Author's Notes: This will probably be a two part, I had intended it to be a one shot, but I feel that I'm getting rather strained as it goes on, and thought that perhaps some reviews might renew my desire to write it.
Obviously, I don't own anything! I'm only borrowing to play and amuse myself and others.
My entire life has been full of tragedy, so truly, I shouldn't have been surprised that my life took such a turn. For once, I was happy. My life seemed my own. I should have known it wouldn't last.
His face lit up when I told him my news. I'd never seen him look so very happy before. We'd talked about the idea of starting a family, both of us agreed that we would wait for the perfect time; that we didn't want to bring a child into the world in the middle of the war. Fate, it seems, had a different plan.
I was pregnant. They symptoms were all there. I felt ill, I was always tired, and I felt weak. There was no question in my mind, and the conception charm only confirmed it for me. Not only was a pregnant, we were having twins!
I was in shock, at first. My whole body felt numb at the idea. We had agreed that I would carry our children, and so I had begun taking the fertility potion that would allow me to conceive in the future. Little did we know just how effective and how soon it would work. Now we had a decision to make: Did we allow the pregnancy to continue normally? Or did we cast subsisto gravida? (stop pregnancy)
After talking it over for nearly a week, we had decided to cast subsisto gravida, and pause my pregnancy until the war was over, or we could wait no longer. Remus was finally able to talk me into the latter. He reasoned that to allow my pregnancy to continue would give the Dark Lord an unfair advantage by sapping my magical abilities. We agreed that Remus would cast the charm to ensure it worked properly, since my magic seemed to be already affected.
And so life continued much as before, Remus and I continued to work for the order, in hopes of one day ending the war so we could finally welcome our children into the world. I continued my teaching job at Hogwarts, and we never told anyone of my condition. Not even Poppy Pommefrey knew.
That is, until the fateful night that changed my life forever…
The air was chill as The Order of the Phoenix ran down the street towards the sounds of battle. We were all on edge, having received information of the Death Eater's attack earlier that day. Remus kept glancing at me; worry clearly written in his golden eyes. I knew he didn't want me there, that he feared I would put myself and our children in even more danger.
We all split up, surrounding the house. My stomach churned ominously, and my scar ached terribly. I was nearly seeing double from the pain, as I stared at the curse-illuminated windows. Placing a hand upon my stomach, I spoke silently to our unborn children, as we awaited the signal to enter. It was comforting to have Remus at my side. I knew that no matter what happened, he would protect me.
The signal went up, and we charged into the house, wands at the ready. I shudder to even think of the chaos that reigned within that building. Flashes of light burst from wands all around us. Frightened muggles ran past in their attempts to escape. The death eaters were ruthless, killing all in their paths.
Remus stuck close to me, a fact I was very appreciative for, since my vision was even further distorted once inside. Nearly too late, I heard the Crucio curse be sent towards me, only to feel Remus' hands push me from harms way. I blinked dazedly, after hitting the wall, before my eyes focused upon the writhing body of my love. Without thinking, I flung the first curse I could think of at the offending death eater before releasing Remus from the Crucio.
He still trembled from the after effects, tears standing stoically in his eyes. We exchanged a knowing look before I helped him to his feet at last. I shook my head in effort to clear my vision before taking my place at Remus' side.
The battle raged on for what seemed an eternity. Flashes of blue, green, purple, yellow and red burst forth all around us. When we became separated, I know not. Everything moved too fast. I couldn't keep track of anything. That is, until I felt the familiar cold chills run down my spine.
Time seemed to freeze as I turned to face him. Voldemort smirked in his snake-like way, sending a fine tremble throughout my entire body. I wished Remus were by my side still, for I could have used his strength at that moment.
"Harry Potter." The dark lord sneered. "We meet again."
I swear my very blood froze in my veins. The entire battle seemed to slow around me as I stared into those red eyes. Curses still burst around me, but where they hit, I know not. My scar burned terribly, yet still I held my ground.
Our wands rose at the same time, tips trained on one another. I'm not sure who began the curse first; I only know that I ended it. I watched as the green sparks flew from my wand, hitting Voldemort square in the chest. He doubled over at first, convulsing for a moment, before the green light spread over his entire body. As if in slow motion, Lord Voldemort finally disintegrated into oblivion.
I blinked for a moment, my eyesight finally returning. I don't know why, but I turned to my left, only to have my heart stop in fear. Before my eyes, one of the deaths eaters shouted Avada Kedava, his wand pointed at Remus.
