The Potter/Black Romance
Disclaimer: I own a few things and JK owns other things. The song, Straight From The Heart belongs to British pop group S Club 7. But in this, Sirius wrote it..
Thank yous: Goddess of Gorgeousness, RoschLupin-Black, orlin, im no muggle, CountingSheep123, redrose2310, Pad, Ginny-and-Draco-fan, and unicorn666
This chapter, James will finally find out about what Sirius went through when he was younger, it is a bit sad but I probably haven't written it very well.
Chapter 17: The One witha Very Pregnant Sirius
It had been nearly a year since James and Sirius had gotten married, their Wedding Anniversary was tomorrow, but James had the feeling Sirius wouldn't really be in a mood to celebrate it. Sirius was nearly eight months pregnant with their first child, he was emotional, his self-esteem seemed to have lowered itself, and he was also quite down on his physical image as well.
Sirius had gained a quite a bit of weight along with his baby belly and James honestly thought he still looked great, he didn't just tell Sirius that to make him feel better, he said it because Sirius did still look gorgeous.
Sirius was at the moment curled up on the couch petting the dog he had bought before last Christmas for some companionship. He was wearing a baggy pair of pants and a loose T-shirt; his stomach hadn't really grown that much considering he was eight months along and carrying twins but he still thought he looked like a house.
James came into the living room of their house carrying two bowls, "Dinner for the mother of my children," he said jokingly as he neared Sirius.
Sirius glanced up at him with a mock scowl, "Oh ha ha, just give me my food."
James smirked and handed Sirius one bowl, then he went and sat down next to him and put his feet on the coffee table. Their dog Max, a longhaired male German Shepherd sat down on the floor expectantly.
"I'm not giving you any food Max, go and lie down," said James; Max let out a long pitiful whine. "No."
Sirius shifted over slightly and patted the seat, "Come on Maxxie. Ignore the working grump." Max yapped and jumped up on the couch between Sirius and James, he managed to turn around three times and then settled down and put his head on Sirius' knee.
James shook his head; "I know when to take a hint. Want me to leave you two?"
Sirius smiled, "Feeling left out?"
James sniffed in mock upset, "No, no, not at all."
……
A little while later the two had finished their dinner and were sitting together on the couch talking, cuddling and in James' case, giving Sirius comforting kisses.
James was sitting with one foot on the floor and his other leg along the back of the seat, he had Sirius between his legs leaning back against his body with his head on James' shoulder. Max was lying on his side on the floor in front of the fire fast asleep.
Sirius shifted in discomfort, "God I wish these kids would stop kicking…"
James slipped his arms around Sirius's body and placed his hands over Sirius's ones on his swelled abdomen, "Just one more month though, it'll all be worth it, right?"
Sirius turned his head slightly so he could see James' face, "It better be."
James pressed a kiss to his temple, "Of course it will be. Any kids we breed have to be perfect."
Sirius snorted quietly, "Funny, your mum told me she thought the same thing while she was pregnant with you."
James grinned, "Yeah well, wasn't she right?"
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Yes James, you're perfect, the sun shines out of your ass," he replied sarcastically. "You are such an idiot sometimes."
"You still love me."
"Maybe I do," replied Sirius, he turned slightly to try and get more comfortable. "Aren't I crushing you?"
James huffed, "No. Of course you're not."
"Don't lie," grumbled Sirius trying to get his hands out of James's grip. But James had a strong grip, built up from years of playing Quidditch so it was really quite useless. "I'm huge! …I'm fat and I'm ugly. Why do you even like me?"
James sighed, Not this again. Why won't he listen to me? "You are not fat and you are certainly not ugly. You're pregnant, Sirius, you're carrying two children inside of you, that's probably why you feel this way. And I love you because of you…It doesn't matter what you look like, its not just physical attraction, you know? I'm not quite that shallow anymore-"
"I eat everything in sight!" exclaimed Sirius slumping back against James after he realized he wasn't going to be able to move anytime soon.
"You're eating for three," replied James. "If you were eating like I do and skipping meals and stuff the babies wouldn't be healthy, would they? It's perfectly normal and you are just as gorgeous as ever."
"No I'm not."
