Author's Ramble: Sorry this took so long. I'm sort of a perfectionist with my songs and I kept looking for the right words for these two parts. Anyway, this is another of my favorite scenes, for the same reasons as the last scene. The new lyrics, with the tune of the song is just…so emotional. Kurt's a very complex character and they haven't fully explored his angst in the cartoon. I did a lot of that here so it's very heart wrenching. Poor Kurt. Don't ya just wanna give him a hug?
Thanks again to all my reviewers! I accept all reviews, positive and negative. To Todd Fan: *blushes* Thanks so much! Coming from a fellow song fic/Musical writer, that means a lot. I've done a lot of song revisions and so I try very hard to make sure it's good. :)
To Eileen Blazer: It's never too late to review. ;)
Scene II:
Kurt is lying on his bed, crying. He wipes his tears, telling himself that men
aren't supposed to cry, but it's no use, the tears continue to flow. He
plays the incident over and over in his mind, wondering if it was real, hoping
it wasn't, then realizing it was.
As the tears fall, he sits up on the edge of his bed, looking down at the floor
with a very sad look upon his face. He looks up and sees the mirror
reflecting the monster that he is, the monster that he hates, that everyone
fears. He turns away, not wanting to look at himself anymore.
Kurt hates mirrors and always has. Until he came to the Xavier Institute
and got the hologram inducer, he had hardly looked at one. He looks at
his inducer and realizes that he hasn't turned it back on since the incident at
the school.
He turns it on and looks at the mirror again, this time not turning away but
instead continues to look at himself. He moves closer to it until he is within
arm's reach. He examines his face closely, touching it as if he is
looking at it for the first time.
He continues staring at the mirror, looking at a reflection that he knows isn't
real, in awe that he could look like that. He can't believe his eyes. It
still leaves him in wonderment sometimes, the fact that he can actually LOOK
normal. A slight smile comes to his face, but as soon as the thought of the
incident comes back into his head, he frowns once more. He turns the
hologram inducer off and stares at himself in the mirror.
Kurt: I'm a monster and now everyone knows it. They're all so scared of
me. I'll never be normal...
The Real Me (to the tune of "Reflection" from "Mulan")
Look at me
I vill never pass for a normal kid
Or a normal mutant
Vy did I
Have to be born looking this way?
Now I see
Dat if I vere to really reveal myself
I vould scare da vorld avay
Vat is dat freak I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Vy is it the real me's someone
I hate so?
Oh how I've tried to hide
Vat I am
Vith all my might
Ven vill my reflection show
Who I truly am?
Ven vill my reflection show
Who I truly am?
(He turns his image inducer on and stares at the mirror again).
Illusion (to tune of "Reflection" from "Mulan" by Christina Aguilera)
Look at me
It may seem dis is who I really am
But it'll never be me
Ev'ry day
It's as if I play pretend
Now I see
If I vear dis vatch
I can hide my looks
But I cannot hide da truth
Who is dat boy I see
Staring straight back at me?
Ven vill my reflection show
Who I truly am?
I am now
In a vorld vere I can't show my true self
Or even my true colors
But somehow I vill show da vorld
Vat's inside my soul
Not be judged for how I look
Who is dat junge I see (junge=boy in German)
Staring straight back at me?
Vy is this illusion someone I can't be?
Vy must I be disgraced
From showing my real face?
Ven will my reflection show
Who I truly am?
Dere's a truth dat I wish I could show
Dat I vish I could just let da whole vorld know
Vy must we be judged for
How we look
What we are?
Must dere be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't always be disgraced
From showing
My real face
Ven vill my reflection show
Who I truly am?
Ven vill my reflection show
Who I truly am?
(Kurt goes back to his bed and lies down. He curls into the fetal position and starts breaking down crying.)
* * * * * * * * *
Sorry for depressing you guys. There'll be more angst, but don't worry, there'll be other stuff too. :)