I think I ran, though I could have flown for all I know. However it happened, I was at his side in an instant. I could feel hot tears spring to my eyes as I watched my love convulse before me. He opened his mouth as if to speak, his shaking hand coming to rest upon my stomach briefly before he, too, was gone.
I felt a flush of magic run through me, as though suddenly a blockage had finally broken. I spun around more quickly than I ever thought possible. My want aimed at the death eater who had stolen my lover from me. I vaguely remember several members of the Order calling to me, but I was lost. In my pain and rage, I heard my own voice shouting out every curse and hex I knew. I was determined to make that man feel pain that equaled the grief and pain I suddenly felt. A firm hand grasped my shoulder, turning me from my target.
My eyes rose to look into the scowling face of Severus Snape. My whole world seemed to come crashing down around me. I had nowhere to turn, and did the only thing that seemed right at the time; I wrapped my arms around my former professor, buried my face against his chest, and cried.
I sobbed against Snape's stiff form for what seemed an eternity, before the unthinkable happened. Snape's arms wrapped around me. One around my shoulders, while his other hand softly stroked my hair. He remained silent, though for some reason I felt comforted by his actions alone. If I hadn't been so distraught, I might have been shocked.
Then it happened once more. My life took another turn for the worse. As I stood, sobbing against Snape, the tormented death eater recovered enough to raise his wand. The next thing I remember was lurching with the force of a curse hitting me. I spun around again, to protect myself, only to feel my legs collapse beneath me before being his with Crutiatus directly in the stomach.
I fell to the ground, writhing in pain. My thoughts trained only on my unborn children. I knew what that curse could do to someone in my condition, and resigned myself to the inevitable. Not only had I lost Remus, but I was about to lose our children as well.
Green light burst forth above me, before I felt the effects of the curse lifted. I curled into a fetal position, my arms wrapped around my stomach protectively as I felt the tell tale cramping begin. With my eyes closed tight, I felt myself lifted into someone's arms.
"My babies…" I whispered through the pain, before all went black as I sank into unconsciousness.
I drifted in a sort of comforting darkness. I was aware of what was going on around me, yet I felt detached and couldn't respond to any of it. I could feel the pain spread through my abdomen, I could feel the blood trickle from between my legs, and yet I couldn't respond. I almost didn't wish to leave that happy darkness, for all I had to return to was pain and anguish.
There were voices around me. Familiar people, speaking in hushed but frantic tones. After a moment I realized it was Snape who held me close to his chest, and Madame Pommefrey who was rushing around the room. I curled instinctively closer to Snape, feeling the comforting warmth of his body.
"This pregnancy was stalled, and now that it has suddenly been released, he's losing them." I heard Poppy say, worry clear in her voice as she checked me once more.
"Is there nothing that can be done?"
"I suppose. But there is only one thing I can think of." Poppy stated, her voice sounding unsure.
"Spit it out, woman, we haven't got all day!" Snape snapped angrily. Did he actually care what happened to my children and I?
"There's a procedure, Severus, that would transfer the children to a new body. A surrogate. You see, after the effects of both those hexes, Harry's body cannot sustain a magical pregnancy. His magic is needed to heal his wounds, and cannot support both he and the fetuses." Poppy stated, hurriedly. "However, the surrogate must be male. The fetuses were created for a magical pregnancy, and wouldn't survive a natural one. Where are we to find another male, willing to carry Harry's children to term?"
A tense sort of silence filled the infirmary. I was almost curious what would happen next; though I wished I could cry out; scream even, for them to find someone, anyone. I found myself struggling towards consciousness once more. Though I paused in my fight when I heard the next words.
"I'll do it."
If I had been able, I would have blinked and asked if he were crazy. Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had just offered to carry my children to term. A strange sense of relief flooded over me at the idea that my children would be saved.
"Then you best drink this, Severus. Hurry now, there isn't much time!" I heard Poppy command, imagining her holding out a beaker of some potion or another.
I felt myself being laid out upon the bed, and my robes opened once more. Poppy's soft hands rested against the skin of my stomach, probing gently. Once more, I began my struggle towards consciousness, determined to wake this time. I had almost succeeded when I felt Poppy's palm rest gently upon my brow, and I felt myself tumble back into the comfort of oblivion once more.
