Title: Rainbows
Author: Jo. R
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Suspicion, Home
Category: AU, Angst, action/adventure, drama, Sheppard/Teyla Established (mild), Sheppard/Weir UST/Friendship, Teyla/Ford UST/Friendship
Summary: Post-ep Home (AU): After the events of home, the team evaluate their place on Atlantis and their relationships with one another.
Dedication: Fairygnomes, for somehow convincing me not to give up on this writing/posting thing for now hugs
There were a lot of things she missed about Earth, and a lot of things she didn't. Doctor Elizabeth Weir stood away from the group of happy people socialising behind her and looked out across the unblemished stretch of ocean before her.
She missed the beach, although she lived out in the middle of the ocean. She hadn't been across to the mainland so didn't know how the beaches compared with those she'd left behind and part of her didn't want to know. Didn't want to be disappointed in case they were nothing alike. Besides, she didn't think she'd be welcomed on the mainland anyway. Although the Athosians who'd joined them on Atlantis that evening had been perfectly respectful, treating her as politely as she suspected they always treated their host or hostess, she had yet to have an actual conversation with one of them. Not a real conversation, anyway.
That was part of the reason she'd escaped to the balcony, for some time to herself to reflect on her life as it currently stood.
She missed white wine. Real good quality white wine. What she wouldn't give for a glass of the sparkling liquid in her hand… She signed mournfully. Maybe make that a bottle. A big bottle she could keep all to herself. Maybe then the tension in her shoulders would ease and the dull ache in her chest would fade.
Homesick. Who would have thought the great Doctor Weir, traveller extraordinaire, could get homesick? Certainly no one with her. Not one of them, McKay, Sheppard, Ford, Teyla or Beckett had noticed her withdrawing further into herself in the days that had passed since…
… Since they'd been tricked into thinking they were home. Since she'd 'seen' Simon and kissed him and realised with a jolt that although there was something missing in his kiss, a spark that she admitted had been gone for years, she still missed him.
She missed the familiarity of his embrace, the comfort she derived from being in his arms. She missed curling up in her chair outside, absentmindedly petting the dog, half-listening to Simon tell her all about his day or something he'd heard on the radio in the car on his way home.
She missed the rare nights when she was home and he wasn't. When she could choose what she watched on TV – a feel-good romantic movie or the crime drama she secretly loved or maybe if she was feeling intellectual she would find a documentary on the discovery channel. Those nights were extremely rare but that just made her enjoy them all the more. Lounging around on the couch, letting her dog sit on the couch at her feet – Simon didn't like that, Simon thought her dog should stay in the kitchen – munching on junk food to her hearts content. She was a secret junk food addict and she missed being able to indulge herself in her habit. She missed the potato chips, the chocolate chip cookies that were gooey in the middle. She missed the ice cream with chocolate sauce or whipped cream or both if the cravings were intense. She missed the popcorn she'd eat half of before giving her dog the rest.
They had had popcorn on Atlantis but it was all gone now. Major Sheppard and Teyla Emmagan had munched their way through it during the secret dates everyone knew about and more than a few had interrupted.
She missed that, missed being part of a couple, being part of a group. John had been the one to include her in group activities, to treat her like everyone else instead of walk on eggshells around her because she was the boss. He didn't do that anymore and she missed it.
She missed the weather. Of all the things she thought she'd miss, the changes in season back on Earth had never been one of them. In the eight months they'd been on Atlantis the weather had remained constant, the temperature barely fluctuating. She missed the hot summer sun on her back, the light spring rain she'd go waking her dog in just for an excuse to leave the house and let it pour down on her.
She missed the autumnal breeze, the crisp fresh smell in the air as the leaves changed colour and slowly started to fall to the ground below. She even missed winter, missed walking on a frost-hardened ground, hearing the grass crunch beneath her feet. She missed burrowing beneath the comforter on a cold winters morning, feeling so snug and cosy that it took three attempts to leave the warmth of her bed.
She missed the rain; Atlantis rain was rare and didn't have the same feel as Earth rain. It didn't smell as nice, wasn't as fresh or cleansing.
And she missed the rainbows. The glorious spectrum of light that always made her stop what she was doing and smile. The reminder of her childhood when her father convinced her there was a pot of gold at the rainbows end, her girlish fantasies after watching 'The Wizard of Oz' for the first time and wondering if maybe there was somewhere else over the rainbow, somewhere different and exciting and new.
Elizabeth signed wistfully and gave herself a mental shake. It didn't get much more different and exciting and new than Atlantis. She should be happy, should be as enthused as those who'd travelled from Earth with somehow still were but she couldn't be.
The magical land Dorothy had found had friendly munchkins, not Athosians who resented the upheaval their arriving had inflicted upon their lives. Dorothy had met the Scarecrow and Tin Man and Cowardly Lion, not countless races who blamed them – and rightfully so – for reawakening their enemy. And speaking of enemies, all Dorothy had had to contend with was a wicked witch with a desire for ruby slippers. She hadn't had to worry about life draining aliens who lived and thrived on the death of others. Dorothy had led her friends to the Emerald City and the Wizard of Oz. Elizabeth had led her team to Atlantis, to a war with a race they couldn't defeat, and she'd even led some of them to their deaths.
"Elizabeth?" The voice should have made her jump but it didn't. She wasn't surprised he'd noticed she was gone. Rodney McKay disliked the social gatherings almost as much as she was beginning to do and had uncanny knack of knowing when someone was avoiding it – especially if he'd been obligated into attending himself. "If you're going to be here hiding all night I might as well go back to my lab…"
"Do what you want, Rodney." She didn't look away from the expanse of ocean in front of her but was able to sense him moving closer. "If you want to go to the labs or get an early night for your mission tomorrow, feel free. I doubt anyone will notice."
"I'll try not to be insulted," McKay responded snippily. His tone changed as he got closer, leaning against the balcony and staring at her blatantly. "Are you okay?"
The question was asked awkwardly. McKay wasn't used to being concerned for others – let alone showing it – but he was working on what she liked to call his people skills and she was proud of him.
"I'm fine, Rodney. Just tired." She tore her gaze away from the sea and forced a smile. "Really. I'll be pleased when this is over so I can get to bed."
"You mean you can get back to work," he corrected with a knowing, almost condescending – almost – look. "You're a workaholic, Elizabeth, just like me."
Her smile was strained but he didn't notice. "You're right, Rodney. As always."
Inwardly she grimaced. Flinched. She remembered a time when she wasn't a workaholic, when she'd had something more to live for other than working twenty-two hours of every day. Thoughts of home, of Simon, of her dog, of the movie nights in and the walks in the rain floated back to her and a sigh caught in her throat. What she wouldn't give to be able to curl up in a comfortable chair with a good book.
McKay made his excuses and left – no doubt to get a few hours work done in his lab without having to deal with the hassle of the other scientists busting around him and interrupting his line of thought every five minutes to impart a theory of their own.
Elizabeth was relieved that the party broke up soon after and managed to paste a smile on her face as she said goodbye to their guests, a smile she had to keep going as she bid goodnight to all but a few members of staff. Major Sheppard and Teyla were going to escort the Athosians back to the mainland in puddle jumper one along with Lieutenant Ford and Doctor Beckett in puddle jumper two. Most of the others made their way to their quarters, in ones and twos though she turned a blink eye to the coupling and would do until they were ready to go public. Then only a skeleton crew remained, the night shift staff who would stay alert and keep watching over Atlantis until the morning.
She took a detour on the way to her quarters, knowing she probably wouldn't be able to sleep – and even if she could, she wouldn't be able to try until all members of her staff were safe and accounted for back on Atlantis. She stopped near the communally dubbed 'TV lounge' and noticed with some surprise that the seats were empty.
And tempting. Very tempting.
Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the seat and leaned back with a blissful sigh. She let her eyes drift shut and told herself she'd rest for a minute – and slowly fell asleep, dreaming of rainbows and Emerald Cities and Wraith who looked strangely like munchkins.
"Should we not wake her? I'm sure she would be more comfortable in her own quarters." Teyla Emmagan whispered as she stared down at the sleeping leader of Atlantis, making a note to herself that Doctor Weir looked paler than usual – and there was a frown line on her forehead, even in sleep. Maybe she'd go to the mainland when she returned from her mission and bring Doctor Weir some herbal tea. It helped her people sleep at times of great stress and she was sure it would be better for the doctor than the coffee the humans were rapidly making their way through.
Major John Sheppard tugged on their joint hands and started leading her away from the seats. "If we wake her up she'll probably not go back to sleep. She usually doesn't the night before we leave."
"Aye, and she doesn't sleep the nights you're away, either." Doctor Carson Beckett shook his head, part disapprovingly, part concerned. "Get away to bed. You should get a good nights sleep so you're not tired tomorrow." He realised who he was talking to and a light flush spread up his neck. He doubted sleep was the first thing on either of their minds. "I'll wake Elizabeth when you're gone and insist she goes to bed. I'll sedate her if I have to."
