Aiight. I got a few reviews saying this story was confusing, i'm hoping this chapter will clear some things up. It's basically Monica and Rachel telling a therapist about what happened between them, Chandler and Joey, and then it's what happened as it happens. The present and the past. I really hope that helps. this chap has no therapist convos.

If you must, flame till your hearts content, flames only fuel me.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Something I Can Never Have

Chapter Two

"Oh my God, I am so sorry!" She frantically started mopping at the mess she had just splattered this stranger with, desperately trying to hold back tears of pure mortification. What if the celebrities were watching? This definitely cancels any chance at an invitation to a huge Hollywood party, if on the off chance they ever did decide to invite her ... hey it could happen. "Oh your shirt is ruined, I'm so sorry, I should've been watching better." She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Pure embarrassment hits anyone's soft spot and it sent tiny rivers flowing from her eyes. Not only had she just drenched this man in coffee but she was now crying on him. If someone could produce a picture of this that would just make this the most perfect day!

"No, its ok ... you don't have to do that. Accidents happen" Oh he was so sweet. She had definitely ruined his GAP sweater, oh God shed' have to buy him a new one now. And its GAP, couldn't have been something cheap could it? Seriously someone take a picture. "I blame myself really, this kind of stuff happens to me all the time."

"I'm so sorry, oh god I'm so-" there was no more tears of embarrassment now. This was a sob fest. Poor guy.

"Hey.. no really its ok" He grabbed her shaky hands that were furiously trying to scrub at a huge streak of caramel macchiato running down his shirt which she was almost certain she was making worse. She couldn't look at him, grab the evidence and run Rachel. She dropped herself to the ground to pick up the mess almost bringing him and his hands down with her. The moment couldn't have been complete without more rambling of how sorry she was, and how this was all her fault. At least she stopped crying. Now all that was running down her face was mascara, lots and lots of it.

"Oh i am so sorry, I'll buy you a new shirt i swear i will, and and- no really you don't have to do that i can get it"

"Well, I helped make this mess, least I could do is help you clean it up." Something about the way he spoke made her comfortable, almost as if she knew him. She could see in his sunglasses something familiar ... kind of weird for someone to be wearing sunglasses and a hat on the dreariest day in mid November ... "You work for Central Perk?" He said laying the nasty filthy napkin back on her tray.

"What? Oh yeah I do. I was coming out here to bring some of the crew their coffee and I'm already over an hour late." She willed him to take his glasses off, she knew if she saw the eyes she'd know him.

He slid his hat off to run a nervous hand through his hair. "Well, I know a lot of people who have been looking for you" He shot her a smile and replaced his hat. "And this" He said motioning to the massive stain on his sweater. "And .. that" Her eyes fell to the muffins smashed now apart of the tiny pebbles. She listened to him laugh to the tone in his voice.

"Oh my God. I really- I really have to go now." She forced out, fumbling to her feet balancing the tray. She turned her back to him in time to feel him grip her arm causing her tray to topple.

"Wait"

"I'm sorry Chandler I just have to- " She realized what she had said when his warm smile faded and his hand dropped from her arm.

Nothing more could have been said to help that situation. She left him standing stained and in a daze, with the mess of Central Perk at his feet.

"What the fuck Chandler that was my favorite shirt you dick! 'Don't worry Joe you can trust me, I wont mess it up' What the hell is this! Please tell me this isn't coffee, Oh my God blueberries don't come out!" He sat like a child being scolded by his mother for getting his school clothes dirty. Watching wondering if he truly was witnessing a grown man attempting to chew the blueberry stain out of his sweater. Yes, he was indeed seeing him trying to suck the coffee out. "You better pray pretreating this will work!"

He couldn't decide whether to find this hysterical or disgusting. "It wasn't my fault, i went looking for the coffee girl" fending off Joey's evil stare when the word coffee was spoken "and well good news i found her"

"You ran into the coffee girl? That's your excuse? That's possibly the worst fucking excuse you've ever come up with."

"Look," digging in his pocket, pulling out a brown speckled napkin. "She dropped this when she ran off, she works for Central Perk."

Joey's glare became more intense. "Your evidence is a napkin? You used to be a lot better at this. Why don't you just admit you're a clumsy mother fucker, and you spilled it, so I can kick your ass and get this over with."

Shooting up out of his chair "I can prove it, the girl, she's probably still working, I'll show her to you."

"I'm sorry Rachel, you're the only one here today. I need you here."

"But Gunther, I've got dried coffee all over me, I'm frozen, and I really just don't think my fragile emotions can handle any more today" She turned her back from him pretending to cry. Crying always sealed the deal she'd be on her way home within minutes. One must always lay it on thick in this situation. Before she had time to hold her breath and conjure up some convincingly real tears Monica came bolting through the door.