"You are," said James a bit more forcefully. "Now I don't want to hear you making any more derogatory comments about yourself, is that clear?" Sirius nodded, but he kept sniffing so James cuddled him closer. "I'm sorry I started to get upset at you but I just don't like hearing you run yourself down…You used to do that at school when you got letters off your parents and that upset me as much as those letters upset you." Sirius was sniffling now and shaking slightly as he tried to stem the flow of tears. James pulled Sirius's head back against his shoulder and brushed his lover's dark hair out of his face. "Don't cry, Siri…"
"I can't help it…" whined Sirius in a shaky voice.
James continued stroking his hair, "I know you can't sweetie. I don't blame you, it must be hard, especially when you're carrying Potter spawn." He heard a muffled giggle against his neck. "I'll be here to wait hand and foot on you for the remainder of this pregnancy."
Sirius sniffed, "But you have to go back to school in a fortnight."
James kissed him on the head, "Well, I'll ask Dumbledore if I can have the first half of the year off and maybe go back after Christmas. So I can be here with you the first few months at least."
Sirius nodded, "Sounds good." He yawned and rubbed his eyes getting rid of the excess tears. "I'm going to go to bed. I am so tired and my back is killing me."
As Sirius sat up properly, James put his hands on his shoulders and kissed the back of his lover's neck, "Want me to give you a massage?"
Sirius snorted, "You think I can lay on my front right now?"
James shook his head although Sirius couldn't see, "We can sit here and do it." Sirius grumbled. "Just lean back against me and let me rub your shoulders at least, it's the least I can do, isn't it?" He pressed gently kisses to the back and sides of Sirius's neck.
Sirius moaned slightly, "You are far too good to me, even when I'm trying to rip your balls off for getting me in to this state."
James smiled, he slipped his arms back around Sirius and hugged him, "Its because I love you so much. Now, bed or back rub?"
Sirius yawned again as he spoke, "Bed…"
"OK." James hoisted himself out from behind Sirius and stood up, offering his hands to his pregnant lover. Sirius took them and let James pull him up, when Sirius was standing James put his hands on his waist and kissed Sirius softly. He moved a hand and placed it on Sirius' swelled abdomen. "Can you believe it? This time next month we could already be parents." Sirius smiled as James put their foreheads together. "Its kinda scary don't you think?"
Sirius nodded, "I still think it all seems a little unreal at the moment."
"Yeah I know. It probably will for a little while though," replied James, he ran his fingers through Sirius' thick hair and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on, let's go to bed." He yawned. "Long day tomorrow."
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, "What's happening tomorrow?"
James smiled, "It's our Anniversary."
Sirius's eyes widened in realization, "Oh no! I haven't got you anything!"
James continued to smile, "Tomorrow is not for me. It is for you. You don't have to do anything tomorrow, I will do everything for you and do everything in my power to make you feel better." Sirius raised his eyebrows in interest. "And I will do anything to make you see just how beautiful you are."
Sirius looked down, a tinge of red appearing on his cheeks; "You don't have to."
James pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Yes, I do. I want to. Now let's stop stalling and get to bed, I'm tired as well."
They headed upstairs to their bedroom at the end of the hall.
James stopped at another room a little way down from theirs had been all painted up with Winnie the Pooh and his friends on the wall as well as various Disney characters. It also had two cribs in the middle of the room with a rocking chair in the corner and a chest full of toys, the walls were baby blue and baby pink for the little boy and girl who would soon be living in there. James' parents had advised them to get the babies' room ready before the twins were born because it would be a lot easier.
It was beautiful room, Dani had squealed in girly delight when she saw it when it had first been finished, without all the furniture in there. Remus and James had done most of it, because the paint fumes made Sirius feel sick.
James closed the door to the babies' room to stop himself from having any sentimental thoughts and headed into his and Sirius' room. He found Sirius already in bed under the blankets, he was curled slightly on his side, he already seemed to be asleep.
James went round to Sirius's side of the bed to check if he was asleep, as his shadow loomed over Sirius he saw blue eyes open to look at him.
"Hi."
James smirked, "Hey, I was just seeing if you were asleep already."
Sirius shook his head, "Just dozing." He closed his eyes again and snuggled under the covers. "You gonna join me or what?"
