Chapter Twenty Four: The Infirmary Duel
"Enervate," someone said, and Harry felt life flowing into his veins once more, but he did not open his eyes. He had no desire to do so. He was quite convinced that the world would be a better place if he could just keep his eyes closed.
"Enervate," came Professor McGonagall's worried voice, and Harry groaned and rolled over on his side, squeezing his eyes tight against the light that threatened to penetrate his lids.
"Oh come on, Harry," he heard Ginny say irritably. "It's not the end of the world. We all made the same mistake you did. Quit sulking!"
"You wouldn't have done anything if it hadn't been for me," Harry said sullenly without opening his eyes, his face pressed into the pillow, muffling his voice.
"Well aren't you the prideful prick," Draco sneered. "Saint Potter controls the actions and destinies of all who cross his path. Get off it, Potter. We all went, and we all interfered with the Order. And we all made our own choices."
Harry turned slightly and peered at Draco through one eye while keeping the other buried in the pillow. "Well you sure know how to cheer a person up, don't you! Does that usually work for you, throwing out insults and all?"
Draco grinned mischievously and drawled, "Well, since you're such a special case, I made an exception to my normally congenial disposition."
Harry smirked in spite of himself and tossed his pillow at Malfoy. Caught off guard, the fluffy thing caught Draco square in the face and he staggered backward slightly.
"Oh, yeah, you've got the reflexes of a true seeker there!" Harry teased. "Perhaps if we made the snitch as big as that pillow you could even catch it before me next year!"
"O.K, that's over the line," Malfoy warned, his eyes flashing dangerously, even as the corners of his mouth twitched with the effort to keep from laughing. "You're going to get creamed for that one!" Malfoy whipped out his wand and cast a quick water charm, dousing Harry thoroughly.
"Aaaahhrrrg!" Harry shouted as he jumped up off the dripping bed and onto his feet in a single motion. "Where's my wand?"
"Right here, Harry," Ron said, picking it up off the night stand and handing it to him.
"All right, Malfoy, you asked for it!" Harry yelled as he aimed, "Ferula Totalis!" Bandages flew out of Harry's wand and began to wrap themselves around Draco's entire body, one limb at a time.
Ron doubled over with laughter. "It's Mummy Malfoy!" he gasped. Hermione and Ginny snickered.
"If you think that's funny, try this one on for size," Draco said and he aimed his wand at Ron who was now clutching his stomach on the floor. "Reticulata Inculcare," he cried, and Ron was suddenly covered from head to toe in a checkerboard pattern. "There," Draco sneered, "Now we can play chess on your face!"
"WHAT?!" Ron yelled as he ran to the nearest mirror and gaped at his reflection. "Oh now you're really asking for it!"
Ron pulled his own wand from his pocket and said quite calmly, "Missionus loo!" Draco was suddenly pulled backward into the infirmary bathroom, which was quite small. As soon as he was in, the door slammed shut.
"Very funny, Weasley. Now let me out of here," Draco called.
"Where did you learn that spell?" Harry asked between peels of laughter.
"From my mum, of course," Ron replied. "Anyone who grows up in a wizarding family knows that one!"
"It's how witches toilet train their kids, Harry," Ginny explained. "Mum would watch for us to show signs of needing to go, then flick her wand at us and we'd be stuck in there until we did our business!"
"So, then, Malfoy's stuck in there until…" Harry looked from Ginny to Ron.
"Until he uses the toilet, yeah," Ginny confirmed. Harry rolled on the floor and clutched his stomach as he laughed heartily. Hermione, though making a show of her disapproval of their sparring in the infirmary, chuckled somewhat as she stood behind Ron and Ginny and raised her eyebrows at the closed bathroom door.
"Aw, come on," Draco whined, "let me out."
"Can't," Ron chuckled, "There's no counter spell except to pee and flush, Malfoy. Surely you know that!"
"You wanna make a bet?" Malfoy shouted, and Harry and Ron looked at each other worriedly. "Wizmatta," they heard the Slytherin say, and instantly the toilet flushed and the door opened.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Ron said, utterly astonished.
"My nanny tried that on me when I was three," Draco drawled. "Father had to hire a new nanny after that!"
"They let you have a wand when you were three?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Of course they did," Draco replied as though it were the most natural thing in the world for a three year old to cast spells on a regular basis, never mind the underage wizardry statutes. "Malfoy Manor is protected by all kinds of spells, some of which shield the estate from the prying eyes of the Ministry. That's why You-Know-Who likes it so well as a hide out right now."
"So you were doing magic at home every summer?" Ginny asked jealously.
"For as long as I can remember," Draco said haughtily.
"Fat lot of good it did you," Harry chided. "I can out-duel you any day, and I didn't even know I was a wizard until I was eleven."
"Oh, you think so, Potter? Why don't you give it a try, then?"
"He already did," Hermione reminded them both. "He skunked you twice in D.A. practices, as did I." She pursed her lips in a perfect imitation of Professor McGonagall.
"I let you win on purpose all those times," Draco argued. "I had to make you think you were in control of things or you might have turned me out."
"All right then," Harry said. He settled himself into a dueling stance; his feet planted firmly, the right slightly in front of the left, his shoulders squared. "Let's go, you and me."
"Aren't you going to call a second?" Draco asked slyly.
"What? Why?" Harry was baffled.
"In any proper duel, each dueler has a second, to take over if he gets injured or killed," Draco explained condescendingly, "Who's your second?"
"Fine then, Ron can be my second," Harry said irritably.
"Great, then I choose Ginny," Draco smiled wickedly.
