Next chapter... Nah... No time for long notes... Thanks to all who read and
reviewed Chapter II... Itachi here is a bit OOC... Adds to the humor... I don't
really know... I haven't seen him yet in the series... So, excuse the author... I
don't own anything about Naruto... Read on... Hope you all like it... Review
afterwards... thanks...
Once Upon a Time in Konoha Chapter III: Scene II: Itachi, the Magic Mirror, and the Big Bad Wolf
Poof!
A taller version of Uchiha Sasuke appeared, wearing a cloak of some kind...
Sasuke grimaced, as he started his Sharingan, "Itachi!"
"Damn this disgusting cloak!" Itachi complained, wiping the filth off his cloak. "Fifteenth century! Aargh!" He snapped his fingers. His tattered cloak turned into a brand-new, purple satin robe. "Definitely better." He glanced up to look at his brother who was obviously glaring at him. "Ah! Sasuke!" He smiled wickedly, eyeing the pink dress (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) his brother was wearing. "Why, Otouto, you never told me you have a thing for gowns..."
"Itachi, you bastard!" The last thing Sasuke needed was his brother seeing him in this absolutely damn-to-hell outfit.
Damn Itachi...
Damn this pink dress...
Damn being a princess...
To make it short, dear Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, with Itachi invading the first sentence... anyway...
Once Sasuke finished his damn-speech, he pulled out three kunais (he loved the number three...) out of nowhere and threw them at Itachi's direction.
"I will kill you, Itachi! You are so dead, you hear me!"
"You never learn, do you?" Itachi said, looking rather bored. He caught the three kunais in midair and tossed them back at Sasuke.
Sasuke moved away just in time.
"By the way, Otouto, no need to shout at me like that... I'm not deaf, you know..."
"Itachi!" Sasuke advanced towards Itachi, in an attempt to hurt his brother, no matter what.
Itachi sighed. "You have absolutely no taste in gowns, do you know that?"
Sasuke stood rooted to the ground. He blinked, as his eyes returned to their normal color. Did he just hear his brother talk about gowns?
Sasuke didn't have the time to think, for at that moment, Itachi snapped his fingers, and Sasuke's pink dress (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) turned into a violent shade of red, and take note, it's strapless.
Sasuke's black eyes widened in horror, seeing the strapless gown red as blood he was wearing at the moment. If the pink gown (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) was bad, this was definitely worse.
Hell... Even the color...
Figures.
Itachi loved blood.
"What the hell!"
Itachi shook his head. "No, definitely not." He snapped his fingers once more.
The red strapless gown became backless...
Became blue, with a low neck...
Became black, with long sleeves...
So on, and so forth...
"Too daring."
"Too classy."
"Nope, definitely not that one."
So this went on for one hour, twenty-eight minutes, and fifteen seconds, but hey, who's counting?
Sasuke could only roll his eyes in shock and frustration...
Itachi was still frantically obsessed with the gown his brother would be wearing... He just loved it when he's annoying his little brother... Keyword... Hatred... Definitely more hatred...
The all-powerful Kakashi? Too obsessed with the book to notice the bizarre confrontation of the two Uchihas... Anyway...
At last, several outfits later, Itachi settled on a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached Sasuke's thighs...
"Perfect! Now you look like a real princess!" Itachi frowned. "Well, partly. There's still something wrong."
A pause.
"Uh, I know! Your hair!" Itachi snapped his fingers, and lo, and behold, a brush appeared... He approached Sasuke.
Sasuke blinked.
His hair? No way in hell, this is getting too far, damn hell too far...
He flushed as he saw the slits of the dress he was wearing. What the hell was with his brother today?
And why the hell does it have to be pink?
"Get away from me!" Sasuke yelled as he backed away from Itachi.
For the first time in his life, Sasuke was actually scared of his brother... Scared of this fashion-obsessed freak Itachi... He'd face the bloody murderer side of him a dozen times... But this version of Itachi? NO WAY!
"Err... Aniki, what are you doing here by the way?"
And the way dear Sasuke was staring at the brush Itachi was holding... It seemed like it was a nuclear bomb that would go off anytime...
"I was right outside the opened window when the Kyuubi opened the cursed book." Itachi coolly replied. He smiled evilly. "Thank him for me, by the way... If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sharing this quality time with my brother..."