"Yeah," said James, as he went back around to the other side of the bed he undid his shirt and dropped it to the floor. He undid his belt and trousers pushing them to the ground and stepping out of them, then his socks came off and he climbed into bed in his red boxers.
James snuggled up behind Sirius, despite his extra size now, Sirius still fit perfectly in his arms. He started to gently caress Sirius's tummy and pressed kisses to his bare shoulders and lick and nibble at his neck.
Sirius moaned quietly and leaned as far back into James' strong body as he could, he loved the feel of that talented mouth on his skin especially now he was pregnant. He had found out (with James' help) that his body was far more sensitive to touch, just the feel of James' lips and his gentle caressing was enough to make him come.
James moved his mouth upwards and nibbled on Sirius's ear lobe as he moved his hand down further to the bulge in Sirius' pajama pants. He stroked his lover's erection through the thin cloth causing Sirius to whimper and gasp; he jerked his hips trying to feel more of James' hand. James moved his hand back up a little and slid it under the waistband of Sirius pajamas and took him in hand. He continued kissing Sirius's neck and shoulders as he stroked him alternating between fast and slow strokes.
Sirius' moans grew louder, "Oh James…"
Sirius soon came with a cry into James' hand, his breathing came uneven and fast, but it soon started to even out and slow down.
This kissing and touching late at night had only happened a few times since James had finished at Hogwarts for the summer, mainly because Sirius had been a little iffy about sex while he was pregnant. James managed to get him to see that they didn't actually have to have sex, it could just be the odd hand or blow job here or there.
The only thing was, James wouldn't let Sirius bring him to climax, he didn't want to force his lover into anything. So usually, after one of these sessions he would think of things to dampen his arousal and then when he got up in the morning he would most likely picture something really nice and jack off in the shower.
James pressed another kiss to Sirius's right shoulder blade before grabbing his wand and cleaning off his sleepy lover's front, he put his wand back on the bedside table and pulled Sirius' body to his and kissed his cheek. "Love you."
"Love you too…" mumbled Sirius before drifting off into a peaceful slumber.
James tried not to get too close because he was still pretty aroused.
Dumbledore and McGonagall…...Mum and dad……dammit!……Snape and Peter…….Aw come on, go down, I don't want to jack off now as gorgeous as he is……Snape, Filch, chocolate sauce, furry handcuffs and whips…… James shuddered. Well that worked……God I'm a pervert……Sleep Potter, sleep!
James shuddered.James, now arousal free and pretty sure he would have nightmares from what he just thought, curled around Sirius' body, he put an arm over his lover so his hand was resting on the baby bump and he rested his forehead against Sirius' back to sleep.
……
James awoke about five hours later, it was little drafty in bed and he found Sirius's side of the bed empty. It was still dark out, the ensuite bathroom light wasn't on so James got up and went in search of his lover. He went downstairs and noticed how chilly it was, but then he realized he was only wearing a pair of boxers. He went into the kitchen and found Sirius sitting at the table with a mug of hot chocolate and a half-eaten sandwich, he looked upset. James pulled a chair out and sat in front of Sirius who had his side to the table, "Siri what's wrong?"
Sirius leaned back in the chair, he folded his arms over his enlarged belly and sniffed, "I-I had a nightmare…"
James pulled his chair closer and leaned forward putting his hands on Sirius' upper arms, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Sirius bit his in thought; he glanced at James and then down at the floor, "Yes…"
James nodded, he stood up and held his hands out, "Come on, let's go in the lounge."
Sirius took James's hands and let himself get pulled up, before they went into the living room he grabbed his drink. James led him to the living room, flipping on the light as they went in and sat down in a chair, he took Sirius' drink and put it on the coffee table and then pulled his lover into his lap.
Sirius cuddled into James's barely clothed body.
James held him close, "Was it about your childhood again?" Sirius nodded and sniffed shaking slightly. "Tell me all about it, just take your time."