When at last I woke, I felt stiff and sore all over. With a soft moan, I reached for my glasses upon the nightstand, propping myself up on my elbows in the bed. I was still in the infirmary, and by the dim light, it was the middle of the night.
With a sigh, I lay back against the pillows, resting my hands upon my stomach. I felt empty. Barren. Alone. I hadn't realized just how accustomed I had become to having Remus' and my unborn children within me. But now, they were gone, and there was nothing I could do.
A soft sob escaped my lips, as hot tears slid slowly down my cheeks. The pain of that day finally catching up to me, once more. My love, my bonded mate was gone forever, and my only link to him had been taken from me. I hated that death eater, and I sincerely wished he would be given a Dementors kiss for what he'd done. Yet, there was nothing I could do at that moment but cry. I tried to pull my knees to my chest, only then realizing that I was unable to move them. I panicked.
"Quiet, Potter. Some of us are actually in need of rest." Snape mumbled from the bed beside me.
"P-Professor?"
I heard an annoyed sigh, before the sound of blankets being turned back and a soft groan as Snape rose from his bed. In the darkness, I heard the soft pad of his feet, until he came into view. He looked more pale than usual, and had dark circles beneath his eyes.
"Why didn't you say something, Potter?" He asked quietly, pulling a chair close to my bedside.
"Something about what, Sir?"
"Your pregnancy, or the fact that you carried quadruplets."
I was stunned. Quadruplets. Four babies. Four of Remus' babies.
I suppose that my shock showed upon my face, for Snape's lips curled into that awful sneering smirk that he gets. He studied me for a moment, his dark eyes sliding over me. I would have shied away had I been able to.
"You didn't know?" He asked, incredulously.
"No. We cast a conception charm, but that was the extent of the discovery, since we hadn't planned on proceeding with the pregnancy until things were safe once more." I nearly whispered, wiping angrily at my tears. How dare he speak to me like that after the trauma I'd suffered!
"Ah. Then you would only have known it was a multiple pregnancy, and not the number of fetuses you carried." Snape said, almost to himself, before falling quiet once more.
"Professor? Do you… I mean… will I…"
"Yes, Potter." He cut off my stuttering attempt at asking. "I think I know both possibilities of the question in which you will ask. Firstly: Yes, your children survived, and they are currently making themselves quite at home within my body. Second: Yes, you will regain the use of your legs, though it will take time.
"When you were hit with that hex, your body attempted to adapt in order to save your children. Instead of having its intended effect, your body moved the hex to one of paralysis, rather than that of death. In order to protect your children, what little magic you had, created a protective barrier around your womb. By doing so, however, it left the rest of your body open to damage.
"Now that you are no longer pregnant, your body will slowly regain its magical abilities. Thus, you will slowly heal." Snape then studied me for a moment before adding in nearly a whisper. "I…didn't do this for you, Potter."
I nodded. "I know, Professor. I…he would have appreciated it."
Snape snorted before rising once more. He swayed slightly, grasping the back of his chair for a moment of support before turning on his heel and returning to his bed. I listened in the darkness, until I heard him pull the covers over his thin body and sigh softly in relief.
I nearly pitied him for the discomfort he must be feeling. I had grown accustomed to it over the few months I had been pregnant, it had become something familiar. Lying there, I wondered just how much contact Snape would allow me to have with him until my children were born.
The following morning I awoke to the sounds of someone being ill. It took only a moment to realize that it was Snape. I lay back and waited it out, my hand habitually resting on my stomach. When at last I heard Snape's final shuddering sigh, I decided to speak.
"Ginger Pills."
"I beg your pardon, Potter?" Came Snape's harsh reply from behind the curtain.
"Ginger Pills. If you take one before you get out of bed each morning, it seems to ease the nausea. It worked for me, at least."
Without warning the curtain snapped back, revealing a rather ill looking Severus Snape. He crossed shakily to the chair by my bedside before plopping down very un-Snape-like upon it. His dark eyes studied me for a minute before he spoke.
"I shall have to try that, Potter. I would've taken an anti-nausea potion, but as you know, they can be harmful in a multiple pregnancy. Where in Merlin's name did you learn of Ginger Pills?"
"I suppose muggles are good for some things, huh Professor?" I stated with a small smile.
This only served to win me another snort from my ex-potions professor. I shifted uncomfortable on the bed, only to prove my paralysis once more. With a frustrated sigh, I lay back against the pillows, feeling hot tears threatening once more.
