DISCLAIMER: All characters, settings, and magical occurrences were all conceived and created in the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling. Nothing except the glorious plot is property of mine. No profits are being made from my writing.

.-.

Chapter 15

For Draco, the holidays couldn't have come any faster. He wanted the break dearly but also with it was the reassurance that he wouldn't be returning to whatever it was his father had planned. Instead, he'd be spending the days doing what he pleased. That in itself was empowering.

Pansy wasn't taking things as well. It was truly then that she realized she was going to be returning home again. The thought had lingered in her mind for a long while before but never so final. When they passed around the list of those who wouldn't be going home for Spring holidays, she'd nearly cried as she wrote her name down. That was saying a lot.

On the final day of classes, things still weren't going to terribly wrong. He'd had his last potions class and Snape had seemed a little off the entire time. Even more so as he asked Draco to stay behind for a moment. Rarely the two of them met to discuss anything. It was too risky with more doubt surfacing around Snape's position.

Snape waited for the others to leave his classroom before shutting the door and returning to his desk where Draco was waiting. "Your father spoke of you after being summoned last night."

"What do you mean?"

"He said he was beginning to question your loyalties. Voldemort seemed to agree with him." Despite his normal persona, the Snape that stated this was anxious. He'd been worried from the moment he'd agreed to do something like this. Snape was much older and experienced in that world, and even he was raising suspicion, but Draco. He was an entirely different story.

"I had a feeling from his last letter that it might be the case." Draco leaned against one of the tables with a hand, running over the scenario in his mind.

"What are you going to do?"

"Well I won't be returning home, that's certain. I've known for a while I was only biding my time. I just hadn't expected it to run out so soon. What have they said of your fate?" Draco had been most concerned lately. He'd heard numerous Death Eaters speak of the Potions professor in a less than flattering way lately.

"I'm not certain. It may not be much longer for me either. Though then things shall get much harder than we're prepared for. Dumbledore has placed a large responsibility in our hands. And with neither of us able to bring new information, it's going to greatly hurt the cause." Draco gave a nod of agreement. He'd passed along minor bits here and there himself but he knew Snape had been responsible for many leaks. Leaks that had saved more lives than either of them knew.

"We'll just have to be on alert then. More so than normal, that is."

"Perhaps you most of all. You need to be careful, Draco. When you least expect it, it all might came back to bite you. You can go. We needn't draw more suspicion." Draco nodded and exited the classroom quickly.

He knew what the Potion Master meant by his statement. Were things that bloody obvious? He liked to believe he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve like Potter so often did, but could you pick up on something of that nature? Was it possible he spoke of the attraction he felt for another of his professors? With Snape, he knew very well that it was. Though he didn't hold too much value to his words. It was obvious that he never cared too much for Remus, even as when they were at school together. That might be a story to inquire about.

As he rounded a corner, going up from the dungeons, he was caught off guard when Potter stepped in his way, preventing him from going further.

"Potter, I'm not in the mood today."

"What did Snape have to talk to you about?"

"As if any of this is your business." Draco moved to push past him but Harry was persistent. "Get out of my way."

"Not until you tell me what happened."

"Why do you want to know anyway? Here I am having spent the last seven years believing you didn't give a damn about what happened to me or Snape and now you're going about proving me wrong."

"Oh, well I don't really give a damn but you see, a dear friend of mine does."

"That doesn't have anything to do with your either, Potter." Draco countered. The last thing he wanted was Potter involved in his love life dictating back and forth about his actions. He was becoming so very bloody irritating.

"Malfoy, I think that I'm entitled to know. It does involve me."

"Actually for once Potter, allow me to deflate your head. It doesn't have to do with you."

"Well…"

"Oh bloody hell! You are rather annoying, you do know that. We can't very well have this conversation here. Follow me." Draco looked around once or twice, in a rather paranoid manner and continued on his path, stopping outside a portrait Harry hadn't remembered seeing before. Draco spoke the password quietly enough so that not even Harry heard him.

"What is this Malfoy?"

"It's where we come and rape innocent Gryffindors then steal their lunch money. It's the back entrance to our common room. Kind of like an entrance room if you will." Draco looked around to make sure the room was empty as it should be. The entrance had long since been abandoned. The portrait wasn't dependable enough and would frequently not show up for hours at a time, leaving the entire house stuck outside.

"Oh." Harry noticed it didn't differ too much from the common room itself really. A little cold, decorated with serpents and a lot of green. "Are you satisfied that no one is listening now?"

"I suppose though I'd rather not tell you at all." He paused and moment and muttered under his breath. "Though I'm sure Dumbledore would tell his Golden Child anyway." Harry shot him a glance stating they didn't have all day and Draco began. "It seems, Potter, that my cover is about to be blown."

