// Hello everyone! Long time, no see, I know. I haven't had much time to write, because I recently lost one of my friends in a car crash, and everyone in the crash was in the hospital. So, I have not had much of a chance to write. This chapter reflects the darkness that I have been feeling, and I hope that you all like it. The song in Draco's part is "The Reason" By Hoobastank, and the song in Hermione's part is "Shadow" By Britney Spears. Normally I am not a Britney fan, but this song fit the chapter. So read on, and enjoy.
As I was walking down the hallway with Hermione, I was thinking about all that Dumbledore had said. Training camps started tomorrow, and girls would be separated from boys for the two weeks of camp. I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her all day; it was torture. We both agreed not to tell anyone about our love, because we did not want it to become tainted by other's jealously and hate. I walked by her side, never once holding her hand, even though my hand seemed to almost gravitate towards hers, as if it belonged there. When we finally approached our portrait, I said the password with an exasperated sigh, glad to finally be home.
"It feels so good to be home," Hermione said as she raced towards up the stairs. When I caught up with her, she was reading a stack of letters that had been left at her desk. One single letter was placed on mine. I unrolled the parchment to find the neat script of my father's, that I had come to know so well.
Draco -
The war has started sooner then expected. Voldemort has his closest Death Eaters with him and we expect you to join us. You should arrive here within the next two weeks. I know you're at that Monde Verden that the muggle loving bastard arranges every year for you seventh years. I would also like for you to bring Pansy with you, whom Voldemort wants you to marry and produce an heir for him with. This is a high honor. Do not disappoint me, or you will face the consequences, and it will not be enjoyable, I assure you.
-Lucius
I felt the color drain out of my face, and stared out the window, looking at the dark blue waters of the lake out in front of me. I glanced over at Hermione, her face aglow when she read the words on the long scroll that was in front of her. I stared into space, wondering what the future was to bring. I wondered if she would be faithful and loyal, and what would happen if her friends ever found out. I thought about if us being together was really worth it, and what the consequences would be if anyone ever found out. I thought about all of the horrid crap I put her through during all of our years at Hogwarts all these years, and how much I regretted it. Her hand on mine ripped me out of my thoughts and I focused in on her honey brown eyes.
I'm not a
perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a
reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
"What's the matter?" She asked, looking concerned.
"Nothing," I replied dully.
"Are you sure?" She asked, staring at me. I felt uncomfortable, and I sure as hell didn't feel like explaining the whole thing with Lucius with her. I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her. The letter fell to the floor, along with all of my cares. Nothing mattered when I was with her, and it seemed to me that my worries melted away when we were together. We walked backwards, kissing all the while to my bedroom. My hands fidgeted with the doorknob, and we walked slowly back into my bed, never stopped for a breath, never stopped to think or reason. Her kiss changed me, let me escape from the horrors and live in a world that was perfect, where nothing was ever wrong. I forgot about my father, my life, the war; everything. Nothing mattered when I was with her.
I'm sorry
that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I didn't want to admit that she had changed me. I'm not the type to. I never was. But she has changed me, whether it was for the good or for the bad. I noticed that the first thoughts that came to my mind were not hateful or jealous, but of her. She replaced my anger with beauty and love. However, when she wasn't around, I couldn't help but think about the problems of my life, about telling everyone that we were together, that I might lose her in the war, that my father... might... Well I couldn't really think of that now.
I'm not a
perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Her warm embrace and soft skin erased every rational thought in my head and replaced them with her skin, her scent, and her beauty. Swirls of green and black silk seemed to enclose us in a world that only consisted of us. I kissed every inch of her, wanting to never let her go. When she and I were together, it wasn't about getting action, it was about love. It might sound cheesy or cliché, but we truly made love in every sense of the word.
After we finished, we laid on my bed, staring at the bewitched night sky of my ceiling. I took in the lilac scent of her, the soft, sweet smell that I had come to know and that was my solace. She had saved me from the monster I would have become. I still harbored resentment for those that had the so-called perfect life, away from the pain and struggle of an abusive set of parents and being pledged from birth to serve one of the most purely evil people in the universe. My eyes became really heavy and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
/*/*/*/*/*
I woke to a cold breeze sweeping across my skin and softly rustling the bed covers from my body. I noticed that a window was open, and I got up to close it, and noticed that the temperature had dropped since we came back. I glanced over to Draco as he was sleeping, and stared in awe at his beauty. His cheeks were flushed a soft shade of rose, and his skin was a beautiful shade of ivory. I wondered if life could get any better. I then wondered about telling everyone about us, and what their reaction would be. I really didn't want to know, so I figured that it was best that we keep it a secret for a little while until things calm down a bit and everyone settles back into their regular lives.
