Chapter Two: The Real Me
Written by: R. A. Rohde
18 January 2005

Disclaimer: The enchanting and sometimes frightening magical world of Harry Potter belongs completely to J. K. Rowling. In no way am I trying to contest this, and neither am I profiting in any way from what I have written. I am merely playing in the universe she created.

The song The Real Me belongs to Jaci Velasquez, and the lyrics are (unfortunately) used without permission. I am not, however, profiting in any manner from this use.

People think I've got it all together
With the show of my sweet, sweet smile
But do they know if I've been happy ever?
Pull up a chair 'cause this may take a while
O. K. so here's the thing

I've got my bad days
And some are even worse
I can be a blessing
And you know, I can be a curse
I tremble at rejection
I'm scared to be alone
Sometimes I may be selfish
But I always make it home

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be?
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me

So now you see that I am far from perfect
I will fall and I will make mistakes
But I am here and this has taken courage
Will you abandon me or will you stay?

I know that I'm demanding
And sometimes insecure
I think I've got the answers
But then I'm not so sure
I sometimes need attention
A little more than I should
But there is a part of me
That'd give the whole world if I could

This is the real me
Am I the girl that you want me to be?
This is the real me
With flaws and fears of intimacy
This is the real me

Now that I've gone and let you in
And I no longer will pretend
Will you please still be my friend?

Vanessa woke early the morning of 29 July, the anticipation and excitement she'd felt since receiving a second letter from Hogwarts making it impossible for her to sleep in. The pale, greying light that spilled into her bedroom assured her that she was the only person awake in the house, and she sat on her bed for a moment, wondering what to do.

A quick glance at her desk showed that her latest Hogwarts missive was exactly where she'd put it the night before, so quietly she crept across the room, picking the thick parchment up with a grin.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms. Quinlan,
As your reply owl determining your status at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has not yet been received, we would like to remind you that you have only until 31 July to accept or decline your position as a student.
Recognizing that familial circumstances likely make use of the owl post both inconvenient and unprecedented, an alternative method of reply is thus offered: an orientation session for students and parents of non-wizarding origin shall be held Friday, 29 July, beginning at 11:00AM. Please come prepared to purchase school supplies in the event that you decide to enroll. To meet for the orientation center, please arrive promptly at 11:00AM at Charing Cross Road, London, in front of Inkling's Books. A school representative will meet you at that time.
Yours sincerely,
Severus Snape
Deputy Headmaster

It had taken two hours of begging, whining, and even crying, for Vanessa to convince her mother that they should at least attend the orientation, but she had done it. Part of the reason her mom had yielded, Vanessa knew, was because of how rare that display actually was. For her part, Vanessa was every bit as shocked as her mom at just how determined she was to attend, but she couldn't deny the fact that she wanted to go to Hogwarts more than she'd ever wanted anything before in her life. It made no sense whatsoever, for her to be so desperately set upon something she knew literally nothing about. After all, the only information she'd received so far was an acceptance letter, a rather long list of school supplies, and an invitation to orientation.

That's why we're going to the orientation today, Vanessa told herself, placing the parchment back on her desk, because we need to learn more about Hogwarts.

But even as she made her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, she couldn't help admitting that was a lie. Something inside her just knew with an absolute certainty that she had to go to Hogwarts; it wasn't a desire so much as a strange need, almost as though the mysterious school was where she belonged. And with the same kind of instinctive knowledge, Vanessa knew that if she could prove there was a wizarding world, she had just as well assured her place at Hogwarts.

In a way, Vanessa sensed her thoughts were slightly less than perfectly honest, and she was surprised that the realization didn't bother her.

'I'm not hurting anyone,' she told herself aloud after she'd gotten dressed and headed downstairs for an early breakfast, 'but I have to go to Hogwarts. And Daddy always says that if I know what I want I should go for it.'

The small pep-talk made her feel better, and by the time she finished her toast, her parents were hurrying to make their own breakfasts.

