The Impenetrable Love Seat

(Let us take you away from the story for just a while and fill you in on the history of the Impenetrable Love Seat. I swear it ties together, just read.)

Once upon a time in a far away land called Wallmar (this is in no relation to the store Walmart) there was a Love Seat. Now, this was no regular Love Seat. This Love Seat had supernatural powers...like the kind you see on television or in the movie....only BETTER. Everyone was afraid of this Love Seat, so they banished him to another faraway land called Caucasia. It got money by working at an unknown fast food restaurant called McGonagalds. Finally after working its seat off, the Love Seat rented an unfurnished room sitting in the middle of the restaurant. (It makes sense in our mind, don't question the prodigies.) It let a sad depressed life, and no one would talk to it or be its friend. One day it was taking a walk in a back alley(it wasn't allowed in parks) and it encountered a young man with greasy hair aiming his wand towards the wall and crying(It had nothing to aim at) (next paragraph)

The boy whirled around, "Ehhhhh what a lovely ride. You're so sexy it hurts"

He broke into Lord of the Dance and stripped off all of his "clothing". The Love Seat quivered in fear and backed up against a cement bush.

In a deep husky voice, the young man said "Come on pussy, p-p-p-pussy cat."

He came into the light revealing his waxy pale complexion. IT WAS SNIVELLY!!!!!!! He was at the tender age of eighteen. The Love Seat was frozen in place. (Snivelly had cast a spell on it...with his other wand) Snape clambered awkwardly on top of the Love Seat and attempted to thrust. It didn't work.

"WHY DON'T YOU WORK??" Severus screamed in teenaged angst.

The Love Seat started softly crying.

"Y-you can see my powers?"

"What are you talking about you worthless piece of upholstery?"

"Fourscore and Seven years ago I was dating a recliner...and boy did he have a mouth like a hoover...I mean. Well ANYWAY, we were dating, and he asked me to marry him. I laughed and said HELL NO BIAAAATCH. So then he cursed me to be impenetrable to my true love. The only way this curse can be broken...is marriage. This must mean...Y-O-U are my true love."

TO BE CONTINUED....(more to come later randomly throughout this story)

And yes we know this chapter is INCREDIBLY short, but you know what? Today is Katie's birthday so it's ok. (Katie is one of the authors in case you were wondering...I am Leah.) Thank You.