"OK," said Sirius quietly. He took a deep breath before starting to speak, still quietly but loud enough for James to hear every word. "…It all started when I was little, I must've only been about four or five when my parents noticed I was……different, you know? Not evil enough. I wasn't as annoying or as nasty as some of my older cousins, except Andy…" He trailed off for a moment, he felt James caressing his tummy lovingly as he listened. "Anyway, I think when my mum left me alone in the bath tub was the first bit of…abuse or neglect or whatever you want to call it… It only started off as little things like that, but after my first year at Hogwarts it got worse-"
Sirius broke off to try and contain his tears for a little longer, he let James pull him closer and give him reassuring almost feather light kisses to his face, forehead and lips.
Sirius took a deep breath and continued, "Wh-when I got home after our first year at school they just s-started to get really nasty, I think it was mainly because I got into Gryffindor… There was always yelling and slapping, they would push me around, it was like that for the first two summers away from school."
James could already feel his heartbreaking, but he had a gut feeling that what Sirius was telling him would get worse.
Sirius stayed silent for a few minutes, seemingly in thought, "Um…you know how on our honeymoon I told you I'd never been with another man?" He saw James nodded quizzically. "Well technically I have never had proper intercourse with another man except you, but…" He trailed off and sniffed.
James closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking back to Sirius, "What did he do?" His voice was quiet yet full of emotion. James could feel his personal vendetta against the Black family growing stronger.
Sirius gulped audibly and as he spoke he was twisting his hands nervously in his lap, "Um...the summer after our third year m-my dad started coming to my room at night…" He tried to blink back the tears but some had already trailed a wet path down his cheeks. "H-he would sit on my bed a-and touch me…he didn't do much the first three or four times but by the end of the first week back home, h-he had started forcing his mouth on mine-" He broke off again to try and regain a bit of composure as he spoke. "H-he would start to touch me more and h-he would pull my pants off and…touch me there…" He indicated to his crotch. Sirius sniffed, he had a steady flow of tears streaming down his face now. "I-it happened more and more and continued when I came home after our fourth year, but he never went any further than that, thankfully.
"I-in the summer after fifth year, I-I think he was going to t-try and h-have sex with me." Continued Sirius, his voice was shaking with tears. "He um, h-he forced me t-to give h-him blow jobs… The night I ran away to you, he beat me up because I-I-I refused to be his little sex toy anymore. I-I think if he hadn't hurt me as much as he did, h-he probably would have r-raped me…" He squeezed his eyes closed and just broke down into tears on James' shoulder.
James wrapped his arms around Sirius and held him tightly as he cried, he stroked Sirius's T-shirt covered back. He felt like crying himself.
Why did Sirius have to be put through that? What had he ever done to those people? As far as James could see, Sirius was perfect. He was sweet, funny, sensitive, quite mischievous, beautiful, loving, he had a big heart and he was so understanding and loyal.
Sirius had been hiding all this from the people he loved for years, of course, James did know about the physical abuse he had suffered but never the sexual.
James kissed Sirius's head and stroked his hair and back comfortingly.
"Oh god Siri…I am so sorry you had to go through all that, it should never have happened. Especially not to you," whispered James. "I promise I will never let any more harm come to you, especially from them."
………
They had finally gone back up to bed as day broke. Sirius had gone right back to sleep but James had just lay there with Sirius' head on his chest just thinking. Just worrying about how much this abuse must have traumatized Sirius.
James managed to get a couple more hours of sleep before getting up again around 10am; he pulled on a pair of light coloured cargo pants and headed downstairs for some breakfast. There was no way in hell he could jack off in the shower this morning, especially after the revelation earlier that morning.
Nonetheless, James was still going to follow through on his plans to make Sirius feel special; he was going to have Sirius know he was the centre of James' world.
James made himself some jam on toast and a pot of coffee, and then he sat down and put his face in his hands. He just sat there feeling absolutely terrible for Sirius, sometimes he hated feeling so empathetic, he just couldn't imagine how Sirius felt inside, but considering the way he felt he figured Sirius must feel ten times worse.
While he was thinking he never heard the front door being unlocked and opening and closing. The first thing James knew of someone else being in the house was when he heard his mother's voice.
"Morning."
James looked up and judging by the sudden worry on his mum's face he thought he must have looked terrible. "Morning…" he replied quietly.
James remembered vaguely that Sirius said he'd given a spare key to Michael and Irene, just in case something happened while he was at home alone while he was pregnant.
