17 September
Dear Dairy,
My first full night sleep after that horrible day. I woke up at 8 in the morning today. I guess I'm making progress, because my last entry was 5 days ago. I'm glad coach said I could start whenever I want, because training started at 7. Lucky me the martial arts team trains in a different gym, else Trevor might begin to suspect something. God I hate having to watch out for him, no scratch that, I just hate HIM.. Anyway, it took me an hour to get ready (thanks to that 'wonderful' thing called morning sickness), but nobody seems to mind. The first thing I ate today was at lunch, but it's been like that for 5 days. For the first time I caught myself thinking about how my baby is going to look like and I found I was hoping he or she will take after Andros. I hope he or she has his hair and eyes and nose and every other feature. I hope he or she will be as open and loving as Andros sometimes was. I hope this child will love life the way Andros could and I hope that one day we can return to KO-35, because that is where we belong. I know that now, but for now it hurts too much to return. I have to return to Angel Grove first and face the people there. I hope I can find the courage to do that, but first of all I have to keep my promise of helping coach Schmidt and the gymnastic through the Olympics.
Love,
Ashley.