"What do you mean?"

"Not the brightest are you? Me staying behind over break, has caused some suspicion to arise with my father and he's brought this to Voldemort's attention. And as for Snape, well, he's been on the block for months now. It's only a matter of time."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"There isn't anything I can do. I have to continue on as though I know nothing about any of this."

"You're going to keep going, knowing that at anytime he could call you out and even kill you?"

"He'd kill me if I don't go." Draco rounded seriously. Harry had never really been faced with a realization such as that. Sure, he was the Savior of the Wizarding World and all of that. Born to defeat Voldemort not only once but apparently twice. And he knew that, but he'd never been faced with a, if you do it you'll die, if you don't you'll die. There was always that bit looming in the back. He didn't have to fight Voldemort. He was choosing to. But he got that choice. Malfoy didn't even have that to fall back on.

"I guess I never realized."

"Well no, Potter, you wouldn't. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other things to do, I'm sure you can show yourself out." Draco entered into the common room through another entrance while Harry ducked out of the entrance. There was a lot weighing on his mind right then. A lot of things he had never pondered very much. Amongst those things was worry. He wasn't certain how well Remus was going to take all of this when Malfoy told him. He'd seen the anger he had when this had begun in the first place. Now it seemed it was only a matter of time before Draco ran out of luck, and he didn't think his friend could handle losing someone else, especially not like that.

.-.

He stood with Pansy seeing Blaise, Vince, and Greg off. Pansy was trying her damndest to remain composed, you could tell. She snapped at just about anything. Finally, they watched the carriages leave for the platform and the pair of them stood there, realizing they'd never be making such a journey again.

"We'd better get inside." Draco spoke quietly. Unlike Pansy who had been dwelling on it, Draco hadn't given as much though to what his life was going to be like without the Malfoy money to back him up. In fact, he'd never given that any thought. He didn't know what he was going to do or even where he was going to do it.

"No. I want to stay out here a little bit." She sat down upon the giant stairs, her elbows resting on her knees.

"Pansy, we should get started on our work over break."

"When I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be just like my mother. Heads turned when she entered the room. Everyone loved her. I loved her, so much." She paused, ears locking upon anything they could find, mind buzzing.

"It wasn't until I got much older that I realized what she really was like. That most people only loved her because they were afraid of her. Most people now don't realize how intelligent she'd been at school. Of course, she'd gone to Durmstrang as most of that side of the family did. She was bred for one purpose. I think sometimes even my father was a little afraid of her ability. He never handled a wand as well as she did."

"But all of that only made me admire her more. She was vindictive and she got everything she wanted. What else was there in life? And I really believed for a long time that she loved me above all. But Draco, the letter I received about not coming back home, it was from her. My father didn't disown me, my own mother did. At least you know your mother would be there for you if she could. Mine could have been and she chose not to." There were tears sparkling in her eyes and her words came to halt.

Draco wasn't sure what to say to her. Pansy was often the portrait of her mother. Gossiping, poised, and always composed. Unless otherwise provoked. She never just broke down in such a manner. In fact, it was rather disturbing watching his good friend in such a mess.

"What are you going to miss most about home, Draco?" She questioned, her tear filled eyes meeting his for the first time since she'd begun her rant.

He thought a while on it. At first, he thought it would be the money. That had always been a plus with him before but even with the money, his life had been no better. It certainly hadn't been an outlet to happiness. His father was proof enough of that. Power had been the next thought that came to mind. But he saw his father and the power he had and above all, he never wanted to be like his father in anything other than looks. Soon he found he was left with just one thing.

"Nothing. I'd never been happy at home before and I should think I wouldn't miss that emptiness and ridicule." He finally sat down beside of her.

She let her eyes drift back to the courtyard scene before her. Finally she gave a bitter laugh and a nod. "You're right."

"I'm going to go back in. Are you coming with me?"

"I'm going to sit out here a little longer. I'll see you in the common room." Draco gave a brief nod and stood back up from the steps, dusting off a little and going back into the castle.

Pansy sat there even minutes after he left, considering what little he had said. She wanted to believe that about her own life, but deep down she knew that even Draco's answer had been mostly from resentment. It was their families they were speaking of. You didn't always have to agree with what they stood for but you did care for them. Evil Death Eater or not. That was the problem with most people at that school. They couldn't understand that.

Her silence was disturbed by somebody exiting the castle. She didn't even turn around to see who it was. She had little concern. There weren't many left at school to begin with.

"Hey Parkinson, have you seen Malfoy around?" It was Weasley. Of all people to run into that day it had to be him.

"As if I'd tell you where he was anyway." Her voice held no conviction at all and even Ron sensed that. That was saying an awful lot. She refused to let her eyes reach his. She was certain you could tell she'd been crying, however little it had been.