Irene pulled a chair out and sat down on the opposite side of the table to James. "James honey, what's wrong?"
James sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his bare chest, "Sirius had a nightmare earlier this morning and he told me everything." He looked up to his mother who was watching him intently. "He said his dad practically forced himself onto him, he forced Sirius to give him blow jobs …And, that night he came to us, he said he was beaten up because he had basically grown a spine and told that bastard he wouldn't let him force him into things like that anymore." James blinked back the tears that were fighting their way forward now. "How can someone do that to their child?…Its just wrong……They should be locked up." He put his face back in his hands.
"I agree," said Irene, a steely note evident in her voice. "How is he?"
James lifted his head again and sniffed, there were unshed tears in his eyes, "He's still asleep and he's been crying the best part of three or four days. Sometimes for no reason at all," Irene looked slightly amused. "And he thinks he's ugly, I don't know where that came from, I've tried everything to make him see that he's not and he still cries."
"That's all in par with being pregnant James, I did tell you and I'm sure your father made sure you knew how exhausting it would be," said Irene smiling slightly.
James raised an eyebrow, "No, he just laughed and said it'd be my funeral." He wiped his eyes. "You see how bad I am in the mornings?"
Irene nodded, "You had a long night though and by the sounds of it, you've had a pretty rough time with Sirius' mood swings as well. No wonder you look like death run over."
"You instill confidence, really you do," said James sarcastically.
Irene smiled, "You'll be fine, James, I know you will. Anyway, I just came here to see how you two were, especially on this special day, but I'm glad I did now considering the state you're in."
James smiled weakly. "I'm glad you did come, I needed to tell someone else."
Irene nodded in understanding, it was clear from how upset her son was that he loved Sirius dearly. "Listen James, I'm not sure if this would go down to well with Sirius but, well, I think if his past has had so much of an effect on him that perhaps he should see a specialist?"
James furrowed his eyebrows as he took a drink form his mug, "You mean like a psychiatrist?" Irene nodded. James bit his lip, "You're right, that probably wouldn't go down to well with him, but I can try and talk to him about seeing one.
"It's just a suggestion, I mean, he might be more comfortable talking to you about it now you know," replied Irene, she thought for a moment. "Now tell me, do you know the sex of my grandchildren?"
James grinned, "You're a winner for changing subjects so quickly, but yes we do."
"Do tell."
James rolled his eyes, "A boy and a girl. Will that make you happy?"
"Very," replied Irene, she got up and went around to James and put her hands on her son's strong shoulders, "Now I don't want you worrying anymore, Sirius will be perfectly fine if you are here with him."
James looked up at her, "You think so?"
"I know so." Irene gave her son kiss on the head. "I'm going to go now, you look after yourself and especially Sirius."
James smiled, "I will."
Irene gave his shoulders a squeeze and made her exit.
James looked to his toast, it was now quite cold, but he didn't care so he picked it up and ate it. After downing three more mugs of coffee he went back upstairs for a shower.
…
Sirius was still curled up fast asleep, breathing softly, his raven hair was jus as messy as James' usually was.
Sirius finally came around at about half past twelve, he pulled himself up out of bed and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, he couldn't be bothered having a shower it was too much of a struggle when he was still so groggy, plus it was easier if he had James in there with him. After that, he went downstairs and to the kitchen where James was busy preparing lunch.
James looked over his shoulder and smiled, "Afternoon, sleepy."
Sirius carefully sat down in a chair at the table, "What time is it?"
James looked at his watch, "Twenty to one."
Sirius yawned and stretched, "You shouldn't have let me sleep so long."
James kept his back to Sirius as he spoke, "With all due respect Padfoot, you needed it. I know you've barely been sleeping the last couple of weeks, and after this morning, I really do think you should get as much rest as you can."
Sirius watched James as he moved; he could see the muscles in his back flexing as he moved his arms through his fairly tight T-shirt. Sirius bit his lip, "James?"
"Mm?"
Sirius sniffed, "Thanks for listening to me earlier," his voice was soft. "I really needed that."