"Is there any improvement?" I heard Snape ask quietly. I silently shook my head, as traitorous tears slid freely down my face. To my surprise, Snape then stood and poured me a glass of water.
"Here Potter. Drink this."
I nodded and accepted the glass, taking a deep sip. Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and still the thoughts that were spinning through my head. All my plans had changed, my entire future seemed out of my grasp. Remus was gone and would never return. I was partially paralyzed, possibly permanently. My unborn children had nearly died, and now grew inside Snape. My whole life had changed into something I no longer recognized.
A soft sob sounded in the room, and it took me a moment to realize that it had been my own. I covered my face with my hands, and finally broke down. All the pain, grief, and fear finally crashing own around me as waves on the ocean shore.
As I cried, I felt a soft weight upon the bed, before I was enveloped in strong arms and held close. The smell of that body becoming quite familiar: Cinnamon. I wrapped my arms around that body, and sobbed.
"Shh, I know, Po-Harry. I miss him, too." Snape whispered, his voice losing all of the icy edge that it usually had. "But Remus will forever live on, in our hearts, and your children."
At that, Snape took my hand and placed it on his slightly rounded belly. I was awed at the simplicity of his gesture and the surge of magical energy that pooled there. It spread up my arm, causing a tingling sensation. I must have gasped softly, for I next heard the strangest sound, Severus Snape chuckled. No, he laughed.
"I suppose you don't notice such an effect when it is your own body creating it." Snape whispered in what sounded like an amused tone. "My magic is already disrupted. It seems you are a more powerful wizard than I, Potter."
I lifted my head again, drying my eyes. "You…didn't have to do this, Professor."
"Of course I did. I couldn't very well allow the last link to Remus die as well. Besides, you gave me my freedom again, perhaps this is my way of repaying you."
I thought about this, I knew that Remus and Snape had grown very close over the years. They'd had work closely with each other on the wolf;s bane potion that helped to control the wolf. Deep down, I think Snape love my husband, and that was his real reason for saving my children; it was his last chance to be close to Remus.
"I want to be there through the whole pregnancy." I finally stated.
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Mr. Potter, because I believe in the coming months you and Severus shall need each others help more and more." Pomefry stated as she came into the room. "Now, Severus, back to bed with you. Your body needs rest to adjust to its new passengers." She stated, helping Snape from my bed, before returning to me. "As for you, Mr. Potter, it is time for your healing treatments."
The next few weeks were a blur of treatments and tests. I began to feel like a pincushion from all the poking and prodding I had to withstand. It was frustrating that I couldn't heal as quickly as usual, and I began to grow terribly bored with being stuck in bed all the time.
It didn't help that Snape wasn't able to visit any longer. Poppy told me that due to order business and attempting to plan his lessons for the coming year, Snape often fell asleep at dinner from exhaustion.
The summer passed, July fading to August. Only a few days before the students arrived for another year, I received a visit from Professor Dumbledore.
"Harry, my boy! How good it is to see you up and about." He stated with that familiar twinkle in his eyes.
Turning from my seat by the window, I smiled at him and gestured to the chair. With some effort I rose to my feet and returned to my bed. I was stiff and sore, but glad to be able to rise from the bed after so long of being stuck in it. It was like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders; I was beginning to heal finally. Dumbledore watched me, nodding his approval as I crossed the room. I knew he had been worried about me, and that it was probably a great relief to see that I was improving at last.
"How is Professor Snape?" I asked, cutting to the chase, as it were.
"He is well, Harry. Though that is the reason for my visit. You see, school starts in only a week, and as Severus' magic is disrupted by the pregnancy, he is in need of an assistant. Now, Poppy has told me that you, as well, will need some help in the coming weeks, and so I thought, why not pair you two together? You could assist Severus in classes, while he can help you outside of that. It would also give you a chance to be close at hand throughout the rest of the pregnancy."
I thought this over for a while. Could I really stand to be in such close contact with Snape? While Dumbledore was right, and it would give me a great chance to be close through the pregnancy, I still wasn't sure that I could manage to be with Snape day in and day out. It's not as though we were on the best of terms, even though he carried my children.
"Has he agreed to this?" I asked, hesitantly.
Dumbledore stroked his beard, and glanced away as he always did when avoiding a truthful answer. "Not in so many words, Harry." He stated cryptically.
Great. So Snape either didn't know of this proposal, or he hadn't agreed to it. Lovely. Not only did I face the chance of intruding upon his life further, but now he didn't want it, or didn't agree. How could Dumbledore force us together in such a way?
