Emphatic

A/N: So every chapter so far has been about Trinity's weaknesses, now, for those of you who support Trinity fully, we have some ass-kicking on the way... Sorry for the lengthy delay.

Chapter 6 - Disobedience

A few hours later, Morpheus had been unplugged and was back in the docks with the rest of the crew from the Hammer. All had sombre looks on their faces, even Roland, who I knew had never liked Neo at all. I shook my head so gently that no one could have noticed. I shared their feeling of sadness, although mine was much more intense, much more melancholy. Morpheus immediately left their crew, thanking them for their hospitality, and joined us on the Neb. We discussed our options around a new table in the Mess Hall. I missed our old scratched table, it was gone just like many things in my life had been taken.

I was told that the Logos was in an awful state, and when the ships had gone to retrieve her they decided against it. They had considered repairing her, assuming that just the frame had been wrecked, including the windscreen and the consoles. But it turned out the damage went deeper than that. Her engine had blown, destroying any chance of her ever flying again. Even with a new engine she was just a wreck through and through. The pipes had burst, short-circuiting all electrical equipment. Even the weapons could not be saved. There was no point in repairing a tiny ship with that much damage - it would be easier just to build a new one.

Morpheus also explained that while he was on his search for Neo that day, he had gone looking for the Seeker, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Why didn't you keep looking?" I snapped, anxiety and frustration, stress and weariness taking control of my brain and speech.

Morpheus didn't seem at all fazed by my sharp, nasty comments, in fact he seemed to understand why I made them, though he didn't blame himself either. He just remained perfectly calm and collected. "I just thought there would be a faster, more effective way of finding Neo, if he is right under our noses. Time is something that cannot be wasted in this world, Trinity. The Seeker may already have been deleted."

"Did you ask the Oracle?" I asked him, my voice high pitched with desperation. For a moment, Morpheus hesitated, falling silent and avoiding my gaze.

"No," he told me. Something told me he was lying. I had never experienced a feeling of betrayal so intense as this, but if Morpheus kept something from me, I somehow managed to realise that there was some sort of reasoning to it, no matter how unreasonable I saw that to be. Asking him wouldn't make him tell me, beating him senseless wouldn't make him tell me. From here on in it was up to me, at least that's how I saw it.

All three of us fell silent, giving me time to think things through. An idea finally came to me, after discussion had begun again. I had to plug into the Matrix myself, and no one was going to stop me. I was a strong woman, I could handle myself. If they couldn't accept that, then I'd prove it to them. How I was going to get myself inside was another problem. The Neb couldn't fly yet, and we couldn't plug into the Matrix from Zion. I would have to get on another ship. For a moment I considered stowing away on a ship, and then I considered lying to a crew to make them take me with them on their next trip out. A ship would be returning from lookout soon, so another would have to take its place. Then I realised that the Hammer would be going out, probably with Morpheus. Getting on it would be a much better plan, but with Morpheus on board it would be difficult to hide. I had no choice but to discuss it.

"When are you next going out?" I asked Morpheus, hopeful for a desirable answer.

"The Hammer is back for the night. Most of the crew, including even the new members, are extremely energetic. They've been working shifts almost a week long at times, which most ships at this time aren't doing. They're leaving again tomorrow," Morpheus replied. That was a good sign, though it still didn't solve the problem of getting past Morpheus.

"Are you jacking in again?" I quizzed him.

"No, I'm sorry Trinity. I'm needed for a council meeting tomorrow, to explain how the search is going." My heart leapt. I didn't think ahead at all, I just knew that now I had less to deal with.

"Sir, am I coming with you?" Link asked, looking up from his hands.

"No, Link. That reminds me, you are needed on the Hammer tomorrow. Their operator took a bad injury to their hand, they have been ordered to stay in Zion for another week. I offered your services to them. Can you do that?"

"Not a problem, sir."

I saw the opportunities arising. Link could easily be manipulated - it was his one flaw. He could be manipulated by love especially. I knew I had to use my negotiating skills now. They were so rusty from being unused for years that I wasn't sure if they would even work, but that was what I had to go on so I was willing to give it a try.

I will try anything.

Shortly after that, I rose up from the metal chair in the Mess Hall, taking my cane from against the ship wall and turning to the other two. Morpheus got to his feet, and he looked at me caringly. He placed a hand gently on my shoulder, and I could swear the only time I had ever seen his face filled with so much emotion was when we watched the Nebuchadnezzar when she was hit by the sentinel bomb, all his work blown up in two seconds flat.

