Oh, No, Not Another Mutiny!

By LMR

Disclaimer: Can I borrow Voyager, please?? I'll give it back when I'm finished, which at this rate, will be in five years!

A/N: Thank you so much for your patience. Evil little LMR has taken much too long to update! (Mostly because I have no idea where this is going.) And doctorwannabe(), I haven't forgotten my promise.

Chapter 8: Sweetness and Snugglebunnies

"All right, Doctor," Neelix said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of hard work as if he were really looking forward to it. "You're the one who understands this brainwave stuff. What exactly do we need to reprogram the holocharacters to do?"

"They need to give suggestions to counteract the suggestions these hostile creatures are giving them. Something cheery and happy." The Doctor's distain for all things cheery and happy was evident in his voice.

"We need to make the holodeck emit sweetness and snugglebunnies, in otherwords." Neelix seemed quite pleased with this idea, and the Doctor found himself sincerely hoping that Neelix would not use this as a jumping off point for the next ship party.

The Doctor harrumphed. "Let's not get carried away, Mr. Neelix. No need to nauseate the crew. It should be sufficient to have Starfleet and Maquis luau characters interacting in positive ways. Attitude follows behavior, Mr. Neelix. The key to a successful and friendly integration of two hostile groups is, to put it simply, forced playtime. Once they begin to interact, they will force themselves to like each other out of cognitive dissonance."

"Um, Doc, I . . . Well, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Neelix, as long as these characters are friendly to each other, everything will be fine. Computer, run a two minute sample of a group of four interacting, two Maquis, two Starfleet."

There was a low double beep and four characters appeared. They were dressed in the traditional clothes of Starfleet and Maquis, along with leis. They all smiled cheerfully. One woman in a Starfleet uniform spoke with a sugary voice. "It's so nice to be with all my Maquis friends!"

One of the smiling Maquis men agreed. "Absolutely! The Starfleet are such nice people. I'm glad we all get along so well!"

The Doctor grinned, apparently satisfied with his work. Neelix winced a little. "Doctor, not that I'm by any means an expert holocritic, but you don't think that's a little. . ." he searched for a tactful word.

"Pathetic?" Tom piped up. "Doctor, nobody's going to believe that's real. They'll see right through those characters."

The Doctor acted as though he had anticipated such an objection. "Normally, yes, but the crew is obviously in an altered state of consciousness. They'll believe whatever is shown to them. They're under hypnosis, and this is a type of reprogramming. It doesn't need to be sophisticated." He huffed, "Though I would like to see you do better in such a time constraint."

Tom lifted his hands, palms out, as if to excuse himself.

"Doctor," They all jumped, having not even realized that Seven had been standing behind them since the holoprogram sample. "According to my calculations, the crew will be waking up momentarily."

"Thank you, Seven." The Doctor hit his combadge. "Lieutenant Torres? How is that work coming on the holoemiters?"

"Just finished, Doc, I'm headed back now." She stepped over a few bodies of paused crewmembers on her way down the corridor. She paused and glanced down, almost giggling in spite of herself. "Hey, Tom, you need anything to hang over Harry's head?"

"Don't I always?"

"Well, as they say in your dumb old movies, I've got the smoking gun." B'Elanna snapped a holopicture of Harry's compromising position.

Captain Janeway, still struggling against her rather cozy restraints, jerked her head indicating that Neelix should come over. He complied. "Could you hit my combadge for me?" She asked.

Puzzled, the Thailaxian nodded. "Of course, Captain." He tapped the badge.

"This is your Captain. I order you idiots to shut up."

A grin broke out across the Doctor's face. "This is progress." Seven raised an eyebrow skeptically, but paid attention. "She called them idiots."

"Doctor," she pointed out dryly. "There has never been anything wrong with her powers of observation."

Doc smiled. "This is the first time she's acknowledged any of the crew as people with personality traits. I'm sorry, Lieutenant (he clearly was not), but idiocy clearly qualifies as a personality trait. She sees you as an individual. That's wonderful progress! Neelix, try to get some more of that out of them. Make them angry if you have to, it seems to work." He hit his combadge again. "B'Elanna, I'm starting the program. Are you ready?"

"Everything's set, Doc." He pressed a few buttons at his console and the computer seemed to whirr to life. Luau characters filled sickbay, and presumably, the entire ship.

Seven turned to the Doctor. "What is our next course of action?"

