A/N. Hi all. This gonna be kind of weird as I've never really written a
credible story, so please be nice when you review. Anyway, I decided to
have a wee bit of fun with all the Harry Potter Characters. (saw the third
movie last night and got inspired). I know there was all that stuff with
Cho or what ever she's called, but never mind, lets just ignore that and
pretend it didn't happen shall we?
Disclaimer – I don't own any of this stuff OK? Actually, I might invent one or two characters along the way, but that's beside the point. Anyway, shall I stop talking (or typing, if you're going to be pedantic) and get on with it, yay or nay! (That's where you all shout 'yay') (That bit was sort of Robin Hood, Men In Tights inspired).
Chapter one – The Summer Holidays
Harry was bored and extremely pissed off. It was the last week of the holidays and no one had written to him or made any other effort to contact him. He decided to give everyone who he had expected to write a big lecture on looking after their friends when he got back to school. Smiling to himself, he sat down to plan what he was going to say.
It took eleven drafts to get the start of something that sounded even vaguely OK. The first draft ran (A/N. hang on, paper can't run) along the lines of "It's nice to know I have friends". That sounded crap and pretty out of context. Next draft. "Incase anyone's interested, my holidays were crap." Not much better. He'd have to keep trying. By the time he got to draft number eleven, he was up to "You should look after your friends much better you know. I spent the whole holidays sitting at home with no idea what was happening and do any of you care? No, I didn't think so." Just then uncle Vernon bellowed up the stairs "Boy, come and clean out the spouting, it's full of leaves and we're not sending our Dudders up a ladder, so you can bloody well do it." The mental image of Dudley up a ladder just about made Harry fall out the window with mirth. He made sure his picture of Steve Conner (Jesus that guy was hot stuff) (A/N. That's the first of my invented characters) was firmly in his pocket and headed down stairs.
Two days later a package arrived. It was from the Weasleys. The note said "Dear Harry, we took the liberty of getting some money out of your Gringotts vault (A/N. just forget all that stuff about keys, you know have passwords for Gringotts and Harry's was glaringly obvious, Quidditch) and buying your new school books for you as we weren't sure if you would ,make it to Diagon Alley. I've also put some flu powder in with the books so that you have a way to get to Kings Cross. See you there dear, much love Mrs. Weasley." So Ron hadn't even had the decency to send it himself. Harry had to admit that Seamus had a point, Ron was kind of cute, but not as god damn sexy as Steve, and anyway, who thinks about their best friend in that way?
The last four days of the holidays dragged, but finally it was the first of September. Harry packed down his stuff into his trunk and dragged it down stairs, along with Hedwig's cage. He went in to the lounge and started to take the boards off the front of the fireplace. Uncle Vernon came in when he was halfway through the job. "What the devil are you doing boy?" "What does if look like you great purple lump?" "Destroying my ruddy house is what it looks like." "Bingo." Harry carried on with what he was doing. When he had all the boards in a pile on the floor, he used his wand to start a small fire in the grate, threw in the floo powder, climbed in with his trunk and owl cage and shouted "Kings Cross Station!" As he went, he caught a glimpse of uncle Vernon's face, which made him grin from ear to ear. He got a large mouthful of soot for his troubles. A couple a minutes later he tumbled onto platform nine and three quarters. (A/N. Yes, there is a fire place in the train station)
Well? How was it? I thought it was kind of crap really but never mind. Just incase you haven't figured out what I've done, I've made all the characters gay. Yes Shel, even Malfoy. Please review. If you don't, I'll...I'll...Well I'll figure out what I'll do later.;)
Disclaimer – I don't own any of this stuff OK? Actually, I might invent one or two characters along the way, but that's beside the point. Anyway, shall I stop talking (or typing, if you're going to be pedantic) and get on with it, yay or nay! (That's where you all shout 'yay') (That bit was sort of Robin Hood, Men In Tights inspired).
Chapter one – The Summer Holidays
Harry was bored and extremely pissed off. It was the last week of the holidays and no one had written to him or made any other effort to contact him. He decided to give everyone who he had expected to write a big lecture on looking after their friends when he got back to school. Smiling to himself, he sat down to plan what he was going to say.
It took eleven drafts to get the start of something that sounded even vaguely OK. The first draft ran (A/N. hang on, paper can't run) along the lines of "It's nice to know I have friends". That sounded crap and pretty out of context. Next draft. "Incase anyone's interested, my holidays were crap." Not much better. He'd have to keep trying. By the time he got to draft number eleven, he was up to "You should look after your friends much better you know. I spent the whole holidays sitting at home with no idea what was happening and do any of you care? No, I didn't think so." Just then uncle Vernon bellowed up the stairs "Boy, come and clean out the spouting, it's full of leaves and we're not sending our Dudders up a ladder, so you can bloody well do it." The mental image of Dudley up a ladder just about made Harry fall out the window with mirth. He made sure his picture of Steve Conner (Jesus that guy was hot stuff) (A/N. That's the first of my invented characters) was firmly in his pocket and headed down stairs.
Two days later a package arrived. It was from the Weasleys. The note said "Dear Harry, we took the liberty of getting some money out of your Gringotts vault (A/N. just forget all that stuff about keys, you know have passwords for Gringotts and Harry's was glaringly obvious, Quidditch) and buying your new school books for you as we weren't sure if you would ,make it to Diagon Alley. I've also put some flu powder in with the books so that you have a way to get to Kings Cross. See you there dear, much love Mrs. Weasley." So Ron hadn't even had the decency to send it himself. Harry had to admit that Seamus had a point, Ron was kind of cute, but not as god damn sexy as Steve, and anyway, who thinks about their best friend in that way?
The last four days of the holidays dragged, but finally it was the first of September. Harry packed down his stuff into his trunk and dragged it down stairs, along with Hedwig's cage. He went in to the lounge and started to take the boards off the front of the fireplace. Uncle Vernon came in when he was halfway through the job. "What the devil are you doing boy?" "What does if look like you great purple lump?" "Destroying my ruddy house is what it looks like." "Bingo." Harry carried on with what he was doing. When he had all the boards in a pile on the floor, he used his wand to start a small fire in the grate, threw in the floo powder, climbed in with his trunk and owl cage and shouted "Kings Cross Station!" As he went, he caught a glimpse of uncle Vernon's face, which made him grin from ear to ear. He got a large mouthful of soot for his troubles. A couple a minutes later he tumbled onto platform nine and three quarters. (A/N. Yes, there is a fire place in the train station)
Well? How was it? I thought it was kind of crap really but never mind. Just incase you haven't figured out what I've done, I've made all the characters gay. Yes Shel, even Malfoy. Please review. If you don't, I'll...I'll...Well I'll figure out what I'll do later.;)