As her mum was convinced the orientation was a hoax, and thus would take no more than twenty minutes or so of their time, they had decided to make a day out of it, and simply wander around London. So, at 10:50 precisely, after spending a little over a half-hour at Inkling's Books, Vanessa dragged both of her parents outside, where already a small group of people stood.

There were three other kids her age with their parents, and with a start, Vanessa realized she was the only girl. That, added with her nervous anticipation of what was to come, left her quite speechless as she and her parents joined the huddle of people, making their total number rise to eleven.

'Margaret Quinlan, is that you? Goodness, I can't believe I'm seeing you here!'

Vanessa watched, a little curious, as her mother greeted an intelligent-looking middle-aged woman from the other side of the group. The boy beside the woman shared her coolly intelligent gaze, though he was nowhere near as friendly, and his blue-green eyes informed Vanessa that she was certainly not worth his notice. Deciding that a glare would be wasted on him, she turned to the boy closest to her instead.

'Hi, I'm Vanessa Quinlan.'

The boy, of average height and a tad pudgy, with messy brown hair and eager eyes, smiled at her greeting. 'Nice to meet you. My name's Andrew Darrow, but everyone calls me Drew. You can too, if you want to.'

'Thanks Drew. So, you're here for Hogwarts, too?'

Vanessa blushed as soon as she asked, feeling stupid for asking such an obvious question. "That was stupid of me," she said hurriedly, before Drew had a chance to reply, 'of course you're for Hogwarts. Sorry,' she added at last, noticing the cruel smile plastered across the face of the boy with the blue-green eyes.

Drew didn't seem to mind, though, and he grinned, saying, 'It wasn't stupid; I was going to ask you the same thing.'

Drew turned and motioned to his parents, who were standing behind him and appeared to be in a deep discussion about the pile of books they carried. 'My parents were so excited when I got my letter. My dad's family's been going to Eton for as long anyone can remember, but nobody thought I'd manage it. But this way, I don't even have to worry about it, and Mum and Dad can still be proud of me.'

Then and there, seeing Drew's kind, earnest face, determined to make his parents proud, Vanessa decided she liked him, liked him very much. 'You'll make them proud, I know.' Drew grinned his thanks, and she smiled back, happy to have found a friend before even orientation had begun. 'I still have to convince my Mum to let me go to Hogwarts. She wants me to go to her old school, in Wales, but I have to go Hogwarts!'

The last bit came out more forcefully than Vanessa had intended, and she blushed again, embarrassed by her fervor. But again, Drew only smiled and nodded his understanding.

Vanessa glanced at her parents to make sure they hadn't heard her, and stared. A petite, brown-haired woman walked towards the group, which now included two more boys and another girl. She was dressed in a pair of long, flowing robes, their deep blue colour twinkling in the sunlight. Even stranger was her hat, a beautiful midnight-coloured affair with a single, long silver feather sandwiched between a pair of shorter black ones.

The woman stopped before the group of strangers and smiled tightly, her eyes scanning them all as she motioned for them to follow her. As they moved forward, headed towards a dingy pub Vanessa was certain hadn't been there earlier, she could see her parents looked every bit as enthralled as everyone else, and smiled in relief.

This orientation idea was brilliant, whoever thought it up!

Once in the pub – which was every bit as shabby on the inside as it appeared on the outside – the woman motioned for everyone to sit in the back. They were seated quickly, and she smiled again, though Vanessa noticed that the expression seemed to be a very poorly-worn mask, rather than any real look warmth.

'Good morning to all of you. My name is Professor Granger; I teach Arithmancy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and am your orientation guide today.' Professor Granger fell silent for a moment, making certain there were no immediate questions or protestations, before continuing. 'Every child present here today has been invited to Hogwarts because he or she has magical abilities and powers. Please understand that it is not my job or desire to engage any of you in a debate over the existence of magic.'

At that, Vanessa's mum, who'd begun to stir restlessly at the first mention of magic, settled and waited for the next surprising declaration.

