Mystery of Secunda's Death, a marion zimmer bradley fanfic

This was for an English wide-reading task.

Characters and plot are not mine. Only the way Secunda dies, belongs to me. Actually, not even that. Just the events that lead up to her death.

Task: English wide reading. Develop a story from one of the minor incidents or characters in a novel you have read recently. 600 words.
Book: Forests of Avalon - By Marion Zimmer Bradley (pg. 428-429)

Mystery of Secunda's Death

Secunda watched as the young Gaulish girl turned her back on her and wandered into the house. A black raven swooped low, calling, and Secunda was intrigued by its smooth, shiny black feathers. She followed it into the forest, stumbling over roots and the deeper she went, the darker it got. Thin rays of light spread themselves across the forest floor highlighting an abandoned path covered with broken twigs and dried leaf matter.

The raven perched itself on a high branch, staring at her, and let out a sharp screech. Secunda was startled and looked wildly around her. She was lost. She heard the quiet sound of running water and followed it. At the same time, the raven took flight.

Fumbling through branches and cobwebs, she covered her eyes from the bright sun and found herself standing next to a deep, murky stream at the edge of the field. The raven cawed and swopped low, violently grabbing a lock of her hair. She cried out in pain, surprised, and tried to shoo it away. Secunda was brought closer and closer to the edge of the stream.

The bird gave one final shriek and Secunda tripped on a loose rock, landing in the stream. Water engulfed her whole body. She let out a strangled scream, water filling her mouth and lungs. The water carried her further down the stream. Fear ran through her veins. The girl struggled for air as more and more water built up inside her lungs. As her head broke the surface, she gasped for air and was brought back down into the murky water.

Images of her parents, the twins and her older sister flashed through her mind. Secunda felt herself weakening. She stopped struggling and let her body be carried by the water. She knew she was never going to be rescued. Consciousness left her, slowly, as her mind shut down. Her vision darkened and she heard her parents' voices in her head. Everything went silent. With one final sigh, her body relaxed and the world darkened around her.

Gaius had started to fear for the worse. What if his daughter was hurt, or even worse, dead? Julia would be heartbroken.

He had been calling her name until his throat was hoarse. He and the servants had searched the whole area, except one place. As he approached the stream, he noticed a stip of torn, pink material hanging off a branch.

Secunda, he thought. Suddenly, his fears arose. Gaius ran towards the stream and looked up and down. His eye caught the pink skirt of a gown and his heart stopped as he recognised it as his daughter's. He had seen her wear it many times when he was around.

Gaius sprinted down to where she lay, motionless and lifted her head gently out of the water. He peeled away strands of dark hair from her face. Her face had gone deadly pale; her eyes closed. He carried her up onto the bank and tried to breathe life back into her again, but to no avail. His eyes glazed over in tears as he realised she could never be saved. How was he going to tell his wife?

He cursed at the Gods before gently picking up his daughter and carried her back through the forest to where their house stood. The gardener joined them.

"Sir?" the gardener asked, looking at Secunda in his arms.

Gaius shook his head sadly. "She's gone," he replied quietly and the gardener moved aside.

This is my first "story" I've posted. What did you think? Review, please.