DISCLAIMER: All characters, settings, and magical occurrences were all conceived and created in the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling. Nothing except the glorious plot is property of mine. No profits are being made from my writing.
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Chapter 8
The book in front of him remained in the same position it had been for the last hour. The exact same page in tact, the same paragraph of focus. The problem was that almost any academic thought had completely eluded him. Draco had so many other things on his mind. He tapped his quill anxiously along the table top. He wasn't used to doing much studying in the library. That might have been the reason that his mind was so cloudy to begin with.
It had only been a day before. He'd been on his way to complete some of his homework at Remus'. But unlike any other time he'd used his late night sanctuary as a quiet place to study, Remus shooed him away. Something about raising suspicion and everyone was already beginning to piece things together. Something along those lines and with all the deep and careful thought, Draco concluded that was extremely far from the truth.
He knew for sure how few people actually knew of the situation. Most of which were the goody goody Gryffindors. The only others were Pansy and Snape. Snape wasn't in a position to accuse anyone of anything at the moment and he knew Pansy well enough to know she wouldn't do anything that could compromise his safety. He was certain of that much. Well at least he'd eliminated it forty-five minutes ago.
So then that meant that there was an entirely different reason that was given. But why lie? Protection? Deception? He wasn't quite sure but it left him skeptical either way. He'd never been so easily brushed off, except by Potter but he really didn't count here. Though in all fairness, the look on his professor's face as he explained those few things was enough for suspicion to arise.
This meant things had to be straightened out. Things needed to be settled. Now all he had to do was figure out how to go about it and he'd be good.
"Draco, you know you haven't turned that page in a good hour?" Pansy questioned looking away from the essay she'd once been busy writing.
"I know, I've been a little preoccupied."
"With?"
"Things that don't concern you."
"Well glad to know I'm appreciated." She sniffed and returned her eyes back to the parchment in front of her. But no matter how hard she tried to focus, in the back of her mind, she wanted to know what was going on that could cause such a mental block. And Draco refusing to share it made it all the more desirable. "Draco, please." She despised the word but it wasn't as bad as flattery. She'd known Draco to hold out for that just for humiliation.
"It's just got things to do with Remus."
"Lupin? All this brooding over Lupin?"
"Keep it down." He shut the book he hadn't even glanced down at and leaned a little closer to the girl so not to speak too loudly. "We kissed the other night and now I've basically been banished without just cause."
"Banished? Melodramatic aren't we?"
"Not at all. I've been reduced to studying with the plebeians here in the library."
She shot him a mock angry look before prying more. "So he kicked you out of his rooms after a kiss. What reason did he give?"
"People were starting to get suspicious or something to that effect."
"And you don't think that could be the truth?"
"Why would someone suspect anything like that? Sure I'm sure most people here firmly believe I'm a Death Eater but what would association with him have to do with anything. There's something more to it. Something he isn't coming right out and saying."
"Well it should be rather obvious to someone of your superior intelligence. Lupin just regrets the kiss in the first place. Thus meaning he's pushing you as far away as possible as to prevent it from happening again, making things more difficult than they already are." Regret? There had been so many ideas floating through his head but he'd left regret out. It was his cockiness that wouldn't let him included it he figured. Regret? Really?
.-.
Remus set down the book he'd been reading. He had a lot more spare time on his hands recently. The absence in his home was easily noted. The bother seemed to be outweighed by the denial he was experiencing. The knock from the door however drove him away from his denial and self pity and he moved to greet whomever had decided to stop by.
"Draco…" He managed to get out. There were those emotions that were entirely impossible to quell.
"There are some things we need to talk about." And one thing in particular. He'd spent the entire day thinking of the conversation he'd have with Pansy the night before. It was just eating away at him. The answers needed to be heard not just inferred.
"Certainly. Come in." He stepped aside to allow him passage into his familiar domain. The tension immediately mounted. Well that wasn't entirely true. He'd spent the better part of the time since he'd last spoke to Draco more stressed than he could remember being in a long time. It was as though certain things weren't right. And they weren't but they were being handled as they needed to be. Feelings had to be put aside. It was in everybody's best interest. Especially since the feelings mentioned weren't easily deciphered to begin with.
Draco didn't hesitate in his entrance at all. Nor did his normal proud gait falter. He had this sick feeling in his stomach that his pride was about to be chipped away but it wouldn't get to him. He had to know. "I'm sure you are entirely sure of what it is I'm here about." He started cautiously, entering just enough to turn and face him again. He didn't sit. He frankly wasn't sure how long his welcome would be extended.
"I have a good feeling." He replied quietly, shutting the door behind him. He was careful not to let his gaze meet that of Draco's. It'd be all too easy.
"You lied to me." Draco got right to the point. He preferred to be blunt in most cases. Sure, sometimes it left the other party offended but your side was registered and there was no question later. No regret. There was that word again.
"What?" Remus managed a bit confused at how quickly things shifted.
"Your reasoning. You lied to me." He reaffirmed in the same tone as before.
"I didn't know how to handle the situation. I did what I thought was best." The truth was a huge contrast to the words he actually spoke. But the truth wasn't helping things. Nothing seemed to be helping things.
"And why is that?"
"Because the two of us was a mistake. Surely you see that." The conversation took a turn Draco hadn't been expecting. Of course, Pansy had offered her two sickles before and the possibility had been brought to his attention but he'd never really considered it. It just couldn't have been the truth. Draco stiffened at the words and all emotion drained as he gave his response.
