Tossing and turning, swapping from one side to another. Sweat trickled down her long torso, her body shivered and singlet clung to her skin. She was tangled in the sheets; much like her life had been tangled these past few weeks. She muttered and mumbled wrestling in her sleep…as vivid images whirled through her head, dragging her through an emotional rollercoaster of recent events. It wasn't like her to loose sleep and be haunted by things, she always showed the front of a tough independent woman. One that know one or nothing could ruffle or unsettle, as she felt that acting otherwise could show signs of weakness, ones which she refused to show anyone. Claire Mcleod jolted up in bed. It had been a hot balmy night she had been caught up in dreaming about her miscarriage and the child she had lost. Perhaps it was supposed to be that way..she didn't love Peter, it wouldn't have been fair to her child…but it still wasn't fair on her. Oh Roy…boy I think Im going crazy. As she wiped a tear from her eye in an attempt to quickly recover the madness. Roy nudged his owner as if to reassure her that she would be fine. She looked over at the clock. "Ohh Bugger….I must have slept in, this is not something im gunna get used to". As she pushed her canine friend off the bed and darted fore her clothes, left thrown upon the lounge from the previous day. In her head Claire knew she wasn't one to lie around, but today it felt like an effort to drag her corpse out of bed. Was there any reason to get up anymore? Her heart ached and every bone in her body felt like it had been shattered . She thought about the child she lost and the one she never knew….as she pulled on her boots and brushed the stray hairs from her face. Looking in the mirror Claire could see a change in herself. Her eyes appeared hollow with dark halos around them. Any spark that had once shone in them had now vanished…"So I look a bit bedraggled". …As she swung open the door the sunlight pierced her eyes. "Come on mate, before the days over". Roy pattered behind her staying close to his weary companion. She spotted Tess in the veggie patch behind the house. "G'day".

"Hey there..did you sleep a bit better last night". As she embraced her sister in a warm hug.

"Nah you know….as she trailed off pulling away from her sister trying to avoid that concerned and worried look Tesses eyes reflected.. " So what you up to in here anyway Tess?".

"Umm just about to round up the mob in the north paddock, some fences are down and I've still got my last requirement to meet before organic certification can happen".

Tess just wished Claire would let her in and help her through this . Claire was shutting everyone out and was beginning to isolate herself from everyone. Where had her sister gone?

"Hey have you had breakfast yet?"

"Ohh I'll be right…I've wasted enough of everyone's time already this morning, I better get cracking."

Tess could see that Claire was becoming paler and skinnier as the days went by..it was like she was punishing herself for what had happened. Tess shrugged she knew better than to argue with Claire just when she woke up …but was determined to get through to Claire one way or another before the day was through.. "Well suit yourself, but you'll feel weak later on…..by the way Alex will be round in a few minutes. He was gunna give us a hand with the mob. Would you mind if you two just did it together so I can get on with some of my organics stuff".

"No worries" Claire said tentively

Tess knew that ever since the miscarriage Claire had been avoiding Alex…probably because she knew he was worried about her….a trait she hated.

Claire could hear a roar in the driveway and knew it could only be the sound of Alex's UTE. She tried to blend into her surroundings, pretending to ignore him.

"Gday Mcleod"

"Righto Alex I'll let you and Claire get on with it, I've got some stuff to do" As she winked at him…hoping just maybe he could weave some magic.

"Sure". Looking at Claire Alex could see he was in for a long day.

Claire cast her glance towards rough gravel road in an attempt to avoid Alex's eye contact, shifting her balance from one foot to another.

"Well McLeod betta saddle up and get cracking. I'll meet you at the back gate". He could tell that she had changed both physically and mentally. Claire lead Sirocco to tha back gate as he snorted and pranced, excited to be out in the fresh air. When she got there Alex was already in the saddle waiting, however he knew better today than to hurl a smart remark at her. "Ready to goMcleod" he said casually, hoping to break the silence and will his old mate back .Claire sighed as she began to hoist herself into the saddle…suddenly a wave of dizziness hit her… as her head started to spin and everything went blurry. Alex furrowed his brow, as he saw a dazed look cross friend face. "Oi Claire you k". He got no reply. Her grip on the saddle horn began to slip, and her knuckles weakened. Alex quickly dismounted his horse and rushed to her aid. He gently grabbed her waist and carefully eased her down into his arms, so as not to alarm her in this semi conscious state. It took a few seconds for her to regain her composure…but when she did she swatted Alex away like a pesky fly. "Get you hands of me Alex Ryan, what do ya think ur doin!"

"Cummon Claire give us a break im only tryna help…your as skinny as rake". Claire mustered all her energy in getting up, as she twirled around and awkwardly mounted her horse. Claire didn't dare look in Alex's direction but rather booted Sirocco and took off with the wind. Claire felt like a feather on her horse, fighting against the wind as she floated not knowing where she was going, or what she was doing. Alex couldn't believe his eyes. What had gotten into her…when she was in his arms for that short period of time she didn't seem like a tough flighty woman that lived off the land, but rather a fragile, delicate porcelain doll, if squeezed to hard would snap in an instant. He wasn't quite sure what to do… but knew however that the well being of his mate far overruled the importance of some petty chores that had to be done at some point in time He was really worried about her and knew that others around the place mirrored his feelings. Alex mounted Topside and gazed across the land, looking for any sign of Siroccos presence. He knew that in Claire's current state of mind she was capable of doing anything …and that's what concerned him most.

Claire felt free …alone..hurt and significant… but she was free! Galloping over the rolling pastures, the scenery just flew by. Claire saw nothing else but the sky, immersing herself in the pure rush produced by her horses speed. Sirocco sweated profusely as he pelted down the steep and precarious hill neighboring Thompsons Road. Although Claire was physically on a horse here and now, her mind was elsewhere… as it spun around like discarded bottle top. Sirocco was sensitive to every signal, touch and shift in balance his rider gave. Of course how was he to know his rider was elsewhere. Claire didn't see the barbed wire fence at the far end of the hill until it was too late. She was unable to draw Sirocco up quick enough…. but was not panicked or scared, but rather refreshed. Maybe this would be her escape….Sirocco spooked… and Claire was thrown like a rag doll over her horses head. She lay tangled up in the cold, sharp wire fence like a prisoner in her own life .

Hey guyz I would love to hear what you all think pleaz!

There is still more coming!