The following morning I was released from the infirmary. My mind spun with thoughts as I made my way down to the dungeons, and finally to the Potions classroom. The click from my cane echoed throughout the corridor before I finally came to the door and pushed it open.
"You're late, Potter." Snape stated from across the empty classroom, not even raising his eyes from the parchment before him.
"Yes, well, it's a long hobble from the infirmary to the dungeons." I replied, crossing the room.
"I assume that Albus has informed you that we shall be living together?" Snape asked, curtly.
"Erm…yeah, he told me."
"Very well, then follow me, Potter."
With that Snape finally stood from behind the desk. I had to hold in a gasp as my eyes fell on the visible curve of his stomach. In the month since I'd seen him, the babies had obviously grown. I mentally counted, realizing he was about four months gone.
Snape's eyes followed my line of vision before he cleared his throat testily. "Is there something the matter, Potter?" He asked, startling me from my thoughts.
"No, Sir. I was just wondering how you were feeing?" I asked, finding my eyes drifting down to my ex-professor's expanded waist-line.
Snape snorted and rolled his eyes before walking over to me purposefully. "Come, now, Potter. What you really wished to ask was if you could touch them." He stated, grabbing my hand and placing it upon his stomach.
Again I felt a thrill of magic run up my arm, causing every hair to stand on end. Glancing up into the obsidian depths of Snape's eyes, I noticed a look of peace come over him, only to be replaced with indifference a moment later as he stepped away.
"As you can see, your children and I are quite well. Now, follow me." With that, he turned and left the room, robes billowing behind him.
It was odd at first, living with Professor Snape. Though after a while, I got used to his routines. I learnt quickly that he wasn't a "morning person." It only took me once to realize that coming between Snape and his morning coffee was a disasterous mistake. Had he still had access to his magic, I would surely have found myself cursed from here to China and back.
Classes were another thing altogether. Snape's seriousness in class began to make sense to me. I had never realized just how many potions 'accidents' the man had to deal with in a day. My first day helping him, I was forced to deal with two accidents, one Hufflepuff not paying attention, and a Slytherin attempting to poison someone. I vowed that after my children were born, I would stick to teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, if asked.
The months passed in a sort of haze. Snape and I spent much time together, whether in class or in our rooms together. I learnt that he was quite the chess player, and he often delighted in beating me miserably. Over time, I learnt many of the sides of Severus Snape. Sides he never let anyone show, and do this day I don't think I would have seen if he hadn't had fluctuating hormone levels.
It wasn't until Severus was six months pregnant that he was forced to leave work. I remember the day that Poppy had told him, he was absolutely miserable. From the beginning of the transfer, I had always accompanied Severus to his medical appointments (they were my children, afterall). This time, however, was much different.
Poppy was concerned about Severus' blood pressure, which had grown very high. His weight had also reached a platow, and Poppy was worried that the babies were no longer growing properly. She was also worried about his stress level, and the effects it might have on the children. I remember she rushed around the little examination room in a panic, not telling us what was going on.
Severus was growing worried, I could see it in his face. The little wrinkles around his eyes deepened, and his frown increased two fold. I held his hand, trying to comfort him as best I could. His worry wouldn't be good for the babies, and though I found myself worrying over his health, my first concern was the children.
I stroked his hand, murmuring comforts as I laid my hand on his severely swollen belly. Unconciously I stroked the taut skin, feeling the now familiar thrill of magic spread up my arm. Poppy had rushed from the room, muttering something about contacting St. Mungo's Hospital. Luckily Severus hadn't heard that.
"Something's wrong, Harry." Severus suddenly said, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Wrong? What do you mean, wrong?" I asked, failing to keep the fear from my voice.
Suddenly, he grasped my hand tighter, his eyes widening in fear as his breath hitched. My stomach sank and my heart jumped into my throat as I felt his abdomen tighten beneath my hand. A contraction. Severus was going into labor, and the children were three months early.
"Hold on, Sev. Just hold on. Breathe." I said, hearing my voice shake in its slightly heightened pitch.
We kept our eyes locked to each others as Severus tried to breathe slowly through the contraction. When the pain began to lessen, he finally blinked against the tears that had slowly slid down his cheeks. I could only imagine the pain he was going through, and my next thought was that we needed Poppy. Now.
"POPPY!!! WE NEED YOU!!!" I called, refusing to leave Severus' side.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to.." Severus whispered before another contraction cut off his sentence, forcing him to breathe again.