Teyla smiled in thanks and started moving away but quickly stopped on realising her lover wasn't following her. She looked at John and saw a frown appear on his face as he studied the slumbering woman. "John?"
"Is it that bad, Beckett?" John looked away from Elizabeth's frown and met Beckett's eyes, searching for an answer. "She really doesn't sleep?"
"Doctor Weir rarely has time to sleep," Beckett answered slowly, lowering his gaze so not to make the Major feel worse than he no doubt already did. They had discussed it before, just the two of them, in the early days before John and Teyla had become an item. He had voiced his concerns that Elizabeth was trying to do too much and John had immediately offered to do his part and shoulder more of the responsibility. After all, he was the highest-ranking military officer since Colonel Sumner's death at the beginning of their mission and in the early days, he and Doctor Weir had been linked as the two leaders of Atlantis. Recently, though, he'd been focusing less and less on the menial tasks being in command entailed, focusing more and more on his missions away from Atlantis and his relationship with the attractive woman standing beside him. "She has a lot to worry about," Beckett continued quietly. "It's no wonder she finds it hard to relax."
Lieutenant Aiden Ford looked slightly guilty though his guilt couldn't compare with John's. John forced himself to move, shaking himself mentally and making a vow that he'd discuss the situations with Doctor Weir when he got back after his mission.
"I'll talk with her," Sheppard said aloud, exchanging a look with Beckett, promising that this time he meant it. That this time he'd try to help and not let himself be distracted. He turned his head away from Doctor Weir and looked at the distraction holding his hand. A beautiful distraction, one he enjoyed. One he was starting to have doubts about. "Let's go," he murmured, tightening his grip on Teyla's and as he over took her, leading her and Ford out of the communal area ad into the hallway that housed their quarters.
The couple said goodnight to Ford, giving no false impressions. Secrets weren't easily kept on Atlantis and although some of the newly formed couples tried to deny they were together they were usually found out within weeks of the relationship starting. John and Teyla were no exception, nor were they the only couple consisting of an Athosian and someone from Earth.
As John led her into his sparsely decorated quarters, he wondered about those other couples, about the headaches their relationships could cause Doctor Weir. There was bound to be a time when odd days here and there weren't enough, when the couples wanted to live together, maybe get married. If they wanted to do that on Atlantis he couldn't see Elizabeth having a complaint about it – she'd told him once, just after the Athosians had chosen to leave, that she missed having them in the city. That the hallways and corridors were too empty without the sounds of their voices, without the children's laughter. Lonely, that was how she'd worded it. The city was lonely without them.
But what if they chose to live on the mainland with the other Athosians? They'd suffered more than a few fatalities since arriving on Atlantis – losses he and Doctor Weir both took personally, Elizabeth a little more than him – how would they manage losing more able personnel? And children! The Athosians were big on children. Two had already been born on the mainland and another four were on the way, maybe more. What if the couple chose to live on Atlantis and had children? The grown up ones were a pleasure to have around, the teenagers Doctor Weir confessed to missing but what about the younger ones? Babies? He didn't think she'd particularly mind but realistically, how would they be able to support so many children? God knew they were struggling to support and feed themselves and that was another worrying thought that no doubt plagued her mind. Another worry he'd let himself forget in the arms of the woman staring at him in concern.
"John?" Teyla rose from where she'd sat on the bed and took a step towards him, reaching out for him. "There is no need to be so worried for Doctor Weir. Doctor Beckett would inform you if there was something wrong."
'Not if she ordered him not to,' were the words on the tip of his tongue but he forced them back, masking them with a smile he entangled his fingers with hers. "You're right. I just feel bad for not noticing sooner."
"You have been busy." Teyla reminded him with a smile, taking a step towards him in a display of confidence she didn't truly feel. "You can talk to her when we return. Offer to help. If there is anything I can do to ease Doctor Weir's burden then I will endeavour to do so."
The heartfelt earnest in her voice made him smile, a genuine smile of gratitude. He covered the gap between them and drew her fully into his arms, leaning down to brush her lips gently with his. Several kisses later, the couple had forgotten most of what they'd been discussing and had edged backwards towards the small bed barely big enough for two.
John lost himself willingly in her arms, both seeking and finding oblivion together, thankful to have her steadying presence in his life.
Hours later, though, when sleep had yet to find him though his lover slept peacefully within the circle of his arms, he wondered at how easily he let himself be distracted yet again and found himself questioning his motives, wondering if maybe there was something else he was neglecting to think about.Teyla woke before he did, as was their custom. She knew he'd had a troubled night so didn't wake him as she usually did. Instead she was content to watch him, to frown at the worry lines marring his brow and let her thoughts drift.
It wasn't the same between them, not anymore. When they first started out as a couple, it had been new and exciting and they'd been so sure of themselves, so sure it was what they both wanted. She wondered now if she'd been wrong, if they'd let themselves be lulled into their relationship because it was the easiest thing to do. Perhaps they'd mistaken lust for love, acting on their mutual attraction, on the chemistry between them without pausing to question if it was really what they wanted.
If it would really work.
To be fair to John, she hadn't had doubts until recently. Until they'd been taken to the false reality the Ancient's had created and tried to trick them into believe was real. There had been something about the experience that had troubled her ever since, staying with her in her subconscious, creeping out to disturb her at times like this when she knew she should feel relaxed and content.
His world wasn't right for her. She didn't belong there. She had enjoyed it for a short time, loved some of the experiences she'd gone through for the first time like shopping and being driven around in a car but it wasn't for her. The lifestyle wasn't one she would be able to get used to. She would get bored, would long to be back with her people where she belonged.
John had no family. Certainly none that she knew of. Although she'd once decided to be that family for him she worried now tat she couldn't. That he didn't want her to be, that it wasn't as important to him as it was to her.
Teyla was used to being surrounded by people, to being with them. She wasn't used to being on her own, and although to the thought of having time alone with just John did appeal to her it wasn't what she wanted all of the time.
She wanted more. Needed more. Socialising and being part of a community was important to her. Interacting with others, carrying out discussions and observing groups of people together… That was important to her. It was show she raised, how she leaned all she knew.
John was uncomfortable with that kind of interaction, especially on a regular basis. She'd noticed it before, noticed it especially the night before. He'd started the evening on good form, making conversation with some, indulging her request to talk to various people but midway through the evening she'd sensed that his attention had wandered, that he would have preferred to have found a quiet corner away from everyone else where he could avoid talking to anyone else until it was time for them all to go home.
Unlike herself. Unlike Lieutenant Ford who'd seemed disappointed the night had to end. Unlike Doctor Beckett who'd been more than happy to spend most if not all of the evening discussing the differences between Athosian medical techniques and Earth ones – with the Athosian leaders as well as anyone else who cared to listen.
Teyla frowned and tried to recall seeing Doctor Weir at the party the night before. She remembered her being there at the beginning, greeting the Athosians. She remembered her being there at the end, too, dutifully thanking everyone in turn for coming, inviting them back, saying it was good to see them.
She didn't think Doctor Weir had been lying either. She believed the Atlantis leader did genuinely enjoy it when the Athosians came to visit – until recently she could remember Doctor Weir mingling and talking and laughing with everyone before retiring to her place by the balcony outside overlooking the ocean or more often than not finding a place for herself at the railing inside overlooking the Stargate usually with John at her side, the two of them content to talk solely to each other.
Teyla stiffened unintentionally, remembering back to all of the other social events they'd held at the city, before she and John became an item. Before Doctor Weir had started avoiding the gathering as much as possible.
They always gravitated towards each other, she realised with a sigh. Doctor Weir and Major Sheppard, the two leaders of Atlantis. She didn't know what they talked about, just remembered thinking once that they looked like proud parents, overseeing their children fondly. She herself had been kept occupied by Lieutenant Ford, she remembered. Aiden, he'd told her to call him Aiden. She never had. He'd spent many of those gatherings beside her, listening to her conversations with her people, joining in occasionally, or regaling her with stories of his family, of their gatherings and celebrations.
She didn't spend much time with him anymore, not without John anyway. She realised with a start that she missed it. She missed hearing about his family and friends back on Earth, missed his quiet understanding when she asked questions about Earth, questions that amused John and made him determined to teach her more about their culture.
John stirred beside her and she looked at the clock at the side of his bed. Right on time, right on schedule. He woke up at the same time every morning without fail, sometimes with a start as if he'd had a bad dream, sometimes with a sigh as his dreams slowly relinquished their hold over him.
She forced a smile to her lips as he opened his eyes, moving willingly into his embrace as he moved to kiss her. She let herself go in with the familiar feelings he invoked in her, telling herself sternly that she would confront her doubts later.
Much later, when she was certain they were real and not just a lingering reminder of a reality she was desperately trying to forget.
