1/5/05

NOTE: why are you still reading?

Yesterday, I was in my room hiding under my covers. Why am I fascinated by blood? Then the team came home. How could I possibly explain this to them when I don't even know how to explain it to myself?

"Raven?" Cyborg called through the metal barrios of my door, "Can we come in? Are you ok?"

""I'm fine, thank you," I could just see their faces, "Go away now."

One after the other I could hear their foot prints leaving. I sighed. Finally they were gone. Anyways, why would they care about how I felt? THEY were the ones who wanted me to go on stage to make a fool out of myself. (I guess they got their wish)

"Rae?" Beast Boy was standing by my bed.

"How did you get in?" I mumbled from under the sheets.

"Oh, I just turned into a flea and crawled under your door."

I almost laughed, "You are a flea"

He didn't take any notice of my little insult, "Raven, what happened back there? You were amazing!"

I didn't speak. Beast Boy grabbed the blankets and pulled them down past my face.

"Tell me what's wrong or I'll have Starfire come in here and feed you some of her crazy foods."

I smiled faintly, "Great,"

"So ………. You were gonna tell me something?"

I was? Oh yes, "I've been feeling kinda psycho lately, that's all" I lied.

He raised his eye brow, "What the f -"

"Fine!" I had to tell somebody, "I've had these weird cravings. I don't know what to do! And every time I get slightly reminded of it, I get consumed in just the thought of it!"

Beast Boy's eyes became big, "Aw c'mon," he said sweetly, "Don't cry Rae,"

Was I crying? I don't cry. I felt my cheek, it was wet and cold. My bottom lip began to quiver. (What is this?)

Beast Boy reached down and hugged me. Now I was short of breath and the saddest sounds sprung out of me.

It felt good, I guess, having Beast Boy there holding me tightly.

"We'll have Robin do some tests or something and everything will be fine, ok?"

I took my sleeve and wiped my eyes, "mmmhmmm" was all I could say.

"I'm gonna go and get the team together. Come down and meet us soon."

"..K" I said robotically. He hugged me again.

"Don't worry Rae" and then he went out of the room. And that was all. And just one more not for the future: crying, I don't "do" crying. Rather, I won't do it again.

Later:

I walked into the room and everyone was staring at me.

"Friend Raven, have you contracted some disease? Are you soon going to resemble a Tamaranian griffnark?" Starfire has a lovely way of putting things.

"No," I hissed, "I'm just weird, as usual. With weird cravings"

Beast Boy's pointy ears sank down. (I guess he remembers the whole Malchior thing)

"And fellow friend Beast Boy, why is your shoulder stained with salt water? Is it customary to dip one's shoulder in -"

"No, Starfire," Beast Boy said passively. (Please don't tell them I cried) "Its noting, just something I did." He finished.

I could have smiled. But I didn't. (Sometimes I think I've forgotten how)

"Whatever, man," replied Cyborg, "Raven, Robin and I are going to need to take a sample of your DNA to check it for any subtle differences. Whenever strange cravings happen, something is released in the DNA. We can figure it out from there."

"Yea," Robin said, "It's gonna take three days though, tops," He raised his hand and gestured.

"You need some DNA, huh?" I asked.

They nodded their heads.

"Well here," I quickly pulled out a strand of my hair and sent it over to Cyborg.

"We'll get on it right now," Cy said and began to walk away.

"Until we find out what is exactly going on, just be careful with what you eat." (or drink I'd say) Robin said and then followed after Cyborg.

There was silence. Nice, clean, pure… "Oh dear Raven!" (Never mind, not anymore) "I shall make you the pudding of happiness!" Starfire squealed and floated off in the kitchen's direction.

Beast Boy smiled at me, "I guess I should go and change my shirt" He said weakly.

"Yea..." is all I said. Wait! "Wait!" I called.

"What?"

"I need to tell you about the reason why I think I'm acting this way."

"What happened, Rae?"

(A/N: I hope you like it! The story is about to get really really really really good! Thank you to all of my reviewers! muah! sorry this chapter was soo short. But believe me, the next one is gonna be wicked awesome!!!)