Not even seeing the stained up distrot Rachel standing there with obviously fake tears welling up in her eyes, which disappeared the second they made eye contact. It became as if he weren't even there, what was supposed to be her tears of "fragile emotions" turned into an animalistic squeal , and neither he or Monica could decipher if it was a squeal of delight or terror.

"OH MY GOD MONICA!" she scrambled past the counter, past a very confused Gunther, past about 12 startled customers, and up to an impatient Monica.

"Dont say a word Rachel i came for my phone" she looks to her phone to be sure of the number of missed calls. Looking not once but twice, to add extra affect of corse "yep i was right, im actually so popular ive missed no phone calls. Figures, who wants to call the Central Perk groupie to go out? No no she's too busy polluting her social life by waiting around forever on Rachel Greene to once in her life acctually arrive when she says shes going too. Nope no one i know wants to go out with that girl." As if her little outburst had drained her of any remaining energy she fell down on the big couch putting her head in her hands breathing as if she had just run a marathon.

"I just need a cigarette, I need a cigarette, it'll all be ok when I get my cigarette." Rachel had black mailed her into quitting smoking to which she always had the argument of 'i dont smoke too much, you smoke too little'. If she wanted her secret to remain a secret she had to comply. The worst part was, Rachel had possesion of the very pack that she desperatly needed. Her every desire at that moment was to embrace that pack in her hands, rip it open and smoke every single cigarette inside.

With hurt feelings Rachel let herself drop on the couch too, clutching Monica's cigarettes, in a lose fist. "You don't even want to hear about what happened to me in the Park do you?"

"Did you get coffee on my cigarettes?!" frantically looking from the coffee spots on the pack to Rachel. "They could be wet!"

Suddenly the tears she was trying to purge on Gunther started to appear, she watched Monica cave at the sight of her fake puddles. "Look at me, i look like i was mugged!"

"Oh my god were you mugged!" she said, really needing that cigarette now. And noticing the coffee stains, runny mascara stains, genuine stains none of that fake shit she uses on Gunther, poor sap how could he fall for that? What a loser. And finally seeing the dirty knees. My god her friend had been mugged, and all she was worried about was herself, this is what people must have meant when they said she was selfish.

"Well i couldve been mugged!"

"Jesus Rachel, you scared the hell out of me i thought you were- give me a cigarette" ehh being selfish wasnt so bad at times. Sometimes it was just plain necessary.

"No" squeazing the frail paper container in her hands watching Monica cringe at the thought of damaging her precious babies comfortably snuggled inside.

"Rachel... give me.. the cigarettes" it had been a stressful day. And she could kick her own ass for not grabbing a quick smoke while Rachel was getting fake mugged, with her fake tears, and ... and ... her fake nose! " GIVE IT TO ME!" ... and she didnt even care that people were staring.

"If I let you have half of one, half. Will you please listen to my story?"

Her eyes never left the wrinkled pack in Rachels hands, she knew she shouldve got a box instead of a soft pack, cursing her luck, she made a mental note to kick her own ass later ... but to smoke alot first. "You meen something did actually happen?"

"Honestly, youre too observant sometimes. You'll never believe it." finally giving in and tossing Monica the slightly smashed package. She walked back up to the counter to ring up a few customers and to at least pretend to be working, even though she knew Gunther didnt care either way what she did so long as he could stare at her in that perverted way that only 60 year olds could stare at her. Not that the skirt helped her situation any.

By the time she reached the counter Rachel noted that half of the cigarette was already gone. Monica sat down moments later, pack clutched in her hand lighting a new one.

"Jesus Christ."

"Don't start. Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

By the time they reached the coffee house Joey was irate. It felt like 10 degrees outside, he was freezing, and some parts of a mans body just shouldnt be frozen. He knew Chandler was just trying to prolong getting his ass kicked.

"There she is, right there," pecking the glass, pointing to the girl who was standing behind the counter. "That's her."

"Niiice" letting himself for that moment forget about Chandler's execution to wrap his thoughts around her blonde hair and blue eyes "Wait. How do I know that's not some random girl," teeth chattering as he talked. Sighing Chandler grabbed the door. "What are you doing?"

Letting the door swing open causing a gust of warm air to penetrate all five layers of Joey's clothing. "Proving my innocence. Coming?"

"Hell no. And let a mob drag me away?" shaking his head "Dont think so. I hear one squeal and im outta here."

"Unbelievable" he said under his breath. Just as his nerves were catching him, what was he supposed to say to this girl?

Please reveiw, whether you liked it or not.

Ash