The team assembled in the gateroom and watched from the steps as the Stargate engaged. John looked over his shoulder up at the control room and saw Doctor Weir standing at the railing looking down on the Stargate. He caught her gaze and gave her a small smile, noticing even from the small distance between them that the smile she gave him in return didn't quite reach her eyes
He swallowed a sigh and motioned for Ford and McKay to take point, following at a slightly slower pace just a step behind Teyla. When he got back, after the usual debriefing, he'd make a point of asking to see her for a few minutes. And he'd be blunt, he'd talk to her like he once had and ask to know what he could do to help out – ask what tasks were consuming so much of her time that she didn't feel like she could rest and insist that he took over them. He'd find the time to do it, even if it meant cutting back on some things, like spending so much time with Teyla. He was sure she wouldn't mind, sure she'd enjoy the time alone or find someone else to talk to for a while…
Maybe Ford. She got along well with Ford. They were nearer each other in age, had the same things in common… There were times when he thought she'd be better of with Ford, times when she thought they had more chemistry, a greater attraction. But no. She'd found her way to his side, to his bed, the progression not so slow but natural all the same.
He could cut down on the amount of time he spend watching the movies and games General O'Neill had sent through from Earth. He'd seen most of them now anyway, during evenings alone with Teyla, sometimes with the rest of the team, educating her in the entertainment aspects available on Earth. He thought at first that she was impressed but he was beginning to see she was just confused. She didn't understand the thought behind filming people pretending to be someone else, couldn't understand investing so many resources and getting so involved in something that was essentially a game.
With the idea firmly stuck in his head, John followed his teammates through the Stargate, through to another world. He did his best to push the situation back on Atlantis to the back of his mind so he could focus on the mission at hand.
Something that wasn't easy.
Something that was far from easy.
The Barrasians weren't at all what they'd expected – even Teyla who remembered trading with them in the past. Word had spread that the Wraith had reawakened and of course, with it, word had spread that the people from Atlantis were to blame.
So instead of a friendship reception and enthusiasm at the opportunity to trade, the Atlantis team were greeted by primitive weapons and pushed none too gently along a beaten path into an old stone building that although was neglected in places made for a very secure prison.
A cold draft found its way in from a gap in the ceiling and the Atlantis team huddled together in the far corer of the building, discussing in low voices their situation, each trying and failing to think of a way out of it.
"I don't know why you thought they'd be good to trade with anyway," McKay sniffed, folding his arms over his chest as he stared accusingly at Teyla. "They don't have anything of value. No advanced technology, no chance of finding a ZPM…"
"They have food," Ford interrupted before Teyla could defend herself, meeting McKay's glare with one of his own. "Have you forgotten that our own supplies are running low? Technology might be enough to keep you happy, McKay, but the rest of us need something a little more substantial."
"Children, children." John's voice cut through the snide comment McKay was about to respond with, giving them both an impatient glance. "Stop arguing and use your brains to think of a way home instead of fighting about why we're here."
Ford's mouth closed in a tight line but he didn't say anything. He wouldn't, because John was a friend and Major Sheppard was his Commanding Officer. Instead he glowered at McKay in silence and wracked his brains for a plan that would help them escape.
"Perhaps I could talk to them," Teyla suggested several minute later, tensing her shoulders against the wind that whipped her back through what was no doubt another tiny hall somewhere in their damp surroundings. "I could explain that you did not mean to disturb the Wraith, ask that they let me speak with someone I have traded with before."
"Why bother?" McKay huffed. "They don't want to listen and even if they did, what would we say? Gee, we're sorry we woke up the worst enemy this galaxy has ever seen but we didn't know what we ere doing. Can you please let us go home where we're safer than you?" He snorted as he finished and shook his head, sighing deeply when no one responded to his tirade. "I wish Elizabeth was here. She'd be able to get us out."
"Elizabeth?" Ford mimicked with a smirk. "Careful, McKay, people might start thinking you have a thing for Doctor Weir."
"Just because I admire her it doesn't mean I necessarily have 'a thing' for her," McKay snapped in return, a little too defensively. "I simply meant that Elizabeth is trained to handle situations like this. She has experience dealing with people in these circumstances and I'm sure if she were here, we wouldn't be freezing to death in a crumbling shack on the top of a mountain!"
John shifted uncomfortable, agreeing with McKay in principal but not wanting to show his agreement in case Ford – or worse, Teyla – jumped to the same conclusion about him as he had about McKay Not that he couldn't understand McKay's crush on the attractive doctor – he could – but because the thought of someone thinking he had a crush on her made him feel uncomfortable.
The wind outside the decrepit building gathered strength, howling through the room perched precariously atop the four stonewalls. A cloud of dust settled over them and John looked up, swallowing hard as he watched some of the heavy slate tiles move, the thick wooden beam supporting them dipping in the middle towards the helpless group below.
Maybe that was how the Barrisians planned to dispose of them. Maybe leave them there, either to starve or rot or be buried alive when the old building finally surrendered to the climate and collapsed around and on top of them.
His gaze met McKay's and he could see understanding dawn on the scientists face. Ford and Teyla seemed momentarily oblivious and that was how he wanted to keep it, at least until he'd thought of a way to get them home.
They were overdue. Late by twenty-three minutes exactly and their previous two attempts to contact them via radio had proven fruitless. Elizabeth stood with Doctor Beckett at her side, the Doctor and a small team having been summoned when the team failed to return on time.
It usually wasn't a good sigh. In fact it was usually a very bad sign.
"Should we try again, Doctor Weir?" The technician looked up at her questioningly. Looking for answers. They all looked to her for answers and she couldn't give them any.
Elizabeth gave the technician a small nod, one that was accompanied by a friendly smile of thanks – it paid to be on good terms with these people she knew. Not only were they members of staff but they were the only people she had around for friendship and companionship and would have around for most likely years. "It's worth a try. Maybe it'll be third time lucky."
Anxiety hung in the air as the Stargate was activated for the third time in half an hour. The Stargate whooshed to life and the puddle of the event horizon formed an uneven surface in the middle of the large stone circle. The shield was raised and Elizabeth waited for the nod that meant her microphone was linked to the radio system.
"Major Sheppard, this is Atlantis. Please respond."
A burst of static, then silence.
"Lieutenant Ford? McKay? Teyla? Can anyone hear me?"
Nothing but silence. Elizabeth sighed and shook her head, gazing at Doctor Beckett was his concerned expression mirrored hers.
"Can we launch a rescue mission?" Beckett asked quietly. "Is there a team free?"
"There is but I'd rather know what we're dealing with before I send another team through." She worried her bottom lip, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.
"A wise idea." The response didn't come from either the man beside her or the female technician manning the dialling computer. It came from the radio on the other side of the Stargate she'd been appealing to moments before. "My name is Brayne. I am the leader of the Barrasians. I demand to speak to the leader of the Atlantians regarding the trespassers to our land."
Elizabeth stiffened at the terms 'demand' and 'trespassers' but she managed to keep it from showing in her voice. "My name is Doctor Elizabeth Weir, I'm the one you wish to speak to. Please accept my apologies, we did not mean to trespass on your land. We merely wanted to trade with your people."
A chuckle, more surprised than amused, preceded his response. "I had heard that the person with whom I needed to speak was a female but I did not believe it. Doctor Elizabeth Weir, if that is who you are, you should be aware that we have heard about you from the Genii. We are aware that your people are responsible for awakening our enemy, the Wraith. We do not wish to trade with those who so carelessly took all of our lives into their hands without thought."
Elizabeth moistened her bottom lip and hesitated before responding, sharing a quick glance with Beckett. The room around her had gone silent, with everyone present handing on every word exchanged. "I understand why you would be feeling that way but please know that it was never our intention to wake the Wraith." The apology spoken, she straightened her shoulders, her hands clenching into fists. "If you would allow our team to return I promise we won't bother you again."
Brayne gave an outright laugh, tinged with something that set Elizabeth on edge. "They are trespassers, Doctor Elizabeth Weir, I cannot simply return them to you. They must be punished." He paused, no doubt for effect, and continued in a serious voice. "I am afraid they will not be returned to you until they have been duly punished for their crimes. Unless…"
"Unless what?" She shifted uncomfortably on the spot, bouncing a little on the soles of her feet. She didn't like negotiating with a voice; she would have preferred to see his face, to look him in the eye. In her experience it was easier to see if someone was lying by the expression in their eyes.
"Unless you wish to trade," Brayne replied with an obvious grin in his voice.
Beside her, she heard Beckett mutter under his breath "I thought he didn't want to trade" but fought the urge to agree and voice the opinion to Brayne. "What is it you wish to trade, Brayne?"
"I would prefer to negotiate in person, Doctor Elizabeth Weir." Brayne answered in the same almost smug tone. "Would it be possible for you to join us?"
Her head of security shook his head but Elizabeth ignored him. Beckett mouthed the word 'no' at her but she pretended she didn't see. "It would be possible if two conditions were met," she spoke quickly before the technician could follow her head of security's order to cut off her microphone. "One is that you allow a security team to accompany me. You wouldn't travel somewhere else for negotiations without one and neither will I."
