Notes: I edited some things in this chapter... So, read on...
Naruto was never mine, got that?
"Flashback..."
Kakashi yawned. Until now, he still had not completely recovered from the speech treatment Gai had given him earlier...
Good thing he had to leave the castle and that noisy, and irritating mirror and go on with the story...
Any more of it, and he'll be sleeping the whole day...
Somebody had to lecture that waxed-bowl-head jounin about two-way conversations...
And for heaven's sake...
He had to find a way to cure this Gai-speech sleeping syndrome before it goes out of hand...
He wondered whether Gai was the answer to the prayers of all insomniacs...
"..."
Anyway...
"So Prince Itachi decided to kill Princess Sasuke, but the princess ran away just in time, so the prince sent the Big Bad Wolf after him, her, whatever..."
Now, speaking of Princess Sasuke, where the hell was he, she, whatever?
Sasuke tried to calm his erratic breathing. He was currently crouched on the tallest tree he could find, in what seemed to be a forest...
All he could remember was that he ran and ran, and ran again, and ran...
And the pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs didn't make that thing easier at all...
Only to find out that he was actually wearing high-heeled sandals...
Damn his brother...
Damn this miserable life...
He knew he had to get away from his weird-fashion-obsessed brother and that crazy big bad wolf... He didn't want to die in the most painful of ways... He didn't want a makeover, a new-gown, or a bikini top either... No, thank you...
They were hell of a lot worse than those rabid fan girls...
Seriously, what the hell was with them today?
So he ended up here...
Okay, he guessed he was really in a forest. There were a couple of trees here and there; a faint light coming from he-didn't-know-where, and the air was damp and humid...
Yep, he was definitely in a forest, all right...
So, what to do now?
He knew he was in an imminent danger as of the moment. He shouldn't be resting here, catching his breath, when he knew that there was a big bad wolf after him, especially since wolves were capable of smelling you a mile away.
But hey, he was only human... Uchiha Sasuke gets tired too, you know...
And the business between him and his brother... He knew that sooner or later, he had to face that fashion-obsessed side of his... Just thinking of those gowns his brother made him wear made him puke...
And this forest was giving him the creeps... He didn't know what sort of animal would just pounce on him and make him its dinner... He hated to admit it, but he was completely helpless at the moment...
Take note of this point in time, when Princess Sasuke admitted that he was completely helpless at the moment... It's history, It doesn't happen at all, you know...
Sasuke didn't want to think about the next character he would meet along the way, or the next surprise planned just for him... He'll just completely lose his mind if he did just that...
So, he knew that if he wanted to get out of this story alive and still sane, he had to think of a plan...
He had to end this story right away... The sooner, the better... But how? He didn't know what would happen... He didn't know what should happen... Only his sen-...
"Yo!"
"What the hell..."
To say that he was surprised and nearly fell out of the tree was an understatement... He was actually scared out of his wits by someone he didn't even feel approach him...
He hated surprises. Especially when a big bad wolf was after him, and he was having an extremely bad day.
Sasuke turned to glare at the silver-haired man who gave him a heart attack... well, almost...
"What the hell, Kakashi-sensei!"
Another point for the all-powerful Kakashi... Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, and once again, Kakashi had the honor of being in the first sentence...
Oh well...
Kakashi just grinned at his obviously irritated student, who was yelling and cursing like there was no tomorrow...
It seemed like Sasuke was really having a bad day, ne?
And who knew that the Uchiha prodigy could curse as good as his brother?
"Ne, Princess Sasuke, I think you should be happy to see me." Kakashi pouted, once Sasuke had calmed down a bit. He opened the book and started reading again.
Sasuke glared at his sensei once again. "Why the hell should I be happy to see you? You nearly gave me a heart attack surprising me like that, then..." He paused. "And don't even dare call me a princess!"
"You said something, Princess Sasuke?"
This is the point in time when Sasuke finally snapped, and started screaming his heart out, thoughts about the big bad wolf and his brother far from his mind. Very far from his mind...
"WHY YOU JERK! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME A PRINCESS! I AM NOT A PRINCESS! NOT A PRINCESS! AND WOULD YOU STOP READING THAT DAMN BOOK AND LOOK AT ME!"
A twig snapped.
"I suggest you lower your voice, Princess Sasuke." Kakashi chuckled, still not looking at him. "We don't want the big bad wolf finding the pretty princess, don't we?"
"Damn." Sasuke looked around, scanning the environment for the presence of Kiba and Akamaru. And damn... There they were. His chakra must have leaked out.
"Damn, where's that Uchiha? I want this over with. What am I doing here in the first place? I wasn't supposed to follow orders from that freak." Kiba turned to Akamaru. "You say you felt the princess here, Akamaru, then where was he?"
"Ne, Sasuke, I think you should give Kiba credits for calling you a "he", don't you think so?"
Sasuke turned and gave Kakashi the-all-so-famous-look that could only mean, shut up, sensei...
"Oh, so you're saying that Princess Sasuke is just on top of this tree? How interesting..."