Sasuke's eyes widened.
Itachi called this quality time?
Seriously, what the hell was with him today?
And if he knew better he was in a very serious danger...
In a very serious danger with this fashion-obsessed freak Itachi...
"How come I didn't feel you?"
Dear Sasuke was pretty much determined to distract his brother's attention from doing 'that' thing...
"Because unlike you, my dear Otouto, I am very careful." Itachi smirked. "Now, be a good girl and let dear brother brush your hair!"
"No!" Sasuke yelled.
Then at that moment, Kakashi laughed. That Kakashi whose nose was still stuck on the book, whose story he was supposed to be narrating, was actually laughing...
Some may call it perfect timing...
Sasuke and Itachi looked at him with that what-the-hell-is-so-funny expression on their faces.
Okay, the "confrontation" between Sasuke and Itachi was definitely worth a laugh, with Sasuke half-scared to death, and the older Uchiha grinning like a maniac, but hey, they weren't in the right state of mind to realize that.
"Boy! This.... Is... more... interesting... than ... Come Come Paradise!"
Kakashi continued to laugh, and was laughing so hard, that he forgot to breathe oxygen into his system.
What was he doing before that? Well, the silver-haired jounin was flipping through the pages of the book... So, literally, he now had an idea of what was bound to happen in the next chapters...
Hence, he was laughing...
Meanwhile, dear Sasuke, if still possible, paled even more. More interesting than Come Come Paradise? Seriously, what could be more interesting than that perverted book, by Kakashi's standards?
Sasuke shivered at the thought.
Damn Kakashi-sensei!
Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, though this time Kakashi got the honor of being in the first sentence. Anyway...
Several confusing minutes later...
The silver-haired jounin finally calmed down, and for the first time, noticed Itachi's presence. "Itachi, you're here." He gave the Uchiha a curt nod.
Itachi nodded in return, and still couldn't say anything. He wasn't over the shock yet of seeing the jounin dressed in a tunic, with what-the-hell- was-that-on-his-hair, who suddenly burst out laughing for no apparent logical reason at all...
"I'm a god, you know." Kakashi said, sensing Itachi's confusion. He laughed once again.
A god? Itachi thought, this is so weird...
Kakashi then turned to his student. "Sasuke, is that really you?" His eyes widened, his mouth gaped open, seeing Sasuke dressed in a pink, Chinese- collared, sleeveless dress with slits that reached to his thighs.
Why the hell didn't he bring a camera?
He received a death glare in reply.
Kakashi turned to Itachi. "Great make-over."
Itachi smirked. "Thanks, took me some time though. Dear Otouto was a tricky customer..."
"Kakashi-sensei? Aniki?" Sasuke yelled at the two, who were both laughing at the moment, "Could we go on with the story?"
"Oh, yeah, right, the story." Kakashi coughed. "So, as I was saying, the princess had an older brother..."
"Wait, how come he," Sasuke pointed at his brother, "Plays a he part?"
"Blame the book, Otouto."
"This is so unfair." Sasuke whined, as thoughts of conspiracies entered his mind.
"Anyway, as I was saying, the princess had an older brother. They got along very well at first, because their parents had died... Okay, let's skip that part... Let's see... But as time passed by, the prince became envious of the attention the princess was getting..."
"Me!" Itachi suddenly interrupted, "Envious of the attention Sasuke was getting? You must be joking!"
"Would both of you stop interrupting!" Kakashi seriously said, turning the page of the book. "I'm only narrating! Besides, no one interrupts the all- powerful Kakashi!" He laughed once again.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Not again."
Itachi could only blink in confusion. This is absolutely so weird...
"The prince sort of saw the princess as a threat to his power, don't ask me why Itachi, I don't know... That somehow the princess could come into his, her, hell, whatever, senses and dethrone him... The prince was in fact a sorcerer. He had learned and mastered the dark arts at an early age. Now the prince was vain...Prince Itachi had a magic mirror locked in his room..."
A mirror appeared out of nowhere...
"I'm not vain!" Itachi defended.
"Vain? A magic mirror locked in your room?" Sasuke repeated, chuckling. Itachi glared at him. "Aniki, I didn't know..."
"This is only a story, Itachi." Kakashi coolly replied, slightly amused by the situation: of how one story could inflict torture over the two Uchihas.
