Notes: Nay... Thanks for the reviews... And yeah... if you need something.... just email me... ... really sorry if I can't reply to your messages... really don't have the time... about the first chapter... leave your email in the review, and I'll try to email it to you... about the mistakes in my writing... I'll try to improve somehow... so... thanks for everything...
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Here's the next chapter... :)
What can I say... read on...
Mission failed!! Wah!!! I hate you, Sasuke!
Chapter Seven
Lessons 1, 2, 3...
"Hmm... Hmm... Hmm..." Naruto hummed, waving his arms to and fro. He eyed his sensei, who was jumping on every tree, nose stuck on a book... As usual... He grinned. "La... la.... la..."
"...."
"La... la... la... la..."
"..."
"La... la... la...la..."
"..."
Naruto rolled his eyes. Seemed like Kakashi-sensei had a pretty nice temper today. He opened his mouth to whistle once again...
A shuriken flew his way, and would have hit his mouth if he didn't move in time.
Lesson Number One: Never annoy a god at times like this...
"What was that for?" Naruto exclaimed, pointing a finger at Kakashi. He gasped. "You! You tried to kill me! So that you could have the princess for yourself and do mean things to her! You! I would sue you!" He paused for a moment. "I would sue you for attempted murder and future sexual harassment!"
Yeah... Whatever... The princess is yours, thank you... Kakashi blinked. Wait. Did the kitsune just say the words "sue", "sexual harassment", and "attempted murder" in one sentence? Oh, shit... This story must end soon! Damn it! Naruto was losing his mind! Yaay! He hurried on with the story...
"And so the prince began his perilous journey in search for his, well..."
"One and only true love!" Naruto supplied, raising his fist in the air. "Yes! I am so deeply and madly in love with the princess!"
What a heartwarming declaration... Kakashi coughed. ""And so the prince followed the golden brick road."
"Eh, Kakashi-sensei?"
"What now, brat?"
"How farther still do we have to walk this golden brick road?"
Naruto had the right to question that, however, Kakashi thought. They had been walking for seemed like hours now, following the golden brick road, and still nothing happened... Naruto questioned him... When you question, you think....
Damn it! Naruto was really losing his mind!!
Duh! What should he do! What should he do!
And so, minutes of silence passed between the two...
The older one, and supposed to be wiser one, contemplating on what the hell he should do to shake Naruto back to his dumb senses...
"Smack him? Nope... His head was already immune to that. Ask the witches to mix him some potion? Hmmm... Or Itachi for that matter... But that prince-turned-sorcerer could poison him... Nah, he won't do that... Hmmm.... That might actually work! I knew it! Ha! I'm a genius! The one and only god Kakashi!
And the younger one, confused as to what his sensei was doing, and wondering what the hell he should do to shake his sensei back to his abnormal senses...
Blink. "Eh, Kakashi-sensei?" Damn it. Did Kakashi-sensei black out on him or something?"
Blue eyes widened in horror when Naruto heard Kakashi laugh.
Oh shit. This is bad... Was Kakashi sick? With sudden mental retardation or something? Wait, was that possible... Maybe it was mental ability breakdown... Yeah, maybe that was it! Something connected with the god business... Omnipotence stress... But wait, hentai gods didn't just get sick! They were hentai gods! Duh!! Wah!! What was happening to his sensei?
Naruto then saw Kakashi-sensei shake his head, with a big cry of "No!" This frightened the blonde even more.
Wah! What should he do! Throw him a bucket or something! Wah!!
In short, both of them were wondering as to what they should do to bring each other back to each other's senses... Pretty confusing... Weird... Yeah, I knew... But, what can I say?
Lesson Number Two: Stick to your senses, how abnormal they may be...
Okay, to save some typing time and space, let us go to the part wherein Kakashi-sensei finally arrived at a logical conclusion that the best solution to the problem, though there wasn't any, was to just continue, and as much as possible, speed up the story...
Why?
It wasn't actually because of the fact that Naruto was slowly losing his mind, or because of the much-awaited ending.
Okay, the latter got some credits, after all, who wouldn't want to see both boys reaction, to, ehem, their predicament?
But hey, Kakashi-sensei, the supreme hentai god, missed his babies! Yep... Those cute, adorable, and pretty much educational (in a way, and in a hentai god's point of view, ehem, yes...) thingy books he used to cuddle every time he went to sleep! Duh! His babies! Kurenai had to be taking care of them or else... Wah!!! His babies! What will happen to them! Don't worry, babies! Daddy's coming!