Damn. He's been spotted. Sasuke lifted his skirt, and prepared to jump to the next tree.
"So Princess Sasuke was spotted by the big bad wolf while resting on the tallest tree he could find in the Enchanted Forest..."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm in an enchanted forest?"
Kakashi smirked. "You got that right, Sasuke."
"Hey, Sasuke!" Kiba yelled. Sasuke stopped running to listen to Kiba for a while. "I know you're there, and let's not make this harder for any of us. I'm tired of chasing you, Akamaru too, and I know you're tired of running. I don't know what the hell your freak brother wanted with you, but hey, I'm ordered to take you back. So just show yourself, and I'll take you back. That way would be easier for both of us."
Sasuke pondered on the offer for a while. Just show yourself? Hello? Did Kiba really lose his mind? He's talking to Uchiha Sasuke for heaven's sake... UCHIHA SASUKE... And if there's one thing Uchiha Sasuke didn't do, it's giving in without a fight. "How about, no?" He yelled back, before proceeding to jump to the next tree.
Kakashi sighed. Figures... Sasuke was damn too stubborn... Just like Naruto... But hey, it would be best if Sasuke just lower his pride and give in this time. Sooner or later, he would be caught and brought back to the castle. That was what was supposed to happen in the first place...
Sasuke could be very stupid sometimes...
Anyway...
Kiba scowled. "Fine, Uchiha, fine." What was he, a nanny chasing a stubborn brat? Aargh... how the hell did he get into this mess in the first place? That Naruto... He'll pay this time... "Akamaru, let's go..."
"So Princess Sasuke began to run again, after being found by the Big Bad Wolf..."
"I told you not to call me a prin- what the hell!"
"Only to end up being caught in a trap set specifically just for him, her, whatever..."
"Oh damn. Where the hell is my kunai?" Sasuke said, as he struggled furiously to get free.
"I don't think you can get free, Sasuke-kun." came a giggling voice.
Sasuke froze. That voice... Oh no, please, not them...
"That's right... Oh... Isn't he cute?"
Sasuke stared in horror as he saw two familiar girls approach him...
Two very familiar girls....
One blond, and the other pink-haired...
"Damn." Sasuke muttered before he completely passed out...
"So Princess Sasuke gets caught by Sakura, the Bad Fairy and Ino, the Wicked Witch of the West... The two girls happily carried poor princess Sasuke back to their cottage..."
Kakashi grinned, as he closed the book. "This really is getting interesting..."
The next morning...
A blinding light filled his vision, forcing poor dear Sasuke to open his eyes. He closed them once again. After a second or so, he opened them.
Where was he?
Sasuke sat up, and looked around. He was in a comfortable bed, still dressed in a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs (which, for the first time, was a good thing). The curtains had been drawn, causing a bright light to enter the room, that light that had annoyingly woke him up earlier. The walls were painted white, and the place smelled mainly of sweet cinnamon.
"Oh good thing, you're awake, Princess Sasuke."
Sasuke glanced at the direction of the voice. There on a chair just opposite the bed sat the silver-haired jounin, still wearing that tunic and that whatever-that-was tucked into his ear, and still reading that damn book.
"Where am I?"
He saw Kakashi close the book and then looked at him. Sasuke blinked. For the first time in his miserable life, his sensei was actually paying attention.
The same question... What the hell was with the world today?
"Oh, that." Kakashi grinned, "You're actually in the cottage of the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West."
Sasuke paled as the events of yesterday rushed back at him. The appearance of the fashion-obsessed freak side of Itachi, the Magic Mirror, the Big Bad wolf... The Enchanted Forest, then Sakura and Ino...
There goes thoughts that everything was just a nightmare...
And if he knew better, he was actually in trouble at the moment... What was it that they say about rabid fan girls? Oh yeah, the only creatures more dangerous than them are rabid dinosaurs. Hey, even Sasuke was scared of them...
Sasuke stood, plans of escape flooding his mind. He went to the only window in the room, to find it barred with iron bars. The door was locked as well. He growled.
Kakashi watched his student in amusement. "I guess they made triple sure you won't escape this time..." He received a glare in reply.
Sasuke immediately flopped himself back to bed when he heard footsteps coming his way. He then heard the door being unlocked, and Sakura appeared, wearing a black dress, a contrast to her pink hair. She was carrying a tray.
Sakura sweetly smiled at the person she oh-so-admired. "Good morning, Sasuke! I brought you some breakfast!" She placed the tray next to his bed. "How are you feeling?"
How am I feeling? You wanted to ask how I'm feeling? I've been here in this stupid fairy tale ever since yesterday, tortured by a crazy god, made fun by my fashion-obsessed freak brother, irritated by talking mirror, chased by a mad wolf, and then now, kidnapped by the two most dangerous creatures in earth, and you wanted to know how I'm feeling?
Oh, please...
Sasuke winced, and glared at Sakura. "I'm fine, Sakura."
Oh well, back to stoic mode...
