Disclaimer: Kiddy Korner: Unscramble these nifty words: I tnod wno yanhignt. I know it isn't hard. What am I your personal entertainer? Okay, enough of Kiddy Korner. If you're good and review, maybe you'll get another one…man, it's good being on a sugar high…
Chapter Nine: Departure
As our departure date drew nearer, I found myself caught up in the paradox of wanting desperately to leave Rivendell and at the same time longing to be left behind. My desire to go was primarily the result of my lessons with Elrond. While I found no other fault in the Elf lord, spending over three hours a day with him grew to be increasingly tedious, especially when people would make a point of strolling lazily past the window, enjoying the nice weather when I was cooped up inside with a mountain of books and a determined Elf. I was looking forward to the time when such lessons would no longer dominate my schedule.
However, I was a little apprehensive about leaving Rivendell. Yes, I was growing increasingly tired of Elrond's never-ending lectures, but I liked Rivendell. The life was quiet and simple. The only danger was Amdir, who was really more of an overgrown cat with a Napoleon complex. I wasn't looking forward to combat. I didn't want to travel on foot for months without even the basic comfort of an RV van.
And it didn't help that I never really found out how the books ended.
My last two days in Rivendell were mainly spent going from fear to elation at the nearing date of our departure, and my inconsistent emotions led to great distraction on my part. Elrond ended up dismissing me early from my lesson, after labeling me a lost cause and assigning another chapter to read.
Elrond sent for me in the late afternoon. I had sat down in the garden with the intent of reading the chapter he had assigned me, but had taken to staring blankly into space and worrying. Although I welcomed the distraction the written proclamation brought (Elrond was always big on formalities. That and he was also looking for ways to improve my Sindarin as he had substituted some words with Sindarin, a gesture that I did not appreciate), I was slightly wary, expecting another assignment or even another lesson.
I knocked quietly on the door before letting myself in, as was my custom. Elrond had tried to cure me of the habit, but his efforts had more or less been in vain. He was seated at his desk and another Elf sat quietly in the chair I usually occupied. I recognized him as one of the Elves from the Council, the somewhat outspoken one who had such strong opinions regarding the Ring and had volunteered to join the Fellowship. Unfortunately, I hadn't bothered to find out his name.
"Ah, Haley," Elrond greeted, neglecting to chastise me for barging in as he normally did.
"Lord Elrond," I replied. "Sir," I added, nodding at the anonymous Elf in the chair. He nodded in return, his expression somewhat amused, yet unreadable.
"Sit down," Elrond invited, gesturing to the other empty chair in front of his desk. I cautiously approached the chair and lowered myself onto the seat, folding my hands in my lap. "You know Prince Legolas of the Mirkwood realm?" he continued, nodding at the Elf seated next to me.
"Uh, yes. Of course," I lied, smiling at the both of them.
I just called a prince 'sir', I thought to myself. Way to look like an idiot.
"Now, as you know, you are due to leave Rivendell in two days' time," Elrond continued. "Naturally, our lessons will have to come to a halt." I nodded in agreement, trying to hide the big smile that was threatening to break out. "However," he added. I grimaced inwardly. There was a catch. I should have known. "…it is necessary for you to continue your study in Sindarin in order to maintain the knowledge you have acquired thus far and continue your growth. Since I am not accompanying you on this journey, I have asked Legolas to continue your instruction."
Crud.
I had really been looking forward to leaving those lessons in Rivendell.
"Well, wouldn't that be more of an inconvenience?" I asked. "I mean, I'm sure there'll be a lot more important things to do—it's not imperative that I learn Sindarin." Elrond gave a small, knowing smile, almost as if he knew my true intention of shirking the language for as long as possible.
"It is a forty day journey to the Gap of Rohan," he explained. "There will be sufficient time and you will only be instructed when time permits." My shoulders sagged.
"Oh. Great," I replied with feigned enthusiasm. I looked at Legolas, feeling both annoyed and sympathetic. While I didn't necessarily want to learn the language, I could not help but feel slightly sorry for him, as he obviously had no idea what he was getting himself into.
I had thought that packing for vacations was both annoying and tiresome. Unfortunately the next day I quickly realized that packing for vacations was fun compared to packing for a quest.
Elrond had taken it upon himself to arrange my packing for me. Most people would assume that by this, I was free to spend my last day in Rivendell as I wished. Oh no. Not when Elrond's in charge. I returned from our last lesson to find my room had been completely taken over with necessary provisions, my bed nearly hidden under layers of clothes. Before I could even open my mouth to protest, a servant whisked me into the bathroom with an armful of clothes to try on.