James finally turned to face him; he went and crouched down in front of Sirius placing his hands on his lover's hips, "I'm just glad you finally told me instead if just bottling it up like you have been." Sirius looked away from him. James put a hand under his chin and forced his gaze back up. "And I meant what I said as well, I will never let anymore harm befall you. OK?" Sirius nodded meekly. James leaned in and kissed his lips gently. "I love you, Sirius Black."
Sirius smiled, put his arms around James's neck and felt strong arms go around his waist in return. "I love you too, Jamie…"
James kissed his neck and cheek before pulling out of Sirius' grip, "Don't know about you but I'm hungry."
"Me too."
James stood up and went back to the bench, "Buffet sound good?"
"Yup."
While he prepared the food James glanced at the piece or parchment he had sitting on the bench near the chopping board, "Hey Si?"
"Yeah?"
James picked up the parchment and turned back to Sirius, "Did you write this?"
Sirius held out his hand so James gave the paper to him, he took one glance at it and nodded bashfully, "Yeah. Where'd you find it?"
"I was looking for some paper and I came across it in a drawer." James noticed the almost embarrassed look on his husband's face. He smiled, "Don't be embarrassed, I think its really good."
Sirius looked back up at him, "You do?"
James nodded smiling, "Yeah. Ever thought of writing songs for a career? I know you can sing as well."
Sirius shrugged, "Never really thought about it to be honest……I've written more than just this one."
Straight From The Heart by Sirius Black.
I see my future there in your eyes
Together and forever it's you and me
You see cause I won't be listening to what my friends have got to say
I know you'll be there all the way
You promised
And I know
That you will always care
Through good times
Through bad times
You're always there
Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you've changed my life forever more
I dream of waking up in your arms
And watch the sun bring in the day
You see what I can't imagine, I'm sure we can achieve
Which means giving up on this dream
You comfort
And you guide me
When skies are grey
And I feel you
And I need you
To say you'll stay
Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you've changed my life forever more
Forever more
Forever more
Changed my life
You promised
And I know
That you will always care
Through good times
Through bad times
You're always there…
Hold me now don't ever let it go
I'm in love with you but you already know
I want this love to last and be forever
If you believe and you can only see
That making love to me would make your life complete
Hold me tight and say you'll leave me never
Straight from the heart you've changed my life forever more
Straight from the heart you've changed my life forever
James smiled, "I'd like to read them. Especially if they're as sweet as that one."
Sirius smiled back, "I wrote it with you in mind."
……
They ate lunch peacefully; Sirius managed to stack a sandwich with all sorts of weird and wonderful food that wouldn't normally be mixed and James just sat there looking slightly put off with what Sirius was putting in his sandwich.
Butter, jam, chutney, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomatoes, egg, chicken, peanut butter, shortbread crumbs, cottage cheese, edam cheese…the list went on, in fact, what Sirius was eating was putting James off his food all together.
When they had finished eating, James cast a charm and sent everything to the sink, he leaned forward on the table and crossed his arms on it to look at Sirius.
"What?"
James looked thoughtfully at Sirius for a moment before replying, "I was wondering, I know you're pregnant and you're a bit self conscious at the moment but…Would you let me draw you?"
Sirius pulled a face as he considered James, "…OK."
James smiled.
……
Half an hour later, they were in the living room; James was sitting in a chair in front of the couch waiting for Sirius to sit. His pregnant lover was dressed only in a dark blue bathrobe.
Sirius sighed, "Don't make me look fat," he said in a warning tone.
James smiled sweetly at him, "I would never do that to you, you are far too gorgeous to upset like that."
Sirius smiled, "So how do you want me?"
James thought for a moment, "Um, sit a long the couch." Sirius dropped the bathrobe to the ground and so, so that James had a good side view of him. "Just get comfortable."
Sirius stuffed some cushions behind his aching back, he bent his right knee up and let it relax against the back of the couch so he would be pretty open to public viewing if the curtains were open. He rested his left arm over his pregnant tummy and his right on his bent up knee.
James raised an eyebrow, "Are you actually comfortable like that or are you just posing?"
Sirius gave him an adoring look; "I am quite comfy, thank you, Master Prongs."
James smiled and nodded, "If you're sure." He took up his sketching pad and pencil and started his masterpiece. "So, we haven't discussed names yet."