"Agreed. What is the second?"
"You send a member of the team you are holding back to us in a gesture of good will to prove that they haven't come to any harm." Elizabeth forced a stern note into her voice. "Before we negotiate a trade for their release I must know that they're alright, that you haven't… punished… any of them."
There was a long pause and muffled voices as Brayne and whoever was with him discussed the request. "That is acceptable," Brayne answered eventually though she could tell from his voice that he wasn't pleased with the arrangement. "One of your people will return to you soon."
The radio transmission was cut and static greeted her ears. At her gesture, the Stargate was closed and the static gave way to silence. Elizabeth met the surprised gazes with a determined stare. "Carson, get a team ready to greet whoever the Barrasians chose to send back. Sergeant Bates," she addressed her head of security, ignoring the scowl he wore. "Get a team ready to accompany me to Barrasia." She turned her attention to the technician and managed a tight smile. "Simpson, see if you can alert the Athosians to the situation. I'd like to know what they do about the Barrasians and if there's anyone who'd be willing to come with us."
Everyone left to follow orders, everyone but Beckett who stood beside her with a disapproving look on his face. "You promised me you'd take it easy."
"That was before four members of my team were held hostage," she replied smartly, holding his gaze evenly. "They're my responsibility, Carson. Do you really think I could relax knowing they're not safe?"
He thought about pointing out she'd included Teyla as one of her team but decided against it. "I want to go with you. Just in case." He could see by the expression that appeared on her face that a protest was forthcoming. "I'm going Elizabeth, I'm not going to argue with you. The others might need me and so might you."
Elizabeth tried to think of a good reason to turn him down but failed, shaking her head. "Fine," she said with a tolerant. "Depending on the condition of whoever they send back, you can join the rescue team."
Beckett nodded, a small self-satisfied smile on his face. He stood back besides her, waiting, sharing her growing anxiety as the minutes ticked by.
Twenty minutes later, Elizabeth, Beckett and the small security-come-rescue team were ready to go. The Athosians had given them as much information on the Barrasians as they had but insisted they couldn't spare anyone to go with them. Most of the men were away on hunting trips or were planting and tending to their fledging crops with the women folk.
Elizabeth tried not to feel insulted, tried not to think the Athosians weren't volunteering to go because she was. Instead she thanked them for their help and promised she'd do her best to get Teyla home. Whether they believed her was another story and she was half convinced they were already planning their former leaders memorial service.
Twenty-seven minutes after first making contact with the Barrasians, the Atlantis Stargate was engaged. Elizabeth stood with her shoulders tensed, relaxing only marginally when Simpson confirmed the code coming through belonged to the missing Atlantis team. She ordered the force field surrounding the Stargate be dropped and waited, watching as several military members of the Atlantis staff aimed their weapons at the vulnerable entry.
And waited for several long minutes before the surface finally rippled and someone came through.
McKay walked through the Stargate, making it three or four steps away from the glimmering surface before dropping to his knees. The wormhole disengaged behind him and Elizabeth rushed down the steps towards him with Beckett on her heels.
"McKay?" She stared at him in horror as he looked up at her through cloudy unfocused eyes, fresh blood streaming from a vicious cut at his forehead down his face, into his eyes. "What did they do to you?"
McKay shook his head, struggling to focus. "Just a warning," he managed, the words slightly slurred. "Did this before I came through. Wanted to let you know they're serious." He blinked and reached out with an unsteady hand to grab her arm in a surprisingly strong grasp as the medical team tried to usher him away. "It's a trap, Elizabeth. You can't go."
"I have to, Rodney, I have to bring the others home." She helped ease him onto the stretcher the medical team had brought forward, putting a firm but kind hand to his shoulder to keep him down when he tried to get up. "Is there anything you can tell me that might help us get the others back, Rodney? Anything at all?"
He was evidently struggling to stay conscious, his eyes threatening to roll back into his head at any moment as he fought to keep them open. "Old building. On a hill. Could break through the walls. Crumbling. Might collapse."
That was all he could say before the darkness closed in around him and his grip on her arm slackened. Elizabeth gently lay his arm down on the stretcher beside him and nodded to the medical team, motioning to them that they could take him away. She stood when they left with him, squaring her shoulders as she stared at the now inactive Stargate.
"I'm coming with you," Beckett said stubbornly at her side before she could protest. "If they did that to Rodney as a message, God knows what they can and will do to the others and you. You might need me."
Elizabeth gave him a short nod, her lips pursued as she barely managed to keep her anger in check. "I agree with you, Doctor Beckett. You don't have to convince me. You might be needed in case someone else is hurt." She glanced over her shoulder, in the empty direction McKay had been taken, her expression softening, making her look vulnerable for a split second before the controlled mask slid back into place. "Will he be okay?"
"He'll be fine, probably have a mild concussion but the others can handle it." Beckett sounded as if he was trying to convince himself at the same time but Elizabeth managed a smile and gave him another nod.
She took a deep breath and turned to face the small team who remained standing behind her, waiting for her to decide what their next step would be. "You heard him, people. This is probably a trap but whether it is or not is irrelevant right now. We need to make sure we get our people back without anyone else being hurt or worse, being killed. McKay mentioned something about them being held in an old building, maybe we can break them out of there if we have to." She turned her attention to Sergeant Bates who was ready to go through the Stargate with them. "Sergeant, I don't want you coming through the Stargate with us." She held up her hand to stem his protests and silenced him with a look. "I want you to prepare puddle jumper one. Bring whatever equipment you can find that might help us break them out of wherever they're being held."
"You want to break them out of there?" Bates stared at her in surprise, struggling to believe what he was hearing. "With force?"
"As a last resort," she added with a raised eyebrow. "Only as a last resort. I will attempt to negotiate their release. If by the time you arrive in puddle jumper one we've had no success, we'll find a way to send you a message. While you're rescuing them the rest of us will keep Brayne and his people occupied by letting them believe we're still willing to try and negotiate."
Bates accepted the orders with a nod, clearly not liking the thought of her travelling through the Stargate without them but able to see the logic in her plan. He disappeared back up the steps towards the control room as Elizabeth gave the order for the Stargate to be dialled and moved to stand with Beckett a safe distance away.
It was only when the Stargate was activated and they were walking towards it that Elizabeth noticed the small smile playing around on Beckett's lips. Her eyes narrowed and she shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. "Is there something amusing, Doctor Beckett?"
"Not at all, Doctor Weir," Beckett returned with a failed attempt at suppressing the smile. "Major Sheppard would be proud of you, Elizabeth. You're thinking more military than diplomat."
"I hope not, Carson." She took a few seconds to prepare herself mentally for the ordeal of stepping through the Stargate and inhaled deeply. "I hope not for all of our sakes."
Holding her head high and her back straight, Elizabeth waited for the first two of her security team to step through the Stargate before following through herself, hoping she knew what she was letting herself in for.
The three remaining hostages huddled together in the corner of the building as the wind continued to howl and the rain beating down on the earth outside somehow managed to find its way inside. McKay had been dragged out of the room kicking and screaming, earning a nasty head wound for his troubles and John could only hope he was okay.
He felt helpless and that wasn't a feeling he was used to, not recently. Recently he'd become the hero of Atlantis, able to get his team out of the most unlikely of situations but now… Now he couldn't and he hated that.
He hated thinking of himself as useless, as being unable to help and save the people around him. The people he cared about, who had become his family.
He turned his head sideways and glanced at Teyla out of the corner of his eye, noticing her head was slightly bent forward, almost as if she was praying for their release. His gaze moved past her and onto Ford who sat on her other side, sitting as close as he dared, almost as if he feared John's wrath if he dared get too close to her.
John shook his head mentally and repressed a sigh. No matter how many times he'd mentioned conserving body heat, the Lieutenant still kept a proper distance, no doubt freezing himself in the process.
He found his mind wandering back to McKay. Where was he? What did they want with him? When the Barrasians had come to take one of them, he'd insisted that they take him – he was the leader, after all. The one responsible for the mess they were in. If they wanted to interrogate someone, to punish someone, surely it should be him?
The Barrasians had disagreed. They'd pushed him back down, knocking Teyla and Ford over in the process and grabbed McKay without so much as a grunt, hitting him in the temple with one of their weapons when the scientist had put up a fight.
Maybe they wanted him for his brains, for his scientific mind he liked bragging about so much. John didn't really think that was the case, the Barrasians were a basic people after all and he didn't think they'd have much use for McKay's bright ideas but it was the only excuse he was happy with.
The only one he wanted to think about.
The others his mind conjured all led to one thing: to McKay being punished for no reason, being hurt, maybe even killed, for sport. For enjoyment. Those thoughts made his stomach churn and nausea rise up in his throat.
An ominous rumble cut through his thoughts and John looked up, freezing as did Teyla and Ford beside him.
At first he thought it was thunder, thought the storm was getting worse.
It wasn't, though he wished it was.