I heard a loud knock on the portrait and scrambled to put some decent clothes on, wondering who it could be. I walked quickly to the door, and opened it. It was Dumbledore, who looked surprisingly old; almost defeated.
"Hello, Hermione. Get Draco, now, we need to have a meeting, this is very serious. Go!" He bellowed, and I stood there in disbelief at his statement.
"Go! We don't have much time!" He said urgently. I ran to Draco's room, and shook him until he woke.
"What?" He said groggily.
"Get Up! Dumbledore is here and he's really scared, or something, I don't know.... Just get down there as fast as you can," I said, turned on my heel and ran back downstairs.
"What's wrong, Professor?" I said running back into the living room. He put his head in his hands, replied softly.
"Let's wait until Draco gets here - Ah, Draco, here you are, please sit," He said. We both sat down on the couch next to each other.
"As you know, war between the dark and the light sides was imminent since we knew Voldemort was back. We all knew it was coming, but we didn't know how, or when. We need to mobilize a force of at least 40,000 by Monday. This will be some feat, being that it is Thursday," He said, almost serenely.
"What the hell is going on? Why so soon? What happened?" Draco said in disbelief.
"I don't want to tell the other students until it is necessary, but I figure you two should know. Beauxbatons has been attacked. They cursed the whole school and about 4,000 out of their 6,500 students have died. The only ones that escaped were those in the dungeons. It is only a matter of time before they come and get us. That is why we have to protect you, and everyone at Hogwarts," He said, looking at us with an air of hope.
"Oh My God," I said, not knowing what else to do. Draco stared at the floor.
"Well, what I need you to do is get the first and second years out of here. You will then take them to Fisher's Island, an island off the coast of Africa that is invisible to all that do not know it is there, including wizards. Hogwart's made that island a few years back in case this was to happen. They will be safe there. You will then return back here. Mrs. Weasley graciously volunteered to watch the children. I then expect you, Hermione, to be head of all nurses and Medicare here, along with Madame Pomferey, since your parents were what? Muggle doctors? Or...What is that word.. Dentists?" He said, looking almost puzzled.
"What?!?!? I do not know much about medical care, for my parents were very secretive about their work, and I'm sure that soldiers won't really care about their teeth. I've only read one health book during Herbology," I replied, becoming suddenly nervous that I could have someone's life in my hands.
"You will go to Madame Pomferey tonight, and have a crash course in medical care. Draco, I do not know what side you are truly on, and I think you need to make a decision here and now. We either need to have you, or not. I do not want someone on my army that does not know which side they are truly working for," He said gravely.
"Sir, I just received a letter from my father demanding that I join their side. Although I have already been anointed a Death Eater, I do not wish to be a part of their cause. I feel as though you and everyone else here have helped me to become who I am. I truly am loyal to the light side, and I will fight until the death, if necessary," He said, and I didn't hear much more of his speech, I just remember gasping for air and feeling cold tears running down my face.
"Hermione, are you alright?" Dumbledore said.
"Yes, Professor, I'm fine," I said, wiping away tears from my eyes and trying to remain strong.
"Alright, well I have to go talk to Snape about healing potions for you and Madame Pomfrey. I will see you at the Main Hall for dinner, I presume," He said, turning his back and walking out, without waiting for a goodbye.
"What the fuck are we going to do now," Draco said, exasperated.
"I don't know, but I think we have to tell our friends that we are together, because we don't need to hide anything at a time like this," I said, looking down at my shoes.
"Are you fucking bloody mad?" He replied, raising his voice with his face twisted.
"Umm...No. I just figured that we shouldn't hide anything anymore, that this war is too important to be worrying about hiding this," I said.
"You are out of your mind!!! They're going to kick my ass, alienate you, and we'll both be fucked. Sometimes you are really fucking stupid!" He screamed at me.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you hear what you are saying??" I said, pleading, begging, for him to understand how important this was to me.
Your body's warm
But you are not
You give a little
Not a lot
You keep your love
Until we kiss
You're all I want
But not like this
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
"You are just acting so fucking stupid! Do you think I really need any more problems now?? Especially with my father? Do you think this is easy for me?" He yelled, grabbing my shoulders.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why? What did I do wrong?" I asked, feeling cold tears run down my face.
It's only
your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon
And leaving too soon
"Nothing. Forget it. You just don't understand how hard my life is when you have lived in a bubble all your fucking joyous life," He spat.
"You think my life is perfect? Are you fucking nuts? How do you think it
felt to be the ugly one all these years? You only became nice to me after I
changed my looks," I said with disgust.
Your body
gives
But then holds back
The sun is bright
The sky is black
Can only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn't mine
You left and it lingers on
But you, you are almost gone
"No, I didn't. You're just imagining things," He said.
"I can't stand you like this....What happened to the Draco that I love?
