Jessica heaved a big sigh and plopped down on her bed. She was
scolding herself for being so stupid. She didn't want to tell Angel about
this. She cared about him. She even thought she loved him, if there is such
a thing. But how could she have messed up this big? Getting and STD? This
is one road she hoped she would never have crossed, but she did. Thank God
it was treatable.
Paige softly knocked on her daughter's door before coming in. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Fine, just fine," Jessica muttered.
"Jessica, tell me something," Paige sat down on Jessica's bed. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Because I'm not hurting anyone but me."
"That's not true," Paige said.
"Well, I learned my lesson okay?"
"I don't think you have."
"Why is that?"
"Because of your attitude. Why are you willing to give yourself away to just anybody? Doesn't your body mean anything to you? Don't you have any respect for yourself?"
"What is there to respect?" Jessica snapped. "I'm an orphan slut that's going no where!"
"You're not a slut, and you're not an orphan, you have me!"
"That's why you gave me up, right?" Jessica's voice was pure anger.
Paige's eyes stung with shocked realization. "Oh, Jessica, I didn't want to give you up, I wanted to keep you so badly. Spinner wouldn't let me."
"If you had wanted me, Spinner wouldn't have stopped you," Jessica hissed bitterly.
Paige knew it was true.
I sat down on my bed, sorting through the bills. I sighed, dreading how much three kids would cost. Maybe it would be better if Sean and I married right away. Better for everyone involved, I mean. I don't know what I was thinking. I couldn't let my children see me pregnant but not married. What impression would that give them?
"Are you shocked that I figured it out, Paige?" Jessica said in bitter disgust.
"Jessica," Paige said. "That is not true. I wanted you so badly, but I was afraid, okay? I was so scared...I was young; I didn't know a damn thing about being a mother. Spinner sure didn't help support my decision to keep you. He refused to allow it. I hated him for making me give you up, and I'm so sorry for the pain it caused you." A tear fell from Paige's eye.
"I don't believe you. You chose open adoption, but you never came to see me. I never got one letter! You never cared about me. Just leave me the hell alone!" Jessica ran from the room and out the front door.
Paige softly knocked on her daughter's door before coming in. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Fine, just fine," Jessica muttered.
"Jessica, tell me something," Paige sat down on Jessica's bed. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Because I'm not hurting anyone but me."
"That's not true," Paige said.
"Well, I learned my lesson okay?"
"I don't think you have."
"Why is that?"
"Because of your attitude. Why are you willing to give yourself away to just anybody? Doesn't your body mean anything to you? Don't you have any respect for yourself?"
"What is there to respect?" Jessica snapped. "I'm an orphan slut that's going no where!"
"You're not a slut, and you're not an orphan, you have me!"
"That's why you gave me up, right?" Jessica's voice was pure anger.
Paige's eyes stung with shocked realization. "Oh, Jessica, I didn't want to give you up, I wanted to keep you so badly. Spinner wouldn't let me."
"If you had wanted me, Spinner wouldn't have stopped you," Jessica hissed bitterly.
Paige knew it was true.
I sat down on my bed, sorting through the bills. I sighed, dreading how much three kids would cost. Maybe it would be better if Sean and I married right away. Better for everyone involved, I mean. I don't know what I was thinking. I couldn't let my children see me pregnant but not married. What impression would that give them?
"Are you shocked that I figured it out, Paige?" Jessica said in bitter disgust.
"Jessica," Paige said. "That is not true. I wanted you so badly, but I was afraid, okay? I was so scared...I was young; I didn't know a damn thing about being a mother. Spinner sure didn't help support my decision to keep you. He refused to allow it. I hated him for making me give you up, and I'm so sorry for the pain it caused you." A tear fell from Paige's eye.
"I don't believe you. You chose open adoption, but you never came to see me. I never got one letter! You never cared about me. Just leave me the hell alone!" Jessica ran from the room and out the front door.