Part of the ceiling above them shifted, sinking lower. They barely had time to duck out of the way before a section of it fell in, a piece of large stone landing where Ford had been just moments before.
The Lieutenant looked at the space shakily, staring at it with an unusually pale face as the dust slowly cleared and the rain beat down on them.
"It is still sheltered over here," Teyla murmured, the first to speak since McKay had been taken. John watched her with admiration as she moved over to Ford, taking him by the arm and gently guiding him to the opposite corner that was still semi-covered by what little remained of the room. "Come on, Aiden. It's dry over here."
John followed them slowly, and remained standing as Teyla eased Ford into a sitting position beside her in the corner. He leaned against the wall beside them, putting as much weight on it as he dared, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest as he stared at the now wet and rocky corner opposite them.
"It is not your fault, John." He looked down to find Teyla staring up at him, her eyes soft even as she huddled close to Ford in an attempt at easing the lieutenant's shock.
"Yes it is." His gaze flickered away from her, focusing on the heavy wood door a few feet away. He tensed when she moved a hand to touch his leg reassuringly, relaxing only when she withdrew. "It's all my fault."
Even as he stared at the door, it swung open almost as if he'd willed it to, creaking on its hinges as it hit the wall behind it and bounced back. At first the doorway remained empty, then one of the Barrasians who'd grabbed McKay walked in. He stopped just inside the doorway, leaving only enough room for one of his companions to join him.
"You." The word was a grunt, accompanied by a finger pointed at John. "Come."
John straightened, taking a step away from the wall and letting his arms drop to his sides. He stopped before he reached the Barrasians, determined to hold his ground until he had answers. "Where's McKay? What did you do with him?"
The Barrasian stared at him for several long moments and John wondered if maybe he hadn't understood. Then his mouth curved upwards in an unkind grin. "Come," he repeated even as his companion took a step forward, bouncing his weapon off the palm of his hand in what John knew to be a warning.
He locked his jaw and nodded imperceptibly, taking another step forward. He let himself be grabbed by the second Barrasian, let himself be led away as the first lingered. He looked back over his shoulder at Teyla and Ford as the first Barrasian followed him out into the rain, catching a glimpse of the concern on their faces moments before the door swung shut between them.
John forced himself to look forward again, doing his utmost to ignore the sly looks he was getting from the Barrasians and told himself they'd be okay. He hopefully wouldn't be gone for long, just long enough to find out what had happened to McKay. Then he'd come back to them, hopefully having gathered enough intelligence to be able to come up with an escape strategy, and the three of them – four if McKay was returned with him – would find a way out of their prison before it collapsed around them and find some way of getting back to the Stargate.
Of getting back home.
Due to the weather conditions ravaging the planets surface, Elizabeth wasn't surprised when the Barrasians waiting for them ushered them into what looked like a large marquee-style tent without pausing to make introductions. It was only when they were inside that she realised introductions would have been pointless – Brayne himself hadn't come to meet her, instead he was sitting in the relative warmth of the tent, swathed in animal skins and furs, a cup carved out of wood in his hand.
No doubt a cup full of something alcoholic if the look on his face and the stale smell of his breath was anything to go by. It was all she could do not to flinch as they were formally introduced and she was ushered into a sitting position on yet more furs beside him.
"Doctor Elizabeth Weir." Brayne motioned to her with his cup, the contents of which slopped over the top and down his fingers but he didn't seem to notice. "We are humbled that you agreed to meet with us. I take it Doctor McKay arrived back in one piece?"
"He arrived back with a head would and what could potentially be a serious injury." Elizabeth met his friendly – too friendly – stare with a cold one of her own. "If that's how you treat your hostages, Brayne, I might have to insist on seeing the other members of my team before agreeing to any negotiations."
Brayne grinned at her, showing that the teeth he had were stained with yellow. "I suspected you might say that so have arranged for another one of our hostages to join us. Doctor McKay's injury was an accident. He did not realise were letting him go so fought with my people when they went to follow orders to escort him back to the Stargate."
"And I'm sure your people tried to explain to him that he was being realised prior to deciding that injuring him was the only way to go." The sarcastic retort was lost on Brayne as it was accompanied by a warm smile. Before the Barrasian leader could respond to her comment, the tent flaps were opened again and a gust of wet wind was let into the otherwise warm room. Elizabeth didn't complain though, even as she shivered. Her eyes were fixed on the person pushed none-too-gently through the flap, who landed with a muffled 'oompf' on the floor just a few feet away. "Major Sheppard?"
John froze in the process of pushing himself up and he stared at her in surprise. "Doctor Weir?"
"It's good to see you in one piece, Major." A small smile tugged at her lips at the astonishment on his face but she carefully wiped all traces of it from her face before turning to Brayne. "Can I assume Teyla and Lieutenant Ford are unharmed, wherever they may be?"
"You can." The grin on Brayne's face faded as John pushed himself up and moved to take a sitting position beside her. "Now will you trade for their freedom or do I tell my people to prepare them for punishment?"
Elizabeth fought the urge to cast a quick glance at John to get his take on the situation and kept her gazed focused on the Barrasian leaders face. "I'm willing to open negotiations. Why don't you start by telling me what you want from us?"
Brayne watched with interest as Doctor Beckett had to nudge Major Sheppard sharply in the ribs with his elbow to get him to stay quiet and turned his attention back to Doctor Weir. "You may have noticed that my people mainly consist of men."
"I can't say I had," she answered slowly, her stomach sinking as she glanced around the room. "I assumed your women and children were elsewhere, keeping out of the storm."
"Aye, those we have left are." Brayne's expression clouded over, all traces of amusement fading into weariness. "The Wraith came to our land several weeks ago. They took some of my men and most of our women and children."
"I'm sorry to hear that." The sincerity in her voice was genuine. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Brayne, but I don't see how we can help."
"You can help in one of two ways, Doctor Weir. Elizabeth." The grin reappeared on his face but this time it held something else, something that made her want to shrink back. "One, you can go after the Wraith and attempt to rescue some of our women. It wouldn't be easy. We have no way of knowing where they are, if they're still alive… It would no doubt cost some of your people their lives."
Elizabeth clenched her jaw against the challenge in his eyes and gave herself a few seconds to regain her composure. "That isn't possible. We don't have the resources to track down the particular Wraith ship, as much as I would love to help you get your people back. What's the second option?"
"The second option is that you trade some of your women for the lives of the male members of your team we hold hostage." Brayne didn't wait for her to protest, he could see in her eyes that it was an idea that appalled her. "Don't look so surprised, Elizabeth. How else do you suppose we make up our numbers? I would even be willing to let Teyla return to her people on the understanding that you yourself stay here."
"Not going to happen." The words echoed what Elizabeth was thinking but they didn't come from her mouth. She turned her head to look at John, subtly moving a hand to rest on his arm as a warning to sit back. When he met her eyes, she was surprised at the fire in his gaze. "I'll go after the Wraith ship myself."
"That won't be necessary, John." The hand on his arm tightened briefly and it was that coupled with the use of his first name that had him sitting back. "Brayne," Elizabeth let her attention drift back to the Barrasian leader. "You must know that I'd find the second option unacceptable, too. I value the lives of every individual on Atlantis and I'm not willing to trade any of them, even for the lives of those you're currently holding."
"Even the Athosians?" Brayne stared at her with obvious interest, intrigued by her comment almost as much as he was by the way she calmed Major Sheppard. "Would you be willing to trade some of the Athosian women for the lives of your friends? I assume they're friends since you've come personally to bargain for them?"
John felt her stiffen but didn't say anything. He instead fisted his hand and forced himself to sit back. Forced himself to be a spectator instead of a participant.
"The Athosian women are just as valuable to me as the others under my command on Atlantis. I told you, Brayne, I'm not going to trade a life for a life. I can't apologise enough for our role in reawakening the Wraith or for the loss of your people but if our situation was reversed I'm sure you would refuse to trade your people, too." She somehow managed to keep her voice calm, her tone even as her heart beat to an unsteady rhythm in her chest. The negotiations were rapidly drying up and she couldn't let that happen. It was too soon, there was no way Sergeant Bates would arrive in the puddle jumper in time and she needed to talk to Major Sheppard, too. "Maybe there's something else we could trade for instead. You said you had spoken with the Genii. If that's true, they must have told you about the C4 we have. You could use it to defend your people against the Wraith if they return."
"When they return," Brayne responded, a quizzical look passing over his face. "The Genii did not mention this C4 of yours. What does it do?"
"It's an explosive material. A highly explosive substance that when used appropriately can be used to defend yourself." She chose her words, carefully, deliberately underplaying the draw of C4, the ability to use it for offence as well as defence. "I'm surprised the Genii didn't tell you about it. It's what they wanted from us. They seemed to think it was pretty valuable."
