//---Hey everyone! I've been gone forever, and I'm really sorry….I just don't really have a lot of time to write now that I'm in all A.P. classes and stuff.  I had a three day weekend and so I thought of all my faithful readers and began to write. I hope that you like this chapter, I worked on it, wondering if this was the route to go with the story.  Well I'm going to try.  I didn't get a lot of reviews for the last chapter, so I figured that I would try to give you the best for this chapter.  I tried on this one.  So please read/review.  It means a lot to me.  The song in Draco's Point of View is "Until The Day I Die" By Story of the Year.  The song in Hermione's P.O.V. is "Dive Right In" by Story of the Year.  I guess you can tell that I'm into them now. Hehe. Anyways, on with the story….
 
 
 
 
 
I walked down the beach into the sunset. I felt my eyes burn as I stared defiantely at the sun, wishing that I could be anywhere but here. I didn't know what to say to her, or how to feel, or what to do. She probably thinks that I'm some freak, someone who hates every living creature that isn't there to serve me or to give me something that I supposedly take for granted. I wanted to tell her everything, about my abusive father, about my life, about my love for her. I wanted to so badly that I could scream. I needed her, and I didn't know why. It pissed the hell out of me that she was something that I couldn't have or control. Maybe that's why I wanted her so bad. They say that you always want what you can't have. 




 





 
It was funny to me that someone can be the reason why you keep going everyday and have no clue about it. I think that she knew that I still cared, that I still wanted her. I don't know. But I do know that she doesn't give a rat's ass about me and probably never will. I always felt as though I had to prove myself to her, and it killed me. Why couldn't anyone except for Pansy fucking Parkinson just accept me for who I am? Well, Parkinson didn't really truly care about me I think. I think that she was just looking for a good fuck with a good sized wallet to support her for the rest of her meaningless existance. I needed to tell Hermione everything, but I couldn't. I couldn't take another one of her rejections because it probably would kill me.




 





 
As years go by I race the clock with you
 
But if you died right now, you know that I'd die too
 
I'd die too
 
You remind me of the times when I knew who I was
 
still the second hand will catch us
 
Like it always does.....




 





 
She just killed me. Everything about her was killing me slowly. Her curly hair, her brown eyes and her vicious sarcasm. It killed me. I needed to stop being such a pussy and talk to her. I mean what is the worst that could happen? 




 





 





 
/*/*/*/




 





 
I walked nervously toward the breaking waves on the ocean shore. I never thought about doing something like this before, but it seemed kind of pointless to go on. No one cared about me, no one. I felt my toes touch the cool water. It felt refreshing, sort of like I was being born again in a way. I walked in until the water was waist deep and dove under a breaker. I picked up a few rocks off of the floor and resurfaced. I stuck them in the pockets of my shorts and into my bra so that I could be weighed down. I took my last breath and slipped under the surface.
 
 
Here I go
I'll dive right in
Break right through the waves
Straight to the ocean floor
 
And although my hands are shaking,
I lie perfectly still
Cause I'm determined
To let myself sink down



It was cool and dark, and I shut my eyes to ease the pain that was about to come. I felt my lungs begin to burn and resisted the urge to rise to the surface and breathe again. I thought of my life, of school, and of my family. But with each passing moment the pain increased and my thoughts began to fade away. As the seconds ticked away, everything became darker and darker and I felt as though something was breaking all of the chains that kept me a prisioner. I felt my head get light and feel as though it was going to float off, and suddenly I felt free from everything that once imprisioned my soul. 

And I know, I'm buried too far down
To feel the warmth of the sun again
I could wave my arms and swim away,
but never reach the shore
 
But for now I will lay 
face first in the sand
with the wreckage from ships that lost their way
 
And I know, I'm buried too far down
To feel the warmth of the sun again……

Everything turned to a beautiful white light, a light that made me feel warm, safe, and content.  I never felt so happy before in my life, and I never felt so scared either.  I tried to fight my way to the surface, but I couldn't move, and shut my eyes, trying to think of what was to come.


/*/*/*/*/

I stood in the stillness not making a sound, not even loud enough for someone to hear me breathe. I closed my eyes and pretended that I was invisible, that no one could see me or hear me, as if I was underwater, and I thought of her. And what I would do to be hers. I would kill, lie, cheat, steal, kill, you name it. I would do it, because she's one of those girls that you will never forget, no matter how hard you try to. I got up off the warm sand and walked through the darkness to try and find her.


We make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do...
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you
For you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you...



I walked quickly and at a steady pace towards our makeshift campsite. Everything was a blur to me, and it was as if the world was moving in slow motion. I could think of nothing else but her, and I was thinking about what I was going to say to her when I saw her. She was so smart and intelligent, that anything I ever said made me feel stupid.


Should I bite my tounge 'till blood soaks my shirt?
We never fall apart
Tell me why these words hurt so much?


I finally reached the campsite and she was nowhere in sight. Shit, shit, shit. Maybe she went for a walk or something. I walked up and down the beach, looking for her and even daring to call her name, but my calls went unanswered. I walked along the shoreline and felt something soft and cold sweep against my foot. I looked down to see a pale hand under the clear water. I fell down to the sand and pulled it out. It was her. Completely limp and lifeless. Oh my god. She fucking drowned. I remember taking some muggle sort of first aid in my third year, and so I set her on the sand and blew air into her and pumped her chest, praying that she would live. I noticed rocks in her shorts and one in her bra. Oh my God. She was trying to kill herself. I hated her, hated the fact that she had to do this to me. To me when I'm at my fucking weakest.