I would say that the clothing was the worst part. I hate shopping for clothes with a passion, which did not make the experience any more enjoyable. It seemed as soon as I had figured out which ones fit, someone would open the door and hand me another stack. When I had finally gotten through the pile on the bed, I was made to try on all the clothes that did fit again in order to make sure they were all comfortable. Then we had to go through the process of selecting the ones that I would take with me, which was no less painful.
While most essential items, such as food and most cookware, were being packed as group rather than individually, there was still an awful lot of stuff to choose from. After another painful process which I care not to repeat here, we decided on a canteen, sleeping roll, one knife and fork, a small bowl and plate, flint and steel, a comb, and of course, my clothes. Miraculously, it all managed to fit into a modest backpack. I was then presented with a sword and scabbard, a bow, a quiver full of arrows, and a small hunting knife.
Once it had been determined that I was well-prepared for the upcoming quest, the servants exited the room, taking the remaining, unneeded items with them. Once they were out of earshot, I raided my bathroom for soap. I ended up acquiring twelve bars of soap, three of which I borrowed (without permission) from Arwen, figuring what she doesn't know can't hurt her. After securing my stash within the confines of the backpack, I found a nail file and nail scissors and filed my nails down to practically nothing, deciding that long nails would only get in the way. I slipped both the scissors and the file into my backpack as an afterthought.
I sat quietly on the bed for a moment, staring at the three books stacked neatly upon the night table. I picked them up, running my hands over the smooth covers, inhaling the rich scent of leather. I removed the letter from where I had placed it between the pages of the first book and slipped it gently into my backpack. I rose from the bed and padded softly over to the desk, removing clean sheet of paper and a pen from the right hand drawer.
This is the property of Haley Logan, I printed neatly. Please give these books to Lord Elrond to present to her upon her return to Rivendell. Wiping a lone tear from my cheek, I wrapped some twine around the books and the paper and carefully placed the bundle on the night table. I then crawled on top of the bed, and stared at the ceiling for most of the night, knowing I was leaving a small part of myself behind.
The sun finally rose the next morning, the rosy fingers of dawn stretching languidly across the floor of my room. I let the light warm my toes, listening to the birds cooing and chirping in the trees.
This is what you're leaving, I reminded myself as I watched the world slowly begin to wake up. This peace, this comfort, this small familiarity in a world to which you are a stranger.The words echoed in the confines of my head, my heart beating apprehensively in my chest. I knew I could still change my mind—if I went to Elrond and explained my feelings, he probably would understand, especially if I shed a tear or two. But a small part of me hung resolutely to the idea. I had made this commitment and I was obliged to fulfill it.
With that thought, I slowly rose from my bed and went to bathe.
I was dressed and ready by the time the sun had fully risen in the sky. A maid had come in shortly after I finished dressing and after chastising me for not waiting for her, set about brushing my hair. She braided it into two long plaits, which she twisted into a secure knot at the nape of my neck. After smoothing a few unruly locks back into place, she left the room to bring me some breakfast, despite my protestations that I was not hungry. She returned with two poached eggs and three pieces of toast laden with butter, all of which she insisted I eat. Once I had successfully cleaned my plate, I wrapped a cloak around my shoulders and hefted my pack onto my back. I took one last look at my room, eyes lingering on the small stack of books on the night table, before turning away and slipping quietly down the hallway.
I found most of the Fellowship waiting outside, as was instructed. Boromir and Gandalf had yet to make an appearance and Aragorn was saying goodbye to Arwen in a somewhat secluded area. I knew there was some sort of romantic relationship going on between the two, but at that particular moment Arwen looked deeply saddened and somewhat angered while Aragorn's expression was covered in a veil of impassivity. I glanced at the couple a moment more before allowing them their privacy.
The hobbits had taken it upon themselves to load up a shaggy brown pony I heard Sam refer to as "Bill". Merry and Pippin were having a grand old time, laughing and carrying on as though they were preparing to go on a picnic rather than a quest to destroy evil. If everyone had the same worldview as Merry and Pippin, it would be a much happier place.
Although, judging from the numerous dinners I'd spent with the two, the entire populace would be a lot drunker far more often.
Frodo and Sam laughed good naturedly at the pair, but Frodo seemed somewhat nervous and slightly anxious, which I suppose I can understand, seeing as he was carrying an instrument of evil on his person. His uneasiness passed onto Sam, who constantly asked if he was all right. Frodo would then give a small smile and reply "I'm fine, Sam."