Brayne sat in silence for several long moments. After exchanging a look with the two Barrasians who stood guarding the entry to the marquee, he got to his feet and gave Elizabeth a nod. "I will need to consider trading for this C4 you speak of, and discuss it with my people. We will adjourn for the night and tomorrow you will arrange a demonstration of this material for my people. We will decide then if it worth releasing our prisoners."
Elizabeth stood, motioning for her team to do the same. "That is acceptable. However I will need to discuss preparing a demonstration with Major Sheppard…"
"Major Sheppard will be allowed to accompany you and your team to your dwelling," Brayne responded in what was the friendliest tone she'd heard from it. It also had a note of something, an undercurrent of knowingness that made her want to treat him to her coldest glare. "Teyla and Lieutenant Ford will remain where they are," he added with a glance at John. "I will send someone to them with food and water."
"And a blanket or two." John couldn't resist the urge to speak up. "It'll be a cold night."
Brayne nodded in mild acceptance. "Yes, it will. I will see to it that they are adequately prepared." He motioned to the men at the entry to the tent. "Allas and Tarin will lead you to your dwelling for this evening. It may be cramped given your number but I am sure you will be comfortable."
His brisk words signalled the end of the conversation for the evening. Elizabeth walked slightly ahead of her team, following the two Barrasians Brayne had pointed out. Her posture as she walked signalled to the rest of her team that she didn't want any of them to talk, not yet.
Not until they were safely inside their own smaller tent and could speak without being overheard.
As Elizabeth, John, Beckett and the rest of their small team were led to their own marquee, Ford and Teyla were taken a blanket to share between them, a cup of water and a bowl that was full of something resembling chicken.
They sat in the corner of the small dwelling, the small blanket stretched between them.
"Are you afraid I will bite you, Lieutenant Ford?" There was a teasing note in her voice, one that would have made him smile if her teeth hadn't started chattering after the words left her mouth. "You are letting the cold air get between us."
Ford opened his mouth to protest when she moved closer but his jaw snapped shut as her warmth slowly spread through him. His back tensed and he kept his arms folded, careful not to touch anymore of her than absolutely necessary. "I was thinking about Major Sheppard."
"I'm sure he will be fine." Teyla didn't sound as convinced as he thought maybe she wanted to but the reassuring smile she managed was genuine. "Do not worry, Lieutenant Ford. I am sure John is fine."
"Yeah." He bit down on his tongue, effectively stopping himself from pointing out that that wasn't quite what he meant. "So."
Teyla turned to him expectantly, the shadows concealing her face. "Is there something you wish to talk about, Lieutenant Ford?"
"No." As soon as the word left his mouth, Aiden regretted it. Teyla turned her face away from him and let her eyes slide shut. He swallowed a sigh and tried to follow her lead.
Tried to but failed.
It hadn't been so bad when Major Sheppard was with them but now they were alone… Now they were alone Ford had only Teyla to talk to, Teyla to think about.
As if he didn't do enough thinking about her already.
His jaw tightened and he pushed the thought away. He wouldn't think about that now, couldn't think about it now or ever. Teyla and Major Sheppard were an item, a couple, and he couldn't keep thinking about her as if they weren't. He could keep kicking himself for not being able to work up the courage to approach her first but he couldn't keep thinking about her as anything more than a friend.
As anything more than a colleague.
But that wasn't so easy to do when she shifted closer, seeking shelter from the gust of wind that washed over them. It wasn't easy when she sighed softly, almost imperceptibly, and let her head rest on his shoulder.
He ground his teeth together and stared at head, fixing his gaze on the wall opposite them. It was going to be a long night.
A very long night.
Very few members of the Atlantis team got any sleep that night. Beckett and the others who had either been chosen or had volunteered to accompany Elizabeth to Barrasia tried valiantly but found it wasn't easy while at the same time trying to listen to the whispered argument taking place between Doctor Weir and Major Sheppard.
"You shouldn't be here." John kept his voice dangerously low. "We could have handled the situation on our own."
They stood together at the far side of the tent they'd been given, doing their best not to disturb their colleagues. Elizabeth stared at him with an arched eyebrow, her shoulder tense. "I beg to differ, Major. How exactly were you planning on getting out of this one?"
"I wasn't going to offer them explosives, that's for sure! Weren't you the one who told me you didn't want to establish ourselves as arms dealers in this galaxy?" The reminder of her own words stung but John had no room for remorse. He was battling with concern for Teyla and Ford, concern for Elizabeth and mild anger that she'd put herself in danger – that Beckett had let her – after admitting not so long ago that she was under enough pressure on Atlantis.
Her arms moved and her hands came to rest on her hips. "Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather I offered him what he wanted? Maybe I should've thrown myself into the bargain and you could get control of Atlantis."
"That's not what I want and you know it." Surprise flared momentarily in his eyes but was beaten back swiftly.
"Do I? If I remember right, I'm the one in charge of this mission." One hand moved and she prodded him in the chest with her index finger. "I'm the one in charge of Atlantis."
"You are, Elizabeth, that isn't an issue…" John let his eyes roll and caught her hand, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, conscious of the eavesdroppers doing their best to look as though they were sleeping soundly.
"If it isn't an issue then why are you questioning my decisions and acting as though I should have consulted you first?" She pulled her hand back and returned it to her hip, glaring at him.
"You should have done!" He fought the urge to throw his hands up in the air in frustration. "You don't have to do it alone. You can't keep doing it alone."
"When exactly did I have time to consult you, Major? Before or after Brayne decided to punish you all for waking the Wraith?"
"We're not talking about this mission."
"Then what are we talking about?"
Silence.
They stared at each other, both breathing heavily, both flushed. He took a half-step forward and watched as she took a half-step back, wariness entering her eyes.
"This isn't about the mission," he answered in a quieter voice, his eyes dark. "This is about you trying to do too much and me not doing enough to help out."
"I've been managing fine on my own, John." It was a struggle to keep her tone as soft as his but she managed. Barely. "Honestly. I don't know what Carson's told you but he should learn to mind his own business. I'm fine. I don't need you putting your life on hold to help me with mine."
"I wouldn't be putting my life on hold. I want to help out more, I want to take on more responsibility." He shrugged and looked away. "I just got distracted…"
A brief albeit wistful sigh turned up the corners of her mouth for a split second. "You have nothing to feel guilty about, John, I really wish you'd stop doing that. You and Teyla need time together and I understand that. I don't expect you to put your relationship on hold so you can work yourself to an early grave on Atlantis. You do enough as it is, risking your life every time you go off world… I'm happy for you and Teyla. I'm pleased you have each other to turn to." She didn't miss the shadow that passed over his face and stopped speaking.
"It won't be an issue anymore."
"I'm sorry to hear that." When his gaze found its way back to her face, he saw nothing but genuine sympathy there.
"Don't be, it wasn't serious. Yet." He ran a hand through his hair and shifted awkwardly. "She, ah, doesn't know yet. So I'd appreciate it if…"
"I won't tell anyone." Elizabeth made the promise quietly and knew it was one she would keep. "Is there no way you can make it work…?"
He shook his head. "It shouldn't have started in the first place."
Elizabeth could think of nothing to say to that so settled for letting her hand rest on his arm in consolation. "Back to the matter at hand," she said after a few moments had passed. "I'll need you to demonstrate how to use C4 tomorrow."
"That's fine." John nodded his agreement, and his relief at the change of subject. "What if Brayne isn't happy with the C4? What do we do then?"
"I've been thinking about that, and if I'm right, he won't be happy with just the C4." She withdrew her hand after realising it was still resting on his arm and crossed her arms over her chest. "I have an idea. You're not going to like it but I think it might work."
He knew from the gleam in her eye that she was telling the truth and stifled a sigh as he leaned in closer, straining to hear her carefully whispered words.
How it happened he didn't know.
One minute they were talking, making small talk to make the night pass at a bearable rate, and the next minute…
… The next minute they weren't. The next minute they were staring at each other in silence. Then somehow he moved his head forward and she tilted her face up and then their lips met and they were kissing and clinging.
And then it was over.
As quickly as it started, it was over. They went back to staring at each other for several long moments, their faces featuring identical expressions of shock and surprise.
She turned away from him and let her eyes slide shut, creating the pretence of getting some sleep but he could tell that she was no more able to do so than he was himself.
So he continued to sit there, continued to stare sightlessly ahead.
Continued to wish for morning, for the chance to put the night behind them.
The bad weather had cleared by the time morning came. Elizabeth was awake and ready to leave before John had managed to clear the sleep from his eyes and it took both of them to get Doctor Beckett to stir.
Brayne greeted them almost as soon as they left the shelter of their tent, demanding to see a demonstration of the C4. After getting silent permission from Elizabeth, John obliged him with a short demonstration, and a brief explanation of what else the C4 could do. Afterwards, Brayne had them ushered – escorted – to the main marquee tent from the day before while he remained behind to study to side effects of the demonstration and hold an animated discussion with his men.
"I think he was impressed," Elizabeth murmured to John as he eased himself down beside her. "With a bit of luck, he'll take the C4 and let us all go."