"Shh. You don't need to apologize, Severus. We're going to get help. Everything will be alright, you'll see. You just need to try to stay calm, okay? Just breathe." I tried to comfort him, and moving to stroke his dampening hair.
"What is it, Potter? "Poppy asked as she came running into the room. She took one look at Severus before rushing out again, muttering. "Merciful Merlin!"
Severus was panicking. His obsidian eyes wide and glassy with tears. I watched as he attempted to gain control over his emotions. A trembling hand covered mine, and squeezed a little, upon his swollen abdomen.
"Harry…I," Severus started, before he gasped and squeezed his eyes tight.
I watched with a helpless sinking feeling. I could tell that Severus was as afraid as I was. If the babies were born now, even with the help of medical magic, we would most likely lose them.
When had I started thinking of Severus and I as 'we'?
Before I could really think about things, Poppy and two St. Mungo's medi-witches rushed into the room. The two set about casting spells upon Severus. Some of the spells I was able to understand, but some I couldn't. While they worked, Poppy ushered me from the room.
"Harry. Harry!" She called in effort to get my attention. "Come, dear. We're doing everything we can for Severus and your children. There isn't anything more you can do, dear."
"But…but he's in labor!" I heard myself stating in a panic.
"We're trying to stop the contractions right now, dear. Severus will be put to sleep, and we'll do all we can, dear. The best thing you can do right now is concentrate on sending calm energy to Severus. I will come and get you as soon as we know anything."
I was beginning to feel numb. I nodded and sat down. Everything was spiraling out of control. Crossing my arms across my chest, and closing my eyes, I rested my head back against the wall.
"Oh, Remus! I wish you were here." I whispered into the room.
/Harry./
I heard it in my head. Opening my eyes, I confirmed that I was alone in the room. I felt as though I were going crazy.
/You're not alone, Harry./
I blinked before realizing who it was.
"Remus?"
/I'm here, Harry./
"Oh, Remus! It's just awful!"
/Shh, love. It's going to be alright./
"But Severus is in labor! The babies…"
/…will be just fine. No matter what happens./
"But...they're all I have left of you, Remus. If they're taken from me, too…" I felt tears slide down my cheeks.
/I'm always going to watch over you, Harry. If anything should happen to any of our children, this day, then I will be here waiting for them./
"I miss you."
/I know, but I'm never far away. Now try to rest. Severus will need you when he wakes./
A comforting hand began stroking my hair. I closed my eyes, remembering how Remus used to do that whenever I was worried about something. It had always helped me relax into sleep.
Once again it must have worked, as the next thing I remember Poppy was shaking me awake.
"Harry? Harry, dear?" She said softly.
Slowly, I cam to, realizing what was happening. I blinked to clear the sleep from my eyes. Poppy looked tired and weary as she smiled softly at me.
"How are they?" I asked, jumping to my feet.
"Well, there's good news and bad news, Harry-dear." I nodded, preparing myself for what she would tell me. "Severus is resting peacefully now. It was a very hard day for him. The contractions have stopped now, thankfully."
At that news, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. My eyes kept drifting towards the door that Severus and my children were behind.
"The babies?" I flinched at how shaky my voice sounded.
"Ah, that's where the bad news come in, dear. You see, there was a problem with one of the babies, which caused Severus' labor to start. Now, while we were able to stop the contractions, one of the babies, well, we lost one, Harry."
I felt as though the wind had been knocked from my chest. My heart sank, and a lump of emotion formed in my throat. One of the babies was gone. One of my children, dead. Then it donned upon me…
"The rest? The other three? Please tell me they are well!"
A soft look formed in Poppy's eyes as she placed a hand upon my shoulder and nodded. "It was close for a while there, but with the help of the specialized medi-witches, we were able to remove the little girl, and stabilize the rest. Now, Severus will be under strict orders to rest, but if this should happen in a few weeks, we should be able to save them outside the womb."
"May I see them, Poppy?" I asked, needing to reassure myself with the sight and feel of Severus and my children.
"Just don't stay too long, dear. Severus needs to rest." Poppy warned before leading me back to the room.
I slowly opened the door to the darkened room. Blinking, I let my eyes adjust as they fell on the prone figure on the bed. Taking a seat upon the chair at the bedside, I took in the sight of Severus.
