Disclaimer:

I do not now, nor have ever owned Rockman X / Megaman X. However, the story idea and reploid systems design is my own. Also, all characters in this fic, except for X, Zero, Alia, and Signas, are my own creations. They are not canon.

The various non-canon reploids I use in this fic are all long-time members of the 17th or 0th units, commanded by X and Zero, in my fiction universe. During off-duty times, the veteran unit members and X and Zero, are more friends than commanders and subordinates. These reploids have been members of their units for years and know each other well. This takes place sometime after X7, disregards the Rockman Zero storyline, and they are currently in a period of low maverick activity and are unwinding in the 0th unit recreation room.

Important:

Rating for this chapter is raised to PG-13 due to portrayals of drunkenness. There are a few mild curse words used in this chapter as well.

Also, this is not shonen-ai. Take it as such if you want, but that was not my intention.

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Reploid Anatomy 101 – The Effects of Alcohol on Reploid Systems

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Be careful your eyes aren't bigger than your stomach...

Especially when it comes to making bets.

Alcohol contains sugars and thus can be used in the nutrient-rich aqueous energy transfer system, which is combined with the coolant distribution network. These two systems share the same distribution network of tubes and arteries that carry the liquid mixture throughout the reploid's body to all of its systems to maintain safe temperatures and to distribute power to certain systems.

However, while the sugars in alcoholic beverages are helpful to a reploid's systems, the alcohol itself is not. The alcohol is filtered out of the stomach and into the circulatory system along with the sugars and nutrients. There, a sufficiently large concentration of alcohol acts as a dampener on the energy flows, which can cause sluggishness, decreased reflexes and coordination, and diminished sensation from the sensors located in the synthflesh. It also acts against the coolant and causes the coolant compounds to begin breaking down. This causes a temperature rise as the coolant becomes less efficient. This can result in a flush to the skin as increased temperature alters the color of the synthflesh or in more severe instances a feverish state can occur.

Alcohol consumed in high enough quantities or concentrations can result in system shutdown to protect the higher processor functions from a dangerous temperature rise. Shortly before system shutdown, various sensitive systems can experience malfunctions; including but not limited to, optical and sensory systems, equilibrium and coordination centers, and language systems and speech synthesizers. An emergency system shutdown to avoid system damage results in an unconscious condition. Also, high alcohol consumption can result in an emergency system purge if the concentrations are high enough to cause processor damage, before a system shutdown can occur, from the massive temperature spike that would occur if high enough concentrations of alcohol entered the coolant system in a short period of time. This results in the reploid throwing up whatever substances are in the synthetic digestive system at the time.

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Commander X of the 17th Maverick Hunter Unit sighed as he dropped his head to the palm of his hand. What vengeful deity had he pissed off to deserve this? Did Mavericks have a patron deity? X stifled a groan as a hand slung itself over his shoulders.

"Hey, hey. Ya know what? Have you seen my buddy around here? I'm sure he's here somewhere, I invited him to unwind ya know. Oi! X! X, where are ya?" Zero pulled his arm off of X and twisted away from where he was leaning on him to shout to the room in general.

Jax twisted around on the couch from the movie playing on the wall screen to look back at him. "Oi, he's right next to you!" He shouted back with a grin as he waved his beer can haphazardly around above his head, sloshing the contents out with each swing.

"Damnit! Cut that out! You're gonna ruin my shirt!" Vixen snarled at him, laying her black-tipped, furry ears back against her skull as she shoved him in the shoulder. Jax yelped and lost his balance, falling off the couch and spilling the bowl of popcorn all across the floor before he rolled into the table in front of the couch. The Taj Mahal of beer cans that Wolfe had been carefully building crumbled in a 10-point table-quake on the Richter scale.

Wolfe snarled, baring his teeth as his hackles raised. Snagging the closest object, which happened to be Tag's helmet, he pitched it at Jax as the other reploid unsteadily weaved to his feet. Jax went back down with a yelp as the helmet glanced off of his head, right between the eyes and careened across the room to land in front of Snake where it rolled to a stop beside his feet. Snake tripped over it and went down in a tangle of limbs with a shout.

X groaned and rubbed at his temples in a gesture he'd picked up from humans. "X! There you are man! Hey you gotta meet this guy! He's really cool." Zero cried as he turned back to X and latched onto him. "Hey where'd he go?" Zero glanced blearily around looking for the reploid he had been talking to earlier.

X sighed. "Zero, you're drunk. You're beyond drunk."

"Yeah, ain't it great!" Zero grinned as he ruffled X's black hair before practically falling forward into his lap.

"Ooh shiny!" Snake crowed as he scooped up Tag's empty helmet and buffed it with his forearm before plopping it onto his head with a grin. Snake then staggered up to his feet and stumbled over towards where Tag was lying on the ground beside the pool table. Snake tripped three times on the way there, before he dropped to his knees beside Tag. "Hey, hey, Tag, man. I can't feel my legs! Isn't that wild!" He grinned as he shook the shorter reploid's shoulder vigorously. "Oh hey, I think you dropped this man." Snake reached up and pulled off the helmet. "'Ere. Lemme help ya." He levered the unconscious reploid up to a sitting position and plonked the helmet on backwards. "There ya go!" He grinned as he let Tag go. Tag, being out cold, fell back over with a clunk.

