5 November
Dear Dairy,
The TV-crew has arrived. They won't start filming until the 10th and the first two episodes are going to be about the martial arts team, but I'm really getting nervous. Zhane has asked if he can help out with the gymnastics team when they start filming and coach said it was alright. We all know why he asked and we all know it will happen sooner or later, but right now, we're all trying to make it later and as late as possible. I hope that whatever happens I get to talk to Cassie first of all. Talking to her is just a lot easier than talking to anyone else I know who isn't here at the moment. Cassie will be patient and understand. TJ will to, but talking to Cassie is easier. Carlos, on the other hand, will probably flip. We used to be so close and we told each other almost everything, but I guess we kind of grew apart, but who can blame us? Earth isn't my home anymore, not really. KO-35 is. I can do telekinesis and talk to Zhane and Karone (and, before that day, Andros) telepathically, Carlos can't, he's psy-blind. I'm different from the girl he became friends with. We're still friends, there's no doubt about it, just not as close as we used to be and I'm scared that, because of that, he won't understand my decision. I'm so scared. If it wasn't for the life inside me, I would have tried to kill myself so I wouldn't have to face all of this, but these two have a right to live and they may grow up without their father, but I won't let them grow up without their mother too. I have to hold on.
Love,
Ashley