Sakura smiled once again. She stared at Sasuke with those eyes, noticing the fact that the Uchiha do look kinda cute and sexy at the same time wearing that pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs... She wondered how the Uchiha would look... naked... Oh well, she blushed at the thought.
Sasuke then debated whether he would eat the rice balls and drink the tea she had brought him. "Just don't drink the tea, Sasuke." He heard his sensei mutter. Sasuke shrugged and proceeded to eat the rice balls...
In fairness, these rice balls are definitely delicious...
"Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing here?"
It was the first time Sakura had noticed the presence of the jounin. And well, she was in a state of ecstasy considering the fact that there was a beautiful angel in front of her and that angel was actually eating the rice balls and tea mixed with some potion made just for him...
"Why are you wearing that?" She stared at the tunic and the olive branch in morbid fascination.
Kakashi's face brightened up. "I'm a god!"
Sakura sweat dropped. "A god?"
Sasuke shook his head. Oh please, don't ask...
Just then, Ino, who was wearing a witch outfit, complete with the hat, barged into the room and hugged Sasuke. Sasuke choked, and tried to get free from Ino's grip, but damn, he didn't know that rabid fan girls could be this strong, especially when they're holding precious Sasuke.
"Ne, Sasuke-kun," Ino purred, "Did you miss me?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. "Get off me, Ino! Get off!"
Just then Ino was yanked away from him, by an obviously jealous Sakura.
"Why you, Ino-pig! How dare you hug my Sasuke!"
"Your Sasuke?" Ino laughed, "You mean my Sasuke, Sakura wide-forehead!"
"Ino-pig! He's not yours!! He's mine!"
"Ne, Sasuke." Ino once again inched closer to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You like me, don't you, Sasuke?"
Oh, hell... This is the part he'd been dreading for... "Get off me, Ino! Get off!" He pushed the girl away from him. "I don't like both of you and I don't belong to either of you, you got that?" He matched this with his oh- so-famous glare.
To his dismay however, the two girls merely smiled. Let's just say that these two girls were the only member of the rabid fan girls club that were actually immune to the Uchiha death glare...
Keyword... Get used to it...
"See, Ino-pig, he doesn't like you!"
"Shut up, Sakura, he doesn't like you either, because you have a wide forehead!"
"What did you say?"
"The truth hurts, right, Sakura? He likes me better than you!"
"Would you two shut up!" Sasuke yelled. Both girls stopped in an instant. "I'm going now, thanks for the breakfast, anyway."
Both girls looked at each other. Sakura smiled, which frightened Sasuke to end. "Not so fast, Sasuke, we got you now, do you think we'll let you escape again?"
"I'll let you go, Sasuke." Ino chirped. "In one condition, you'll be my boyfriend!"
Sasuke blinked. Uh-oh. He brought back what he had said earlier, that his fashion-obsessed-brother and that big bad wolf were hell a lot worse than these rabid fan girls. Recent events changed his mind, and allowed him to conclude one thing.
Rabid fan girls were the worst. Nothing and no one could beat them in that category.
A point each for Sakura and Ino, for being in the first sentence of the ever so popular Sasuke's damn-speech.
"Why you, Ino! You won't be Sasuke's girlfriend! Over my dead body! You hear me?" Sakura turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke, I'll let you go, if you promised to go out with a date with me."
Meanwhile, Kakashi just watched in amusement. The way those two girls were drooling over the Uchiha prodigy... And oh, look at poor Sasuke. He looked like he was ready to kill, just like yesterday, when Itachi had forced those outfits on him, and actually threatened him with a bikini top...
"..."
Oh well, time to continue the job of a narrator...
"So Princess Sasuke ended up being "harassed" by the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West."
Sasuke glared at his always pervert-minded-sensei. He then heard the door being forced open, and Kiba arrived, still wearing that wolf skin, with Akamaru at his side.
"And the Big Bad wolf and his accomplice arrived just in time to join the fun..."
"There you are, Princess Sasuke!" Kiba yelled, dragging the Uchiha with him, "You got me into enough trouble already, Princess, trying to find your ass ... I met three crazy bears already, not to mention seven dwarves, and that frog... I'm bringing you back to your brother, now!"
Only to end up being dragged back by Ino.
"Do you think I'll allow that?" Ino yelled at Kiba, as her grip on the Uchiha tightened.
Kiba scowled, not expecting a fight with these rabid fan girls. He had heard so many stories about these girls... Not at all good, considering the things they could do when it involved a certain Uchiha. But hey, he had a job to do. "Listen, woman." He got hold of Sasuke's other arm and dragged him. "I have a job to do, so let go, if you don't want to get hurt. Itachi would kill me if I didn't find him..."
"Let go of Sasuke, you two! You're hurting him!" Sakura wailed, and pushed Ino in the process.
End result: A tug of war, with poor Sasuke stuck in the middle. He was still confused with the turn of events, and still can't do anything.
"Several minutes later, the three had succumbed to a shouting match, and Sasuke was momentarily forgotten..."