"And everyday, the prince will look into the mirror and say..."
Itachi walked in front of the mirror. "Mirror, Mirror on the wall..."
A green smoke emerged from the said mirror...
Green? The silver-haired jounin sweat-dropped.
The face of Gai appeared...
That only meant one thing. Kakashi sighed. He had to cope with Gai's out-of- this-world orations again.
"I am the magic mirror!" Gai said, flashing that smile. He looked at the two annoyed Uchihas, one wearing a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, and the taller one, wearing a purple robe. "Good to see you, Uchihas! Good thing you two are in perfect health... Health is one thing that shouldn't be taken for granted, especially by the youth!" He turned to the bored face of his rival. "My rival! We meet once again!"
Kakashi yawned and stretched his arms. "What time is it?"
The two Uchihas rolled their eyes.
"Why are you wearing a tunic? Can this be? You are a god while I'm just stuck being a mirror? No, this is impossible! My rival just beat me! No! I can't..."
Kakashi turned to Itachi. "Ah, Itachi, say your lines, before I eventually fall asleep." He yawned once again.
Itachi nodded. Upon seeing the waxed-bowl-head man with thick eyebrows, he had eventually arrived at a conclusion. All jounins must be this weird...
"Mirror, Mirror on the wall..."
A pause.
"Ah... where's the Kyuubi?" Itachi absentmindedly asked.
Kakashi, Sasuke, and even Gai sweat-dropped.
"Err... Itachi," Kakashi beckoned to the Uchiha, "That's not what you were supposed to say..."
"What am I supposed to say?" Itachi impatiently asked.
Kakashi turned the pages of the book, read a few lines or so, then whispered something to Itachi.
"What!" Itachi exclaimed, "I'm supposed to say that!" Kakashi nodded. Itachi muttered a curse or two before finally giving in. "Fine."
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall," Itachi was in front of the mirror once again. He hesitated before continuing. "Who is the fairest of them all?" He ran a hand through his hair to add to the effect.
Sasuke started laughing. Itachi's sharingan started glowing. ." He glared at his brother. "Shut up, Otouto
"And everyday, the mirror would reply..."
Gai coughed. "You see Itachi, beauty is not at all vital to the development of one's individuality. The nature of beauty is not at all crucial, not like the essence of one's personality. Personality is what makes..."
"Just give him the answer, Gai, damn it." Kakashi snapped, as Gai's speech was making him sleepy once again.
"Yeah, fine." Gai glared at his rival. "It's not as if, you my rival, knew things about the essence of the good formation of the individuality and character of a person through..."
"Gai!"
"My lord, you are indeed the fairest in the land..."
"The Prince was always content with the mirror's answer, until one day, the answer was different."
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
And believe it or not, Itachi was actually getting the hang of it...
"Alas! The mirror replied..."
"Like what I said earlier," The face of Gai replied in a confident tone, "Beauty should not be considered as..."
Itachi absentmindedly threw a kunai at the mirror, purposely missing it by a mere inch. "Just give me the answer." He dully said.
"Youth these days, absolutely no respect for the elderly." Gai fretted, "My lord prince, you are indeed fair, but alas, the princess is indeed fairer than you..."
Itachi sort of panicked. "What!"
Sasuke smirked. Defeating his brother even just in looks was a big achievement. Not that he cared much about his looks, anyway...
"Now the princess was incredibly beautiful than ever, having reached the age of promises and dreams," Kakashi grinned underneath his face mask, "Sweet sixteen as they call it... With his, her, hell, whatever, dark hair, ebony eyes, smooth skin as white as snow, lips as..."
A glare from Sasuke... Trust his sensei to ruin everything...
"Anyway," Kakashi coughed, once more turning to the book, "The prince's hatred for the princess grew, mainly because of envy..."
It was Itachi's turn to glare at him this time. "How many times do I have to tell you that I do not envy Sasuke? I am not, and will never be envious of him! He's only a helpless weakling not worth my time!"
"What did you say?" Sasuke yelled, clenching his fist and activating his sharingan, his hatred towards his brother returning full time...
Itachi smirked evilly, his eyes glowing red. 'You want me to repeat it, Otouto? You're nothing but a helpless..."