"You take care," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, just quiet enough to stop Link from hearing. He smiled a little and I turned away, still angry at him for lying to me. Slowly I hobbled out of the ship, down the ramp and towards the bridge again. I had to return to my cabin for some serious thinking before tomorrow. It was getting into the early evening now, by the looks of the amount of people who were out. If Neo had been with me now we probably would have been heading back to the cabin to go to bed, but not for sleep. We would have made love and then discussed what we planned to do the next day, planning our tactics and how we were going to get past the rest of the crew. But now I returned to our room alone, my options buzzing around in my head, mixed with thoughts of him, his smell, the feeling of his bare flesh against mine, the stroke of his hand down my body. I shook my head in shame at myself, before finally reaching the crewmembers' row of cabins.

I slipped through the flaking red door into the dim light, pulling the cord on the wall to turn on the overhead light, and quickly dropping into our bed. I unbuckled my boots, dropping them with a loud clank to the metal floor, and slid under the rough blankets onto the hard mattress. I pushed the blanket down to around my waist level, and wrapped my fingers around the rough fabric of the bottom of my sweater. I lifted it up to my chest and surveyed the dressing below it. I had to know what the damage was like now. There was no blood on the dressing, which was a good sign already. As I slowly peeled off the bandage, wincing very slightly at the remaining pain from my wounds, I saw that they were almost healed. There were still gashes where the metal had gone through, the skin having not been healed, but the machines had managed to heal inside my body perfectly, and the stitching on my wounds was very good, very precise. My body was clean, and no blood stained even the skin around the wounds. I was glad to see that I would be well enough to jack in, but just to be completely sure I pressed on the gashes to see how much pressure they could take. I felt some pain, but not even half as much as I had expected, and I managed a smile despite the situation. I still throbbed from the fresh bruises I had received, but I was doing very well.

I thought for a while about what I was going to do, and decided I was not going to tell Link of what I was doing. I knew his ways pretty well by now, and knew that he would be about half an hour late for the Hammer. Zee kept him under close control, and they were a very passionate couple. I didn't have to guess that she would be the cause of his tardiness. I would leave for the ship before he would even be leaving their cabin, and would meet him at the docks. I would make sure he didn't go back to Morpheus, and then I would explain to him I was coming with him. He couldn't stop me, I knew he couldn't. I didn't want to plan things too much, for fear of trying to follow my plan and completely messing everything up. So I decided to get a couple of hours of sleep, wake up and have a quick shower - my first in about three weeks - and then make my way to the docks. I liked this plan, and somehow managed to drift over into a dreamless sleep.

--

The next morning was important to me; one of the most important days of my relationship with Neo. If this went wrong I might not find him. But of course, I tried to ignore that thought for as long as was humanly possible. Without a clock I couldn't tell the time, but I assumed I was very early for when I had a look outside the lights of the busy-by-day city were still completely out, and even the men of the control tower weren't awake yet. My body clock was also pretty used to timing, and because I still felt tired I assumed it was very early morning. I walked towards the modestly small bathroom, with just the basics amenities, and climbed into the shower. The pipes clanked loudly and it was about ten seconds after I turned it on before water gushed out. At first it was cold, then it returned to its usual almost-warm temperature. I stood under the water, my face turned upwards, facing into it. I let it run all over my body, a kind of cleansing of the body and mind, before I finally decided to get out and get dressed. I dried my hair with an old rag then ran it over my skin quickly, before pulling on my sweater and pants nervously, buckling my boots as quickly as I could manage. I decided to banish the cane today, to make myself look stronger and possibly more threatening if I needed to seem that way to get my own way.

I made my way across the bridge for the second time in the last 24 hours, my anxiety making my head clear for the first time in about a month. I enjoyed this feeling, without really realising that I was enjoying it. It made me feel relaxed, strangely. When I reached the docks that feeling disappeared, and I perched on one of the metal crates. I had managed to walk across without too much of a limp, so I had a certain sense of pride in myself. I focused my brain on that feeling so as not to notice anything else I might feel, and literally a few minutes later the lights of the city went on. A very short while after that, the crew of the Hammer started appearing from their cabins, ready to board their ship again. I turned and started to walk as fast as my broken body would let me, and dodged in behind one of the tall stacks of crates. I stood there with my back against the wall, not used to being stealthy, and listened as three of the crewmembers appeared. I recognised Roland's voice, as well as Mauser and a new voice. Female, older than me and rough. From the tone of Roland's voice, he held some kind of mutual respect with her, the kind that is underlay by the feeling of, "You kick my ass and I'll kick yours harder."

Soon, the rest of the crew had arrived, including Colt and another new person. He sounded young, and I didn't quite catch his name, but his voice was very soft, it sounded somewhat caring. None of the crew boarded the ship, and eventually Roland's angry tone surfaced.

