III – The Bee…

"The bee is more honored than other animals, not because she labors, but because she labors for others."

—St. John Chrysostom

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"Why did I do it?"

Malfoy looked blankly up at the Headmaster, his hands in his lap, as if he was a little child afraid to touch the immaculately clean surroundings. Dumbledore's office was quite nice, but a lot of gadgets on the shelf were broken and his books were piled near his desk.

This morning he had been summoned to the headmaster's, and for a moment he had been afraid. What if, when he opened the door, Lucius Malfoy was standing with his wand fixed on Dumbledore, and a smirk fixed on him?

But he entered the office and saw nothing of the sort, so sat down quietly and watched the headmaster humming and fixing his little stack of papers. Malfoy found himself blurting out,

"Why did I do it?"

There was a brief silence where Dumbledore ruffled the parchments quickly, set them down and took a deep breath from where he was sitting.

"I do not hold those answers, I'm afraid." Said Dumbledore frankly, knowing that he was talking about the defect. He peered sincerely at his student with twinkling blue eyes.

Malfoy cocked his head and squinted, "Aren't you supposed to read my mind or something?"

"Why, I wouldn't know how if I tried." replied Dumbledore innocently, shrugging. "Whatever made you think I could do that?"

"Potter always seems to have high regards for you. I suspected a little foul play."

Dumbledore smiled, but said nothing about it. Instead he asked, "So you've spoken with your responsibility?"

Malfoy looked up at the old headmaster, his hands now clenched on the arms of his squishy chair.

"Quite. What do you mean responsibility?"

Dumbledore leaned forward, both long, spidery hands calmly before them, fingers intertwined. He stared directly at Malfoy, as if observing him very honestly.

"Well, Draco," he said, "As you are out of your father's reach, and in custody of Remus Lupin, you have been taken into the wing of our fold."

"Yes." Draco reaffirmed, nodding.

"As a safety concern, Mr. Moody believes a thorough test will be essential for you."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow.

"…Is it a trend to suspect Slytherins?"

Dumbledore thought a moment, looking up above Malfoy's head as if wondering himself why it was the case. Finally, he stated, "Well, seeing as Slytherin has been the trend for the Dark Lord…"

Malfoy nodded to him wordlessly; he understood.

Dumbledore continued. "Tomorrow you will undergo a Veritaserum interrogation. If you pass, which you most assuredly have my confidence in doing, you will live with Mr. Lupin at Sirius Black's old home. When Harry moves back there in the middle of summer, along with Hermione and Ron, you will be guarding him, Draco. That will be your main responsibility as the youngest member in the Order."

Something shifted in Malfoy's grey eyes. Dumbledore must have noticed, for he blinked. Malfoy looked down at the table, seeming upset and distracted.

Malfoy had once noticed that the others did not consider Hermione, Ron or Harry part of the Order. He questioned the fact of why he had to be part of such a thing.

"Are you wondering why you are the only young one in the Order?"

"Are you sure you can't read minds?" Snided Malfoy suspiciously. Dumbledore ignored him. Instead, he began a long explanation.

"You are in the Order because you, unlike them, have been trained immensely in the Dark Arts and defense by Death Eaters themselves, starting from a very young age.

"Ron cannot join the Order because his parents did not sign the magical contract, they say he is still too young. Hermione cannot join because her muggle parents do not know about the Order, and might be vexed at what the Order is for. Harry cannot join because he is, in fact, the main target of the Dark Lord. Besides that, his muggle aunt and uncle detest magic so much that they would never lay a finger on the magical pact.

"You have no more parents to fret over you, and Remus has already signed the papers. He believes you are old enough. You will have to protect Harry Potter because of these terms. Is it clear?"

"That will be hell." Replied Malfoy flatly, giving a small, ironic bow.

"Indeed. It will be difficult to sever your rivalry, but in order to continue you are left with no other options."

Dumbledore let a small silence dwindle, before asking,

"But, you knew these things would happen?"

"Yes." replied Malfoy immediately.

"You understand the dangers."

"Of course."

Dumbledore leaned in even closer. "You know of the humiliation and the pain that you will have to endure."

"Yes."

"And the exclusion against Slytherin, your old family and friends."

"Yes."

"That is why you fear your life each time you enter the Slytherin commonroom or dorms. That is why you are afraid of joining your old friends at the table."

Inside, Malfoy's heart started beating rapidly; he finally heard all of his fears being uttered out loud, being confirmed. It gave him a sense of reality now than when he had once contemplated this on his own.

Dumbledore asked him something that made him feel even more awkward.

"And you do not know why you changed sides?"

"…Not quite."

They sat silently, Malfoy looked back up at Dumbledore, for once showing helplessness, for once showing Dumbledore the fears which he had so long covered. Dumbledore smiled sadly, like a father not being able to make things easier for his child. And immediately Malfoy felt better; for he knew Dumbledore understood.

"Ahh… yes, it leads us back to your first question," Said Dumbledore, with his serious, booming voice, "A question you must indeed answer: Why did you do it?"

Now Malfoy blinked, and understood, that his question was the hardest question of all.

He stuttered to make a reply,

"…Perhaps… Perhaps the Veritaserum will tell us…"

Inside his mind, the question echoed.

Why did I do it?