Kakashi swallowed hard. Okay, time for him to do something. "So anyway, the prince's hatred for the princess grew, and I don't know why, so don't ask me." He said, eventually interrupting the two. "So one day the prince decided to kill the princess..."
Whew... Who knew that a narrator's job wasn't as easy as one, two, three?
"So the prince summoned the big bad wolf to do the job for him. He was the prince, after all..."
Itachi snapped his fingers.
Poof!
A confused Kiba and Akamaru appeared...
Kiba blinked. "Where the hell am I?" He paled as he saw the wolf skin he was wearing... Take note... the wolf skin he was only wearing... "Gah! Why the hell am I wearing this? Gah!"
Unluckily for him, the first person he saw when he looked up was Uchiha Sasuke...
Yep, that Uchiha Sasuke who was dressed in a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs...
Kiba blinked once more.
"Mwah haha!"
Sasuke definitely glared at him...
(He started his damn-speech again, and yep, it was Kiba who got the privilege to be in the first sentence this time.)
Kakashi, Itachi, and Gai rolled their eyes.
After several minutes...
Itachi smirked, "When you're finished drooling over my brother, or sister, hey, whatever..." Sasuke glared at him... "I got job for you to do..."
"I really...can't...believe...this..." Kiba muttered, between his laughs. "Uchiha... Sasuke... the... Great... Uchiha Sasuke...former...number one...rookie...was... wearing... a... dress!"
"Wait... till I... tell everyone... Mwah haha haha..."
Another death glare...
After several minutes, Kiba eventually calmed down. "Err... why are you wearing those?" He turned to look at Kakashi, who was wearing a tunic, to the mirror... Was that Gai-sama? To Itachi who was wearing a purple robe...
"On second thoughts, never mind. I don't want to know, right Akamaru?" Kiba raced on, before Kakashi could even open his mouth and proudly say, "I'm a god..."
"So anyway, Big bad wolf..." Itachi said, continuing the story...
"I have a name you know," Kiba scowled, "Kiba. If I'm a big bad wolf..." He picked up and cuddled Akamaru, "This is my accomplice, Akamaru." Akamaru barked.
"Fine. Whatever. I want you to bring the body of the princess to me... dead..."
"Why the hell should I do that? Who just the hell are you to order me?"
"I am Uchiha Itachi, that's why." Itachi coolly replied. Then he smirked.
"I'll tell you where you can find Red Riding Hood and dear Grandma..."
Silence. Kakashi, Sasuke, Kiba, and Gai just stared at the older Uchiha.
"Or I can tell you how to blow the brick house of the three little pigs so you can eat them..."
"What!" Kiba yelled, "What are you mental?"
"Ah Kiba," Kakashi said, "Just agree, that's how the story goes..."
Sasuke shook his head. Seriously, what the hell was with his brother today?
Kiba groaned. "Fine. So what do you want me to do, Uchiha Itachi?"
"Good question." Itachi thought for a while, "I want you to bring back the princess' heart in this box... On second thoughts... Just eat him alive..."
Sasuke watched in awe as his brother suggested the weirdest of ways to kill him
"Nah... just burn the princess in a stake... Poison him... Or prick his finger in a spindle... No, just bring the princess to a shop and buy him a couple of lovely gowns... or better still, bring him to a parlor and give him a makeover... Make him wear a bikini top..."
Sasuke turned white. Gowns? A makeover? Bikini top? Gah...
"Err, Sasuke," Kakashi said to his student, sort of sympathizing with him, "I guess you better run right now..."
With a nod, Sasuke bolted off.
"Make up your mind!" Kiba yelled, "Sasuke just ran away you know..."
"Wait, I'm still thinking..." Itachi impatiently replied, "Fine. Just bring the princess back to me... alive... I'll think a better way to torture him... Or I think I'll just kill him myself..."
Kiba and Akamaru left a still pondering Itachi, muttering something about a freak-who-started-suggested-weird-ways-then-decided-to-just-bring-back-the- target-alive.
What a complete waste of time...
Meanwhile...
Okay, under normal circumstances, Sasuke wouldn't run. He would have boldly faced his fashion-obsessed brother and the big bad wolf... But hey, forget his pride! He didn't want a new gown, a makeover, nor to wear to a bikini top! Any more, and he'll really be insane...
Damn. Sasuke cursed, as he ran as fast as he can, and as far as possible.
