Emphatic

A/N: Sorry about the delay, I would have updated but as you know the site was going through some changes. So here's the next chapter anyway, thanks for all who have been reading!

Chapter 4 - Truth

After my outburst, panic seriously ensued, and I found myself breathing heavily. Pain coursed through every part of my body, and I was about to force myself up from my dream and start pounding on the enforced door when I saw a friendly, familiar face above me. I recognised her as Cas, Dozer's girlfriend before his death. I felt a sudden twinge of sadness, regret and even guilt almost when my eyes locked onto hers, and I saw a melancholy happiness deep within them. It was as if she had been forced to look like she were truly happily smiling, when deep down I knew she was aching. She had lost the one she loved, and I realised how close I was to doing the same. But Neo wasn't gone yet; I had to know where he was. Her heart had been broken, and mine was so close to breaking itself. We had a strange bond together, a bond of pain. But mine was not confirmed yet, and somehow that almost made it worse. I didn't know if Neo was here in Zion, sitting in the room with us, or dead somewhere in the machine city.

"Hey, Trinity. You gave us quite a scare. How are you feeling?" Cas asked smilingly.

"I'm all right. I didn't know where I was," I replied. Then I realised I still didn't know where I was. "Cas, where are we?" My throat stung with these words as if each one was a ball of barbed wire.

"You're in the infirmary," Cas told me. She smiled warmly now. "Back at Zion. How's the pain now?"

"Truthfully?" I asked, almost jokingly but not quite. "Truthfully, I feel like I'm a tennis ball still being bounced off a wall," I moaned. I began to haul myself upwards into a sitting position, making a hissing sound through my teeth. The pain was much more intense than any I had felt before. I had had bullets piercing my stomach, shoulders, even hitting the bone, but nothing compared to this pain that began as a dull throbbing and then became a sharp, piercing feeling all the way across my stomach, down my thighs and into every part of my body. It was almost unbearable. The wounds were gone, but where the metal rods had pierced my body there was a distinct empty feeling, mixed in with a deep aching.

"Easy, Trinity. Lie down," Cas said softly, holding my shoulders and gently lowering me onto the bed again.

I obeyed her. Again, Neo crept into my head and I tried to stop myself from mentioning him. It prolonged the pain but also made me feel more in control of the situation. I needed that feeling. "What's it like out there?" I asked her.

"Well, as you probably guessed, the war ended. But there were many deaths, and much of the city is wrecked," Cas said, her voice cracking.

"Oh," I said, feeling a certain sense of sadness. I had promised myself to wait a little while, until I was better perhaps, to ask about Neo. But I couldn't hold myself back, I was cracking very slowly. I dreaded asking the question, or rather the answer I would get, but I needed to ask it or I feared I might go insane. "Neo…is he here? Is he okay?"

Cas looked at me with some sort of pity, trying to hide it but failing miserably. "I had better get Morpheus for you to talk to. I think it would be better for you to hear it from him than from me," she replied. The sympathy in her face made me want to scream. I feared the worst, which made me squirm constantly in my bed. Everything here irritated me. The rough blankets, the hard mattress, the squeaking of the metal table every time I moved, the glaring lights above me. Everything was against me, it seemed. I couldn't keep still without becoming annoyingly uncomfortable, and every movement sent another rush of pain around my body.

"Trinity," Morpheus said gently, his voice coming from what I assumed was the door. I heard his footsteps clanking gently across the floor of the silver and white room, and rather than risk further pain I let him walk to my bed before finally losing my nerve and turning to him. My neck throbbed dully but I kept looking at him anyway.

"What's going on, Morpheus?" I rasped, my weakness sounding almost too evident. My guard was down, and I hated it. I gritted my teeth in frustration at myself, but Morpheus knew me well enough to let this one pass without comment.

"You want answers. Unfortunately, I don't have what you want to hear. But I do know something, and I will tell you all of what I know. You deserve to hear it," he said, almost soothingly.

"What is it?" I questioned, growing slowly impatient. "Is he still alive?"

Morpheus hesitated, making me sigh heavily and angrily, and then he answered, "Yes."

