Quote of the Day: Laughing when there was no one else around to laugh with was just another sign that you were taking a one-way trip to that fabled land of bananas. – Larry, The Stand by Stephen King

Hey, how many of you know more than me about the Egyptian gods/goddesses? Anyone want to pre-read parts of my chapters and make sure I don't make any more mistakes? Or even suggest a link to a good site? That would help me a lot! Drop me an email if you're interested.

Disclaimer: Don't own. So here.

HOLY RA!

---Chapter Four: Befuzzling Body Swap---

"How are we going to get outta here?" Marik whined. "I wanna go home!"

"Shhh!" Yugi shushed, crouching behind a sand dune, trying to see what would happen between Set and Yami. "Hey," he said, turning to look at Marik. "What are you doing here, anyway? I mean, it makes sense for me, Ryou, and Kaiba to be here, we all have yamis. But you…"

Marik fixed him with a steady stare. "I had a yami. Sure, he was a little psychotic, but he was still my yami!"

"He doesn't count!" Yugi scoffed. "He was a result of your pent-up anger…or whatever."

"Nu-uh!" Marik shook his head fiercely. "He had a past here!"

"Ok then…Who was he in his past life?" Yugi asked.

At that moment, a few miles away, past-Malik Ishtar was sneaking into the high priest Kaiba's quarters, only to realize that the priest, and the Millennium Rod, were gone. Well, he did a great deal of cursing then looted the Pharaoh's room instead (lots of pretty shiny things). Then, once he'd stashed his treasure in his now bulging pockets, he went back to mopping the corridors. Life wasn't easy for an ancient Egyptian janitor.

--

The Pharaoh looked awkwardly at his feet, then looked to his priest, who was staring off into the distance. Yami sighed and resumed the examination of his sandals.

Startled out of his reverie by his companion's sigh, Set's icy eyes came up and locked onto the only other living thing in sight: Yami. "Well," the priest said, staring the Pharaoh down, "this has certainly been an interesting day."

Yami winced. "I'm sorry," he said as he avoided Set's eye contact. He cast his eyes about, searching for something to anchor his eyes onto. A glint of red drew his eyes to it and held them. Wait. Red?

"Set?" Yami asked, still looking at the little red bottle.

Set sighed. "I don't want to talk to you. You're the one who got me into this mess."

"But Set…"

"Ha! As if the wannabe with the trench coat could be my reincarnation. He's such a pain. A regular cold fish. Sheesh, he could at least show some emotion every once in a while!"

"But Set, you never-"

"You know, if I hadn't followed you out here I wouldn't be in this mess."

"Seeeeeet!"

"No. I just had to let my emotions take control. I had to listen to my heart!"

Yami choked. "The almighty Set has a heart?!"

Blue eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Why did you follow me out here?" Yami asked, a mischievous grin spreading over his face.

Sniffing, Set turned his back to the Pharaoh. "Just forget it."

"Oh no. I'm afraid that's impossible." He put a hand on Set's shoulder only to have it swatted away. "You dare incur my wrath?" Yami whispered lowly.

Set laughed. "Wrath? What wrath? You have the wrath of a five year old!"

"At least I don't dress like one," the angered Pharaoh mumbled. "I mean, come on, a purple dress?!"

"I hate you," Set spat under his breath.

"I hate you more!" the Pharaoh snapped.

"Is that the best comeback you could come up with?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you say a better one?"

"Because."

"That's not an answer."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"Is not times infinity!"

Having no handy comeback, the Pharaoh did the first thing that came to mind. He tackled his high priest. They both fell tumbling to the ground, biting, scratching, kicking, like two pissed off alley cats. Set's ridiculously tall headdress went flying. Yami lost a sandal. The Millennium Rod was knocked from Set's hands and went flying past the Pharaoh, cutting the rope that held the Millennium Puzzle around his kingly neck. Both Items went flying and landed a few feet away from their owners in the sand.

And who should see the unguarded Items but the tomb robber. With what one could almost call stealth, he began sneaking over. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. He slowly turned around, fully expecting to see those horrible crocodiles who had so often haunted his dreams. What he saw wasn't exactly horrible. More like adorable.