When will this nightmare ever end? What other "surprises" are in store for him in this story?
More interesting than Come Come Paradise... Yeah, right...
Once Upon a Time in Konoha Chapter III: Scene II: Itachi, the Magic Mirror, and the Big Bad Wolf
Poof!
A taller version of Uchiha Sasuke appeared, wearing a cloak of some kind...
Sasuke grimaced, as he started his Sharingan, "Itachi!"
"Damn this disgusting cloak!" Itachi complained, wiping the filth off his cloak. "Fifteenth century! Aargh!" He snapped his fingers. His tattered cloak turned into a brand-new, purple satin robe. "Definitely better." He glanced up to look at his brother who was obviously glaring at him. "Ah! Sasuke!" He smiled wickedly, eyeing the pink dress (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) his brother was wearing. "Why, Otouto, you never told me you have a thing for gowns..."
"Itachi, you bastard!" The last thing Sasuke needed was his brother seeing him in this absolutely damn-to-hell outfit.
Damn Itachi...
Damn this pink dress...
Damn being a princess...
To make it short, dear Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, with Itachi invading the first sentence... anyway...
Once Sasuke finished his damn-speech, he pulled out three kunais (he loved the number three...) out of nowhere and threw them at Itachi's direction.
"I will kill you, Itachi! You are so dead, you hear me!"
"You never learn, do you?" Itachi said, looking rather bored. He caught the three kunais in midair and tossed them back at Sasuke.
Sasuke moved away just in time.
"By the way, Otouto, no need to shout at me like that... I'm not deaf, you know..."
"Itachi!" Sasuke advanced towards Itachi, in an attempt to hurt his brother, no matter what.
Itachi sighed. "You have absolutely no taste in gowns, do you know that?"
Sasuke stood rooted to the ground. He blinked, as his eyes returned to their normal color. Did he just hear his brother talk about gowns?
Sasuke didn't have the time to think, for at that moment, Itachi snapped his fingers, and Sasuke's pink dress (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) turned into a violent shade of red, and take note, it's strapless.
Sasuke's black eyes widened in horror, seeing the strapless gown red as blood he was wearing at the moment. If the pink gown (with ruffles and laces and all that stuff) was bad, this was definitely worse.
Hell... Even the color...
Figures.
Itachi loved blood.
"What the hell!"
Itachi shook his head. "No, definitely not." He snapped his fingers once more.
The red strapless gown became backless...
Became blue, with a low neck...
Became black, with long sleeves...
So on, and so forth...
"Too daring."
"Too classy."
"Nope, definitely not that one."
So this went on for one hour, twenty-eight minutes, and fifteen seconds, but hey, who's counting?
Sasuke could only roll his eyes in shock and frustration...
Itachi was still frantically obsessed with the gown his brother would be wearing... He just loved it when he's annoying his little brother... Keyword... Hatred... Definitely more hatred...
The all-powerful Kakashi? Too obsessed with the book to notice the bizarre confrontation of the two Uchihas... Anyway...
At last, several outfits later, Itachi settled on a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached Sasuke's thighs...
"Perfect! Now you look like a real princess!" Itachi frowned. "Well, partly. There's still something wrong."
A pause.
"Uh, I know! Your hair!" Itachi snapped his fingers, and lo, and behold, a brush appeared... He approached Sasuke.
Sasuke blinked.
His hair? No way in hell, this is getting too far, damn hell too far...
He flushed as he saw the slits of the dress he was wearing. What the hell was with his brother today?
And why the hell does it have to be pink?
"Get away from me!" Sasuke yelled as he backed away from Itachi.
For the first time in his life, Sasuke was actually scared of his brother... Scared of this fashion-obsessed freak Itachi... He'd face the bloody murderer side of him a dozen times... But this version of Itachi? NO WAY!
"Err... Aniki, what are you doing here by the way?"
And the way dear Sasuke was staring at the brush Itachi was holding... It seemed like it was a nuclear bomb that would go off anytime...
"I was right outside the opened window when the Kyuubi opened the cursed book." Itachi coolly replied. He smiled evilly. "Thank him for me, by the way... If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be sharing this quality time with my brother..."
Sasuke's eyes widened.
Itachi called this quality time?
Seriously, what the hell was with him today?
And if he knew better he was in a very serious danger...
