Intoxication

Chapter 13

If you're a little squeamish, I suggest you skip this Chapter. It gets a little graphic. The song featured in this Chapter is Carrickfergus, which is a strange one. They make me sing it at parties, and I think what happens is that anyone who sings it makes up their own lyrics as they go along. I've heard at least fifteen different versions, and this one was sung by Charlotte Church at one point.

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" Care to explain what?"

Cesare's eyes glittered dangerously from behind his mask.

" No lies, Rei."

His voice sounded so ominous, echoing around the room and rolling back to reach Rei's ears. Rei shivered, but it was because he was cold, not frightened.

" I can't lie if I don't know what I'm lying about."

Cesare turned around and sighed, a heavy sound that made Rei shiver again, this time out of fear. Europa appeared in front of Cesare, but he could not see her.

He knows, but he still doesn't have to. All he knows is that there's a page missing. You can play this to your advantage. It's an old book, Rei. Who's to say the page didn't fall out? In fact, who's to say he didn't know this was gonna happen? He's just itching to punish you over this, Rei. He can taste it, and he's so close….

Cesare walked towards the chair, and leaned in close, so close, to Rei's clammy face.

" You tore a page out of this book, Rei. I can only guess as to why, but you broke one of my rules. And so you must be punished."

Cesare sighed again, and Rei was forced to inhale his stinking breath. He ran his hand over Rei's stringy, unkempt but still silky hair.

" I expected better from you, Rei. I didn't want to have to punish you, but I have no choice."

Rei took a deep breath. It was risky, but he didn't care.

" Bullshit."

Cesare straightened, and glared.

" Pardon me?"

Rei leaned forward as far as his restraints could go.

" I said, Bullshit."

Cesare's hand hovered near Rei's shoulder, as though he was itching to slap him.

" Explain yourself, Rei."

" You want to punish me. You've been dying to punish me since I got here, but I never gave you a reason. So you took matters into your own hands, and made a reason yourself."

" Rei…"

Rei leaned back into the chair, the strain showing on his beautiful face.

" You know, you can hit me, rape me, scare the shit out of me if you want, there's nothing I can do about it. But why do you need an excuse to do it? I'm helpless here! I can't fight back!"

Cesare stepped away from the chair, silent. Rei spoke again.

" I know I didn't do anything. And I can't figure out why you need to blame me for something. I've been bending over backwards to keep you happy with me, and even when I do, it's not enough. I don't know how to act around you, because sometimes it seems like you're trying to make me feel comfortable here. Sometimes it seems like you're being nice to me! But other times, it seems like you want to hurt me."

He coughed, a hoarse, moist sound. Cesare drew a handkerchief and held it at Rei's mouth until he was finished. Rei spoke again, quieter this time.

" I'm dying. I don't know how or why, but I'm dying. So if you want to rape me, or kill me, or hit me, just do it. Don't make up reasons. I just don't care anymore."

Rei leaned back and closed his eyes, waiting for the blow. Nothing came, and he opened his eyes when he heard the door slam shut.

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After a few hours, the chill grew in Rei's body. There was no sign of Cesare returning, there was a clock on the wall behind him. He couldn't see it, just heard it tick.

Tick…Tick…

The three girls never materialised, maybe because Rei was too tired to conjure them.

Tick…Tick…

The burning in his stomach eased a little, because he hadn't eaten. But he realised with sickening clarity that his bladder was full and on the point of bursting.

Tick…Tick…

The cold ceased to affect him as a slow heat began to scorch its way from his toes up to his neck. The tremors started again, this time accompanied by a cold sweat. His eyes burned in their sockets.

Tick…Tick…

The room seemed to grow darker, and Rei realised he had to empty his bladder. He did so, feeling thoroughly disgusted but at the same time relieved. As the liquid pooled around his thighs, he reminded himself that Cesare was the shameful one, not him.

Tick…Tick…

More hours passed, agonizingly slow, and Rei passed out a few times. The heat that racked his body made him feel faint.

Tick…Tick…

There was a sharp pain in his head, and then a feeling of liquid coursing from both of his nostrils. Great, a nosebleed, and a pretty bad one. Several drops fell onto his thighs, thick and almost black.

Tick…Tick…

The burn in his stomach flared up again, and he leaned to the side. He vomited painfully, although his stomach was only full of acidic water. The urine around his thighs scalded his legs.

The clock faded from his ears, as the girls reappeared. Europa, with her robe hanging open, smirked at him. She spoke, but he could only see her mouth move as her words eluded him. The nymph kneeled across the room, whispering every now and then. He barely heard her, and not well enough to make out what she was saying.

And then there was Io. Beautiful, childish Io. Her hands were clutched behind her back, and she hopped from one foot to the other.

The proof is in the pudding, pudding.

" You said that before," whispered Rei, wincing when blood fell onto his lips, " I don't know what it means."

Seek and you shall find.

And then she started to sing, her voice sounding wrong compared to the way she spoke.

I wish I was in Carrickfergus,

Where the castle looks out to sea,

Her song seemed to take on a physical form, that wrapped around Io and clothed her in a long white dress.

I would swim over the deepest ocean,

For my true love to be with me,

Her body and face changed to that of another woman, and her hair went from rather short and golden to long and glossy black.

But the sea is wide, and I cannot swim over it,

Nor have I wings to fly,

I wish I had a handsome boatman

To ferry me over, my love and I.

And it was only when the woman smiled at him that he realised who she was.

Mama…?

Her smile widened, her pearly white teeth glinting in the darkness. She continued her song, and the form it took weaved a grand hall around her, a stage for her to sing.

I wish I was in the land of Eireann

Where the mountains reach the sea

Where flowers blossom as I do remember

Where my true love came to me.

It seemed strange that an Italian woman would sing an Irish song to comfort her son, but then Isabella had loved all music, from African tribal songs to German Operas. Carrickfergus was a special place, a haven, an ideal, somewhere one wanted to be in their darkest hour rather than a real location. To Rei, no song could have been more appropriate.

But the sea is wide and I cannot swim over,

Nor have I wings to fly,

Ah, to be back now, in Carrickfergus,

To be together, my love and I.

To be together, my love and I.

I wish I was back home again.

The door swung open, and she vanished. Cesare appeared in his line of sight, clicking his tongue.

" Oh, Rei. I see you've wet yourself. You must be so embarrassed."

Rei's voice was husky from disuse.

" The shame is yours, not mine. You wanted this to happen. Don't expect anything from me."

Cesare unbuckled the restraints and helped him up. But before he dismissed Rei, he made him kneel before him.

" I abhor swearing, Rei. And before you clean your mouth out, I will sully it some more. I claim it as a right for having to listen to your foul language."

Cesare undid his trousers and pulled Rei forward so that the boy's face was right in front of his groin. And Rei was exhausted and feeling so bad, he did what he was told.

When he was finished, Cesare took a small box from his pocket. He opened it in front of Rei. Inside was a small retainer.

" I noticed you have a slight overbite. This will fix it. You can take it out for meals only."

Rei accepted the gift and allowed himself to be escorted back to his room. He stumbled twice along the way.