Author's Note: Updates will be almost daily as I have no life.

The Tower of Babel

11:1 And linguists everywhere were disappointed and largely out of work, because everyone spoke the same language.

11:2 And everyone left the east, and they lived in some plain in Shinar. Hey, if 2 of every animal can fit on a boat, I suppose everyone in the world could fit on a plain.

11:3 And they said one to another, let's go to Home Depot and get some brick. And they had brick and mortar and memberships to the bricklayer's union.

11:4 And they said, Let's make a tower that will reach into heaven, despite the poor architectural technology we have.

11:5 And God saw the tower and the union lunch breaks

11:6 And God said, Everyone is getting along too well; Now they can actually accomplish things and solve problems.

11:7 Let us kick over the anthill and make them not understand each other any more, so that they can have wars and problems again. And God and His imaginary friends set off to work.

11:8 So God told them to get off His damn property or He'd call the cops, and they all abandoned the tower.

11:9 And so it's called "Babel", because God ruined everything for mankind yet again

11:10-32 Begat, begat, begat, begat, begat, begat