Sirius glanced at his messy haired love, "True. I don't know, I like lots of names, it's hard to choose just one for each."
"Yeah I know," replied James concentration etching lines on his forehead. "Doesn't really matter, we'll come up with something eventually." Sirius nodded his head slightly. "You know, my parents didn't name me until I was three months old."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I was baby boy Potter," said James slightly scathingly. "And mum would call me every pet name under the sun according to dad. Really dampens a guy's ego."
Sirius laughed quietly, he realized how much more comfortable he felt with his body now. He figured it must have something to do with James wanting to draw him. Naked. Sirius voiced his thoughts. "I don't feel quite as self conscious anymore."
James looked at him over the top of his glasses, "That's good. Mind you, I still don't quite get what your problem was in the first place, but I guess that's cause I'm not pregnant."
"Probably," said Sirius thoughtfully. "…Its been hell carrying these guys so far, but when I finally give birth to them I know I'm gonna miss it."
James smiled slightly, "That whole feeling of having somebody growing inside of you? And being so dependent on you?"
Sirius nodded and looked to James, "Sounds like you've had experience."
James brushed his hair out of his eyes as he continued to sketch; "I was around in the last couple of months when one of my cousin's was pregnant. She told me all about it cause I was curious and eleven, I wanted to know all the ins and outs of it and exactly how the kid was made."
"You mean you were taught the birds and the bees by a pregnant woman?" asked Sirius in mild amusement.
James smirked and nodded, "Hey, she was all too happy to tell me. She was also the only one who liked me enough to give me the real details, instead of all that 'the Hippogriffs bring the babies to all the mummies and daddies' bull shit."
Sirius snorted with laughter, "Always good to know." He yawned. "So, is this part of your whole 'making me feel special' thing?"
James nodded, "Yup. And is it working? Do you feel happier? More special? More…sexy?"
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Do you know how hard it is to feel sexy when you're as big as a house and can't have sex?"
"No I don't know," said James in amusement. He looked up at Sirius. "But there are ways of still having sex while your pregnant, you know? As embarrassing as it was for me, I went and asked Poppy Pomfrey."
Sirius smiled, "Well maybe you could show me then?"
"I could."
Sirius looked down at his feet, mainly because he couldn't see his lap. His bit his lip almost sheepishly and spoke quietly. "…I always feel special and more sexy when you make love to me…"
James slowly looked up from his half-finished sketch and smiled lovingly at his now bashful lover, "I'm glad. You know you always have been special to me, and damned sexy when I finally realized just how much more I preferred men."
Sirius had a fully-fledged blush now and James just thought it made him look all the more gorgeous.
……
About half an hour later James had finished his drawing and was now kneeling on the couch at Sirius's feet while his pregnant lover admired the picture.
Sirius looked up at him, "It looks great and I feel much better now." James smiled. Sirius put the picture on the coffee table and held his arms out, "Come here."
James crawled forward so he was between Sirius's legs; he put his hands either side of Sirius's shoulders and closed the gap between their mouths. Sirius's arms went up around James's neck as they deepened the kiss. James leaned into Sirius more but still left a gap between him and Sirius' enlarged belly so he didn't hurt Sirius or the babies.
James pulled away, he nipped at Sirius's bottom lip before pressing kisses down his jaw line and to his neck. Sirius moaned quietly.
James suddenly felt his head being pulled up and he looked at Sirius worriedly. Had he done something wrong? Did Sirius (still very naked by the way) want him to stop?
Sirius was slightly flushed, he took a deep breath and spoke almost lustfully, "Make love to me."
James frowned slightly, "Are you sure you want to?"
Sirius nodded, "Yes," he kissed James softly on the lips. "Please."
The two were soon upstairs touching and kissing on their bed. James had lost all of his clothes somewhere between the living room and the top of the stairs.
………
The two spent the rest of the day cuddling under the covers of their bed, kissing, touching and most of all, discussing names for their twins.
Their first wedding anniversary didn't go quite as planned but James was glad he had cheered Sirius up nonetheless.
………………………………………………………………………………………
A/N: Yey!
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NEXT CHAPTER: Sirius goes into labour, but where's James?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!