Harry Potter Courtroom
Me: ORDER IN THE COURT. Hello! I'm your judge today. First case.
Harry and Hermione walk up to the box thingies at the front
Me: What's the problem?
Harry: Hermione… she… Harry starts crying She… hit me!
Me: And…
Harry: That's all… Harry starts crying again.
Me: Oh lord! Hermione… is that all?
Hermione: Please call me Mrs. Katie Karlson
Me: Why?
Hermione: It sounds important!
Me: Okaaayyyy… then… Mrs. Katie Karlson, is that all?
Mrs. Katie Karlson: No
Me: What else then?
Mrs. Katie K: He wouldn't let me bite him.
Me: Uuuugggghhhhh! NEXT CASE!
Ms. Norris and Ron step up.
Me: Yes? What's the matter here?
Ron: Ms. Norris licked me. Ron looks nervously at Ms. Norris
Ms. Norris: Meooowwww!
Me: Ms. Norris! He's not even in your species!
Ms. Norris: Meow meow meow meooooowwww!
Me: OK, OK… Ron do you take Ms. Norris to be your awfully wedded… cat?
Ron: Ummmmm… Looks nervously at Ms. Norris who glares at him
Ron: Y-yes! I-I-I d-do!
Ms. Norris: Meow.
Me: Ok. Bye bye now!
Ron and Ms. Norris leave room
Me: NEXT CASE
Briteny Spears, Severus Snape, and Minerva McGonagal enter the court room
Me: Okaaayyy… what's wrong here?
Britney Spears: Severus won't go out with me! Slaps Snape
Snape: Ouch! I refuse to go out with this… this… this Justin Timberlake lover!
Britney: I HATE HIM NOW!!! NOW GO OUT WITH ME!!!
Me: Minerva… why are you here?
McGonagal: Ummmm… I don't know. I just followed Severus. Winks at Snape and Snape winks back
Me: Oh lordy! Can we have a case that doesn't involve love or that kinda stuff?
Crowd: Shakes all their heads
Me: Let's try and find one ok? NEXT CASE!
George Bush walks into courtroom with a flying waffle and Ms. Norris
George Bush: Hello good ppl of the courtroom! I would like you to meet my new wife, points at Ms. Norris and my flying waffle, Scooby-Doo. Flying waffle flys around Bush's head.
Me: Silent Ok… let me get this straight… you have a flying waffle?
Bush: Yes
Me: Where did you get a flying waffle?
Bush: The waffle house.
Me: How come it's flying?
Bush: Oh that's easy… fairy dust! Takes small bag out of pocket and sprinkles some on Ms. Norris. Ms. Norris flys around the courtroom and lands in Bush's arms.
Me: I'll pay you… Fishes around in pockets and pulls out 3 pennies. 3 Canadian pennies for all that fairy dust!
Bush: OH WOW! Canadian money! WOW! OK! Deal! Hands me fairy dust
Me: Kewl! NEXT CASE!
Crowd goes silent as doors open and Voldemort walks in.
Me: Voldemort… why are you here?
Voldemort: I want… Harry Potter! Harry stands in crowd
Voldemort: Come here Harry.
Harry foolishly walks up to Voldemort. Voldemort gets down on one knee and pulls out diamond earrings.
Voldemort: Will you marry me Harry?
Harry: Says in girly voice OMG!!! Yes! Puts on earings
Both skip hand-in-hand happily out of courtroom
Me: I'm getting to old for this! NEXT CASE! (And last case!)
Michael Jackson and the cast from Lizzie McGuire walk in
Me: What's the matter here?
Michael Jackson: Well, they won't let me be on The Lizzie McGuire show!
Hilary Duff: He doesn't belong on my show!
Guy who plays Lizzie's brother: YOUR show! It's all about me!
Hilary: Then why is the show called LIZZIE MCGUIRE?
Lizzie's Brother: They needed to find a name and they couldn't think of anything so they named after a character.
Hilary: Well then good bye! I QUIT! Hilary walks out of the courtroom
Lizzie's mom: Thanx a lot!
Me: Oh well! COURT CLOSED. Everyone out! Except you! Points to flying waffle and waffle flys toward me. We live happily ever after in the Land of Flying Things.