"Where is that damned operator? Is everyone on that ship useless?" he growled. I heard the stomping of angry feet. I shared the feeling, ready to pounce out at any moment and beat the living hell out of Roland for that comment.

"You know that's not true," the woman said. She didn't use the word 'sir', I noticed, and it reminded me of myself. Perhaps she was high in the rankings too. I imagined Roland's face at that comment, and wanted to smile. "You respect Morpheus, even if you don't believe what he says."

"Damn it woman, that doesn't matter right now," he grunted, defeated. I smirked.

Soon after that, impatience still rising within the group, I heard hurried footsteps on the bridge. I recognised them to be Link's, though his clumsy steps made him resemble Kid.

He's early.

"I am so sorry sir," Link said. Always showing respect for the captain…

"You're damn right," Roland snarled. "Are we ready men?"

There was a cough.

Roland groaned. "And women," he muttered.

"Yes sir," a few of them replied at once. The group left, leaving Link to pick up one of the remaining bags and start to follow. I caught him at this moment, striding up behind him quite loudly and grabbing his upper arm in a vice grip.

"Ow," he yelped, turning round to see me. His eyes widened, and his mouth didn't close after his complaint. "Trinity, what are you…"

"I have to come with you."

"What? No, you can't…You can't," he said, trying to hide his anxiety.

"I have to," I repeated firmly.

"Trinity…" he whined.

"Link, you are taking me on that ship with you, and you are telling them it is at Morpheus' request. I am jacking into the Matrix, and I am going to find him. Do you understand me?"

Link shook his head, turning his body round to face me. I heard someone shouting from the other side of the dock.

"Link, hurry the hell up!"

"Just a minute, sir!" he called back. "Trinity, you know I can't let you do this. Morpheus…he'd kill me! He'd fire me, I'd lose my job…"

"Link, this is Neo we are talking about. I am jacking into the Matrix to find him, and you can't stop me. I am going to do this with your help or without your help, but you better damn well hope it's with it."

Link looked shocked, and as he chewed his bottom lip I saw him inhale very deeply, and he was very reluctantly giving in.

"I…"

"Link, even with injuries you know I could knock you out."

His eyes wandered to the floor, and he bent over to pick up the bag. "Then I guess you better come with me now," he said. As this happened, I noticed the ashamed look on his face, as if he thought his loyalty to Morpheus has just been completely ruined.

--

We boarded the ship with ease, the newer crewmembers not really taking a second glance at me. Roland and Mauser, however, glared at me, Mauser more kindly than his captain. Roland marched up to me with his back perfectly straight, and I imagined him with his chest puffed out just like a little child walking up to his bully. He looked me up and down from above his nose, attempting - but failing - to make me feel inferior to him. I had never liked Roland. Of course, he was an undeniably brilliant captain, but as a person he was belittling and cruel. I wouldn't have minded had he not included me in his snide little comments and superiority complexes.

"And what, might I ask, are you doing on my ship?" he asked, the 'my' emphasised yet again with a tinge of superiority. He looked down his nose at me once again, and I clenched my hands into fists to keep myself calm.

"I am here at the request of my captain," I told him as casually as I could muster.

"Link?" Roland called, obviously immediately frustrated by this.

"Yes sir?"

"Do you know of her being here?" he asked, facing towards Link but turning his eyes to glare at me with a certain hostility. Luckily this redirected his eyes from Link, who could not help but look shamefully at the floor. I could see him growing embarrassed and nervous. His boot scuffed softly on the metal grating below.

"Yes sir, of course sir. Captain Morpheus stated that she should come with us, plug in to look for Neo," Link replied, eventually looking up. He winced at his forgetfulness and added, "Sir."

Roland stared at me for a moment longer before turning back to Link. "I was sure Morpheus knew we could handle this ourselves."

"Of course sir. But Trinity…"

"I need to look for Neo," I said sharply.

Roland turned to look at me, a sly smile playing on his thin lips. "Oh. Of course, and you would know better, wouldn't you? His lover, his girlfriend. Just don't get in the way." With that final comment, he stomped off, rapping off orders to his crew. This was much to my relief, as I had finally got a chance to release my fists, which had been so tight they had caused my knuckles to turn cold and white.

"Trinity, this better work. And damn it, you are getting the blame if Morpheus finds out," Link hissed at me, spinning on his heel and walking towards the Mess Hall of the large ship.

I whispered softly after him, "He will find out."

It's a chance I'm willing to take.

A/N: Yet another chapter. Any thoughts? I wasn't sure how to work this, because it was difficult to find a way for Trinity to jack in, still avoiding Morpheus who we all know would definitely not let her go…