"He's mine, you big bad wolf, don't you dare touch him!"
"I'm not interested with him, witch, I just have to bring him back to his brother!" Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Sasuke's not yours, you filthy witch! Stay away from him, wolf! He's mine!"
"Meanwhile, Princess Sasuke had enough sense left in him, her, to use the chance to escape. He, she, hell, whatever, bolted off at once."
"Oh, look." Kiba fidgeted. "This is all your fault." He glared at the two girls before following Princess Sasuke.
Ino and Sakura exchanged furious looks, before following Kiba. Ino summoned her magic broom, while Sakura waved her magic wand.
Kakashi by now was laughing his heart out. "Let's...picture out the... scene, shall we? Princess Sasuke... was running, followed by the Big Bad Wolf... closely followed by... the Wicked Witch of the West and... the Bad Fairy..."
"Really interesting..." He too got up, and followed them outside.
Prince Itachi, who finally thought of a way to torture his brother, was watching the events in his magic crystal. He got fed up, and followed the princess himself, muttering something about useless wolves that can't get a job done, and crazy rabid fan girls.
Meanwhile, the princess in question was running, and running once again. He didn't care where he was going. He knew he just have to get away from those crazy people as soon and as far as possible.
Sasuke barely had enough time to notice that there was a tiny figure floating beside him as he ran. He glanced side wards, and noticed that it was the miniature version of the Heir to the Hyuuga clan, dressed in light blue, holding a crystal magic wand. "Hinata? What are you doing here?"
"I'm...you're...fairy... god mother... Sasuke-kun." Hinata stuttered.
"Oh, I have one?" Sasuke sarcastically asked. He glanced back wards and noticed that Kiba was closing on him. "Listen, can you do something about those people chasing me?"
"Sure... Sasuke-kun." Hinata waved her wand and mist began to fill the air. In this case, it would be impossible for them to track the Uchiha.
Sasuke barely have enough time to thank Hinata when he heard a cold voice in midair. "Not so fast, Sasuke."
Itachi? Sasuke shivered as he activated his sharingan and scanned the surroundings for his brother. Oh great, with this mist, he couldn't...
He then heard Hinata scream.
Silence...
"Hinata?" Damn. The fog was thickening.
"Where are you, Aniki?" He asked in the calmest voice he could muster.
He then heard shurikens coming his way. He barely dodged them in time.
Silence.
Sasuke breathed hard, trying to calm his pounding heart. Where was the bastard? He then saw a set of kunais thrown at him. He avoided them too. He alerted his senses.
"Right behind you, Otouto." Sasuke barely registered his surprise when crimson eyes met his, and a fist came in contact with his stomach. He was knocked off unconscious.
"Now, be a good girl, Princess." Itachi smirked, as picked up the unconscious Sasuke and brought him back to the palace.
Sasuke woke up to find himself back in the palace. He was in bed, and still dressed in the pink, Chinese-collared dress, with slits that matched to his thighs (and for the second time, it was a good thing,). There was the magic mirror on his left, which was covered with cloth, with two kunais stabbed on its side. Itachi probably grew tired of listening to that waxed-bowl- head jounin...
Speaking of the devil, where was he?
"Nice to see you, Otouto." Itachi appeared, smirking at his brother.
"You bastard, what the hell did you do to me? Where's Hinata?" Sasuke yelled, activating his sharingan, and was preparing to attack Itachi, when the two chains that were tied around his hand held him back. "Bastard, let me go."
Itachi calmly sat at the side of the bed. "Ever the stubborn one, are we, Sasuke?"
Sasuke could not reply as he felt his energy leave him. He collapsed on the bed, and closed his eyes, as his head felt dizzy.
"Oh, I see the potion is starting to take effect on you..."
"Potion?" Sasuke asked wearily. He just had this urge to just fall into nothingness.
He saw his brother smile. "The potion I have the liberty of preparing just for my beloved brother when you were away..."
"You bastard."
"Don't blame me, Sasuke, that was what the book said..."
Itachi smiled once again. "I was just wondering, Otouto, if you knew what fairy tales have in common..."
What do fairy tales have in common? What kind of question is that?
He heard a chuckle from his brother. "I guess I'll have to answer that question for you, huh, Sasuke?"
Let's see... We have the damsel in distress here, she gets in trouble, the knight in shining armor appears, saves her from the wicked witch, and they live happily ever after... What else is common besides that?
"That's right, but there's one more thing." Itachi grinned, as if reading Sasuke's mind.
"All fairy tales...end... with... a... kiss, Otouto, didn't you notice that?"
A kiss?
No... way...
And as our dear princess Sasuke finally succumbed into a deep sleep, he couldn't help but wonder...
If he was the princess,
Then who was his charming prince?
"So Princess Sasuke fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that would last for a hundred years, until the prince, who was destined to save him, appears, overcomes all evil, and gives him a kiss, a one kiss of true love, and break the spell."
Kakashi grinned.
Poof
Next chapter: It's Naruto, finally... :j
Review...
Naruto was never mine, got that?