While the hobbits were amusing to observe, Gimli took it upon himself to spoil the sight by alternately scowling at me and Legolas. I'm not sure which irked him more: the fact that Legolas paid absolutely no attention to him or that I found his anger so incredibly amusing that I had problems keeping a straight face. Either way, his scowl seemed to grow deeper with every passing moment.
Boromir arrived next, did not look where he was going, and promptly knocked into me, sending me flying to the ground.
"Oh, forgive me, milady," he apologized, helping me to my feet.
"Don't worry about it," I replied, brushing myself off. My comb and a bar of soap had been knocked out of my bag and I bent to pick them up.
"See," Gimli grumbled to himself, "we have not yet begun and she is already fretting about her appearance." Placing the soap back in my pack, I turned to face him.
"No Gimli," I replied sweetly, "unlike you, I wish to kill the enemy with my blade rather than my smell." The Dwarf's eyes narrowed and he stormed off in the other direction, muttering to himself. However, I saw him later discreetly sniff his underarms. I was indisposed for the next two minutes in a fit of laughter.
Aragorn rejoined the group shortly after I regained control of myself, Gandalf trailing close behind. Arwen stood on the edges of the group with other Elves who had come to see us off, her eyes downcast and troubled. I quietly approached her, tapping her lightly on the arm.
"Hey," I greeted. "Are you all right?"
"Yes," she replied, almost too quickly. "Why shouldn't I be?" She said this as though she were trying to convince herself.
"Okay…good," I replied, deciding not to push the issue.
"I will miss you," she said, gently patting my shoulder, seeming to purposely change the subject.
"Same here. I'm starting to get nervous," I confided. She smiled softly.
"Do not let worry trouble you. You will be safe," she reassured me. I tried to find comfort in her words, but uneasiness still dominated my feelings.
"Thank you," I replied.
"You will look after him for me," she said softly, her voice lowering to a mere whisper. I did not have to ask who 'he' was—the deep sadness and unshed tears in her eyes said more than words ever could.
"I will," I promised. She squeezed my hand gently, her lips turned up in sad, but grateful smile.
"Valar protect you," she said.
"Thank you," I repeated, feeling sad as I realized again how much I would be leaving behind.
"Namárië," she murmured in parting. I returned with the same word, the syllables feeling final, yet strangely beautiful as they rolled off my tongue.
Elrond chose that moment to make his entrance and immediately decided he needed to have a word with me. That conversation primarily consisted of about six reminders to pay attention and work hard on Sindarin and a few other warnings to be careful and use common sense. While Elrond is incredibly wise and respected, pretty much everyone was listening and it produced the same level of discomfort as a parent loudly addressing their child as "honey bunny" at the bus stop in front of everyone and reminding them to be sure to use the bathroom after lunch.
"I wish you luck," he said in closing, which was a great relief.
"Thank you," I replied, hoping to end this conversation quickly.
"And go kick some ass," he bade, which was a quote I had used on numerous occasions. I grinned and tried to hold back a rollicking fit of laughter. You have not experienced true amusement if you have never heard the lord of Imladris use the phrase "go kick some ass" in a sentence.
"I will. Thank you for everything," I replied. He smiled benignly.
"May the Valar protect you," he said. I nodded in reply and made my way back to the odd assortment that I was now part of.
Elrond took his place in front of the Fellowship, his level and dignified voice ringing clear in the morning air.
"The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom," he began. "On you who travel with him, no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will." This brought me mixed feelings of comfort and uneasiness. While I appreciated the fact that there was no ultimatum about the length of travel, I still felt as though I would be obligated to go as far as everyone else. The problem was that I wasn't sure if my endurance would match the rest of the party's. "Farewell," he continued. "Hold to your purpose. May the blessings of Elves and Men and all free folk go with you." I bowed my head with most everyone else in response, the feeling of closure hanging heavy in the air. My time at Rivendell had drawn to an end.
"The Fellowship awaits the Ring-bearer," Gandalf announced, moving slightly to the right in order to accommodate Frodo's exit. The hobbit turned slowly away from the gathering of Elves in front of him, passing quietly beneath the stone arch that marked the entrance to Rivendell. I nodded briefly at Elrond and Arwen before taking my place behind Merry in line.
"Mordor, Gandalf," I heard Frodo whisper, "is it left or right?"
"Left," the wizard replied. I don't know if it was the innocence of this exchange combined with the fact that I was leaving, but I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes and a sad smile tug at my lips.
Our pace was steady as we moved away from Rivendell. I allowed myself one last look at its stunning walls and rich foliage before turning away, locking my eyes on the road in front of me, as the only home I knew slowly disappeared behind me.