"Please don't steal their Items," Ryou said, his big brown eyes pleading.

Bakura winced, thinking, Must…resist…cuteness…! But it was no use. "Damnit!" he burst out. "Fine, fine, FINE!"

Ryou smiled and led the grumbling tomb robber back to the others: a sulking CEO, a dozing tomb keeper, and a happy reincarnation of a fierce Pharaoh.

Meanwhile, the Pharaoh and his High Priest were still busy with their little catfight.

"Wait! Wait!" Set called out.

Yami paused, wondering why tall strong Set would want to back down. Could it have something to do with the fact that Yami was kicking his priestly butt? Yami shrugged, sitting up from his position on Set's chest. "Yes?" he asked, looking down at his trapped priest, extremely happy at the fact that Set had to look up to meet his eyes.

"Couldn't we settle this in a more civilized manner?" he asked. "I mean, what were we even arguing about in the first place?"

"Why did you come after me?" Yami asked evenly.

Set looked around uncomfortably as Yami's crimson eyes bored into him. "I-"

"Well?" He pinned the priest's wrists above his head.

All of his energy, his will to fight, had suddenly been drained from him. Ok, what was he going to tell Yami? Why had he come all the way out here after him? The poor priest didn't even really know that for himself.

"Are you going to answer me?"

Was it just Set, or was Yami's face getting bigger by the moment? The Pharaoh was slowly moving closer, making the priest very uncomfortable. "Yami." His voice was a breathy whisper and he hated it for sounding anything but cool and composed. "Ya-" The Pharaoh's face was unbelievably close and Set shivered as a dozen nasty images filled his head. "-mi."

The priest gasped as he felt hot breath in his ear. "Why did you come after me?" Yami's breathy voice whispered in his ear.

Set made a strange noise in his throat. Suddenly, he spotted the little red bottle. "Yami?" he asked, his eyes fixed on the shiny red glass. "Isn't that Seth's bottle?"

Yami followed his priest's gaze. "Oh yeah! That's what I kept trying to ask you!"

Set sweatdropped. "Well, yeah, it is."

"Oh. Hey! Maybe there's some left over magic in it! Combined with the power of the Millennium Items we have, it might just be enough to send our visitors from the future back home!" The Pharaoh looked very excited. He did so love showing off his skills with Millennium Magic.

Set scowled. "Good. I don't particularly like that supposed 'reincarnation' of mine."

"Why not?" Yami asked. "You two are exactly alike."

The Priest's scowl deepened. "We are not!"

Yami shrugged.

"So, uh, you wanna get off me now?"

"No."

Set sweatdropped. Lucky for him, Yugi was beginning to fear that his yami would tear the priest's eyes out. So he ventured over and of course the others followed.

"And what exactly are you two doing?" Bakura asked with a grin as he looked down upon the Pharaoh and his pinned priest.

Set's eye twitched. "Get. Off. Me. NOW."

Yami smirked. "No."

The priest looked horrified.

"Get off of him." They all looked up at Seto Kaiba.

"No," Yami said again. "I'm the Pharaoh. You can't just order me around like that."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "You're a spoiled little brat, that's what you are."

Yami and Set gasped. No one talked to the Pharaoh that way! The Pharaoh was the most important person in most people's lives. He was their only connection to the gods. To speak of him in such a way would surely mean death! Bakura only laughed.

Lucky for Kaiba, or maybe not, Yami seemed to like him a bit, or maybe more, than the others. "Very well then," he said, as he slid off of his priest.

Kaiba nodded, used to people following his orders. However, he wasn't used to people tackling him, which was exactly what Yami did next.

Marik grinned. "Dogpile!" he shouted as he went flying to land on top of the tackled Kaiba.

Bakura shrugged and joined them with a loud, "WOOO!"

Yugi and Ryou stood on the sidelines, waiting to see the priest's reactions.

They weren't pretty.

Now very angry, Set picked up his fallen Millennium Item and stalked over to the 'dogpile.' Using the Item's magic, he lifted Bakura and Marik a few feet in the air and casually tossed them to the side, like a smelly pair of socks. The tomb robber and the tomb keeper landed ungracefully a few feet away and proceeded to disentangle their tangled limbs, vowing to get revenge.