The one that loved me in return?" I asked, looking into his cold eyes.
"Why don't you go ask Harry or Ron, they'll probably love to hear about
how the asshole Draco is hurting poor Hermione," He said
"Just let me go, Draco. We're over,
you made that clear," I said.
"Even if we aren't together, you are still changed. You are no longer Miss Perfect. You are tarnished. I touched you. I took you for mine. I know I'm not good enough for you. What are you gonna do now? Go run back to Harry and Ron? Well you can't. You won't be able to. Not after us," He said, his eyes steady on mine.
"I hate you," I whispered, and then he turned around and walked back
into his room.
I cannot
tell if you mean what you say
You say it so loud, but you sound far away
Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
It's only your shadow......
I hated everything that he had become. He was showing me a side of him that I
had seen so many years before, but that I had wished and hoped had went away. I
thought that I had changed him, or helped him to show his true self and not the
cruel façade that he had shown for so many years. I crashed down onto the couch
and let the tears flow out of my eyes. I
felt so pathetic for trusting him, for thinking that he had changed for
me. I was so...so stupid. I couldn't believe that he did this to
me. I closed my eyes and felt the tears
pool inside them. I hated my life, and I
hated everything he had become, everything that I had become.
It was true, he had tarnished me. I couldn't really help that, because I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. However, I never regretted the time that I spent with him, because he had made me feel so free, so alive, and so beautiful. I had never felt that way before, with anyone. I had never felt appreciated or loved as much before in my life, and that is probably the reason why I trusted him so fully and completely, without reservation. I stared up at the bewitched ceiling, at one star, and wished with every fiber of my being that this would all be over soon.
/*/*/*/*/
I woke to a horrific headache and spilt vodka all over my floor. I reeked of cigarette smoke and noticed the burnt out stubs all around my room. I noticed that my arm hurt, and I looked at it, gasping at the long slice on my arm. I didn't really remember much of last night, except that Hermione and I had a huge row last night about us telling the whole bloody world about us. Well, not anymore, since there was no us. I remembered that much. I walked over to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. I looked like death run over. I sighed and got in the shower, then got dressed and walked down to the Main Hall without even seeing her. I was sort of relieved that I didn't have to deal with her, to tell the truth.
I sat down next to Blaise, whom I secretly despised, and poured myself a glass of orange juice. As I drank, I felt my arm throb and realized that I forgot to do that spell that counteracts pain from a cut.
"Wow, Malfoy, you look like shit. What happened?" He asked, looking at me with a fake look of sadness on his foul face.
"None of your god damned business," I spat.
"Ooh, someone's bitching this morning," He said laughing. If he only knew what I had been through the night before.
"You shut your fucking mouth or my fist will be in it," I replied, staring at my plate of eggs.
"Fine," He replied, and turned around to talk to Julius Flint, another asshole of Slytherin. As he turned to talk to Julius, I suddenly felt her presence; it was almost like a sixth sense. I looked up from my plate of food to see her walk in, hair bouncing and shining in the sun, and a smile plastered across her face. You wouldn't know she had a care in the world. She walked up to Harry and Ron, and gave them both a kiss on the cheek. She sat in between them and got herself a plate of food, and ate, not looking at me once. I felt like shit for some of the stuff I said to her, and regretted it. Dumbledore then announced that the Heads (I guess that meant me), should take the first and second years to the stationed Portkeys, and so I got up, and walked solemnly to the double doors, waiting for the young Slytherins to follow me, which they did. After I was surrounded by the little brats I opened the door and walked out, as if I was on autopilot. I heard them talking excitedly, wondering about where they were going, who they were going to bunk with, etc. I was jealous of them. Jealous that they were to be protected and that I was not. Jealous that they had nothing to care about, and that I did. We arrived to the Portkeys, and I faintly heard Hermione tell them to partner up and to touch the Portkey two at a time. After every little one had gone, it was just her and I.
"Go ahead," She said.
"No, we'll go together," I said with hope, looking at her.
"If you wish," She said emotionless. I grabbed her hand and touched the Portkey. We seemed to defy time, space, and life. I loved the feeling of flying in a Portkey. We finally arrived at Fisher's Island, finding all the little kids surrounding Mrs. Weasley. Hermione ran up to her and gave her a big hug. They embraced, and then talked for awhile. I stood by myself for awhile, not knowing what to do. I felt my arm and noticed that my robe was soaked in blood. Everything was somewhat blurry, so I searched for my wand in my robes to perform that spell, and suddenly everything went black.
/*/*/*/
I hope that you enjoyed it. Now please review!! You know how much it means to me. If you all review, I will post the next chapter. Tee hee, I'm so evil, yes I know. So click the button and revieewwwww!
xoxo, Tinkerbelle