Up until now my feelings had been angry, frustrated, annoyed, upset, frightened to hell and back, and I had been staring at a point on the opposite wall to stop myself from meeting Morpheus' gaze. I felt enormous relief when I heard that one little word, and a smile even spread across my face. I looked up to him, my eyes almost disbelieving, and when I saw that he didn't share my excitement and joy, my smile faded. His eyes were downward cast, staring at the floor below him.

"Morpheus, what? What is it?" I asked him, closing my eyes in the vain hope that I would wake up from this nightmare. Perhaps I could shut out the cruel world around me. "When can I see him?"

"Well, we're not exactly sure of that right now."

"Why not? He is conscious, isn't he?" I quizzed him. I didn't know if I could bear seeing my lover in a coma again, the first second of seeing him the first time was sheer hell.

"He isn't here, he isn't in Zion," Morpheus explained. He sounded guilty, as though it were his fault. With that comment, my eyes shot open and I began to glare at him. So much rage took over my body at this moment that if I had the ability to move I would have leapt off the bed and wrapped my hands tightly around my mentor's throat. I had loved Morpheus like a father, but I loved Neo as the other half of me, the part that completed my being. I knew it wasn't Morpheus' fault, but rage took over me and I knew that he wasn't telling me everything in his knowledge. I just wanted him to be frank about it, let me know. Also, he was the nearest person to me and quite frankly I would have killed anyone, especially if they weren't trying their damn hardest to find Neo.

"What do you mean he isn't here? Where the hell is he?" I snapped, rarely letting my anger show the way it did then. My voice was high pitched and I was almost shrieking due to my sore throat.

"Calm down Trinity," Morpheus said warningly. He began to explain things to me quickly. "He is in the Matrix. Just as you were. That's what we're sure of. His code shows up on the monitors, but anyone who jacks in just can't find him," he told me. "They just can't."

"I have to go in and find him," I said frantically, determined. I tried to get out of bed, ignoring the pain at first, but when I was on my feet I collapsed before even taking one step. Morpheus reacted swiftly and caught me on the way down.

"Trinity. You are not going anywhere, you're too weak. I can't allow it, I won't. Anyway, you haven't heard it all yet," he told me.

He placed me gently on the bed again and helped me to lie down. He leaned over my body and looked me deep in my eyes, something he rarely did to anyone.

"When the war ended, we knew Neo must have survived to end it. When you both didn't come home, and we expected at least you to come back, we assumed the ship had crashed, or the engine had failed. We gave it a few more days, and then we did the only thing we could do. We sent a search party to the city. It was considered dangerous, suicidal even. No one had made it there in years, but if you made it to finish the war we could only hope the machines would accept us there. Luckily they did, perhaps hesitantly, but they accepted us. We flew around for probably half the day, looking for the Logos, and when we finally found it I got off the ship. There was no one on the ship, it was a wreck. There was blood on the floors, pipes and rods jutting out everywhere. But there were no bodies, which I found to be strange to say the least. Eventually we found both bodies nearby, plugged into the Matrix by two small machines. Both of you were in bad condition, still alive, but in bad condition, and Neo was much worse than you. You seemed to be awake, from what I could tell, and Neo…he was drained. No energy at all, and he was still unconscious."

"How were we plugged in? The ship crashed, Morpheus. It was ruined. You saw that. The blood…it was mine. I was dead," I told him, my voice weakening at the thought of it.

Morpheus heard me and his eyes widened, a fear in his eyes. "I assume it was the machines, the must have healed you. They brought you to life. They plugged you in so we could find you, it seems. Though why they would do that, I have no idea. Link searched his monitors, and when he eventually found you he felt foolish for not finding you before. It just seemed impossible that would be so far from the city. By the time I was in and had contacted Seraph, you had already been found. I assumed the twins had taken you already. Link pulled us out and jacked me in as close as he could to the Chateau. Without the Keymaker we had to go through the mountains and get in without making a sound. Sounds so simple, but was undeniably difficult."

"And Neo?" I asked, getting more and more impatient as time went on.

"I don't know. He was nowhere near you. The twins didn't pick him up, and if we can't see him when we plug in I don't know what is going on. I'm sorry Trinity, but believe me, I am far from giving up."