How Does it Feel
Chapter Twenty-three
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I just got the internet on my laptop today!
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2 ½ months later:
Olivia sat down at the kitchen table and sighed in frustration. Who knew that planning a wedding was so hectic? What color flowers to buy, who was going to sit where at the reception, what color would the bridesmaids wear, everybody had dumped everything on her- she barely had time to think. If she had known before how hard it would be she would have just asked Elliot to go to the courthouse or just elope.
"Hey, babe," Elliot greeted as he came into the kitchen. He stood behind her and rested his chin on her head, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "How's it going?"
She groaned in response.
"That well?" he asked with a chuckle, kissing the nape of her neck.
"You have no idea," she told him with a sigh.
"You're right," he agreed, "Kathy and I were married in a courthouse. I never had to go through this.... Do you want some help?"
"Mmm," she replied, "you think you can handle it?"
"I can try."
Turning around in her chair to look at him she gave him a small smile, "Well, sit down then."
"Why are you starting so early anyway?" he asked as he sat down in front of the table. "We still have over a month to go."
Olivia sent him a look, "I'm starting to think that I should have started sooner."
"It can't be that hard."
"Think again, bud." She handed him the seating chart she had been working on, "You tell me- where should we put Fin and Munch?"
"With the captain," he replied with a smug grin.
"The tables seat six," she told him as a matter-of-factly. "Now, again- where should we put Fin and Munch?"
"Just put them and the Captain at our table." The smug grin was still there, Olivia smiled.
"What about the kids?"
The grin fell, "Oh.... Yeah."
"Still waiting for an answer, o brilliant one."
He didn't reply.
"Mm-hmm...." the smug grin that had been on Elliot's face had manifested on hers. "Depending on whether they bring dates- which I think is safe to assume Munch won't, Cragen won't, and Fin will. So, that makes four people, we need two more. So, Casey has already informed me that unless some miracle of God knocks at her door before the wedding she will be coming sans a date. Huang has also mentioned that it is not likely that he'll have a date. Problem solved."
"You already had that planned," he accused.
She shook her head, "No. I didn't. I had been working on where to put your parents when you walked in."
"Where are mom and dad going to be?" he asked, looking at the book.
"Sitting with your sister, her husband, and the two little ones."
"Which sister?"
"Maggie."
"Good choice, dad doesn't exactly get along with Amy's husband."
She nodded, "I know."
"Of course you do," he said with a smile. "Well, you've proved to me that I know nothing about wedding planning."
"I didn't expect you to," she said with a grin. "It's nice to have company though. You're not busy?"
He shook his head, "I'm all yours."
She rolled her eyes playfully, "Lucky me."
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A week later she had finally finished the whole seating chart, having had every RSVP returned she knew who all would be attending, and if they were going to bring a guest with them or not. She had been correct, Munch and Cragen both said they would be coming alone, Fin was bringing somebody, and both Huang and Casey had reported that, sadly, they had no dates.
So, with the seating finally aside she could focus on other aspects of the wedding. They had already agreed Elliot's six-year-old niece would be the flower girl and Olivia's eight-year-old cousin (on her mother's side, of course) would be the ring barer. The groomsmen would be Munch, Fin, Elliot's two brothers, and Dickey. It had been decided (after hours of discussion) that the maid of honor would be Maureen, since she was older and had always been closer to Olivia. The bridesmaids would be Casey, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Elliot's sisters, whom Olivia had met only a month prior. Olivia had asked Cragen if he would give her away, since he was the closest man to her, besides Elliot, Munch, and Fin. He hadn't really agreed, but the hug had done the talking for him.
With that out of the way they had to focus in on the specifics of the wedding, they already knew where they would have it, at the church Elliot and the kids had attended for years- Olivia also had started going, although she wasn't raised Cathloic. In fact, she hadn't been raised anything, her mother's religion had always been alcohol. What they had to decide on now was the color of the bridesmaids dresses, which she had already suggested lilac, Elliot hadn't had any objects, the color of the flowers (normally the same color of the bridesmaids dresses), she wanted lilac and white. She still had yet to pick out her dress, or the dresses the bridesmaids would wear, but there was still over a month. She had plenty of time....
"Well find the dresses first thing this weekend," Olivia blurted out while she and Elliot lay in bed. "We should probably leave time for error, just in case."
"Ok..." he was tired, they had been talking about the wedding nearly the whole night. "That's fine with me."
"While I'm looking you should probably figure out what type of suit the guys are going to be wearing."
"Just the normal tux, Liv. Nothing extravagant."
She sighed, "Yes, but I'd like you to have the specific tux already picked out, so that they can be fitted as soon as possible."
"Alright, we'll do that this weekend too."
"Lilac is alright with you, right?" she asked, "Because if you don't like it we can pick out another color. Light blue or something like that...."
"Olivia," he said with a sigh of his own. "It's almost one in the morning, do you think we could possibly discuss this later?"
"Sure," she agreed. "But don't think I'll forget about this. Trust me, I'll remember."
"I never doubted." he said, kissing her gently. "Go to sleep. Purple is fine with me."
"Lilac," she corrected. "There's a big difference."
