If

by Psycho King

A true look into the mind of Genma about Ranma

"Normal Speak"

/Sound Effects/

'Genma's Thoughts' (Yes, I know it's scary, but a necessary part of the story)

If, Ranma

It was a wonderful day in Nerima, for Genma Saotome.

The sun was shining, and not a cloud was in the sky. 'Fate must be on a holiday,' he pondered.

Kasumi was in the kitchen, preparing another excellent dinner for both the Tendo and Saotome families. That thought brought a smile to his face. 'That girl's meals are almost divine.'

Nodoka was with her, add her own special recipes to the already impressive meal. 'Oh, how I have missed her secret ingredients.' In addition, after the failed wedding, she has been leaving her katana in her room more often and not constantly reminding him of the seppuku pact. 'Sometimes, Nodoka, you must take things in stride.'

Nabiki was in her room, calculating her recent earnings into her ledger. 'I pity the poor people you scammed this time, girl.'

Finally, a shouji board was in front of him, and his best friend, Soun, was facing him from the other side. Both of them trying there hardest to cheat another victory out of the other. 'If only the day was also going well for my son…'

The ground suddenly trembled as a dust cloud was kicked up behind the walls of the Tendo compound. 'Poor boy…'

Earlier this morning, Ranma got into another fight with Akane over, what was suppose to be, an omelet for him. It soon resulted in a chase that involved all the younger members of the Nerima Wrecking Crew. 'I'm getting too old for this.' The chase was now into its second hour and fifth lap around town. 'You live a cursed life, my son. All because you were born a Saotome.'

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

Both Soun and he began to hear yells from the mob:

"I worked all morning to make this for you. So, why won't you eat it!"

"Airan, you take Shampoo on date! Yes!?"

"Stay away from my Shampoo, Saotome!"

"Ranma honey… What are you doing?!?"

"Ranma! For angering Akane, prepare to die!"

"Oh, Lord Ranma! Leave these others behind so that we might enjoy eternal bliss together!"

"Halt, foul demon! You inscroll my twisted sister, yet pursue the fair Akane and these other maidens! For that, you must be destroyed by the glorious Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"

"Akane! What'd I say?!"

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

In his mind's eye, Genma thinks back to the incident with the Shi Shi Hokodan. He remembers how Ranma developed the Moko Takabisha from his own imagination, to fight off Ryoga's depression with his confidence. 'In doing so, the boy earned my respect for his resourcefulness.'

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Genma thought even further back to the day before they left for China. 'When I first meet him, I thought Ryoga was a weakling. A fighter not even worth your time. Yet, you were willing to face him, because you saw his potential. I'm sure that if I hadn't dragged you off, you would have waited till the end of time for him to show.'

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

'You have always been sincere in your words, my son. It has often gotten you into trouble, but for it you have become a better person. I wish it could be said of the others, but only Akane shows the same nature.'

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

'In your short life, you have made many enemies, some of which were my fault. Yet, you showed each the respect they deserved. Only feeling true hatred for one of them.'

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

'Many of them lost because they underestimated you. Seeing your rough exterior, and thinking that you mind is just as unpolished. That is your greatest weapon'

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

Genma paused in his musings as the Kuno siblings fell into the koi pond. The wave they made was big enough to get everyone, including himself, wet. Ryoga was lucky enough to have been behind Akane when he transformed. 'All of us, who have been cursed by Jusenkyo, hoping one day to be cured. Yet, where as Shampoo, Mousse, Ryoga, or I would do anything to be free of our animal forms. You have never lost sight of what is truly important, and have often given up a cure in order to save another.'

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

'I have always taught you to think ahead before each fight, for that is the best way to survive a battle. But you have learned, yourself, that when the time came, you should never hesitate. A flaw that Soun and myself have yet to overcome.'

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

'Whenever you lost, you never let it destroy your spirit, and your love of the Art. Also, ever sense…' (Shudder) '…Saffron, you have given up most of your pride over your victories. You've started taking joy from being amongst friends and family at the end of the day instead of winning.'

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Genma watched as Kodachi pulled herself out of the pond, looked around, glared at Ranma-chan, and declared, "You there! Pig-tailed harlot! Tell me where my darling Lord Ranma has gone to so that I can join him and allow him to once again bless my tender lips with his kiss! OOHOHOHOHOHO!"

In an instant, Akane, Ukyo, and Shampoo-neko paused in there fight to join the latest argument.

"RANMA!!! What did she mean by 'once again'!?!" Akane yelled.

"I ain't done…" the red-headed sometimes-girl tried to protest.

"How could you?! Making time with another girl. I'm your 'cute' fiancée!" Ukyo ranted.

Ranma developed hurt look on his face. "Ucchan, I didn't…"

"Merow!" an odd colored Siamese cat jumped onto Ranma-chan's back. "Mew mew merow rerow hissss…"

"ACKKK!!!!! CAT!!!!! GETTA OFF A ME!!!"

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

After a few seconds of blood-curling screams, Genma heard the one sound that has always brought him dread, "MEROW!" The sound of Ranma going into the Neko-ken, the Cat-Fist.