He thought about that for a moment. "Well, there's really nothing more we can do. Once the crew wakes, things should begin to take care of themselves. We just need to keep the friendly suggestions steady until we reach the other side of the nebula in approximately five hours."

"And until then?" Seven asked.

"Until then, we have nothing to do but enjoy the party." His face brightened. "In fact, we might as well join the show. Computer, replicate one Maquis uniform, specifications. . ." He looked awkwardly at Seven's form, suddenly an adolescent boy. Fortunately, she understood what he was talking about.

"Women's size two."

B'Elanna walked into sickbay as this conversation was going on. She hung back quietly in a corner. As Seven took the uniform to the next room to change, B'Elanna smirked at the Doctor. "Don't you start," he warned her.

She just smiled and requested another Maquis uniform from the computer. If the whole crew was getting a five hour vacation, she wasn't going to sit around here wasting it. It was her duty to be . . . friendly with Starfleet.

"How do you like the look, Doctor?" Seven asked.

"Very nice," he said, in what could have possibly been the biggest understatement of the 24th century.

"Shall we join the party?" She was almost smiling as she offered her arm.

"My pleasure."

In the corridor, crewmembers were beginning to wake, dazed. Paris and Torres were already demonstrating the friendliness of the Maquis and Starfleet, a little too much for the Doctor's liking, and the holocharacters, all bad acting aside, were doing their job well. Confused crewmembers were absorbing the idea that they should all be friends, at least to the extent that no one was getting beaten up.

"Ow, get offa me!" Harry mumbled. Crewman Jor scowled, the same distaste in her eyes at having been caught on top of a Starfleet.

"Don't look so sad, Crewman," a cheery Maquis holocharacter told her. "This is a party! We're all friends, and we should all be having fun!"

Another sickeningly cheery character, this one a Starfleet, chimed in. "Yes! My friend is right! We should all have fun at this nice party. Have a lei." She slipped flower necklaces on both of them.

The two didn't look angry anymore, just confused. Party. Fun. Friends. It seemed to be sinking in. "Do you want some punch?" Jor wondered.

"Um, yeah."

"Okay, we'll get punch." She was still a little gone. Gone enough, in fact, that when she tried to pour herself some punch, she missed the cup completely and poured it on the floor. Not one to leave a mess that she created for someone else to clean up, she bent down to get it with some napkins. Unfortunately, Harry was also not the type to leave a mess, and their heads came together with a predictable "klonk!".

"Ow," They both said. Jor looked down awkwardly, afraid that Harry would see that her face was red. She didn't need to worry about that of course, because he had his head down for the same reason. Finally, Jor smiled. "At least I didn't punch you this time. I don't think I ever properly apologized for that. I'm scared of the dark."

Harry laughed a little. Jor looked wounded until Harry backpedaled a little. "I mean, it's funny, because, me too."

Jor smiled again, glad to know she wasn't alone.

Seven scowled sardonically as she passed the Lieutenants. "I wasn't aware this was a teenage make out party." The Doctor laughed a little. "This was a very good idea. All of it."

"I appreciate the compliment, but you must remember, it was technically, Lieutenant Paris's idea."

"Perhaps, but I don't consider knowledge of antiquidated Billy Murray films to be what really made this possible."

"But I-"

She stopped him. "It was a compliment, Doctor. I suggest you take it, seeing as you seem so certain I hold nothing for you but distain."

The Doctor was dumbstruck.

"I am unaccustomed to recognizing emotions, but when I am around you, I find I have cultivated a . . . fondness." She resumed her businesslike stance. "The crew is watching. I suggest we show them how well the Starfleet and Maquis get along."

And still the Doctor was unprepared for what happened next. She took his face matrix in her hands and kissed him. Shocked at first, the Doctor relaxed and enjoyed it. (That's for you, doctorwannabe()!!!!!)

Q beamed. "Oh, my sweet Kathy. I knew you and your crew would figure it all out on your own. What a resilient little mortal!" His face showed a frankness uncommon for him. "I really do adore you, you know." He lifted her face and kissed her on the lips. She was still both dazed and restrained, which is why Q did not get a black eye for his trouble. He snapped his fingers to unrestrain her, then snapped himself away.

Voyager had once again gone to the brink of wackiness and back. And all was well throughout the ship. Except for one single voice calling out through the Cosmos. "Q! Get me out of this stupid straightjacket!!!!!!!! Q!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's all, folks. Please R&R. Love, LMR