"And so, the prince continued on with his journey, and upon walking underneath the light of the silvery moon..."
Huh?
"The prince met the Pied Piper of Hamelin."
Poof!
Shino appeared, holding the so-called-magic-flute in his hand...
"Shino!" Naruto exclaimed.
Shino rolled his eyes. "Hmmm."
"...."
"...."
"Hey, kid," Kakashi poked, "Say your lines!"
"...."
"...."
"Kid!"
"..."
"Hey, kid!"
"...."
"Eh, Kakashi-sensei?"
Here we go again with Naruto's adorable remarks... Let's hear what the blonde had to say, shall we?
"Was the Pied Piper of Hamelin supposed to be deaf, mute, or something?"
Lesson Number Three: Never open your mouth whenever a certain hentai god was slowly losing his mind over his certain babies...
Smack! Poor Naruto...
"Ouch! I was just asking!"
"I am the Pied Piper of Hamelin." Shino finally spoke.
"Hey! Did you hear that Kakashi-sensei? Shino spoke! He actually spoke!"
Smack!
"You, hentai god! You hit me twice! Child abuse! Wah!"
Kakashi ignored the blonde and instead turned to Shino. "Fine." He turned the pages of the book. "I'll read your lines for you!"
Impatience. No time to waste. His babies! He missed his babies! They might die of reading deficit syndrome!
Oh, well...
"But, Kakashi-sensei..."
"Shut up, Naruto!"
Kakashi turned once more to face the audience. "Now this Pied Piper was actually the opposite of the original one. You see, every time he plays his flute, wait, he doesn't really have to do that, various kinds of... err... bugs... come out of his body and scares the people away!"
Demonstration...
Kakashi blinked. "See what I mean? Now, now, off you go... Next!"
Poof!
"And so the prince continued on with his journey..."
"This is so boring." Naruto muttered. "I want some action!"
"The prince came across Jack who was traveling with his cow, and the Tin Girl..."
Poof!
Poof!
"Ta rah!" Lee appeared, dressed in peasant clothes, and Tenten, in metal clothes, holding an axe.
"I am Jack!!" Lee cheerfully said. "I wanted to sell a cow that jumped over the moon!"
"A cow that what?" Naruto repeated.
"Naruto!" Lee grinned. "A cow that jumped over the moon!"
Smack!
"Ignore him." Tenten said, shaking her head.
"..."
"..."
"Eh, Tenten," Kakashi interrupted, "Your lines..."
Tenten blushed. "I know! I know!"
"I'm looking for the Wizard of Oz..."
"The Wizard of Oz! Why?" Naruto asked.
"Because she wanted to have a heart!" Lee answered, chuckling. "Right Tenten?"
Smack!
"I told you, don't mind him, he lost his mind when I told him that I'll cut the beanstalk if he doesn't come with me..." Tenten immediately said.
"The beanstalk?" Naruto jumped to and fro. "Where is it? Where is it?"
"I'll tell you, if you tell me where the Wizard is." Tenten smirked.
"The wizard?" Naruto fidgeted. "Why with him? Wait... You wanted to have a heart? But why not go to Neji... He told me days ago he had your heart...."
Lesson Number Four: When in doubt, the best thing to do is just to shut up...
Smack!
Tenten was now beet red. Duh! Why was this dumb blonde so noisy?
Kakashi shook his head. Tenten and that Hyuuga kid? Wow, he never knew...
Lee shook Naruto's hand. "Wow, Naruto. Congratulations for making Tenten angry. Thanks for the blackmail!"
"Anytime." Naruto grinned.
"Tenten already cut the beanstalk earlier. Got frustrated over ending up here." Lee gave Naruto some beans. "Just drop it to the ground, blah, blah, blah, it grows, and of course, you'll have to climb it, and you'll end up in the Enchanted Forest."
"Thanks, Lee!"
"Good luck on the princess..." Lee said. I sure hope it's not Sakura...
"Yeah! Bye!" Naruto turned to Tenten and stuck out his tongue. "About the Wizard, and Neji, too, I knew you wanted to know..." He blinked. "I vanished them a couple of hours ago... You should have seen Neji's hair..."
"What!" Tenten screeched.
"Bye!"
Poof!
Poof!
"The prince cheerfully dropped two beans on the ground and the beanstalk grew so fast that the prince was amazed."
"I was not! Are you coming or not?"
And so, the hentai god and the prince started to climb the beanstalk and after a few hours, they reached the Enchanted Forest.
"Enchanted Forest?" Naruto asked after he read the sign. "What's so enchanted about it?"