"I needed to talk to him about Lupin."

"What about Lupin?" This jolted her attention. With her family weighing heavily on her mind, Draco's own safety had weighed in close at second. She still was more than hesitant about the werewolf. Especially if Weasley was bringing it up.

"I'd really prefer just to talk to him."

"Well he obviously isn't here so you can be on your way."

As Ron turned to leave, his conscience got the better of him and he turned back. "Are you ok?"

This caused Pansy to miss a beat. She hadn't expected that. Perhaps a not so witty retort but never anything like that. "I'm fine." It wasn't hard at all to spot out that she was lying. Though she hoped that as she sat there, avoiding any glance in his direction, he wouldn't pick up on that.

"Not going home for the holiday?" He felt utterly pathetic trying to strike up conversation but something made him want to. Somewhere inside he felt bad for her. Outside crying obviously not returning to her family that holiday either.

"Not this one or any that will follow. Why are you still here Weasley?" She was almost to pleading with him just to leave her alone. She couldn't do this. She'd spilled her heart once that afternoon and she didn't fancy doing it another time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Finally, Pansy lifted her head skeptically and noticed that he seemed genuine enough. She'd hate herself for it later but she moved down the step a bit, giving him room, and she proceeded to give her tale.

.-.

Remus looked up briefly from his reading as he heard his password being muttered. He wasn't surprised as to who it was, more so as to the perplexed and down figure that presented itself. Draco was a right enough mess. He settled down onto the couch, seemingly deep in contemplation.

"Something on your mind?"

"I was just speaking with Pansy. She's not doing too well right now. I've never seen her in such a state."

"I could almost say the same thing for you." Remus stood from the chair he occupied and got the pair of them some tea. He'd have to get something sweet from the kitchens as well. That always seemed to help. Though that might have been become of his insistent sweet tooth.

"I want to help her, but I honestly can't. We're both in the same position." Draco sounded defeated. And it could have easily been the best way to describe him. There didn't seem to be anything he could. In any of the problems that were presenting themselves lately. He assumed that was why he was here. To take his mind off of it for at least a little while.

Remus offered the cup of tea and Draco took it, not bothering to take a drink. Remus sat down beside him on the couch, a weak smile upon his lips. He didn't feel like he could be much of a help either in this situation. He gently touched Draco's knee reassuringly and Draco met his gaze.

"This is where you're supposed to offer me pearls of wisdom." He joked hopeful.

"I'm afraid this never was my forte."

"It's quite alright. It doesn't seem to be anybody's area of expertise." He looked down into the cup a moment. "Did Potter leave for holiday?" It was apparent at his lack of ability at small talk that he was trying to shift topic.

"I'm not certain. There was a little confusion surrounding whether or not the Weasleys were going to be home or not. Dumbledore didn't want him off somewhere else in the world with such little protection."

"Of course not. We can't have anything happen to precious Potter." It was a venom-less sneer that came out. He was out of insults for the day as it were. "You wouldn't mind terribly if I spent the evening here would you?"

"I might be a bit offended if you didn't."

"And we certainly can't have that." Draco finally gave an actual smile since he'd entered there. With that fresh on his lips, he brought them slowly against Remus', testing the waters as it were. And almost surprisingly, he was met with no resistance. In fact, it was quite the opposite of what he was used to.

.-.

Harry sat contemplating in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was actually quiet, which had become a rare occurrence. Though the silence never can last for long before the portrait had swung open and Hermione had bounded in, book in hand. She sank down onto one of the sofas, looking around suspiciously.

"Where's Ron?"

"I had assumed he was with you."

"No, I've been at the library. I haven't seen him since earlier after we all talked. When he'd decided to have his chat with Malfoy. You don't think…"

"Trust me, Mione. Malfoy would have even less words for him than he did me. He's been gone a good couple of hours."

"Well then what has he gotten up to?" She questioned with even more suspicion than before. It was very unlikely he was still talking to Malfoy. Harry had been right about that. He seemed very uninterested in speaking to any of them, let alone Ron. She knew that they were much more than enemies. The dislike wasn't like the jealousy with Harry, it was something much stronger.

"I haven't the slightest. You're not worried are you?"

"Harry, he's been gone a long while."

"You sound like a concerned mother hen, Hermione and I mean that in the most endearing way possible." Harry teased which only rewarded him a rather hateful glare.

"Do you think we should look for him?"

"Hermione, I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Though she didn't seem nearly as satisfied with that answer as she'd have like to. Harry just let it go though. No use in getting her into an uproar over all of this. Besides, it wasn't as though Ron wasn't allowed to be gone from the common room out of the sight of either of them.

.-.