In a very serious danger with this fashion-obsessed freak Itachi...
"How come I didn't feel you?"
Dear Sasuke was pretty much determined to distract his brother's attention from doing 'that' thing...
"Because unlike you, my dear Otouto, I am very careful." Itachi smirked. "Now, be a good girl and let dear brother brush your hair!"
"No!" Sasuke yelled.
Then at that moment, Kakashi laughed. That Kakashi whose nose was still stuck on the book, whose story he was supposed to be narrating, was actually laughing...
Some may call it perfect timing...
Sasuke and Itachi looked at him with that what-the-hell-is-so-funny expression on their faces.
Okay, the "confrontation" between Sasuke and Itachi was definitely worth a laugh, with Sasuke half-scared to death, and the older Uchiha grinning like a maniac, but hey, they weren't in the right state of mind to realize that.
"Boy! This.... Is... more... interesting... than ... Come Come Paradise!"
Kakashi continued to laugh, and was laughing so hard, that he forgot to breathe oxygen into his system.
What was he doing before that? Well, the silver-haired jounin was flipping through the pages of the book... So, literally, he now had an idea of what was bound to happen in the next chapters...
Hence, he was laughing...
Meanwhile, dear Sasuke, if still possible, paled even more. More interesting than Come Come Paradise? Seriously, what could be more interesting than that perverted book, by Kakashi's standards?
Sasuke shivered at the thought.
Damn Kakashi-sensei!
Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, though this time Kakashi got the honor of being in the first sentence. Anyway...
Several confusing minutes later...
The silver-haired jounin finally calmed down, and for the first time, noticed Itachi's presence. "Itachi, you're here." He gave the Uchiha a curt nod.
Itachi nodded in return, and still couldn't say anything. He wasn't over the shock yet of seeing the jounin dressed in a tunic, with what-the-hell- was-that-on-his-hair, who suddenly burst out laughing for no apparent logical reason at all...
"I'm a god, you know." Kakashi said, sensing Itachi's confusion. He laughed once again.
A god? Itachi thought, this is so weird...
Kakashi then turned to his student. "Sasuke, is that really you?" His eyes widened, his mouth gaped open, seeing Sasuke dressed in a pink, Chinese- collared, sleeveless dress with slits that reached to his thighs.
Why the hell didn't he bring a camera?
He received a death glare in reply.
Kakashi turned to Itachi. "Great make-over."
Itachi smirked. "Thanks, took me some time though. Dear Otouto was a tricky customer..."
"Kakashi-sensei? Aniki?" Sasuke yelled at the two, who were both laughing at the moment, "Could we go on with the story?"
"Oh, yeah, right, the story." Kakashi coughed. "So, as I was saying, the princess had an older brother..."
"Wait, how come he," Sasuke pointed at his brother, "Plays a he part?"
"Blame the book, Otouto."
"This is so unfair." Sasuke whined, as thoughts of conspiracies entered his mind.
"Anyway, as I was saying, the princess had an older brother. They got along very well at first, because their parents had died... Okay, let's skip that part... Let's see... But as time passed by, the prince became envious of the attention the princess was getting..."
"Me!" Itachi suddenly interrupted, "Envious of the attention Sasuke was getting? You must be joking!"
"Would both of you stop interrupting!" Kakashi seriously said, turning the page of the book. "I'm only narrating! Besides, no one interrupts the all- powerful Kakashi!" He laughed once again.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Not again."
Itachi could only blink in confusion. This is absolutely so weird...
"The prince sort of saw the princess as a threat to his power, don't ask me why Itachi, I don't know... That somehow the princess could come into his, her, hell, whatever, senses and dethrone him... The prince was in fact a sorcerer. He had learned and mastered the dark arts at an early age. Now the prince was vain...Prince Itachi had a magic mirror locked in his room..."
A mirror appeared out of nowhere...
"I'm not vain!" Itachi defended.
"Vain? A magic mirror locked in your room?" Sasuke repeated, chuckling. Itachi glared at him. "Aniki, I didn't know..."
"This is only a story, Itachi." Kakashi coolly replied, slightly amused by the situation: of how one story could inflict torture over the two Uchihas.
"And everyday, the prince will look into the mirror and say..."
Itachi walked in front of the mirror. "Mirror, Mirror on the wall..."