"Of course it was. The pain left me delirious. To have soiled myself in such a way." Anger was getting the best of him. "Well I won't take up anymore of your precious time. I'm glad we can both consider this mistake corrected." He didn't even give a glance back over his shoulder as he exited, the door slamming behind him. It was indeed a rather large chip that left his pride that moment.
.-.
Draco had taken his normal seat between Pansy and Goyle in DADA. However that day, his attention wasn't what it had been as of late. In fact, one could go as far as to say it was non-existent. Pansy had twice elbowed him in the ribs to jolt him into consciousness but it had yet to work. His mind still remained elsewhere and bitter memories still accompanied it.
"Draco, what is your problem today?" Pansy questioned quietly as Lupin had begun to hand back their latest essay. The essay Draco had worked on the last time he'd been at Lupin's before the past couple incidents had taken place.
"Absolutely nothing. I'm just fine." He grumbled, leaning back in his chair, averting his eyes as his own parchment was placed before him. He slipped it away without a second glance at it and went back to his thoughts.
"You realize that you are an awful liar."
"You realize that I don't care?" He retorted crossing his arms lazily.
"You can't let it bother you like this." She offered checking over her own mark on the essay.
"There's nothing to bother me."
"Just don't let it get to you." She began again and her tone obviously maintained the discussion was closed.
Draco sank back into the silence that was slowly consuming him. He hated himself the more and more it seemed to get to him. But none of that helped. Nothing seemed to help. He'd already been pulled out of Potion's by Snape to make sure his meetings were going well. The Potion's Master insisted it was only because he'd failed to make one foul remark about Weasley in almost a week. He assured him, full of defeat, that he was fine. No need for concern. Concern. What a foreign word. He could think of only a handful of people who'd ever even shown such an emotion towards him and one of them was the "no need." He couldn't do this anymore.
Pansy sent an elbow into his ribs and he jolted back to the conversation with enough sense to realize he was being asked a question. What the question was, was a mystery to him. He forced his face into an all too familiar sneer as his answer came out in his drawling voice.
"Well I do believe you're the teacher, why don't you tell me?" This caused a bit of a laugh from Crabbe and Goyle but Draco didn't let any emotion wash over his face. His professor however, didn't have that luxury it seemed. There was definitely some turmoil that shown back at him. And it serves him right, Draco mused.
Class proceeded of course, with several hateful glares sent in the direction of the Slytherins. And as the bell tone was emitted, Draco wasted no time to remove himself from his surroundings as quickly as he could.
"Mr. Malfoy, would you please stay after class."
Draco turned on heal and took a step back towards Remus. "I don't see the point. I've made a mistake, obviously you see that. Isn't the first time, it won't be the last. There, conversation ended." He slung his bag over his shoulders and coldly turned to make his exit.
Remus didn't say anything. He could've given him detention or docked points but this situation was much more serious than just back talking. And that wasn't all that it actually was. It was like a reminder. A reminder of the decisions he'd made and the results of them.
He'd spent his time lately, unknowingly watching the blonde. He felt obligated in some way to at least do that, especially if common sense would only allow him that much leeway. But soon it wouldn't be so easy just to sit back and watch. There would be a meeting soon. It had been a nice break thus far but he was crazy to think it would end. And with that thought, only worry could float into his head as he didn't know what would happen without himself being there to pick up all of the pieces of the very broken puzzle.
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A/N: Ok I'm getting back to work. Thankfully this semester I've lucked out and had very little to no homework which leaves me plenty of time to write Now if things change, there might be a break again but at this point, things should progress very nicely along. Alrighty, so this was a bit depressing for me at least. I'm too sappy for fighting characters. But anywho, a GIGANTIC Thanks for those who reviewed. Glad to see that some of you stuck around for more of the story even after the long break in between there. Hopefully that shan't happen again :-D As always, read and review. I'd be forever thankful. And now without further ado to my glorious and much appreciated reviewers…
empath89 Glad to see that some of you stuck with me. I was a bit worried that you'd all given up on me. Thanks bunches for the review. I'd had the last chapter half way done for so long that I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get it done. And the angst might have been the leading factor. I'm too sappy but thanks for the encouragement. I wasn't sure how well that actually came across. And as always. Thanks bunches for review!
betsytheripper I can't give out enough thanks! Like I've said, I wasn't sure how seven was going to turn out with my nature but all of the encouragement is helping me to think I didn't totally screw it up. And as for Draco, well he is just a horny little bastard isn't he? :-D Thanks BUNCHES for both reviews!
Jay Kamiya Thanks for the review! I can certainly use all the encouragement I can get. It is MUY appreciated :-D
Visitor-to-the-Echoside Thank you! I'm hoping updates will happen now at a quicker pace, that is the goal anyway. There is definitely a shortage of this pairing out there. I'm just hoping I'm doing justice. Thanks again!
GaBo0 Thanks tons and tons for the review. I've gotten very fond of the pairing over time myself. Thanks!
silver-sunn101 Thanks so very much! Summer has definitely thrown my schedule off. I probably should've expected as much. Thanks VERY much for the kind words. I'm usually so much of a sappy person it'd have been SOOO easy to go the other way with things. It made me sad :-D But anywho, as for Harry and sharing his new found information, originally it had been intended to be rather compact with characters. Obviously so since it focus rather closely on a few of them. Harry was always to be involved but I hadn't given much thought to adding the other two. It might work itself in eventually but as of now, I'm not quite sure. We shall see. I appreciated your last review tons! I find myself in a hurry so often and things such as that slip my mind, I need to work on that. It was like Super Beta to the rescue! Thanks bunches!