"Flashback..."
Kakashi yawned. Until now, he still had not completely recovered from the speech treatment Gai had given him earlier...
Good thing he had to leave the castle and that noisy, and irritating mirror and go on with the story...
Any more of it, and he'll be sleeping the whole day...
Somebody had to lecture that waxed-bowl-head jounin about two-way conversations...
And for heaven's sake...
He had to find a way to cure this Gai-speech sleeping syndrome before it goes out of hand...
He wondered whether Gai was the answer to the prayers of all insomniacs...
"..."
Anyway...
"So Prince Itachi decided to kill Princess Sasuke, but the princess ran away just in time, so the prince sent the Big Bad Wolf after him, her, whatever..."
Now, speaking of Princess Sasuke, where the hell was he, she, whatever?
Sasuke tried to calm his erratic breathing. He was currently crouched on the tallest tree he could find, in what seemed to be a forest...
All he could remember was that he ran and ran, and ran again, and ran...
And the pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs didn't make that thing easier at all...
Only to find out that he was actually wearing high-heeled sandals...
Damn his brother...
Damn this miserable life...
He knew he had to get away from his weird-fashion-obsessed brother and that crazy big bad wolf... He didn't want to die in the most painful of ways... He didn't want a makeover, a new-gown, or a bikini top either... No, thank you...
They were hell of a lot worse than those rabid fan girls...
Seriously, what the hell was with them today?
So he ended up here...
Okay, he guessed he was really in a forest. There were a couple of trees here and there; a faint light coming from he-didn't-know-where, and the air was damp and humid...
Yep, he was definitely in a forest, all right...
So, what to do now?
He knew he was in an imminent danger as of the moment. He shouldn't be resting here, catching his breath, when he knew that there was a big bad wolf after him, especially since wolves were capable of smelling you a mile away.
But hey, he was only human... Uchiha Sasuke gets tired too, you know...
And the business between him and his brother... He knew that sooner or later, he had to face that fashion-obsessed side of his... Just thinking of those gowns his brother made him wear made him puke...
And this forest was giving him the creeps... He didn't know what sort of animal would just pounce on him and make him its dinner... He hated to admit it, but he was completely helpless at the moment...
Take note of this point in time, when Princess Sasuke admitted that he was completely helpless at the moment... It's history, It doesn't happen at all, you know...
Sasuke didn't want to think about the next character he would meet along the way, or the next surprise planned just for him... He'll just completely lose his mind if he did just that...
So, he knew that if he wanted to get out of this story alive and still sane, he had to think of a plan...
He had to end this story right away... The sooner, the better... But how? He didn't know what would happen... He didn't know what should happen... Only his sen-...
"Yo!"
"What the hell..."
To say that he was surprised and nearly fell out of the tree was an understatement... He was actually scared out of his wits by someone he didn't even feel approach him...
He hated surprises. Especially when a big bad wolf was after him, and he was having an extremely bad day.
Sasuke turned to glare at the silver-haired man who gave him a heart attack... well, almost...
"What the hell, Kakashi-sensei!"
Another point for the all-powerful Kakashi... Sasuke once again started his damn-speech, and once again, Kakashi had the honor of being in the first sentence...
Oh well...
Kakashi just grinned at his obviously irritated student, who was yelling and cursing like there was no tomorrow...
It seemed like Sasuke was really having a bad day, ne?
And who knew that the Uchiha prodigy could curse as good as his brother?
"Ne, Princess Sasuke, I think you should be happy to see me." Kakashi pouted, once Sasuke had calmed down a bit. He opened the book and started reading again.
Sasuke glared at his sensei once again. "Why the hell should I be happy to see you? You nearly gave me a heart attack surprising me like that, then..." He paused. "And don't even dare call me a princess!"
"You said something, Princess Sasuke?"
This is the point in time when Sasuke finally snapped, and started screaming his heart out, thoughts about the big bad wolf and his brother far from his mind. Very far from his mind...
"WHY YOU JERK! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME A PRINCESS! I AM NOT A PRINCESS! NOT A PRINCESS! AND WOULD YOU STOP READING THAT DAMN BOOK AND LOOK AT ME!"
A twig snapped.
"I suggest you lower your voice, Princess Sasuke." Kakashi chuckled, still not looking at him. "We don't want the big bad wolf finding the pretty princess, don't we?"
"Damn." Sasuke looked around, scanning the environment for the presence of Kiba and Akamaru. And damn... There they were. His chakra must have leaked out.
"Damn, where's that Uchiha? I want this over with. What am I doing here in the first place? I wasn't supposed to follow orders from that freak." Kiba turned to Akamaru. "You say you felt the princess here, Akamaru, then where was he?"
"Ne, Sasuke, I think you should give Kiba credits for calling you a "he", don't you think so?"
Sasuke turned and gave Kakashi the-all-so-famous-look that could only mean, shut up, sensei...
"Oh, so you're saying that Princess Sasuke is just on top of this tree? How interesting..."