A green smoke emerged from the said mirror...
Green? The silver-haired jounin sweat-dropped.
The face of Gai appeared...
That only meant one thing. Kakashi sighed. He had to cope with Gai's out-of- this-world orations again.
"I am the magic mirror!" Gai said, flashing that smile. He looked at the two annoyed Uchihas, one wearing a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, and the taller one, wearing a purple robe. "Good to see you, Uchihas! Good thing you two are in perfect health... Health is one thing that shouldn't be taken for granted, especially by the youth!" He turned to the bored face of his rival. "My rival! We meet once again!"
Kakashi yawned and stretched his arms. "What time is it?"
The two Uchihas rolled their eyes.
"Why are you wearing a tunic? Can this be? You are a god while I'm just stuck being a mirror? No, this is impossible! My rival just beat me! No! I can't..."
Kakashi turned to Itachi. "Ah, Itachi, say your lines, before I eventually fall asleep." He yawned once again.
Itachi nodded. Upon seeing the waxed-bowl-head man with thick eyebrows, he had eventually arrived at a conclusion. All jounins must be this weird...
"Mirror, Mirror on the wall..."
A pause.
"Ah... where's the Kyuubi?" Itachi absentmindedly asked.
Kakashi, Sasuke, and even Gai sweat-dropped.
"Err... Itachi," Kakashi beckoned to the Uchiha, "That's not what you were supposed to say..."
"What am I supposed to say?" Itachi impatiently asked.
Kakashi turned the pages of the book, read a few lines or so, then whispered something to Itachi.
"What!" Itachi exclaimed, "I'm supposed to say that!" Kakashi nodded. Itachi muttered a curse or two before finally giving in. "Fine."
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall," Itachi was in front of the mirror once again. He hesitated before continuing. "Who is the fairest of them all?" He ran a hand through his hair to add to the effect.
Sasuke started laughing. Itachi's sharingan started glowing. ." He glared at his brother. "Shut up, Otouto
"And everyday, the mirror would reply..."
Gai coughed. "You see Itachi, beauty is not at all vital to the development of one's individuality. The nature of beauty is not at all crucial, not like the essence of one's personality. Personality is what makes..."
"Just give him the answer, Gai, damn it." Kakashi snapped, as Gai's speech was making him sleepy once again.
"Yeah, fine." Gai glared at his rival. "It's not as if, you my rival, knew things about the essence of the good formation of the individuality and character of a person through..."
"Gai!"
"My lord, you are indeed the fairest in the land..."
"The Prince was always content with the mirror's answer, until one day, the answer was different."
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
And believe it or not, Itachi was actually getting the hang of it...
"Alas! The mirror replied..."
"Like what I said earlier," The face of Gai replied in a confident tone, "Beauty should not be considered as..."
Itachi absentmindedly threw a kunai at the mirror, purposely missing it by a mere inch. "Just give me the answer." He dully said.
"Youth these days, absolutely no respect for the elderly." Gai fretted, "My lord prince, you are indeed fair, but alas, the princess is indeed fairer than you..."
Itachi sort of panicked. "What!"
Sasuke smirked. Defeating his brother even just in looks was a big achievement. Not that he cared much about his looks, anyway...
"Now the princess was incredibly beautiful than ever, having reached the age of promises and dreams," Kakashi grinned underneath his face mask, "Sweet sixteen as they call it... With his, her, hell, whatever, dark hair, ebony eyes, smooth skin as white as snow, lips as..."
A glare from Sasuke... Trust his sensei to ruin everything...
"Anyway," Kakashi coughed, once more turning to the book, "The prince's hatred for the princess grew, mainly because of envy..."
It was Itachi's turn to glare at him this time. "How many times do I have to tell you that I do not envy Sasuke? I am not, and will never be envious of him! He's only a helpless weakling not worth my time!"
"What did you say?" Sasuke yelled, clenching his fist and activating his sharingan, his hatred towards his brother returning full time...
Itachi smirked evilly, his eyes glowing red. 'You want me to repeat it, Otouto? You're nothing but a helpless..."
Kakashi swallowed hard. Okay, time for him to do something. "So anyway, the prince's hatred for the princess grew, and I don't know why, so don't ask me." He said, eventually interrupting the two. "So one day the prince decided to kill the princess..."