The irate priest then turned his Item on the Pharaoh. "Off," he said, rather commanded, in a low voice.

"Make me," the Pharaoh growled back, knowing very well that the priest wouldn't dare use a Millennium Item on his Pharaoh.

At least, thinking he knew very well that the priest wouldn't dare use a Millennium Item on his Pharaoh.

"Very well then." He lifted the Millennium Rod, preparing to get the Pharaoh off of his reincarnation by force. He swung the Rod forward, not a necessary action, it just looked cool.

Involuntarily, Yami lifted his arm in front of his face to shield what looked like it was going to be a blow. He knew that Set wouldn't hurt him on purpose, yes, actually knew, but his arm came up on its own.

Set, who had been planning to stop the Rod right before it hit the Pharaoh's face, cried out and tried to stop, but it was too late. One of the Item's wings sliced the Pharaoh's arm, spilling a few drops of blood onto the sand.

Everyone froze, not knowing what to do or say. Which turned out to be a good thing because at that moment, the world swirled and they all blacked out.

--

"Ngh." Set opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing his head. He rubbed his eyes, which weren't exactly focused, but only succeeded in making them more blurry. After a few moments, his vision cleared and he took a look around. Those people from the future were still there, all apparently unconscious, as was the Egyptian kid with the purple shirt. But that one, the brunette with the cold stare and bad attitude, was missing. As was the Pharaoh!

Great, he thought bitterly. Not knowing what else to do, he reached out a hand and shook the shoulder of Tomb Robber's reincarnation, deciding to ask him if he knew what had happened. It was then that he noticed his hand. "What?! Since when have I been pale?!"

"You have no right to complain." Set looked to the tomb robber's reincarnation, who had awakened. "Look at me! I'm so pale! And with my white hair!" He sighed.

Set stared at him for a moment. "Tomb Robber?" That boy did not sound like the British kid. "What are you doing in your reincarnation's body?"

"What are you doing in yours?" the tomb robber shot back.

"Huh. That'd explain the trench coat."

Bakura nodded.

"So that means…" He rushed to the one named Yugi's side and gently lifted him up. "Pharaoh? Pharaoh? Yami?!"

Yami mumbled something, then opened his eyes. "Uh, Seto, was it?" he asked.

Set shook his head. "No, it's me, Set."

"Set?!" He looked down at himself. "Hey, where'd my tan go?!"

Set sweatdropped. "That's what we're all wondering."

Bakura let out a low whistle. "I guess what they say is true. When the Pharaoh's blood is spilled on the sands of Egypt, some freaky shit goes down."

"Yeah, guess so." The three displaced Egyptians turned to Marik.

"Who are you?" Set asked.

Marik snorted. "I'm me. Duh. Y'know, hot guy with the great tan and the lavender bellyshirt. Y'dig? Savvy? Hello?"

The others were ignoring him.

"Great, how are we supposed to get out of this?" Bakura asked.

"Dues ex Machina," Marik mumbled.

"No," Yami said. "First we have to futilely try to find a way to get out of this for ourselves. Then, when all hope is lost, the gods will come to our aid!"

Marik nodded. "Yeah, I just said that."

Again, he was ignored.

"Alright," Bakura said, clapping his hands together once. "Sounds like a plan. What'll we try first?"

"The Millennium Items, of course!" Yami cried.

Set sweatdropped.

The now pale Pharaoh picked up the Millennium Puzzle and tossed the Rod to Set, nearly taking the poor priest's ear off. Then, he began to tap into the immense power of his Item, confident that they would all soon be in their proper bodies.

Only one thing was wrong.

"I can't tap into the power of the Millennium Item!" he cried.

Not about to miss a chance to show up the Pharaoh, Bakura tried the Ring. "Damnit! How dare you betray me, Ring?!"

Set tried his and shook his head. "Nope. It must be these bodies. They are unused to magics and such."

"Hey, you," Marik said to Set. "Pretty boy! Blue eyes!"

"What?" Set snapped.

"Gimme the Rod."

"What?!"