Damn. He's been spotted. Sasuke lifted his skirt, and prepared to jump to the next tree.
"So Princess Sasuke was spotted by the big bad wolf while resting on the tallest tree he could find in the Enchanted Forest..."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm in an enchanted forest?"
Kakashi smirked. "You got that right, Sasuke."
"Hey, Sasuke!" Kiba yelled. Sasuke stopped running to listen to Kiba for a while. "I know you're there, and let's not make this harder for any of us. I'm tired of chasing you, Akamaru too, and I know you're tired of running. I don't know what the hell your freak brother wanted with you, but hey, I'm ordered to take you back. So just show yourself, and I'll take you back. That way would be easier for both of us."
Sasuke pondered on the offer for a while. Just show yourself? Hello? Did Kiba really lose his mind? He's talking to Uchiha Sasuke for heaven's sake... UCHIHA SASUKE... And if there's one thing Uchiha Sasuke didn't do, it's giving in without a fight. "How about, no?" He yelled back, before proceeding to jump to the next tree.
Kakashi sighed. Figures... Sasuke was damn too stubborn... Just like Naruto... But hey, it would be best if Sasuke just lower his pride and give in this time. Sooner or later, he would be caught and brought back to the castle. That was what was supposed to happen in the first place...
Sasuke could be very stupid sometimes...
Anyway...
Kiba scowled. "Fine, Uchiha, fine." What was he, a nanny chasing a stubborn brat? Aargh... how the hell did he get into this mess in the first place? That Naruto... He'll pay this time... "Akamaru, let's go..."
"So Princess Sasuke began to run again, after being found by the Big Bad Wolf..."
"I told you not to call me a prin- what the hell!"
"Only to end up being caught in a trap set specifically just for him, her, whatever..."
"Oh damn. Where the hell is my kunai?" Sasuke said, as he struggled furiously to get free.
"I don't think you can get free, Sasuke-kun." came a giggling voice.
Sasuke froze. That voice... Oh no, please, not them...
"That's right... Oh... Isn't he cute?"
Sasuke stared in horror as he saw two familiar girls approach him...
Two very familiar girls....
One blond, and the other pink-haired...
"Damn." Sasuke muttered before he completely passed out...
"So Princess Sasuke gets caught by Sakura, the Bad Fairy and Ino, the Wicked Witch of the West... The two girls happily carried poor princess Sasuke back to their cottage..."
Kakashi grinned, as he closed the book. "This really is getting interesting..."
The next morning...
A blinding light filled his vision, forcing poor dear Sasuke to open his eyes. He closed them once again. After a second or so, he opened them.
Where was he?
Sasuke sat up, and looked around. He was in a comfortable bed, still dressed in a pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs (which, for the first time, was a good thing). The curtains had been drawn, causing a bright light to enter the room, that light that had annoyingly woke him up earlier. The walls were painted white, and the place smelled mainly of sweet cinnamon.
"Oh good thing, you're awake, Princess Sasuke."
Sasuke glanced at the direction of the voice. There on a chair just opposite the bed sat the silver-haired jounin, still wearing that tunic and that whatever-that-was tucked into his ear, and still reading that damn book.
"Where am I?"
He saw Kakashi close the book and then looked at him. Sasuke blinked. For the first time in his miserable life, his sensei was actually paying attention.
The same question... What the hell was with the world today?
"Oh, that." Kakashi grinned, "You're actually in the cottage of the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West."
Sasuke paled as the events of yesterday rushed back at him. The appearance of the fashion-obsessed freak side of Itachi, the Magic Mirror, the Big Bad wolf... The Enchanted Forest, then Sakura and Ino...
There goes thoughts that everything was just a nightmare...
And if he knew better, he was actually in trouble at the moment... What was it that they say about rabid fan girls? Oh yeah, the only creatures more dangerous than them are rabid dinosaurs. Hey, even Sasuke was scared of them...
Sasuke stood, plans of escape flooding his mind. He went to the only window in the room, to find it barred with iron bars. The door was locked as well. He growled.
Kakashi watched his student in amusement. "I guess they made triple sure you won't escape this time..." He received a glare in reply.
Sasuke immediately flopped himself back to bed when he heard footsteps coming his way. He then heard the door being unlocked, and Sakura appeared, wearing a black dress, a contrast to her pink hair. She was carrying a tray.
Sakura sweetly smiled at the person she oh-so-admired. "Good morning, Sasuke! I brought you some breakfast!" She placed the tray next to his bed. "How are you feeling?"
How am I feeling? You wanted to ask how I'm feeling? I've been here in this stupid fairy tale ever since yesterday, tortured by a crazy god, made fun by my fashion-obsessed freak brother, irritated by talking mirror, chased by a mad wolf, and then now, kidnapped by the two most dangerous creatures in earth, and you wanted to know how I'm feeling?
Oh, please...
Sasuke winced, and glared at Sakura. "I'm fine, Sakura."
Oh well, back to stoic mode...
