I want my life

I turned around to see a small gift on the ground in the middle of the doorway. Brown paper box wrapped with white string. I smiled and walked over to it. I peeled off a card and read it. "Happy birthday Botan,"

I blinked this stuff is meant for Botan not me...well me but not me. I thought. Who was it from? I didn't know so I just picked up the rose and the box and placed it on the table where soon many other gifts would be.

"Oki Ran?" Kurama knocked the frame of the door before walking in. "The party is tomorrow and I thought you might need some help." He said

"Oh okay, sure. I was just going to make a cake, you know help me with that, I'm not much of a cook." I said and after picking up my groceries we walked into the kitchen.

I pulled out a huge glass bowl and pored in the flour, eggs and milk. Kurama added the vanilla and sugar, along with the margarine. I turned on the mixer but the setting was set to five sending cake mix everywhere. I turned off the mixer. And peeled egg from my face. "Oh great now I have to get more cake mix." I said

"Or." Kurama paused dusting himself off. He was covered in flour. "We could just make cupcakes." He smiled "there should be plenty, but let me help you." I nodded "finish stirring." He took the mixer away and handed me a wooden spoon. "Now spin in one way so that air can get in. it will be fluffier that way." He said

"I'll just clean this up." He walked to the sink and wet a rag and began to clean the kitchen.

"Thank you, Kurama." I smiled and started to mix with the spoon. "My arm is getting tired I said, "can I stop now?" I asked and he looked up at the bowl.

"No, just a little bit more." He said and stood behind me, he hands rested on my shoulders and slid his hands down the length of my arms. I closed my eyes but kept stirring until his hands reached mine. On rested on my left hand that I was using to hold the bowl steady and the other rested on my right that held the spoon.

"There." He pulled away and I felt cold. He turned me around and took the bowl. He stuck his finger in and tasted it. He made a bitter face and grabbed ingredients. I watched him as he added more sugar and water, cinnamon. This time a tried it. I put a bit on my finger and licked the tip leaving a little just in case it was bad.

"Well?" Kurama asked

"It's good, try some I pointed toward the bowl with my covered finger. Kurama didn't reach for the bowl, he grabbed my finger and put it in his mouth, I never would have guessed that Kurama could be so forward, I had to admit I liked this side of him.

"It is good." He said and leaned down to kiss me, but something made him stop. "I can't," he said.

"Why?' I asked him with sad eyes

"Because I'm in love with someone else, you remind me so much of her, that's why I can't, because when I look at you I see her. It would be wrong." Kurama said

"Oh," I said I wondered whom he was talking about, I decided that it could not hurt to asked "who is she?"

"Her name is Botan." he said and looked away. I gasped right then and there I wanted to tell him who I was. It hurt so bad that I couldn't and he was hurting too. "I'm sorry." He whispered and turned to leave.

"Don't go." I said "I'm not mad, just don't leave like this, we can just be friends if you want." I said but deep down I wanted my life back. I hated waiting for some demon to take the key from me. I knew he was out there and it would only be a matter of time before he found me. "Please, I just don't want to be alone." I said

"You sure you are okay with this?" he asked

"Yes you silly boy, now help me clean this mess you made.' I teased

"The mess I made?" he questioned with his eyes, "I don't think so." He said and smiled

'Oh Kurama, I wish I could tell you who I was, because I love you too. Maybe one day you will be able to say it to me...the party. Maybe there' I smiled

That night

Later that night I went to bed and visions of Kurama filled my head I began to wonder where we would get married and how many kids were would have. 'Great I am acting like a little girl.' I giggled.

I fell asleep moments later only to be hunted by a dream. I was walking down the aisle with lord Koenma giving me away to Kurama, who wore a black tux. Yusuke and Kuwabara stood next to Hiei who was his best man. The girls were all my brides maids but Kaiko was my made of honor.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The minister said

Then the dream changed, some was trying to get into my mind. Something was searching for something.

:: Who are you?::

:: Botan...Is your true name...Oki ran is Botan.::

:: How will he take this? I'll show you.::

The dream turned back to the wedding. Someone in the crowd stood up. "She is a fake, she is Oki Ran."

Kurama looked at me as my features turned form Botan to Oki ran. Kurama's smiled faded and I fell into a world of black. :: You lied to him and them they will leave you, for you could not trust them...:: the voice said "traitor."