"Of course there is," he agreed. "We have to be up early ... get some sleep."
And she did.
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When the one-month mark finally rolled around Olivia was beginning to become frantic. The measurements for the suits had gone through fine, they would be in before a week was over, but the dresses had been another story. Something had gone wrong with Elliot's sister, Maggie's, dress, and it had screwed up the whole dress-making process. They wouldn't be in before two weeks before the wedding, which might not be so bad if everything was in perfect order. If something else went wrong she wasn't sure if there would be time to fix it. And to make things worse Elliot's ring was a size to small, it would need to be sent back to be sized, that would take over a week. The flowers still had to be ordered and to top it all off, she was late.
Not late as in late-for-a-meeting late, but late as in- late. Over a week late. She was taking the pill, but that wasn't always 100, there was room for error. She had yet to tell Elliot, she had been late before, it might not be anything to worry about- but she was worried. It was just something to be added to her list of worries ... although it was a little more pressing than the size of a dress or the flower arrangements. But, until she was sure she wouldn't say anything. No use getting everybody worked up for nothing, and by everybody she meant Elliot. The last thing he needed was to worry about another mouth to feed when there was the chance there wouldn't even be one.
So she would have to wait, it was too early for a test so waiting was the only choice.
Wait.
Shouldn't be so complicated, right?
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A week later:
Wait.
Again, she was waiting. Although a minute was hardly the same as a week and a half. Of course, she could have taken the test a few days sooner, but she had put it off. She had been busy- she had been scared. When she couldn't put it off any longer she bought a test on her way home from work. Elliot was working a case with Munch and they would be working late, so she had just decided to walk. It wasn't that far away.
So, she waited. She had grown to hate waiting, but patience was a virtue, was it not? It had been thirty seconds already, but even that short amount of time was way too long for her- she wasn't sure if she should be feeling anxious or worried. Sure, she was looking forward to being the kids step-mother, but they were already grown up, they really didn't need her help with much except for homework and the occasional boy-trouble. She was happy to help with things like that, but was she ready to be a mother? Was a baby something she was ready for?
Forty-five seconds past. Only fifteen more to go. God, why did these things take so long? She picked up the small device and stared at it, hoping that by doing so she would make it go faster somehow. It didn't work. Ten seconds left.... Five seconds left. She put it back down and sat on the side of the tub.
She didn't want to know.
After sitting there for a good five minutes she finally managed to gather enough courage to stand and take the three or so steps over to the bathroom sink. She picked the test and held her breath.
One line.
At first the was relieved, one line meant no pregnancy. She was only really, really late- which was something she didn't really mind anymore. But, after the initial relief passed disappointment stepped in. She hadn't realized it before, but she had wanted the test to come back positive. No matter how nervous she had been or how much she had doubted her abilities as a mother, she wanted to be one. She threw the test into the garbage, covered it with some toilet paper, just in case, and sat on the edge of the tub once more.
She wasn't going to be a mother.
Not yet, at least.
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A week before the wedding things were finally falling into place. After being depressed over not being pregnant for a few days she got back into the sync of things. Maybe she wasn't pregnant just yet, but she had plenty of time, she'd be a mother one day. The dresses had finally come in, they were perfect, Elliot's ring had come in, it fit perfectly, and the flowers had been ordered two days before. They would be ready the day before the wedding. Everything was going smoothly. She couldn't believe it.
Three days before the wedding, Elliot and Olivia walked into the station house, only instead of it being bright and busy as it normally was it was dark and empty. All the lights were turned off and there were no noises- anywhere. Placing her hand on her gun instictively she walked over to where the light switches were and flipped them.
"Surprise!"
She almost had a heart-attack, but smiled nonetheless. It was fairly strange to have a surprise party thrown at a police station, but when she glanced over at the cocky grin on Elliot's face she knew he had something to do with it.
"Elliot Stabler!" she said in surprise when she made her way back over to him, "What is this?"
"A party," he said with a grin.
"I can see that ... why?"
"We're getting married in three days.... You haven't forgotten, have you?"
She glared at him, "That's not what I meant, and you know it."
"Do I?"
She would have continued the conversation if it hadn't been for the fact that the two had then been crowded by co-workers giving them their congratulations before going back off to work. It didn't surprise her much, it wasn't like they could have a full-out party. It wasn't like they could push crime aside because of a wedding that was frowned upon in the first place. So, after ten minutes of talking and laughing, they went back to work. Though, she couldn't contain the smile on her face.
"Thank you," she said to Elliot as they sat down at their desks. "This was really ... unexpected."
"You're welcome," he told her, still grinning. "I'm glad you liked it."
"I almost drew my gun," she confessed with an embarrassed chuckle. "I had my hand on it, I had already unbuttoned the holister."
He smiled, "Yeah.... Well, you didn't, so everything is OK."
She nodded and they went back to work. But the smile on her face would not go away, no matter how much she tried to hide it. She was excited. She was getting married in three days. And although she wasn't pregnant she and Elliot had lots of time to get there. And, well....
She was getting married in three days.
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A/N: Well, there it is. The last chapter will probably be the last and I might do an epilogue. So, let me know what you think about it!