Marik shrugged. "I controlled the Millennium Rod at one point. Well, until a certain Pharaoh decided to foil my plans of world domination." He shot Yami an angry glare, to which Yami returned a befuzzled (1) one. "But, y'know, not my fault. Anyway, maybe I can still use it…"

"No."

"But-"

"Nope, nu-uh, no way. How do I know you'll return it once you're done?"

Marik grinned slyly. "You don't, do you. You'll just have to trust me, Kaiba-boy."

"…Never call me that again."

"'K. That was the other you anyway." He held out his hand. "The Item."

Set looked hopelessly to the Pharaoh, wanting very much not to give his precious Millennium Rod to the psycho. Yami only met his eyes and nodded. Reluctantly, Set slowly started to hand the Rod over.

"WAIT!"

Everyone turned to Bakura.

"How will the Millennium Rod help us in this situation?" he asked, waving his hand for emphasis. "I mean, what are you going to do, take control of some god's mind and command them to return us to our bodies?" He chuckled. "Somehow, I don't think that will work."

Set snatched the Rod back.

"Noooo!" Marik whined. "I was gonna steal it! How dare you foil my master plan?!"

Winking, Bakura replied, "That was for trying to seduce me with your little dance after you called that dues ex whatever. No one seduces Bakura, King of Thieves! No one! HAHAHAHA!"

"…" How can he resist me? Marik thought, panicked. I'm still pretty. Aren't I? Oh gods, I need a mirror, damnit! Then he shrugged, deciding that could wait and that he'd eventually make the tomb robber fall for him. But until then…

"HIYA!" He grabbed the Millennium Rod. "Gimme! Gimme! GIMME!"

Set still had the other end. "NEVER!"

"Stop grabbing his Rod!" Bakura yelled, grabbing Marik around the waist from behind.

Yami sweatdropped as he watched the Priest, the tomb robber, Marik in their three-way tug-of-war. It was then that he once again spotted the bottle and decided to pick it up this time. "Hmmm, it's kind of dusty. Hey, I think I'll rub it off!" And so he did.

Suddenly, blue and green sparks stared escaping from the bottle, followed by thick purple smoke that billowed around Yami like a cloud. Then a voice, a low laugh.

"No!" Marik, seeing what Yami had done, shouted, breaking free of the other two, sending them sprawling to the ground, and rushing at Yami. "What have you done?!"

"I-I only rubbed some dust off of a bottle!" Yami's reply came from somewhere inside the smoke.

"Pharaoh!" Set struggled to get up, but Bakura held him down, shaking his head slightly, serious for once.

Pacing before the smoke cloud, Marik shook his head. "Didn't he see Aladdin? It's probably a genie."

"Aren't genies supposed to be good and grant you wishes?" Bakura asked hopefully, from atop the struggling priest.

Marik only shook his head again. "Sometimes they're all good and fun. Other times they're wicked beings, hating fate for stuffing them into bottles or lamps and forcing them to grant wished to humanity for all of eternity."

"Whoah. That's deep." Bakura shook his head in wonder.

"Thanks."

"What about Yami?!" a strangled cry came from under Bakura.

Marik shrugged. "Well if it's a good genie, like the big blue one in Aladdin that came out of a lamp, we've got nothing to worry about."

"And if it's evil?!" Set nearly shrieked.

Pausing, Marik struggled to put his next few words delicately. "Um…Well, it might not be…good. It may, in fact, be, per say…bad."

Set's eyes rolled up in his head and he began twitching horribly, reminding Bakura strongly of those rabid crocodiles he'd met in the Nile the day of the Pharaoh's birthday party. "I guess I've got to save him," he mumbled. Then, with seemingly inhuman strength, he pushed Bakura off of him and charged into the smoke.

"Fool!" Marik called after him, momentarily angry. But his anger didn't last for long. "Hey," he said, eyeing the sprawled-out form of Bakura.

"Don't get any ideas," the thief said, trying, and failing, to hide a smirk.

"But we're all alone," he said, gracefully stalking over.

Bakura looked around. "So we are."

Run! One voice shouted.

Stab him! Another cried.

Make-out time! The third yelled.

Not a bad idea, the thief thought…

--

Smoke was all around, in his eyes, in every breath he took. He couldn't see his hand a foot from his face. How was he supposed to find Yami?

