My baby. My poor, poor baby! How I wish to encircle my arms around body and tell you that it's ok to cry just like I used to so long ago. It seems like for an eternity I have been watching you, watching you and crying for you when you cannot. How I wish I could be pulled from my slumber of death and once again hold you tight against my body, just like when you were a little child.

But you're not a little child, are you? Not anymore. You've grown up and matured into a handsome young man, just like your father.

But my sweet darling, why have you degraded yourself? Why have you degraded yourself into a lowly servant, to those who destroyed our world?

You can't be happy with the life you're leading! It shows on your face, in your beautiful eyes. Your eyes…how they used to be filled with a warm light as you played in the village. How your face was a reflection of the emotions you feel within you…

Now, what are you? What happened to my precious Kumo? The one who laughed so freely, like ringing silver bells on a clear day…

When was the last time you laughed, my darling? Can you even remember? All those long years, spent in solitude, in silent agony…

Show your emotions, my baby, let yourself cry once in awhile! You've been so silent and your suffering has been yours alone…Alone, like a statue in the middle of the sea.

How I wish that fate did not dealt us that horrible card. How I wish that we never had to fight, that we never had to fight with those people. The Count and his Deathlords. The very people you choose to serve now. Now, our world is destroyed, its inhabitants dead, their souls floating in the afterlife…But not you, my sweet one. You…You are still alive, against all odds. Your will has survived and brought you this far, where you patiently wait for a chance for revenge…

Oh, my little love! Do not let hatred and revenge consume your soul!! Do not become a bitter shell of a person, do not let love and hope slip away from your grasp. Because I can see it now…You are starting to lose hope in everything you ever believed in, everything you ever loved…

And now, I stand over you, watching you as I have done for so many years now. Watching, but not speaking. Listening, but not taking action. My dear, you're shaking in your bed right now, but no tears come from your eyes. Have you forgotten how to cry, my little love? Have you forgotten what it is to love and to cherish? To hold and be held?

And you're shaking, but you're saying something over and over again too…

"Otousan…Okaasan…" you softly cry into your pillow and you are shaking even harder now. "Niisama…" you moan softly, remembering the people whom you loved in our world.

I place a hand on your shaking shoulder, but it, of course, passes through your body as if it was never there.

"Otousan…Okaasan…" your cries are getting louder. What are you remembering, my love? "Niisama!" you all but scream into your pillow. "Don't die, don't leave me here…Don't leave me here alone…Please, don't go…"

Oh, my little love…Are you remembering that horrid night where all we fought for was lost? Where our world was destroyed and everyone on it died? Where you were whisked away into a new world, alone and helpless?

You still shake, harder than ever. But, your eyes are dry. You can't…You simply can't cry any longer.

My darling, I will cry for you. I will shed the tears that you cannot. I only ask of one thing for you.

My little love, live life and do not let your dreams be deferred!

--

Son. My son.

How long was it? Since I have last seen you and talked to you face to face?

Too long. Too many years between us. I float listlessly in this strange "heaven" as a spirit, as I watch you slowly grow up and mature into a young man.

A fine young man.

But how long? How long until you deem yourself insane, tortured by the echoes of our world's destruction that still plays in your mind, day by day, hour by hour? How long until you completely break down from being so painfully and utterly alone in this world, surrounded by those who destroyed your world?

At this rate, my son, you will not last long. I have already seen this hopelessness and despair that is engulfing your soul, slowly but surely. Especially after that cruel trick the Count played. To bring back your dead brother, the very one whom we loved and the one you idolized, and try to fight you. How devastated you were!

I saw. As you struck him down, as you clutched his cloak tight to your small frame and cried tears that haven't fallen from your face in years, I saw the urge to follow him.

But then, then you stood up. You stood up and you saw them. The children, the young men and women who dedicate their lives to the destruction of Chaos. And I know what you were thinking in your mind, at that very moment.

I will fight for them. They are my last hope of redemption, my last chance out of this hell I've created for myself.

I watch and I know.

You're my son.

And I, your father.

But banish those sorrowful thoughts! Think of life and live for those who can never live again! You were blessed with life, so use it now! Use it for those who have died! Live in their place!

And for God's sakes, GET A WOMAN ALREADY!

AN: I'll admit it, the last one was pretty hard to get. It was the "hoodies" (as I call them) or the "Apathetics" (as the official people call 'em) You know, the people we meet in like episode 3? Yeah…them…

Many thanks to Kylre (AKA my idol) for reviewing this wonderful (ha, I wish) story. Many thanks to Feral Claw, for reminding me of the love of this series. And many thanks to those who've read, but have not reviewed. I love you all!!

Yeah, and this whole journal entry was so depressing so I figured his dad would have ended it with some silly comment. Like that.