John snorted. "Since when has luck been on our side in this galaxy?" He saw the look she shot him and shrugged in self-defence. "What? I was just saying…"
"Don't. We don't need any more bad luck." Elizabeth stifled a sigh and ran a weary hand over her face. Her eyes stayed closed a fraction longer than necessary and she missed the concerned look Doctor Beckett exchanged with John.
The tent flaps opened and Brayne marched in, accompanied by the same two guards who'd show them to their accommodation the night before. Elizabeth sat up straighter and watched, as he took his time in sitting down in front of them.
"Your C4 is very impressive," Brayne commented after a long moment of silence. "I will take it into consideration during our negotiations."
"I'm pleased to hear it." Elizabeth let a small smile grace her lips and inclined her head. "Maybe you should tell us what you're looking for in exchange for Lieutenant Ford and Teyla. We can start from there."
"For Lieutenant Ford, we would like all of the C4 your team carries with them currently," Brayne offered, his dark eyes glinting in a way that made John tense.
"And for Teyla?" Elizabeth pressed.
Brayne gave her a toothy, appreciative grin. "Teyla Emmagan stays here with us to make up for the loss of our women."
"Unacceptable." Her hand found John's arm and gripped it tightly before he could say anything. "Teyla is a very important part of my team. I couldn't leave her here even if I had the right to trade her life, which I don't."
She expected Brayne to protest, to insist that Teyla stay behind but he didn't. The leader of the Barrasians grinned at her, almost in smug satisfaction as if he'd expected her answer and was pleased by it.
"Then we want something else in exchange for Teyla Emmagan." Brayne paused, studying her reaction, the grin on his face growing wider at the flash of determination that moved across her face.
"Name it."
"We want you."
John protested and fought with them, and Doctor Beckett insisted they couldn't do that. Elizabeth stood calmly between the two Barrasian guards and thought to herself grimly that they could.
The Barrasians could do whatever they whatever they wanted to.
She did her best to ignore Brayne's satisfied smirk and held her head up as she was encouraged with a look and a grunt from the guards at either side to start walking and follow their leader.
Not once did she look back as they led her away.
"Doctor Weir?" Ford squinted at her, unaccustomed to the bright daylight as he and Teyla were roughly pulled outside. "What are you doing here?"
'I've come to rescue you, Lieutenant. Not doing a good job of it, am I?' The retort danced on the tip of her tongue but Elizabeth bit it back, managing to force a faint smile to her lips.
The smile slipped seconds later as she was pushed into the building Teyla and Ford had so recently vacated. She jumped, as the door was slammed shut behind her, coughing as a cloud of dust settled over her. With wary eyes, she studied the living conditions her people had been subjected to and grimaced at the pile of rock and damp straw settled in one corner, grimacing even more as the skies above turned grey. An ominous rumble echoed in her ears and she looked up through the hole in the roof to see lightening flash against the darkened sky.
She ran a tired hand over her face and moved gingerly to the other side of the one-room building, noticing the dirty looking blanket crumpled on the floor next to the discarded cup of water.
Stifling a sigh, she lowered herself down to sit on top of the material, wrapping her arms around herself as she sat and waited, listening to the rain pounding down on what remained of the roof.
The wind picked up strength an hour or so later and she shivered as particularly strong gust struck the walls of the building.
A stone tumbled down from above and landed beside her foot. Elizabeth looked up to see where it had come from and froze.
The ceiling dipped towards her, the rocks and what she thought were rotten wooden beams creaking and cracking, as the rain got stronger.
She should move.
She knew she should.
The ceiling started to give even as she stared up at it, rock and stone raining down on top of her as adrenaline kicked on and she tried to push herself out of the way.
Several minutes was all it took for the ceiling and part of a wall to give in entirely.
Trapped beneath the rubble, Elizabeth groaned and did her best to push the small pieces of debris away, slicing the skin of her palms and fingers on the sharp, jagged edges.
'Hurry up,' she willed the rescue team she hoped was on its way, coughing as the rain continued to fall on her, coughing as the dust she'd inhaled settled in her lungs. She let her head fall backwards and stared up at the sky, her vision becoming blurred, the world becoming dark.
Despite the obvious exhaustion of Ford and Teyla, John set a gruelling pace back to the Stargate, one he obviously intended them to copy. It was with a great big sigh of relief that John acknowledged Beckett's strained comment that the Barrasians had refrained from following them, particularly once Sergeant Bates appeared pacing in front of the Stargate, despite the rain and wind bearing down on him.
"Where's Doctor Weir?" Bates demanded as the small team made their way to him. He met them half way, staring at John accusingly. "Major Sheppard? Where is Doctor Weir?"
"Doctor Weir volunteered to stay behind," John answered in a voice that wasn't as calm as he would have liked. The look that accompanied the words, however, was enough to keep Sergeant Bates from giving him too hard a time.
"I assume there's a plan?" The sergeant said it with an arched eyebrow, folding him arms over his chest. "You're not planning on leaving her behind?"
The eyes that met his were as cold as ice. "No one gets left behind, Sergeant, especially not the leader of Atlantis." John could almost hear the words 'you left Colonel Sumner behind' reverberate in the Sergeant's head but he brutally forced them out of his own. "Is the puddle jumper somewhere around her?"
Bates nodded. "A five minute walk that way. My men will make it visible when they spot us. Are we going after her?"
"I am, Sergeant. You're accompanying the others back to Atlantis." John raised an eyebrow to silence the sergeant's protests. "You will go back with Lieutenant Ford, Teyla and the rest of the security team, Sergeant. That's an order. Doctor Beckett will accompany me to the puddle jumper and we will rendezvous with your men. We will then go after Doctor Weir and follow you home."
Sergeant Bates glared and clenched his fists. "Yes, Sir."
John stood with his shoulders tensed, the expression on his face daring anyone to argue. He watched them leave, aware of Doctor Beckett standing beside him. Conscience of the concerned look thrown his way by Teyla.
After the Stargate shut down, he started walking silently in the direction Bates had indicated. It was only when he realised Beckett was trailing behind that he stopped and turned to snap at the doctor to move faster. "What?"
"You think they've hurt her." Beckett stopped walking and stared at him with a face too pale to be natural. "That's why you didn't send me back. You think they've done something."
John shrugged but the casual gesture was offset by the way he couldn't quite meet the doctor's eyes. "You saw the way Brayne looked at her, you know why he wanted her to stay. It's a possibility, Carson, one we need to be prepared for."
They quickened their pace and made the rest of the way in silence, both saying only the barest of words to the two men waiting for them at the puddle jumper.
John landed the puddle jumper a short distance from the building. He was the first one out, striding towards the wreckage with Beckett on his heels. Sergeant Bates' men had no option but to follow, exchanging concerned glances as the strained silence continued.
Their pace slowed as they approached the ruins. For several seconds no one spoke and no one moved. They stood there letting the rain pour down on top of them, unable to do anything but stare.
Beckett was the first to move, carefully picking his way over the bits and pieces of rubble, the urgency inside him rising as he caught sight of a patch of dark hair in the centre of the ruins. "Major Sheppard!" He twisted his head to glance back over his shoulder. "John, she's over here! She's trapped, we're going to have to dig her out."
His words were all it took for the others to move. The next ten minutes were consumed by frenzied activity, with John barking orders to Bates' men while Beckett knelt beside Elizabeth and tried everything he could to get her to wake up.
"Beckett?" When the last lump of rock was lifted, John stood back, clenching his fists against the helplessness he felt. "Is she…?"
"She's alive, Major, but I need to get her back to Atlantis." Beckett looked up and met his gaze. "I don't know how superficial these injuries are. There might be internal bleeding and I don't like the angle of that knee…"
John nodded but couldn't bring himself to look away. "Can we move her?"
"I don't think we have much of a choice. The Barrasians will probably come for her when the weather lets up." Beckett wore a concerned frown as he stood up and surveyed the area around his patient. "Is there anything we could use as a stretcher? We really should update the Jumpers first aid supplies…"
"You can convince her of that when she's stuck in the infirmary, Doc." John joined Sergeant Bates' men in searching the area and within minutes they'd assembled a basic stretcher.
Under Beckett's watchful gaze and quiet guidance, the three soldiers managed to carefully load the unconscious Doctor Weir onto the makeshift stretcher and carried her slowly to the puddle jumper. The doors were beginning to close when the first Barrasian appeared on the horizon and John was forced to leave Elizabeth in Beckett's capable hands so he could get them all home in as few pieces as possible.
After twenty minutes of hovering and generally making a nuisance of himself, John found himself shooed out of the infirmary by one very impatient doctor. He was surprised to find he wasn't alone in the corridor outside of the room where Elizabeth was being taken care of and nodded to acknowledge Ford, Teyla and McKay, all who'd been released from the infirmary just minutes before Elizabeth had been admitted.
"Any news?" McKay was the first to pounce, staring past John into the infirmary, craning his neck as if to try and get a better view. "Did Beckett say if she was going to be okay?"