"YAMI!" he shouted. "YAMI! PHARAOH! YAAAAAMI!" Well, this was working out just dandy. It was just a small smoke cloud. Sure, it was thick and you couldn't see, but you'd think he'd have run into him by now-"

Thud.

"Ow!"

"Yami?" Set felt around for the fallen Pharaoh and managed to hook his elbow. "Yami?"

"Yes, yes, it's me," he said, dusting himself off, judging by the sounds of scraping silk.

"Yami!" He'd found him! He was so happy, he thought he could hug him! Which was just what he did! Slipping the Millennium Rod into a belt loop, he took the lithe Pharaoh in his arms. Yami stiffened, but soon relaxed and held his priest back. And it was all good. Until…

"AH! SET!"

"What?!"

"BIG GLOWING BLUE THING!"

"O.o Wha-"

But he didn't finish, because at that moment:

"Mister Aladdin, sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me!"

"O.o;;"

The genie from Aladdin turned around. "Hey, you're not Aladdin and his little monkey friend!"

Set shook his head. "No, we're not. And what's with the bottle? Marik said you came out of a lamp…"

Snapping his fingers, the genie yelled, "I knew it! That means that other genie is with Al…Uh oh. He was a bad genie. I gotta go!"

"Wait!" Yami called. "Can't you at least grant us one wish?"

The genie paused. "Sure, kid. Whadya want?"

"We want our bodies back. And for our reincarnations to get their own bodies back. And for our reincarnations to go…uh…back to the future."

"Hmm. Sounds more like three wishes to me."

"Please?!"

Grinning, the genie snapped his fingers again. "You got it!" Everything went black. Again.

--

Yami mumbled something incoherently and rolled over, bumping into something soft. And warm. "Mmmm…Pillow…" So he grabbed the 'pillow' and held it closer.

The 'pillow' grabbed him back.

"AHHH!" Yami screeched and jumped back and his eyes snapped open, only to come face to face with…the High Priest of the Millennium Rod. "Set." He breathed a sigh of relief and propped himself up on one elbow, checking for more normality. He appeared to have his tan back, that was good. Bakura was back to normal too, although the thief had somehow managed to find his way to Set's side and currently had an arm thrown over the sleeping priest. The tomb robber would have to be punished for that. No one touched his preist.

His priest? Since when had he been so possessive of Set?

But Set looked quite peaceful when he slept. So beautiful. An aura of something close to innocence seemed to hover about him, something so alluring that Yami felt himself being drawn closer to his sleeping priest without knowing it. Soon, he was leaning over the tall brunette…

…playing with his hair. Yes, well brown was an odd color for hair, especially Set's color. It was a rich auburn, something not many Egyptians possessed. In fact, all three of them had odd hair. Why, it was almost as if the gods themselves had brought the three together…(Hehe, I love their hair. It's so weird. Except for Seto's. It's kinda normal.)

With that thought in his head, Yami didn't notice as Bakura awoke. "Hey, where'd Marik go?" he asked, somewhat sadly. "And Ryou? And-" He paused when he saw Set under his arm. "Mm. Never mind." He snuggled back down next to Set.

"Oh no you don't!" Yami shoved Bakura off of the sleeping priest.

Growling, Bakura shoved him back. "Bugger off! He's not yours!"

"Yeah he is!"

"No."

"He's my priest!"

"…Oh yeah. Well…Uh…" Bakura trailed off and tackled him. The two tussled and fought, just like in all the other chapters, until they heard a startled cry from Set: "HOLY RA!"

END

…Apparently 'befuzzled' isn't a word…At least Microsoft Word says it isn't. I say it is! Copyright! Boo-yeah, it's mine! Yes, befuzzled is now a word and it means confused. Savvy?

You know, the real world sucks.

Anyway, the next chapter just might be the last! Gasp! Yeah, probably. But, this story's had a good run, and all good things must end. Whoever said that should be shot. Haha, just kidding. So this chapter is not the last, the next is.

In other news…Christmas is only a few days away! YAY! Feliz Navidad everyone! Or, better yet, HAPPY CHRISTMAHAUNAKWANZA!