Compare that to Sasuke's reaction. Wow...
Kakashi shook his head. He gave up with Naruto's musings long time ago. "Honestly speaking, I don't know."
Lesson Number Five: The safest way to answer is just to say you don't know...
"Wah!! What's that smell?" Naruto sniffed the air, "Sweet cinnamon!" He went towards that direction.
"Uh oh." Kakashi muttered as he followed Naruto. It's the two witches...
"Look, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto pointed. "It's a cottage."
"A cottage." Kakashi looked at the direction Naruto pointed at. It was the cottage of the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West all right.
The door opened and Sakura came out.
"Sakura!"
Sakura was disappointed to see Naruto. She thought it was Sasuke. Oh well... "Naruto? Sensei?"
"Hai!" Naruto grinned. "Sakura, could we come in for the moment? I'm starving!"
Sakura looked at Naruto then at her sensei. Oh well, teammates were teammates. "Sure, Come in." Sakura led them to the dining room.
After a preparation or two, Sakura placed cinnamon bread on the table and some tea. "I'm sorry, that's all I can offer."
"It's all right!" Naruto began eating. "This is good! I didn't know you could bake!"
Sakura smiled. "You could do anything in this fairy tale, dimwit."
Just watch out for some potions or something. "Where's Ino?" Kakashi asked.
"Ah, she went out to look for Sasuke..." Sakura nervously answered.
"The arrogant bastard was here?" Naruto asked this time.
"Don't call him an arrogant bastard, Naruto!" Sakura smacked Naruto's head.
Lesson Number Six: Never ever call Sasuke an arrogant bastard in front of the president of the Sasuke fans club. Why? Well, the consequences were self-explanatory.
"Yeah, he was here a couple of days ago. You don't by any chance, seen him?"
"Nope!" Naruto answered, after drinking some tea. "I only saw that lazy wiz, that fat egg, the genie, the piper, thick eyebrows, and that where's-my-heart-girl... Yeah, no sign of arrogant bastard."
Smack!
Lesson Number Six also applies to this situation. What can I say, Naruto never learns?
"Anyway." Sakura started to clean up the table. She smiled. "Now, what part are you playing Naruto?"
The best question ever asked by the smartest girl of the village...
Naruto grinned. "Sakura! I'm playing the part of the prince! Isn't that great?"
This, however, was the best answer ever given by the loudest ninja of the same village...
Crash!
All the plates and cups the dear Bad Fairy was holding lay shattered on the floor...
Sakura paled. "You...are...the...prince?" She turned to her sensei. "He's the prince?"
Kakashi merely shrugged. "Well, yeah..."
Lesson Number Seven: Life indeed was full of surprises.
"And you know what, Sakura?" Naruto beamed. "I'll rescue her, and I'll kiss her!!!"
Sakura remained frozen on the spot. Kiss? Uh-oh.
Okay, prepare yourself, for the dramatic monologue the Bad Fairy would give.
Sounds...
One...
Two...
Three...
Action!
The Bad Fairy looked at Naruto, then turned to look at her sensei. She rolled her eyes.
Thud!!
"Eh, Sakura?" Naruto panicked and poked the body of a fainted Sakura on the floor. "Did I say something?"
"Excellent acting, Sakura. Very realistic." Kakashi clapped his hands, snickering. "Though our audience would have to excuse her for forgetting her lines." He turned to Naruto. "Yeah, there was something you said... Never mind..."
Right... Sakura was supposed to say... Complete with facial expressions...
"What!" She would mutter, supposed to lose her courage to speak. "How could you be the prince? No, no... How could you be the prince?" She would kneel, beaten on the floor.
Then she was supposed to faint...
Okay, never mind. Just picture it out.
Just the exact moment for the Wicked Witch of the West to enter the scene...
"Sakura!" The Wicked Witch of the West turned to point an accusing finger at Naruto. "What did you do? Did you make her eat the poisoned apple?"
Poisoned apple?
"No!" The blonde defensively replied. "She asked me what role I was playing then I just answered that I was playing the role of the prince! What's wrong with that?"
The Wicked Witch of the West gasped. "You are the prince! No! No!"
Thud!
Lesson Number Seven also applies...
Another award winning performance...
Kakashi blinked. "So that was the story of how the prince beat the Bad Fairy and the Wicked Witch of the West... The end..."
Of the chapter folks...
Next update... The Big Bad Wolf, The Fairy, the Sword in the Stone, and The Sorcerer...
And of course... the revealing chapter...