John shrugged and let his gaze wander around the hallway. "So far, so good. A lot of the scratches are superficial but there's a lot of bruising… He's still checking to make sure there's nothing more serious."
"I'm sure she'll be fine." Teyla's voice was soft, her smile reassuring. She moved to stand beside John and put her hand on his arm. It was only when he looked down at her that he realised the smile didn't quite meet her eyes – and that she was having trouble meeting his gaze. "You need to rest, John. Doctor Beckett will know where to find you if there's any news."
He wanted to protest, wanted to stay and wait it out but soon found himself being gently led away. They walked passed McKay and Ford, with John dragging his feet, and he noticed that the Lieutenant couldn't look him in the eye either.
Nevertheless, he let himself be led away from the infirmary to his quarters, deciding that he needed to get it over with – they needed to talk, and talk tonight, so they could all start again when a new day started. And he was determined to start again, to help Elizabeth – Doctor Weir, his mind corrected – in the running of Atlantis on a day-to-day basis, to take over enough of her duties to make sure she got the rest she needed to get back on her feet again.
Reaching his room, John entered before her and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the side of it and letting his head rest heavily in his hands.
He knew he wasn't the only one with something on his mind when Teyla made no move to join him. No move to comfort him. He lifted his head and met her gaze, noticing that she lingered near the doorway, nervously wringing her hands in front of her.
It was one of the first times he'd seen her look nervous about anything.
"We need to talk," he started quietly, recognising in some part of his mind that those four words seemed to be part of a universal language as far as relationships were concerned.
Teyla didn't question it, didn't question him. She remained where she was standing, her eyes solemn as she nodded her agreement. "I have to tell you something, John. Please let me speak first?"
He opened his mouth to say that he'd rather go first when something stopped him. There was something about the way she was holding herself, something in her eyes that made him think that it was important to her that she got to unburden herself first. "Go ahead."
"I kissed Lieutenant Ford," Teyla blurted out, a horrified expression crossing her face seconds later when it sunk in that she'd actually said it aloud. "It was not our intention but I'm ashamed to say it happened. We were both cold, John, they only gave us one blanket. We were sitting close and then I turned to talk to him and he turned to me and…" Her voice trailed off when his hand rose to stop her mid-sentence. She lowered her gaze guiltily and stared at the floor, clasping her hands tightly together. "I'm sorry."
"You kissed Ford?" His voice was calm. It surprised him. Surprised her more. "Do you have feelings for him, Teyla? Truthfully?"
He knew her answer from the way her gaze remained fixed to the floor, from the way she started wringing her hands.
"I didn't think so then but now… I think I do." She inhaled deeply and her head rose, her eyes finding his. "I'm sorry, John. We are too different. I can't be the woman you need me to be and you…"
"Can't be the man you need me to be," he finished for her with the smallest of smiles. A smile that looked more like a grimace. "I understand, Teyla. I think I feel the same way."
The corners of her mouth twitched, a hint of a sad smile lingering behind. "About Doctor Weir, I presume. Unless there's more to your relationship with Aiden than I've been led to believe…"
He appreciated her attempt at humour and his smile reappeared briefly. "I can assure you you'll get no competition with me there. Promise."
"Good." The smile on her face faded and the nervous expression returned. "Will this affect our friendship? If you would prefer not to have me on your team, I would understand…"
"You're staying on the team, Teyla." He pushed himself up, tired but knowing he wasn't going to get any sleep until he heard from Doctor Beckett. "And I'd like to still be friends. Good friends."
"I would like that also." A genuine smile broke out across her face, radiating relief, and Teyla bowed her head as he approached, an echo of the Athosian hand of friendship she'd offered him once before. Her relief grew when he returned the gesture, his arms moving to encircle her for the briefest of embraces before he took a step back and let her go.
Let go of their failed attempt at a relationship and re-embraced their friendship.
Teyla excused herself with a soft goodnight, wondering whether a kiss on the cheek would be suitable but she decided it wasn't appropriate. Not yet. They needed to take some time to get back to a comfortable friendship before risking potential confusion with affectionate gestures. She closed the door to his room behind her, knowing full well that he would be opening it again and returning to the infirmary as soon as she was gone but she did it anyway, walking quietly to her own room as she argued internally over the best way to tell Lieutenant Ford she thought she had feelings for him.
John waited a full hour before reopening the door and slipping out of the room, wondering on his way to the infirmary if he could slip into the room without Beckett or one of his nurses noticing.
As it was, he didn't need to worry. There was no sign of McKay or Ford to alert anyone to his presence outside the room and when he walked in, he realised why. They were both stood beside one of the beds, wearing identical expressions of relief as Beckett stood fussing over his patient.
His patient who was awake and currently glaring at him for his efforts.
"I'm fine, Carson, just a little tired," Elizabeth argued in a voice that seemed to suggest otherwise. "I'm sure I'd sleep better in my own room so if you'd just let me go…"
"And how are you planning on getting there, Elizabeth? You won't be able to stand until the swelling in your knee goes down, let alone make it to the other side of the compound." Beckett's voice was smug though John was sure he could detect a note of relief in the doctor's voice, relief at getting the chance to argue with her again. At that moment, Beckett looked up and noticed John lingering apart from the group and a knowing grin passed over his face. "I was wondering when you'd come back, Major. As you can see, our patient is doing a lot better."
"If she's arguing already, she must be." John felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders and walked over to the bed, noticing as he did that McKay and Ford quietly excused themselves after bidding Elizabeth good night. He tried not to over-think why they chose to leave when he arrived and focused instead on the disgruntled leader of Atlantis. "So what's the diagnosis, Doc?"
"She'll live, Major," Beckett answered cheerfully. "Like I said before, a lot of the scratches are thankfully superficial. There'll be some nasty bruises but they'll fade. Her knee is the biggest area of concern. It seems Elizabeth here pulled a ligament in her knee trying to get out of the way when the building collapsed. She'll have to rest it for a while, no more adventures off-world until I say so, but it's nothing time and a few ice packs won't fix."
"That's a relief." John gave Elizabeth a small grin and crossed his arms over his chest. "You see what happens when you go off-world? I think we should treat this as a lesson. No more off-world missions for you… Unless it's planned in advance," he added on seeing the focus of her glare shift from Beckett to him.
"If I hadn't gone, you'd still be there," she reminded him with an arched eyebrow. She leaned back against the pillows and fought to keep her eyes open, the dull throbbing in her knee fading as the latest dose of drugs kicked in. "Everyone made it back okay, didn't they?"
"Everyone's fine, thanks to you." He let his arms drop to his sides and put his hands in his pockets, half-wishing that Doctor Beckett would make himself scarce but all-too-aware that the doctor was going nowhere until his patient was left to sleep. "I should go and let you get some sleep."
"I'm not tired." The protest might have worked if not for the yawn that interrupted her before she could add anything else. "Okay, so maybe a little. But it's the drugs."
"I'm sure it is." John grinned again, noticing Beckett roll his eyes in resignation. "I'll stop by tomorrow morning, okay? We need to talk about splitting some of the responsibilities around here."
Her half-closed eyes fluttered open again and Elizabeth stared at him speculatively. "It isn't necessary, John. I can manage. You've got other things to think about…"
"No, I don't." He wasn't sure if she understood then but knew it would only be a matter of time before she did. The city of Atlantis was huge but that didn't stop gossip from spreading like wildfire between those that lived there. "But I want to, so I'll see you in the morning." He lingered for a few more minutes, watching as her eyelids slid shut despite her best efforts. He waited until the expression on her face was relatively peaceful before moving away and motioning to Doctor Beckett to follow. "You sure she's going to be okay, Doc?"
Doctor Beckett smiled tolerantly and started walking towards the infirmary door, discreetly ushering John towards it. "She's going to be fine, John. She just needs to get some sleep and so do you."
It was a testament to how tired he was that John didn't argue. Instead he nodded and let himself be led out of the room. "I'll come by in the morning."
"Make that afternoon," Beckett suggested with a look that clearly added 'and no later'.
With another nod and a tired smile that was far from convincing, John once again headed along the corridor in the direction of his quarters. Beckett watched him go, waiting until he was sure the Major had gone before heading back through the infirmary to the small room he'd claimed as his own.
He sat on his bed as he untied his boots, making short work of removing them before pulling his feet up on top of the comforter, letting his eyes slide shut as his limbs were finally able to rest.
Lying there on his bed, Beckett wondered if finally things were getting back to normal on Atlantis – as normal as they ever got. He hoped so. He noticed more than the others gave him credit for, was intimately familiar with every member of the team he considered to be his friends rather than just his colleagues, and he hoped that the visit to Barrasia, though one they would all no doubt rather forget, would remind them all of that.
Would remind them that they needed to look out for each other, that they needed to be honest with themselves as well as everyone else.
After all, they didn't know what else was waiting for them.
What other storms were brewing not so far away.
Fini