Dusk had come as a surprise as Draco checked the clock atop the mantle. He'd found there had been other things of much more importance. In reality though, he'd been doing very little. It had been a very lazy afternoon. Some random snogging, light discussion in between, and a little more snogging. Though Draco was doing no complain whatsoever.

Currently though, he had a heavy text book propped up and he was trying to get at least some of his work done. He hadn't wanted to spend all of the holiday like this. He was taking advantage of Remus absence in such a way. He'd gone down to find them some dinner. With the afternoon progressing as it did, he'd watched as they'd missed lunch and dinner had already begun being served. He felt, deep inside, a little content. Things perhaps weren't as horrible as he'd been assuming.

There was a slight noise and his isolation ended when Remus reappeared, bringing food. He'd gotten very use to the constant run for food over the months he'd spent there. Especially of course for anything with a high enough sugar content. He wasn't sure why it was, but that man was crazy about anything like that.

And Remus didn't disappoint either with what he brought. He brought the typical spread from dinner as well as some of the most delicious pastries one could've asked for. Though there were no surprises there. But despite all of the food and the relatively brilliant afternoon, Remus looked a little less than happy.

"I spoke with Harry on my way back."

"Oh, I take it the Weasley's aren't home for the holiday then?"

"No." He was very short before moving on to the actual matter at hand. "It seems you two had a talk the other day?"

"Oh. That. He'd just been overly curious with what had been happening on the other side of things. What did he say to you?" Draco had knowingly avoided repeating anything of what Snape had told him to Remus. He'd already had the conversations before about his role in everything and Remus had made his position clear. Admitting his risky situation wasn't going to help things.

"Nothing too important, just that every time you are summoned there is a chance it'll be the last." Draco averted his eyes, feeling the anger fuel up. "Why didn't you tell me about any of that? Surely Snape would agree that I should know, if not for any other reason."

"I couldn't tell you. We'd argued over it before. My answer had not changed. I can't not go. No matter how much anyone wants me to."

"No, you're wrong. You don't have to go. You're safe here."

"But I can't stay here forever, Remus. I have to get through this year."

"And then what?" There was no mistaking the anger that was still laced in his tone. He was less than happy about Draco walking into a literal death trap every time his left arm flared up.

"I don't know."

"Come to Grimmauld Pl. with me. It's nearly as safe as Hogwarts and you'll be with the Order."

"If I make it through this year, I'll be where ever you are." His sad eyes brightened a little, though there was no mistaking the on edge feelings they still shared.

Remus sat down beside Draco on the couch, abandoning food and all reason. Their lips met in a searing kiss, arms tangling around one another. In a desperate attempt to seal Draco's words, clothing was removed, and all other thought lost. Remus let his worry fade away as their bare skin collided, passion rising in both of them as kisses grew more urgent, more desperate.

For that night, all that mattered was each other. What tomorrow would bring was far from their minds, to be set away for later. And for that night, they found something in one another. A calming. A desire. But most of all, they found love.

.-.

A/N: Happy New Year! Just consider it a late Christmas gift. I'd intended to have it out sooner but things just never seem to go as planned. But anywho, here's my late gift to all of you, I hope you enjoy it. Certainly much longer than normal and not so entirely Draco/Remus centric though it is there. And as for Ron/Pansy that was very spur of the moment. I'd been pondering someone to set Pansy up with and I liked the idea of Ron. Of course though, it won't be the center of this at all. This all is still to focus on our favorite pair, as always. Well enough ranting from me, I cherish all of my reviewers dearly! So if you haven't reviewed yet, please do! I love hearing from you…And to those who did, my words of appreciation…

Dreamer'sWasteland: I hadn't even given the length much thought until I began working on the ending. I guess I still have a lot to cram in there before the end. Unfortunately it won't all be smooth sailing. Thanks bunches and bunches for the kind words.

Empath89: As always, I thank you a WHOLE bunch for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the Zabini bit in there. I've been having fun adding these little bits here and there, not quite sure how they're working or if anyone even wants to hear about it. So your word are definitely encouraging. THANKS! It's always a pleasure hearing from you!

Betsytheripper: Thanks bunches for the review! I feel like it has been forever, sorry. I really had hoped break would provide me with much needed time. But unfortunately, it was just full of running around and trying to wade through 15 inches of snow. Though I do hope the wait was worth it crosses fingers So as always, thanks bunches and bunches for the review! It's always a pleasure hearing from you!

Thanks bunches for the review! I feel like it has been forever, sorry. I really had hoped break would provide me with much needed time. But unfortunately, it was just full of running around and trying to wade through 15 inches of snow. Though I do hope the wait was worth it So as always, thanks bunches and bunches for the review! It's always a pleasure hearing from you!