Sakura smiled once again. She stared at Sasuke with those eyes, noticing the fact that the Uchiha do look kinda cute and sexy at the same time wearing that pink, Chinese-collared, sleeveless dress, with slits that reached to his thighs... She wondered how the Uchiha would look... naked... Oh well, she blushed at the thought.
Sasuke then debated whether he would eat the rice balls and drink the tea she had brought him. "Just don't drink the tea, Sasuke." He heard his sensei mutter. Sasuke shrugged and proceeded to eat the rice balls...
In fairness, these rice balls are definitely delicious...
"Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing here?"
It was the first time Sakura had noticed the presence of the jounin. And well, she was in a state of ecstasy considering the fact that there was a beautiful angel in front of her and that angel was actually eating the rice balls and tea mixed with some potion made just for him...
"Why are you wearing that?" She stared at the tunic and the olive branch in morbid fascination.
Kakashi's face brightened up. "I'm a god!"
Sakura sweat dropped. "A god?"
Sasuke shook his head. Oh please, don't ask...
Just then, Ino, who was wearing a witch outfit, complete with the hat, barged into the room and hugged Sasuke. Sasuke choked, and tried to get free from Ino's grip, but damn, he didn't know that rabid fan girls could be this strong, especially when they're holding precious Sasuke.
"Ne, Sasuke-kun," Ino purred, "Did you miss me?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. "Get off me, Ino! Get off!"
Just then Ino was yanked away from him, by an obviously jealous Sakura.
"Why you, Ino-pig! How dare you hug my Sasuke!"
"Your Sasuke?" Ino laughed, "You mean my Sasuke, Sakura wide-forehead!"
"Ino-pig! He's not yours!! He's mine!"
"Ne, Sasuke." Ino once again inched closer to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You like me, don't you, Sasuke?"
Oh, hell... This is the part he'd been dreading for... "Get off me, Ino! Get off!" He pushed the girl away from him. "I don't like both of you and I don't belong to either of you, you got that?" He matched this with his oh- so-famous glare.
To his dismay however, the two girls merely smiled. Let's just say that these two girls were the only member of the rabid fan girls club that were actually immune to the Uchiha death glare...
Keyword... Get used to it...
"See, Ino-pig, he doesn't like you!"
"Shut up, Sakura, he doesn't like you either, because you have a wide forehead!"
"What did you say?"
"The truth hurts, right, Sakura? He likes me better than you!"
"Would you two shut up!" Sasuke yelled. Both girls stopped in an instant. "I'm going now, thanks for the breakfast, anyway."
Both girls looked at each other. Sakura smiled, which frightened Sasuke to end. "Not so fast, Sasuke, we got you now, do you think we'll let you escape again?"
"I'll let you go, Sasuke." Ino chirped. "In one condition, you'll be my boyfriend!"
Sasuke blinked. Uh-oh. He brought back what he had said earlier, that his fashion-obsessed-brother and that big bad wolf were hell a lot worse than these rabid fan girls. Recent events changed his mind, and allowed him to conclude one thing.
Rabid fan girls were the worst. Nothing and no one could beat them in that category.
A point each for Sakura and Ino, for being in the first sentence of the ever so popular Sasuke's damn-speech.
"Why you, Ino! You won't be Sasuke's girlfriend! Over my dead body! You hear me?" Sakura turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke, I'll let you go, if you promised to go out with a date with me."
Meanwhile, Kakashi just watched in amusement. The way those two girls were drooling over the Uchiha prodigy... And oh, look at poor Sasuke. He looked like he was ready to kill, just like yesterday, when Itachi had forced those outfits on him, and actually threatened him with a bikini top...
"..."
Oh well, time to continue the job of a narrator...
"So Princess Sasuke ended up being "harassed" by the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West."
Sasuke glared at his always pervert-minded-sensei. He then heard the door being forced open, and Kiba arrived, still wearing that wolf skin, with Akamaru at his side.
"And the Big Bad wolf and his accomplice arrived just in time to join the fun..."
"There you are, Princess Sasuke!" Kiba yelled, dragging the Uchiha with him, "You got me into enough trouble already, Princess, trying to find your ass ... I met three crazy bears already, not to mention seven dwarves, and that frog... I'm bringing you back to your brother, now!"
Only to end up being dragged back by Ino.
"Do you think I'll allow that?" Ino yelled at Kiba, as her grip on the Uchiha tightened.
Kiba scowled, not expecting a fight with these rabid fan girls. He had heard so many stories about these girls... Not at all good, considering the things they could do when it involved a certain Uchiha. But hey, he had a job to do. "Listen, woman." He got hold of Sasuke's other arm and dragged him. "I have a job to do, so let go, if you don't want to get hurt. Itachi would kill me if I didn't find him..."
"Let go of Sasuke, you two! You're hurting him!" Sakura wailed, and pushed Ino in the process.
End result: A tug of war, with poor Sasuke stuck in the middle. He was still confused with the turn of events, and still can't do anything.
"Several minutes later, the three had succumbed to a shouting match, and Sasuke was momentarily forgotten..."
