Thanks for the reviews folks – This story may very well be the death of me! Nevertheless, I am determined to see it through and I truly hope that my devoted fans will stick around for the ride!!

P.S: Reviews are always appreciated!

Now then, on with the story -

Lorelai had once more settled herself in the ballroom when she noticed a new and very familiar face had appeared on the scene. It was an annoying face, a rather homely face and certainly pathetic came to mind. Who else besides Kirk would fit this description– and where the dickens had he been up until this point? He had missed one hell of a show! Kirk was steadily approaching Lorelai and she unenthusiastically realized that she had missed her chance to escape – there just wasn't enough time damn it. Instead, Lorelai behaved rather maturely and stood up to greet her fellow Star's Hollowian (I assume that's what they're called as a society).

"Kirk, what a pleasant surpri…Oh God! Oh dear god – Kirk! You, you're…" Lorelai was completely flabbergasted.

"Yes Lorelai, I…"

Lorelai interrupted, "Kirk – you're not wearing any pants!" She could hardly contain herself. It would appear that she hadn't noticed his 'wardrobe malfunction' until now, nor had the other guests (fortunately).

"Well, yes that is true and…"

Again Kirk was cut off, "Kirk, where are your pants?!" Lorelai's volume had increased, so too had her heart rate. And now, to their horror, the quasi-conversation they were sharing and their choice of attire or lack there of, was beginning to draw a crowd.

In all this chaos there was one thing in favour of Kirk, that being his uncharacteristically lengthy dress shirt and its ability to cover most of his bottom half. And thank the lord for underwear – even if it was 'I love Lucy' print!

The crowd was growing, there was much turbulence in the air; guests were laughing, crying and exiting all at once. Lorelai, being the quick thinker that she was, hastily grabbed Kirk by the hand and escorted him far away from prying eyes. She led him into a dark and quiet corridor of the ship and attempted to regain her composure.

Kirk spoke first, "Lorelai," he began, "I didn't know what to do…I mean my mother usually helps me to dress and – well I wanted to look really great tonight, cause who knows – I might have met someone…"

Lorelai was desperately trying to keep a straight face. "Kirk, is there a point to this?"

Kirk continued, "I thought I should at least press my pants…and the iron…it burns – look what it did to me! I respect my mother now more than ever!" Kirk looked as though he were about to cry. The iron had barely left a mark on his palm.

Lorelai struggled to speak; the laughter was building inside her. "Kirk, where are your pants now? No, wait – where is the iron?" Most important matters first thought Lorelai.

Her question was met with confusion, "Well, I ran to the bathroom to immerse my hand in water. Mother always said 'cold water will cure whatever ails yah'…but I think I left my hand under the tap for too long because I started getting delirious – and my hand was numb, probably frostbite – and then I collapsed on the floor because the pain was all too much!"

Lorelai had officially lost it. Her laughter echoed throughout the dark hall. "Kirk," she could barely utter, "How about we go to your room and see about those pants, hmm?" She giggled some more. The word 'pants' would forever have new meaning to her.

Kirk agreed all too quickly, however as the two walked in the direction of his room, and hers for that matter (lest we forget their adjacent placing), he didn't resist the opportunity to point out Lorelai's audacity, "I'm so glad that you receive so much joy from my suffering."

"Kirk, you must admit, this story is a little bizarre, even for you!" she defended herself.

Kirk seemed to concur; yet his pace quickened. Finally they reached Promenade deck #7 and Kirk's humble dwelling. He entered first naturally; he had the key. Upon first inspection, Lorelai was amazed by how tidy the room was. With Kirk she expected complete bedlam.

Kirk stood noticeably back from the iron that lay on the floor in front of the bathroom. The water from the 'evil iron' had left a trail to the foot of his bed and was still hot to the touch Lorelai remarked as she placed it atop the board. So the iron had been found, but there was still the matter of Kirk's pants, and boy did Lorelai desperately yearn to find their whereabouts.

"Kirk, for the last time, where are your pants?" Lorelai was growing tired of the song and dance routine.

"Uh, I think I threw them under my bed at some point…" Lorelai didn't even question his logic on this one.

She quickly made her way to the bed, bent down and reached blindly underneath it. Victoriously she grasped what she thought were two objects, pants and something smooth, like a magazine…Slowly she removed the items from their hiding place and rose to her feet before completely observing them. The pants were on top and she threw those to Kirk as she allowed her eyes to drift to the second object.

Kirk screeched as he discovered the item that Lorelai possessed in her hands. He dove to retrieve his precious 'reading material' before he could be mocked for the 27th time that day, but he was merely a fraction too late…

Lorelai cringed in disgust upon viewing the latest copy of 'Bad Girls In The Nude' and threw the atrocity to the floor. "Kirk, what is this?!"

Kirk was incredibly embarrassed and yet defensive, "What? Even I have needs Lorelai!"

"Whatever Kirk. Let's just get these pants ironed and get the hell out of here before I have to burn my eyes!" There were no words to express the emotion Lorelai was feeling at that moment, no nice words at least.

Twenty painful minutes later the task was complete, Kirk was fully dressed and the tension had somewhat cleared from the air. The time was 11:45pm and Lorelai grinned in nervous anticipation of her planned meeting with Luke. She reached for the door handle, struggled with it and froze in disbelief.

Kirk thought nothing of her difficulty, "Here, allow me. This door can be kinda tricky sometimes." Kirk stretched his neck and shoulders in attempt to display his 'macho-quality' and approached the door. Kirk too struggled then began his impersonation of an FBI Agent; let's say 'Mulder'. In other words, he was slamming his body against the door, desperately trying to break its seal, but to no avail.

Lorelai was beside herself, Kirk was destroying himself and the two of them together were TRAPPED as the clock struck 12…

WOW, now how about that CLIFFHANGER eh? What's gonna happen next?

Gosh I just don't know if I can take it – the anticipation is killing me!! Soon my friends, soon…

Review with much passion and I shall write with even more passion!