'Rather, I am here to help each and every prospective student with a non-magical background make a smooth transition to Hogwarts and wizarding life. The wizarding world is a separate and equally challenging culture from the one in which you live now. The majority of students attending Hogwarts come from a magical background, and already understands rules, laws, and behaviours that you are not yet even familiar with. However, after a few months at Hogwarts – and often even less time – your child will be every bit as comfortable with this new world as I am.'

Professor Granger smiled softly, and this time Vanessa could see that she meant it. The young woman's eyes were soft for a moment, until she began to speak again. 'I know because it took only a matter of weeks for me.'

Apparently that statement was important, because Vanessa could hear her mother's sharp intake of breath, but she ignored it to focus on Professor Granger's words.

'Before I continue, however, I need to know who in this assembly is currently considering allowing their child to attend Hogwarts. Please stand if you have not already decided against it.'

Drew's parents stood immediately, followed by the middle-aged woman who'd greeted her mum earlier, and the other girl's parents. Angrily, Vanessa turned to her parents, to see her father slowly stand and pull her mum up alongside him. Professor Granger waited a moment more, and another boy's parents stood, but the other two families remained seated, much to the boys' obvious consternation.

'Very well. Those of you standing please follow me. If you five could be so kind as to remain with Mr. Shacklebolt for a moment,' Professor Granger gestured to a handsome, older man Vanessa hadn't even noticed, 'I would be most obliged. He will only take a few minutes of your time, and then you will have the rest of your day. Feel free to stay and order lunch if you'd like, but let Mr. Shacklebolt know before doing so.'

Vanessa grinned widely at her parents as they followed Professor Granger into the back of the pub, crowding into a small, empty room. Her parents looked as confused as she felt, but they smiled back at her, a hint of excitement in her mum's eyes.

Since they were in the back of the group, Vanessa couldn't see what exactly the professor was doing, but suddenly, the bricks making up the back wall began to fold in on themselves, slowly revealing a full, bustling street. People, dressed as oddly as Professor Granger, and many even more so, walked from store to store. The stores themselves seemed to have leapt directly from the pages of a storybook and into real life, and Vanessa stared as they passed an ice cream shop, and made their way to a large square.

Professor Granger once again stood before them, a light grin resting on her face, making her seem pretty despite the bushy hair sitting below her hat. 'I hope that this, more than any discussion, has begun to convince you that magic does indeed exist. I cannot force any of you to allow your children to attend Hogwarts, and I would not want to. But I can tell you from experience that the years I spent at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were the most wonderful years of my life. Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster, is considered to be one of the most powerful wizards of his generation, and many others besides. Our deputy headmaster also serves as the professor of Potions, and he is one of the few Potions Masters living in the United Kingdom. I am the Arithmancy professor, as I've said before, and I will receive the title of Arithmancy Mistress in less than two weeks, though I will not be teaching first year students. The rest of the staff is just as capable, and we are all dedicated to the students.

'I would like to give you all a small bit of background, before I ask you to make your decision. Hogwarts is considered to be the greatest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and it is also the safest location in all of Europe. There are four houses in Hogwarts: Gryffindor, of which I am Head, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each House of course has its own separate dormitories, and those are further divided by year and gender, connected by a common room. The Heads of Houses have rooms near the dormitories to ensure safety, and we do patrol the halls. There is an infirmary, and our mediwitch, Madame Pomfrey, is one of the best available. She is in the process of training two apprentices, so Apprentices Abbot and Brown assist her at all times. First year curriculum includes Beginning Transfiguration, Beginning Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Beginning Charms, Astronomy, Herbology, Flying Lessons and History of Magic.

'There are also a myriad of clubs and associations available to students, and I myself sponsor the Arithmancy Club. Your students are allowed to write home at any time, and if you'd like, you can also subscribe to the main wizarding newspaper, The Daily Prophet. Now, are there any questions?'

Author's Notes: I had to stop there, or this would've ended up as a twelve-page chapter… So, the next chapter should be out in two or three days. Yes, Hermione is the Arithmancy professor, and Head of Gryffindor. Lavender Brown and Hannah Abbot are Madame Pomfrey's apprentices, but that's all you get so far!
As always, please review!