Disclaimers: Creator of the Harry Potter Universe equals J.K. Rowling; Eggo Waffles ≠ J.K. Rowling; Creator of the Harry Potter Universe ≠ Eggo Waffles.
Remus looked around the dusty drawing room of number 12, Grimmauld Place.
"Sirius? Where are you?" he called as he exited the room. "Sirius!" He rounded a bend and collided with Molly Weasley.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't think that anyone... I mean, I didn't see you..."
"It's quite alright," she replied, steadying herself. She glanced at him with a mixture of apprehension and sympathy. "Uh, Remus... who exactly were you calling for a moment ago?"
"Oh, I'm looking for Sir..." He stopped; Sirius was "dead." "I was looking for... my cat! Yes, my cat, named... Sira..."
"You don't have a cat, Remus."
"I don't?"
"No, Remus." She sighed. "Well, I'm glad you're here, anyway. Everyone's gathering in the kitchen; Dumbledore called an emergency Order meeting. I don't know what about, but Arthur said something about Muggles in the Ministry. He looked quite shaken up. Surprising, really... I'm surprised he came home at all, when there was a chance he might get to talk to one..."
"Uh, right! Well, I'll be there in a moment..." Molly nodded and descended the stairs. Remus waited until the sound of her footsteps faded, berating himself mentally; as soon as this whole affair was done with, he was going to sit down and write One-Hundred-And-One Believable Alibis For When One Is Caught Up In Sticky Situations (Especially When They Involve Criminals And People Who Happen To Be Dead, Or Were Until Recently).
He heard a slight noise from the linen cabinet behind him. Whipping around, he pulled out his wand and yanked open the door simultaneously. Sirius was standing behind a shelf of maroon towels, shaking with suppressed laughter. Remus rolled his eyes and cuffed him about the head. "Shut up."
"Ouch, Remmy," whined Sirius, massaging his scalp as he emerged from the closet.
"Did you just call me Remmy?"
"Um... no..."
"That's what I thought." Remus eyed Sirius appraisingly, who flashed a debonair smile.
"Your excuses are pathetic, Moony. I would think that being a Marauder would have improved your lying abilities... but then again, you were always hopeless at the lying..."
"At least I don't say something dramatic and Apparate at the first sign of trouble!"
"Oh, c'mon, that was worth it. Did you see the looks on their faces?"
"Yes. Arthur looked particularly shocked. And now Dumbledore has called an emergency Order meeting. Yes, Sirius," he added, eyeing his friend's sudden horrified expression. "The entire order is downstairs, very interested to hear about your sudden return from the dead."
"We've got to go now! Before someone comes up here!"
"Don't you think it might be better to spill now? The Order could be useful to us, and it would mean less sneaking around..."
"Remus, I want you to imagine what would happen if I went down there, told everyone that I had come back to life and was planning to toss some random Muggle through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries?"
Remus paused. "You're right. We'd better finish this on our own. Explanations can happen later. But we have to find Blask..."
"Cirian."
"Scott."
"Vanderdeiken."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"... in order to complete this unusual task. Where do you suppose they're holding him?"
"Azkaban?"
"They wouldn't put a Muggle in Azkaban, Sirius."
"Well, he could be anywhere. He could be at the Ministry, or some detainment facility, or one of the other hidden Wizarding buildings, or Diagon Alley, or a magaical house like this one, or they could have modified his memory and let him go already. He could be anywhere in London!"
"We need the Marauder's Map," muttered Sirius.
"That only shows Hogwarts, and anyway, Harry's got it."
Sirius's eyes lit up. "I have a brilliant plan!"
"Uh-oh, not another one..."
"This one actually makes sense. Do you have a map of London?"
Remus nodded thoughtfully. "I see where you're going with this. But we would need a map, and I don't have..."
"I have another idea! Watch this!" He crossed into the drawing room and threw open the window. "Give me your wand." Remus handed his wand over mutely, watching as Sirius pointed it outside and cried, "Accio Map!"
Molly, Arthur, and Tonks were already downstairs in the kitchen, waiting for the others. Mrs. Weasley had made tea, and everyone was sipping from steaming mugs and nibbling on Honeydukes's Chocolate Truffle Delight. There was a flapping sound from outside, and the three looked out the window in astonishment as several tons of paper flew along the street and collided with the side of the house with a loud flump.
Tonks and Molly sat for several minutes, staring out the window and blinking furiously. Arthur picked himself, muttered, "I need a nap. Badly," and stalked from the room.
"Okay, bad plan," grunted the lump of paper that was Sirius. "Will you help me?"
Remus waded across the room and dug his friend out of his papery tomb. "Brilliant, Sirius. You appear to have summoned all the maps in London. The Order won't notice anything, and the Muggles won't be at all perturbed that it just snowed paper all along Grimmauld Place!"
Peering outside, Remus saw that the street was clogged with numerous scruffy maps, all of which had tried to force their way through the window and, failing, fallen back onto the road. People were emerging from their houses, looking around in astonishment.
"Ha! Look! I've found a map of London!" cried Sirius triumphantly, emerging from a drift of maps. "It worked after all!"
"You. Are. Hopeless."
"Oh, come. The Muggles will come up with some crazy explanation. Ten thousand trucks filled with maps collided and a windstorm blew them all here. Bet you a million that's what they'll say."
"A million Galleons or a million maps?" said Remus sardonically.
There were sounds of footsteps on the landing.
"Buckbeak's room," said Sirius to Remus, and they both Apparated away from the scene of the crime as Order members entered the devastated drawing room to investigate.
"Hey, Beaky," said Sirius to the hippogriff, who gave a snort in greeting and allowed the ex-convict to pat his feathery head. "Well. Remus, do you remember the enchantments we used on the Marauder's Map?"
"Do I remember? Sirius, we spent five years developing that!"
"Just checking. We'll have to add the Ministry to this map, so that we can see that area as well. Then, the basic Animation and Identification charms, and the spell that James invented."
"You realize that this will take all night, and then some while we wait for the charm to set."
"Yes."
"We don't have that much time."
"We'll waste more time if we try to search every corner of London."
"Right. Well, let's get started."