Dearest Yamcha

by letgo

Summary: Bulma confronts her feelings and tries to explain them to Yamcha. She reflects on the past and asks him many questions in a diary like letter.

Dearest Yamcha,

How can I explain? It was, intangible, at least at first. Something, changed, and I have no idea what. Why did it happen? Was there a reason?

How can a simple event turn into a catastrophe in just milliseconds? A simple question escalade into so much more? A misunderstanding turn reality?

I never meant to harm you. But I did, and I am so sorry. I truly did love you, but in a different way. I still love you, but I realize that I feel differently about you. You, you, oh this is so hard. I never thought that anything could be as hard as this.

Wow, I'm crying. I never thought I would cry over the act of writing you a letter.

We had so many good times. Remember when we went to that party and you ended up drunk and I had to take you home? I just remembered that. It's funny, now that I'm trying to a write a meaningful letter to you, there's nothing. I swear that it was so much easier to write all those silly love letters.

What happened? Was your death and me going to Planet Namek that changed it all? Or was it before? Were we falling apart before we were even aware of it? Why does this feel like a break up letter when it's not?

I know, it is probably salt in the wound, but there was something that drew me to him. I have no idea what it was, but something about him drives me wild in a way you never did. I don't mean to hurt more than I have, but you know, you hurt me, too. I felt like I had to act around you. I felt like I was under a microscope, being the heiress to Capsule Corporation. It is so lonely, I want to crack under the pressure at times. You know me better than anyone, including Vegeta. It's hard to forget our past together, and I don't want to.

I know realize that I loved you as a friend, and like a brother. I felt differently when we were younger, but now, I love you like I love Goku and Krillen. We four grew up a lot in each others company and we are like our own little family with our own memories that we alone hold. The little family we have has grown, first with Master Roshi, the old perv, and Oolong, out little piggy perv. Of course, Puar has always been apart of our family as well. Then Tien, Choatzu, and Launch joined us. Soon, we had Chichi and Gohan become members of our family, as Goku married and had his son.

When did Piccolo become part of the family, I wonder. Somehow, it feels like he's always been on our side even though he hasn't. And then, it was Vegeta's turn, and somehow, like Piccolo, he became a part of our family. And now, my baby Trunks.

We have changed, evolved, and somehow, it all seems like a dream, or a story that's happened to someone else. Why do we change? I'm scared of the future, what if something goes wrong and our world ends up like the Future Trunks. You are my confident, my secret keeper.

Maybe it's because we've known each other for so long, and I'm sorry if this seems like a burden to you, but I feel like I can tell you anything, even the things I keep hidden from Vegeta.

Why is it you that I can feel so comfortable around when I am now with Vegeta. Taken that our relationship has not advanced much, but still.

I love Vegeta, and it's totally different from what I felt for you.

Yamcha, I'm sorry for hurting you, but, I did love you, and I still do, only differently, yet the same as before.

You were and are my best friend,

Bulma

P.S. After much consideration, I will send you this letter in hopes that you'll understand.

A/N: Like I stated before, it's a very diary type letter to Yamcha from a new mother Bulma. I did a Yamcha fic, and people liked it. They said it gave him a voice he rarely receives, and I agree. But, people never give Bulma the justice she deserves either. She is either made out to be a poor, tragic victim, or a slut. I do not own anything in this fic.