Whew... Who knew that a narrator's job wasn't as easy as one, two, three?
"So the prince summoned the big bad wolf to do the job for him. He was the prince, after all..."
Itachi snapped his fingers.
Poof!
A confused Kiba and Akamaru appeared...
Kiba blinked. "Where the hell am I?" He paled as he saw the wolf skin he was wearing... Take note... the wolf skin he was only wearing... "Gah! Why the hell am I wearing this? Gah!"
Unluckily for him, the first person he saw when he looked up was Uchiha Sasuke...
Yep, that Uchiha Sasuke who was dressed in a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs...
Kiba blinked once more.
"Mwah haha!"
Sasuke definitely glared at him...
(He started his damn-speech again, and yep, it was Kiba who got the privilege to be in the first sentence this time.)
Kakashi, Itachi, and Gai rolled their eyes.
After several minutes...
Itachi smirked, "When you're finished drooling over my brother, or sister, hey, whatever..." Sasuke glared at him... "I got job for you to do..."
"I really...can't...believe...this..." Kiba muttered, between his laughs. "Uchiha... Sasuke... the... Great... Uchiha Sasuke...former...number one...rookie...was... wearing... a... dress!"
"Wait... till I... tell everyone... Mwah haha haha..."
Another death glare...
After several minutes, Kiba eventually calmed down. "Err... why are you wearing those?" He turned to look at Kakashi, who was wearing a tunic, to the mirror... Was that Gai-sama? To Itachi who was wearing a purple robe...
"On second thoughts, never mind. I don't want to know, right Akamaru?" Kiba raced on, before Kakashi could even open his mouth and proudly say, "I'm a god..."
"So anyway, Big bad wolf..." Itachi said, continuing the story...
"I have a name you know," Kiba scowled, "Kiba. If I'm a big bad wolf..." He picked up and cuddled Akamaru, "This is my accomplice, Akamaru." Akamaru barked.
"Fine. Whatever. I want you to bring the body of the princess to me... dead..."
"Why the hell should I do that? Who just the hell are you to order me?"
"I am Uchiha Itachi, that's why." Itachi coolly replied. Then he smirked.
"I'll tell you where you can find Red Riding Hood and dear Grandma..."
Silence. Kakashi, Sasuke, Kiba, and Gai just stared at the older Uchiha.
"Or I can tell you how to blow the brick house of the three little pigs so you can eat them..."
"What!" Kiba yelled, "What are you mental?"
"Ah Kiba," Kakashi said, "Just agree, that's how the story goes..."
Sasuke shook his head. Seriously, what the hell was with his brother today?
Kiba groaned. "Fine. So what do you want me to do, Uchiha Itachi?"
"Good question." Itachi thought for a while, "I want you to bring back the princess' heart in this box... On second thoughts... Just eat him alive..."
Sasuke watched in awe as his brother suggested the weirdest of ways to kill him
"Nah... just burn the princess in a stake... Poison him... Or prick his finger in a spindle... No, just bring the princess to a shop and buy him a couple of lovely gowns... or better still, bring him to a parlor and give him a makeover... Make him wear a bikini top..."
Sasuke turned white. Gowns? A makeover? Bikini top? Gah...
"Err, Sasuke," Kakashi said to his student, sort of sympathizing with him, "I guess you better run right now..."
With a nod, Sasuke bolted off.
"Make up your mind!" Kiba yelled, "Sasuke just ran away you know..."
"Wait, I'm still thinking..." Itachi impatiently replied, "Fine. Just bring the princess back to me... alive... I'll think a better way to torture him... Or I think I'll just kill him myself..."
Kiba and Akamaru left a still pondering Itachi, muttering something about a freak-who-started-suggested-weird-ways-then-decided-to-just-bring-back-the- target-alive.
What a complete waste of time...
Meanwhile...
Okay, under normal circumstances, Sasuke wouldn't run. He would have boldly faced his fashion-obsessed brother and the big bad wolf... But hey, forget his pride! He didn't want a new gown, a makeover, nor to wear to a bikini top! Any more, and he'll really be insane...
Damn. Sasuke cursed, as he ran as fast as he can, and as far as possible.
When will this nightmare ever end? What other "surprises" are in store for him in this story?
More interesting than Come Come Paradise... Yeah, right...