Chapter 2: The Snoops
Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin at all. Except the plot of course it is mine so don't take it.
"Harry I need you to distract Snape while Ron and I go through his office" said Hermione quickly.
"How exactly am I going to do that huh?" Harry said smartly.
"I dunno you're meant to be the smart one. All we need you to do is buy us about an hour. Can you do that?" said Hermione.
"I spose I could, hey I just had an idea. There is one person Snape's forgotten" he said dramatically.
"Who" said Ron and Hermione together.
"peeves" said Harry while chuckling.
"I think I see what Harry's getting at" said Hermione quietly.
"hello, can someone here fill me in?" said Ron with a dumfounded look on his face.
"I'm going to get peeves to do something really bad which will take Snape at least half and hour to an hour to clean up" said Harry quickly.
"Harry that's an awesome idea. But just one problem, what are you going to get him to do?" said Hermione.
"You'll see just go and get ready and you'll know when its time" he said devilishly.
"Alright we'll see you later" they said together.
"Harry you look after yourself okay" said Hermione quietly and then she kissed him on the cheek.
Harry blushed.
"Thanks Hermione, you watch yourselves as well okay" said Harry.
So they went on their separate ways to get the job done.
Peeve's was on the 7th floor hiding in a suit of armour.
"Peeves are you there?" Harry said quietly.
"What would Mr Potty want" he cackled.
"I need you to create a diversion. Would you be able to get some Gillyweed and put it around some sushi"-
"What's sushi" peeves interrupted.
"Fish stuff, just go down to the house elves and ask them to make you some sushi with the Gillyweed instead of seaweed, got it?"
"Go to kitchens, get house elves to make sushi or whatever it is, use Gillyweed instead of fish, wait, no seaweed. I shall do this for you Mr Potter" said peeves.
"Thanks peeves you're a lifesaver" Harry said quickly.
So Harry went back to Ron and Hermione and found them sitting talking quietly.
"Guys it'll all be set into motion soon. I've gotten peeves to get some Gillyweed and make sushi with it" he said with an evil grin on his face.
"Sounds like an awesome plan Harry" said Ron, chuckling.
"So you plan to make Snape have to go to the lake to breathe? Do you Harry?" asked Hermione.
"Yes he should be in the lake for about 1 hour so that should be plenty of time do you think?" said Harry.
"Yeah that should be plenty of time Harry, but we'll need you to stand watch over his office and when he's coming just sneeze and we'll know okay?" said Hermione.
"Yeah that should be fine, now I'll just go and see how peeve's is going at the sushi!" said Harry.
So off he went to find peeves and see how he was going with the sushi. He went to the kitchens and found peeves waiting patiently, for once, outside the door.
"How are they going peeves?" Harry asked cautiously.
"Very good, in fact so good that I fed the sushi to Snape about 15 minutes ago" said peeves oily.
"Oh fucking hell. Peeves you shit fucker you were meant to come and tell me when you were finished" yelled Harry.
"Well I didn't know where you were so how could I sir and I don't fuck shit you dick face" said peeves coldly.
"Sorry peeves but I've gotta go I'll talk to you later okay" said Harry quickly.
"Bye then" said peeves.
So Harry ran as fast as he could back to Ron and Hermione only to find them pashing.
"Fucking hell now's not the fucking time for that. Peeves has already fed Snape the fucking Gillyweed so you've only got 40 fucking minutes so get in there and do you're fucking job" he yelled at them.
"Calm down Harry we're going already" said Ron.
So in they went and Harry was left to calm down and think.
"Shit I cant believe she like Ron after all we've been through. I really like her but oh well what can I do I mean she has obviously made her decision and he's happy with it. Everybody wins except for me of course."
Then something interrupted his thought. Footsteps.
"AAAA-CHOOOO" he sneezed loudly.
"Shit" came the voice from Snape's office.
As Snape came around the corner dripping wet Harry retreated into the corner.
"Stupid fucking sushi, never having it again" Snape was muttering as he went into his office.
"Gotta think quick" thought Harry quietly.
He got up and knocked on Snape's door.
"Come in" Snape said greasily.
"What do you want potter?" he said.
"Well sir I need you to have a look at the toilets it looks like there maybe a leak in the taps and I've been told that you are the only one that can fix it" he said, throwing as much fake admiration as he could into his voice without throwing up.
"Very well I shall have a look at it. But only quickly because I have other business to attend to" he said sternly.
"Yes sir once you have looked at it I'll just go back to the common room" Harry said loudly so they would get the point.
"Well lead the way potter" Snape said greasily.
So Harry led Snape out of the office. After they had gone two shadows slipped out of the office and headed in the direction of the common room.
"Well potter where is this leak?" Snape questioned.
"It was just over there coming from the tap that's furthest away from us" said Harry.
"Well there's no leak here potter are you sure there ever was one?" Snape said. He was starting to lose his patience.
"It looks like someone has fixed it sir" said Harry trying extremely hard not to burst out laughing at Snape's frustration.
"Next time just fix it yourself I am an extremely busy person potter and I can't afford to be interrupted with stupid fucking things like this, do you understand?" he yelled.
"Yes sir" said Harry quietly.
"Go back to your common room and don't let me see your face for the rest of the day" Snape said oily.
"Yes sir" said Harry and with that he left and ran back to the common room to find out what they had found.
When he got there the first thing that he saw was them pashing again.
"Shall I come back when you're not busy?" he said viciously.
"Sorry Harry we're finished now" said Hermione timidly.
"Sure you're not going to try and suck off his face while you are fucking telling me what you found out?" he said angrily.
"Sorry Harry mate" said Ron quietly.
"Shut the fuck up?" he said angrily.
"Okay sorry Harry" said Ron very quietly.
"What did you fucking well find out or were you too busy choking each other too look?" he said.
"No Harry look this is what we found out………" said Hermione.
A/N: thought I'd leave you in suspense new chappie soon plz R&R.