Ron had seen many peculiar things in his life. (That tended to happen when you had a father who had a disturbing obsession with Muggle things.) But nothing had shocked him as much as what he was seeing now.
Hermione Granger, his best friend...looked hot.
It was the weirdest thing ever. Hermione was the bookish one, the one who yelled at him and Harry whenever they were less than serious, whenever they didn't do their work, whenever they made fun of SPEW or whatever the hell it was, whenever they...
Hmmm, Hermione yells at us a lot...
Just like you to get distracted. She's right you know. You can't stay focused.
Shut up.
You wish.
What the hell? I am not arguing with myself!
Yeah you are.
Argh!
Hee hee! You may continue.
Thank you. Anyway, it's like I was saying; Hermione is many things...but she never was bothered about her appearance. She didn't care whether she looked hot or not. Well, until now anyway.
She's right you know.
You again?
Yep.
Damn.
I let you continue. I think that it is only fair that you allow me the same courtesy.
Fine. But you don't sound like me.
Yes. That's because I'm not and insensitive dolt. Hermione is a girl-
Duh! I know that!
I don't think you do. What did you think, that she wasn't going to make any effort to look good tonight? You knew she had a date as well.
Yeah, well...I didn't know it would be someone like him.
That's because you don't really think about poor Hermione. She is girl, and she wants to do girly things as well you know.
What, with the giggles and all that?
You do exasperate me sometimes Ronald.
You. Are. Me!
Hermione isn't a Lavender or Parvati. But she still has needs you know. Just because she's studious doesn't mean that she can't embrace the joys of womanhood.
You did not just say that.
I did. And laugh you may, Ronald...but you know it's true. What do you think that she and Ginny get up to when she stays at your house? I don't expect that they study their Transfiguration notes you know.
Yeah, but still-
You are really beginning to frustrate me Ronald!
God, who knew that my conscience was such an arse?
And there's another thing...what do you think when you see her over there, dancing with Krum?
Just because he's some Quidditch player they think he's all that...if he does anything to my Hermione...
Ah-ha!
What?
You said-
Thought-
Excuse me?
Thought, not said.
Ronald!
Okay! Sheesh! Why the hell does my conscience sound more like my mum than me? Uh-oh...mum you aren't breaking into my mind or anything are you?
No of course this isn't your mum! And as I was trying to say, you said "my" Hermione.
So what? She's my friend!
I want you to look at her again Ron. Forget about Krum. Forget about everyone else. What do you really feel about her?
Finally! Please tell me that after all these years you're finally seeing it!
I think...I think that...
Come on! You can say it!
I think that...I love her...
Good heavens boy you took your time!
Okay now you just sound like Percy...
Hmph…
But don't you think it's kind of superficial? I shouldn't just like her 'cos she looks pretty.
It wouldn't be the first time that you fell for a girl based on her looks.
Oi!
It's true.
The thing is, I…
Look Ronald, you know you love her. This is different. You don't only like her for her looks. You like her for who she really is.
Why now…
Because you're finally opening your eyes up to the fact that she's more than just a friend. Trust me-it's real.
She'ssaying good night to Krum.
All right then, after that, you have to go up to her and tell her.
I'm scared.
I know you are. I'm you remember?
Well yeah but wait I don't know that and what if she doesn't like me back what if she hates me for telling her what if she never talks to me again I couldn't stand it if she stopped talking to me what if I lost her I swear I wouldn't' be able to take it.-
Stop rambling! And go!
But-
Now!
What the hell is he doing?
Ron, don't get involved-
He shouldn't be doing that!
Ronald, don't!
Why did you have to interfere like that?
Did you see what he was doing?
You had to let your jealousy get out of hand didn't you?
I was defending Hermione!
Well she didn't look hugely impressed to me.
She's annoyed with me isn't she?
Well judging by the fact that she yelled out "I hate you Ronald Weasley" I think that's a pretty safe assumption to make.
There's going to be hell to pay when I get back to the common room.
Well you'd better get going! Hurry up!
Why the hell is my conscience such an old bugger?
Why didn't you tell her the truth?
It isn't easy you know.
No, you just complicate things!
Stop ganging up against me!
Ronald, you're just being ridiculous. And you'd better stop it, before you lose her for good.
You know, I wish that you'd just stayed out of it.
Me?
Yeah if it weren't for you I could be having fun with my friends right now.
That's just so typical of you. You'd rather be ignorant than face the truth. I wish that I didn't have to get involved.
Then why did you?
Because I'm your conscience. That's what I have to do.
Go sod off.
I will.
Good.