His hair lay in damp curls around his face, and his skin had a sort of ashen gray colour. With a tentative hand, I reached out and slid the blanket down over his swollen belly. I hesitated before laying my hand upon the large mound. Tears came to my eyes as my hand was met with a light bump from within.
"H-Harry?" Severus' usually silky voice was hoarse as he whispered.
"Shh. I'm here." I whispered in return, moving to gently stroke his hair.
"I'm sorry…"
"Shh. Don't start worrying again. Everything will be alright, now." I reassured, watching his eyes closing again.
I sat with Severus until he fell asleep. With a sigh I leant forward aand rested my head against Severus' stomach. Closing my eyes, I silently vowed to keep Severus safe, and to do whatever needed to help him until the babies were born.
Within a week, Severus was released into my care. He was placed upon strict bedrest, and promptly became more cranky and difficult to deal with. I tried to keep him supplied with obscure potions manuals, but they never seemed to be enough.
Without the use of his magic, Severus became completely hopeless. He would snap at me, and sent nearly the entire house elf staff of Hogwarts away in tears. Poppy was the only person he would allow near without being completely cruel.
As the winter solstice approached, Severus began to complain even more. No longer could he get out of bed without help, or even roll over on his own. His stomach was so large that I feared it wouldn't be able to stretch any further.
Finally it was time for Puppy's weekly check-up. SEverus remained silent throughout the entire appointment. I watched as Poppy felt around Severs' stomach and cast spells to chek on the progress of both Severus and the children.
"Right. Well, everything seems to be moving along nicely. I have the arrangements made for the births. Which, as these test results show will be soon.' Poppy told us as she and I moved to help Severus sit up.
Severus seemed rather distant as he accepted the hormonal potion from Poppy. He drank the potion without the tiniest complaint. Afterwards, Severus pulled on his shirt, pausing halfway and gasping in a soft 'Oh!"
"Severus? What is it?" Poppy asked, moving to his side again.
"I don't know…a tightness…like a cramp." Severus said, placing his hands upon his belly.
I watched as Poppy touched his stomach and smiled. Her hands slid over the swollen mound, pressing gently. Without a word, Poppy went to her medical bag, and returned with a phial of pale purple potion.
"Severus, I need you to drink this. I just want to warn you that it will cause some discomfort." Poppy explained as Severus nodded, eyeing the potion with disgust.
"Poppy? What's happening?" I asked, nervously.
She just smiled as Severus drank down the potion. "It seems, Mr. Potter, that you shall be the father of winter solcstice babies!"
Just then Severus let out a loud moan and curled in upon himself.
"Ohhhh!" He gasped painfully.
"Just breathe, Severus. It will be over in a few minutes. You're doing very well." Poppy encouraged him, as I held my breath and waited nervously. After what seemed like hours, Severus seemed to relax, and Poppy smiled warmly at him.
"Congratulations, Severus. You did very well." She said softly.
"What was that?" I asked, watching Severus close his eyes, and pant for breath.
"That, Mr. Potter, was a transfiguration potion to give your children a way out of Severus' body." Poppy said while checking Severus' health again.
"But how will they…Oh!" I felt my eyes grow wide as the slid down Severus' body, and the realization dawned upon me that I would have had to go through that, if things hadn't happened the way they did.
"Very…good, Mr….Potter…Ten points…to Griffin…dor." Severus panted, sounding more like himself, again.
"You mean he has a…"
"Yes, Harry." Poppy cut me off. "Now, Severus. I suggest you try to rest, as the next few days could be very tiring for you."
Poppy arranged the blankets over Severus, and motioned to me to follow her out of the room. We sat by the fire, drinking some tea that the houseleves had left for us. I found myself glancing back towards the bedroom in concern.
"Nothing will happen just yet, Harry. He needs to rest to save up energy for the coming hours. I want you to call me when his contractions start. Things may move quickly for him." She explained before returning to the infirmary.
I finished my tea and braced myself before going back into the bedroom. Severus was already asleep, his brow creased in pain. I sat beside the bed, my eyes focused on Severus' belly. My mind began to wander as my eyes became unfocussed.
I had waited so long to meet Remus' and my children. So much had happened in the past months. I found my eyes rising to gaze into Severus' face. I wondered if he would want anything to do with my children, and I, after the births. My life was about to change, and as strange as it sounds, I was afraid that Severus wouldn't be in it.
Slowly sleep began to creep up on me. I lay my head down upon my arms, and gazed up at Severus until my eyes began to close.