"He's mine, you big bad wolf, don't you dare touch him!"
"I'm not interested with him, witch, I just have to bring him back to his brother!" Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Sasuke's not yours, you filthy witch! Stay away from him, wolf! He's mine!"
"Meanwhile, Princess Sasuke had enough sense left in him, her, to use the chance to escape. He, she, hell, whatever, bolted off at once."
"Oh, look." Kiba fidgeted. "This is all your fault." He glared at the two girls before following Princess Sasuke.
Ino and Sakura exchanged furious looks, before following Kiba. Ino summoned her magic broom, while Sakura waved her magic wand.
Kakashi by now was laughing his heart out. "Let's...picture out the... scene, shall we? Princess Sasuke... was running, followed by the Big Bad Wolf... closely followed by... the Wicked Witch of the West and... the Bad Fairy..."
"Really interesting..." He too got up, and followed them outside.
Prince Itachi, who finally thought of a way to torture his brother, was watching the events in his magic crystal. He got fed up, and followed the princess himself, muttering something about useless wolves that can't get a job done, and crazy rabid fan girls.
Meanwhile, the princess in question was running, and running once again. He didn't care where he was going. He knew he just have to get away from those crazy people as soon and as far as possible.
Sasuke barely had enough time to notice that there was a tiny figure floating beside him as he ran. He glanced side wards, and noticed that it was the miniature version of the Heir to the Hyuuga clan, dressed in light blue, holding a crystal magic wand. "Hinata? What are you doing here?"
"I'm...you're...fairy... god mother... Sasuke-kun." Hinata stuttered.
"Oh, I have one?" Sasuke sarcastically asked. He glanced back wards and noticed that Kiba was closing on him. "Listen, can you do something about those people chasing me?"
"Sure... Sasuke-kun." Hinata waved her wand and mist began to fill the air. In this case, it would be impossible for them to track the Uchiha.
Sasuke barely have enough time to thank Hinata when he heard a cold voice in midair. "Not so fast, Sasuke."
Itachi? Sasuke shivered as he activated his sharingan and scanned the surroundings for his brother. Oh great, with this mist, he couldn't...
He then heard Hinata scream.
Silence...
"Hinata?" Damn. The fog was thickening.
"Where are you, Aniki?" He asked in the calmest voice he could muster.
He then heard shurikens coming his way. He barely dodged them in time.
Silence.
Sasuke breathed hard, trying to calm his pounding heart. Where was the bastard? He then saw a set of kunais thrown at him. He avoided them too. He alerted his senses.
"Right behind you, Otouto." Sasuke barely registered his surprise when crimson eyes met his, and a fist came in contact with his stomach. He was knocked off unconscious.
"Now, be a good girl, Princess." Itachi smirked, as picked up the unconscious Sasuke and brought him back to the palace.
Sasuke woke up to find himself back in the palace. He was in bed, and still dressed in the pink, Chinese-collared dress, with slits that matched to his thighs (and for the second time, it was a good thing,). There was the magic mirror on his left, which was covered with cloth, with two kunais stabbed on its side. Itachi probably grew tired of listening to that waxed-bowl- head jounin...
Speaking of the devil, where was he?
"Nice to see you, Otouto." Itachi appeared, smirking at his brother.
"You bastard, what the hell did you do to me? Where's Hinata?" Sasuke yelled, activating his sharingan, and was preparing to attack Itachi, when the two chains that were tied around his hand held him back. "Bastard, let me go."
Itachi calmly sat at the side of the bed. "Ever the stubborn one, are we, Sasuke?"
Sasuke could not reply as he felt his energy leave him. He collapsed on the bed, and closed his eyes, as his head felt dizzy.
"Oh, I see the potion is starting to take effect on you..."
"Potion?" Sasuke asked wearily. He just had this urge to just fall into nothingness.
He saw his brother smile. "The potion I have the liberty of preparing just for my beloved brother when you were away..."
"You bastard."
"Don't blame me, Sasuke, that was what the book said..."
Itachi smiled once again. "I was just wondering, Otouto, if you knew what fairy tales have in common..."
What do fairy tales have in common? What kind of question is that?
He heard a chuckle from his brother. "I guess I'll have to answer that question for you, huh, Sasuke?"
Let's see... We have the damsel in distress here, she gets in trouble, the knight in shining armor appears, saves her from the wicked witch, and they live happily ever after... What else is common besides that?
"That's right, but there's one more thing." Itachi grinned, as if reading Sasuke's mind.
"All fairy tales...end... with... a... kiss, Otouto, didn't you notice that?"
A kiss?
No... way...
And as our dear princess Sasuke finally succumbed into a deep sleep, he couldn't help but wonder...
If he was the princess,
Then who was his charming prince?
"So Princess Sasuke fell into a deep sleep, a sleep that would last for a hundred years, until the prince, who was destined to save him, appears, overcomes all evil, and gives him a kiss, a one kiss of true love, and break the spell."
Kakashi grinned.
Poof
Next chapter: It's Naruto, finally... :j
Review...