X sighed. "Come on, sit up Zero." X began to lever his friend back to a sitting position on the couch they were taking up space on against the wall.

"Hey, hey." Zero mumbled as he twisted in X's grip to look up at him. "Heeeey. You're beautiful, man." Zero reached up and poked him in the nose. "Didja know that? You my friend..." X looked at him in confused surprise as Zero poked his finger into his chest. "Are one handsome guy." Then Zero pouted and reached up to bonk X on top of the head. "Why the hell haven't you asked Alia out yet! No way she'd say no to that cute face." Zero reached up and pinched his cheek as X turned bright red and swatted his hand away.

"Nuh-uh. We are not discussing this. You are soo wasted." X frowned as he struggled to contain his blush and get Zero out of his lap and back to sitting up. "What self-destructive idiocy got into your personality matrix to make you agree to that bet!"

Zero frowned as X pushed him back against the couch back beside him. "Not idiocy. I won didn't I? I get 500 zenny from Tempo! Right guys!" Zero shouted to the room.

"Yeah!" A ragged cheer rose up as beer cans waved randomly around the room.

"And we're gonna get X to ask Alia out! Right boys!" Zero bellowed as he stood up and raised a fist in victory.

"Yeah!" Another round of cheers and catcalls filled the air.

"Whoohoo! GO X!!" Jax shouted as he jumped onto the table and raised the cheese log from the party platter over his head like a sword while waving around his shirt in his other hand.

"Get down!" Another shout went up as Jax was hailed with popcorn and pretzels.

"Put your shirt back on!" Echo shouted.

"Take it off!" Snake whooped from his perch on the pool table, trying to balance cue balls on each of Dyne's eye sockets. Dyne was oblivious to everything, passed out cold, sprawled over the pool table on his back.

"We can't see the movie!" Todd shouted as he pelted Jax with an empty beer can. Jax stumbled to the edge of the table. There was an ominous crack as the leg splintered and the table gave way, tumbling Jax off and to the ground.

X groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Signas is going to have your synthflesh for a wall hanging, Zero. That's the fourth piece of furniture this month."

"Don't you worry that spiffy little processor of yours, X, my man." Zero grinned as he slung his arm around X's shoulders again. "You'll be taking Alia out on the town in no time! Me and the guys'll take good care of you."

"That's what I'm afraid of." X moaned as he shook his head. Zero just grinned and gave him a one-armed hug, ruffling his hair again. X shrugged him off, ducking under the ruffling hand.

"Oi! Is there any beer left?" Zero shouted out as he stumbled to his feet and staggered away from the couch toward the cooler under the pool table.

"No. Zero, you've had enough. More than enough. I'm amazed you're still conscious." X scrambled to catch Zero, before he could hit the ground, as he pitched over sideways.

"Bah! A little something like that won't knock the Great Zero out!" Zero growled as he struggled to stand up straight.

"A little something! Zero, you drank an entire tub full of vodka! I'm amazed you could even fit that much inside your systems! You must be fluid-logged! I'm surprised you don't slosh when you move!" X cried as he struggled to keep his grip on the squirming Zero. Abruptly, Zero stilled. X blinked. "Zero?"

"Guuh. I don't feel so good..." Zero moaned as he sagged in X's grip, face down to the floor, his long blond hair obscuring his face from view. "Prolly shouldn'ta had that chili dog..." Zero groaned as X struggled to hold him up.

"Zero? Come on, hold it together." X grunted in concern as he struggled to pull Zero up from his position, bent double over X's arms.

"Guuuunh." Zero moaned before he convulsed in X's grip and proceeded to empty his stomach.

"Gah! Damnit Zero!" X yelped as he tried to avoid the splash of mainly partially broken down vodka and other alcoholic beverages. His only response was a groaning hack from the limp bundle of Zero in his arms. X twisted, shifting Zero to one arm and reached around with his free right hand to gather Zero's long blond ponytail up in his hand and pull it back and away from his face and the growing mess.

X sighed as Zero's heaves finally broke off and he went limp again. "Maybe next time you'll listen to me when I tell you agreeing to Tempo's bets is a bad idea. Dyne and Tag already figured that out before you agreed. And they're going to need their stomachs pumped before they'll come back online." Zero just gave a quiet grunt that stretched into a moan.

From across the room Jax's voice whooped, "Go Zero!"

The answering multi-voiced shout of, "Get down!" drowned out anything else Jax might've said.

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The End

Owari

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Please review. Tell me how I'm doing on characterization. I'm working on getting how I want X, Zero, and Axl's personalities down.

Tell me how you liked it. Gush if you want. I love gushing reviews, they make me go 'Squee!' and then I huggle the review.

I felt that Zero needed to share in the experience of X and Axl from chapter 1. However, disturbingly, I've noticed that out of four chapters I've worked out, three of them involve throwing up of some type. That was not at all intended when I set out on this strange, strange journey, and just ended up happening. My apologies. I'll try to come up with more chapters that vary in events more so. However, the reasons for the poor guys losing their lunches are different each time, so I suppose it's not that bad.

Anyway, push the button and tell me what you think!