As if the situation wasn't volatile enough, the joyous proclamation of "Hacha!" heralded the arrival of the perverted Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts, Happosai. Genma-panda nodded to Soun, cueing their joint upturning of the dinner table and hiding behind it as a barrier to the approaching battle.

"Rerow!" before Happosai could 'great' all the girls in front of him, Neko-Ranma-chan got into battle position of the cat, arched back and one paw ready to swipe.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

What would happen next would have been an epic clash of titans, one that would have been spoken of for generations to come… '…if the master hadn't sent her airborne with his pipe after only taking one hit.' Genma thought as he watched his son-turned-daughter fly straight up into the air.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!";

"Hey, Happosai! Over here!" Akane yelled from the far side of the koi pond.

"Hacha!"

It took a moment for Genma to realize what Akane was doing. 'Drawing the master's attention, so as to give the other girls a chance to escape. Noble… foolish, but still noble.'

When Happosai was a foot away from the young Tendo girl, his pleasure seeking pounce was end with a falling feline blur. "Merrrrrrrooooooowww……!" who nailed the perverted grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, knocking the micro-pervert out cold.

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;

"Wha…What happened?" a right-minded Ranma-chan asked.

"Nice shot sugar!" Ukyo cheered.

"Huh…?" Ranma said unintelligibly.

After getting some warm water for herself, Shampoo joined in the celebration. "Airan defeat Happi. Prove he make good husband for Shampoo!"

"Wha…?" came another bright response from the neo-girl.

"Quack!" the glasses-wearing duck whose was just standing there, looking in Ranma's general direction, neither attacking nor congratulating. Genma knew this was the closest that Mousse would come to praising Ranma.

"Oh, pigtailed-girl!" Kuno proclaimed, hugging Ranma-chan from behind. "You have inspired my noble self by so honorably risking yourself to defend your fellow maidens. Such bravery is deserving of my love!"

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you but none too much;

Later that night, after most of the house had gone to sleep, Genma was laid-out on the porch in panda-form. 'How I over-ate during dinner, I'll never understand.' Genma's stomach was in so much pain, he thought he was hearing voices.

"This is all so stupid…."

'Wait, I actually heard that. That was Ranma's voice.'

"…serves you right, baka, it's all you're fault…"

'That was Akane's voice. They must be on the roof.' Genma continued to listen in, hoping to hear something that would lead to a wedding.

"How'd ya figure that, you tomboy?" Ranma said.

"Easy, if you had eaten my omelet, none of this would have happened." Akane paused for a moment. "…wonder what happened to it? I was going to throw it out after dinner."

"Feh, that 'thing'?" came Ranma's voice. "I used the Le Parlay Du Foie Gras to feed it to pops during dinner."

Genma tried to growl, but was in too much pain to do so. 'I'll get him for that in training tomorrow.'

/Bap!/ came the well-known sound of a random blunt object impacting Ranma's skull. '…or maybe not…'

"You trying to imply something about my cooking...?" Akane said, on the verge of yelling.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run –

In what Genma realized must have been a brief moment of wisdom in his son, Ranma said, "Not really, I jus' thought it was a waist of… gulp …food."

There was a long moment of silence, until Akane's voice was heard again, barely a whisper. "…sorry…"

"S'rry for what?"

"I know my cooking is not the greatest. It's just that I get so sick of it…"

"No surprise, your cooking could make anyone sick."

/Crunch!/ 'That's more like it,' Genma thought.

"That's not what I meant you baka!" Akane grew quiet again.

"Sorry 'kane, you know me, 'mister foot-in-mouth'."

"Yeah, it wouldn't feel normal if you didn't insult me at least every now and then," Akane sarcastically added. After another pause, she continued. "I'm just tired of always ending up doing the same thing, over and over. Trying to cook makes me feel like it could change. That one day my cooking would be good… that Ukyo would be happy just being our friend… that the Amazons would go back home… that our fathers would leave us alone… that the Kuno's would get a clue…"

"I think your asking too much with that last one 'kane. No way, those two would ever be normal."

Akane's soft laugh rolled down to Genma's panda ear. '…so much like her mother…'

"Tell me Ranma," she said somberly. "Do you think I'm crazy to want everything to be normal?"

"Nah, only thinking that it'll be 'completely' normal. Even I dream of things changing one day. We can only hope that it will be a peaceful day."

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

There was a slight shuffle of fabric as Genma heard his son speak in a nervous tone. "Uh… Akane wha're you doing? 'Sumthing the matter?"

"No, nothing's wrong Ranma. Just let me stay here, by your side, at least for tonight."

"Sure 'kane, you can stay."

And – which is more – you'll be a Man my son!

'…and a far better man than I,' were an elder martial artist's last thoughts that faithful day.

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Author's Notes: This fic is spawned by the fact that I just can't believe that Genma is as evil as some fans portray him. Sure, he's a horrible human being, but he's human none the less.

The poem is "If" by Rudyard Kipling.