"WHAT?!" Harry exclaimed, alarmed. "You can't do that!"
"Why not?" Draco shrugged and tilted his head to the side. "Are you afraid to fight your girlfriend, Potter? You think she might be quicker than you?"
"I know she's quicker than me," Harry admitted, "and smarter too. Besides, I couldn't possibly hex her…"
"All the better as insurance for me," Draco drawled lazily. "Shall we then?"
"You slimy little cockroach!" Harry said between gritted teeth.
"Go on, give it your best shot, Potter!" Draco goaded him.
"Petrificus Totalis," Harry shouted.
"Protego, Furnunculous!" Draco returned.
"Protego, Expelliarmus!"
"Protego, Mestalis!"
"Pro…aargh!" Harry's shield was not quite fast enough and he found himself suddenly encased in bronze-like armor, minus the hinges, unable to move a muscle.
"Ah, there you have it, I win," Draco praised himself. "Will the second step forward or concede?"
"I wouldn't concede to you if my life depended on it, Malfoy," Ron bellowed. Hermione rolled her eyes and stepped further away from the line of fire.
"You're going to get us all into trouble again," she warned.
"Lighten up, Granger, it's just a spot of fun," Draco sneered.
"Ferrous Incarcerous," Ron shouted, and Draco was caught off guard, his attention having been diverted by Hermione's warning, and he was suddenly locked behind the heavy bars of an iron cage.
"You have a real fetish for bondage, haven't you," Draco smirked at Ron teasingly. "You better be careful with this one, Granger."
Hermione visibly bristled at the insinuation Draco was making and raised her wand. "That does it, I'm going to silence that wicked tongue of yours! Quietus Totalis!" Draco fell backward clutching his throat and coughing silently. His eyes began to water with the effort to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he sat glaring at Hermione from behind the bars of Ron's conjured jail cell.
"What the devil is going on in here?" Madame Pomfrey shrieked as she charged into the infirmary through the double doors. She took in the students, Draco wrapped in bandages and trapped in an iron cage, Ron's skin, clothes, hair, and all covered in a red and black checkerboard pattern, and Harry encased in bronze-like metal. She strode directly over to the fireplace, tossed in a handful of green powder, and stuck her head in.
"Headmaster," she called, "you're assistance, please!"
Ron, Draco, Hermione and Ginny looked at each other in confusion. Harry sighed from within his bronze confinement.
"What seems to be the problem, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked kindly as he stepped out of the fireplace and looked around the room. "Ah, I see. Thank you for calling it to my attention, Madame Pomfrey. I think perhaps leaving them just as they are is the best punishment we could give them. Miss Granger and Miss Weasley, will you kindly stay with them and release them from their various fixes in two hours time?" The headmaster turned away from the astonished students and stepped back into the fire. With a flash of green flame he was gone again, and Harry's friends stood staring at the fireplace, ashen faced and bug-eyed.
"What? Who? How…?" Ron stammered and he turned to look at the bronze statue that was Harry.
"He never went to Malfoy Manor in the first place," Harry explained. Each word echoed in his ears within his encasement, and he groaned, knowing they would want a full explanation now.
"What do you mean he never went? He died; we all saw him," Hermione asked predictably.
"Don't tell me it was another double!" Ginny exclaimed, shaking her head with disbelief.
"That's exactly what it was," Harry said. He tried to nod, but ended up clunking his head on the nose-bridge of the brass statue surrounding him. "Hermione, can't you get me out of this thing?"
"Sorry, Harry. I really don't know how!" Hermione responded. "I'll have to ask Madame Pomfrey for help, and I'm quite certain she won't give it until those two hours are up."
There was a clanging noise from the other side of the room and Hermione turned around to look toward the sound. Harry tried to peer around her bushy hair to see what was up, but could not bend sufficiently to see anything but brown curls.
"What was that, Malfoy?" Hermione taunted. "I'm sorry, I just can't hear you." She finally moved out of Harry's line of sight as she moved closer to Draco's cage. "You need to go to the restroom now?" she mocked him. "I guess you should have taken advantage of that chance when you had it! I guess it's going to be a long two hours for you, then, isn't it." Ron and Ginny were laughing their heads off at this, but Harry frowned. He knew exactly how Malfoy felt! And it really was going to be a very long two hours.
"So, what ever happened to those three missing Slytherins?" Harry asked the others to distract himself from the growing urgency in his loins. He saw Draco point toward the far end of the hospital wing, and though Harry could not see what was over there, he got the general idea.
"Apparently Dobby found the Slytherins in the corridor before you sent those two boys out to get them," Ginny further explained. "He started bringing them here, but had only moved those three before the others were brought into the Slytherin common room."
"Dobby?" Harry muttered. "How is it that I never even thought of that when I was the one who instructed the D.A. to tell Dobby to report to me about missing students? He was probably on his way to make his report when he came across the Slytherins we leveled!"
"I expect that's what happened in a nutshell," Ginny agreed. "But I really think Lupin was awfully harsh on you, Harry. I thought you were both brave and thoughtful to try to help the Order. It was just an honest mistake."
"No, he was right," Harry sighed miserably. "I have…what did you call it last year, Hermione? A saving people thing, I think you said."
Hermione sighed as well. "But that's exactly what we all love so much about you, Harry! You're noble and brave. If any one of us were in a scrape, we know you would be there to help us get out of it. And we just want to do the same for you. We just have to be more willing to follow orders next time, that's all."
"Hermione," Harry said quietly, "You're really something! Do you know that?"
"We all know that, Harry," Ron piped up proudly, and Hermione grinned bashfully.