My hand's around your throat and I think I hate you
Still they say we never win
Just like we always do
Just like we always do...
I'd spill my heart
I'd spill my heart for you...



I kept breathing into her, with everything I had. I watched her face through blurry eyes remain motionless. My arms became numb because I was holding her for so long. I finally let her go and realized that she was dead and that there was nothing I could do. I looked up at the moon and wondered why I was being put through all of this shit. All of this was like a test, but I wondered who the sick fuck was that enjoyed my pain.


My hand's around your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes just like friends do
My hands around your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
We made the same mistakes.....



I closed my eyes and wondered when it would all be over, when I thought that I heard a muffled cough. My eyes jerked open to see her gasping for air. I pumped on her chest and breathed into her once more and lifted her over my shoulder. I felt her take a breath and sighed with relief. She was alive.


"Hermione...Are you ok?" I said.


"What?" She said faintly.


"Are you ok?" I said again, and looked straight into her eyes. She coughed.


"Yeah...I'm fine," She replied looking weaker than ever.


"What happened?" I asked.


"Uhh, I don't know. I went swimming and then I don't remember much else," She said. She was lying, but I don't blame her. I don't exactly have the reputation for being trustworthy.

"Are you sure you're ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm ok," She replied.

"Well, what do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Uhh, I'm kinda hungry I guess," She replied.


"Oh. Umm, well, do you want something to eat?" I asked her, not knowing what else to say, and not wanting to say to her what I knew.


"Yeah, I guess. Uhh, Draco, thanks," She replied.


"It was nothing... Let's go get something to eat," I said. I pulled her up off the ground and she almost fell again.


"I'll carry you," I offered.


"You don't have to, I'm fine," She said.


"No you're not. You don't always have to pretend you're fine when you aren't," I replied.


"Since when did you care?" She asked. I began to feel nervous but I sure as hell didn't show it.


"I don't know, maybe since I found you almost dead?" I replied.


"Ohh. Whatever," She said and walked quickly in front of me and then sat on one of the rocks.


"Well what do you plan to eat?" She asked.


"I guess coconuts will have to do," I replied and then threw one at the wall and watched it break in two. Then I threw two more and picked them up off the ground.


"Wow, I'm so impressed, Superman," She said sarcastically.


"Fine, I guess I'll just eat this all by myself," I said with a smirk.


"Shut the fuck up and give me my half," She said.


"Ooh, feisty are we? I like it," I replied. She walked up to me, and was about an inch away from my face. Oh God, she made me nervous. While I was looking into her eyes, she grabbed the coconut out of my hands. Damn her. Damn her to hell.


"Ha. Finally, I win," She said.


"Since when do you ever lose at anything?" I asked her. What the fuck? This girl has everything...brains, beauty, an amazingly sharp sarcastic sense of humor, friends, the fucking list goes on and on. Well then again, she did just try to commit suicide....I think.


"Don't fucking start, Draco," She replied.


"What the fuck? You have everything, Hermione, you have friends, intelligence, guys that want you, a wicked sense of humor, oh and, you're beautiful. I see it in your eyes, somethings wrong. What's the matter?" I said, sort of embarassed at spilling my part of my soul to her.


"Nothing, nothing. I guess i'm just tired, its been a long day," She replied. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a huge towel and blanket, and laid one on top of the other and crawled in between. I watched her, watched the moonlight reflect off of the golden flecks in her eyes, and watched the light brown curls fall against her bare shoulders. She was beautiful.


"Are you going to go to sleep now?" She asked, ripping me from my thoughts.


"Yeah, I guess," I laid on a flat rock that was longer than my body and stared up and the beautiful night sky. I couldn't get over the fact that she tried to kill herself. She's not the type of girl to do that. Or thats what I thought. But she made everyone around her so happy and so sad at the same time. It was starnge to me that you could feel those two emotions at the same tim. I thought of one of those cheesy quotes that girls write all over their parchments. ' If I had a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole sky in the palm of my hand...' But, cheesiness aside, I guess it was true.


/*/*/*/


I hated the fact that I was lying to him. I hated it. But, he couldn't know the truth, he couldn't know. I couldn't tell him that he was partly the reason of why I wanted to kill myself. I stared at him laying on the rock, wanting him to be laying next to me. I didn't know what to say, but I figured I should stop being a coward and just say what was on my mind.

"Draco, you don't have to sleep on a fucking rock. There is room next to me if you want to," I said.


"I'm fine," He replied. Fuck, now I look like the desperate one.


"I don't want you sleeping on a rock when there's work to be done tomorrow," I lied.


"I guess you're right," He said, getting up and then getting next to me. I guess I couldn't help it when my heart skipped a beat. Ugh I sound like a fucking giddy schoolgirl.


"Well, Goodnight," He said.


"Yeah, see you in the morning," I replied and pretended to close my eyes and fall asleep. I listened to him breathe, felt him move, amd took in his soul. I just fucking wished that he felt the same. But, some things don't always go your way, I guess. Whatever. I just hated the fact that no matter how hard I tried I could never get him out of my head. I hated it. But, I loved him. I don't know why, but I just did. I looked up at the night sky, and looked at the North Star. It was bright and beautiful and everyone saw this one first. It reminded me of him. Draco was bright, beautiful and it drew people to him, it was magnetic.


"I love you," I whispered so softly that no one but me could hear it, and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.



Until the day I die, I'll spill my heart for you....

//--I hope that you liked it.  Please review, it means a lot to me, even if you don't like this chapter.  That way I can improve on the next one. Thankz so much….and if I get a lot of reviews then I'll post the next chapter faster. K?

xoxo, Tinkerbelle