Chapter Nine

Masquerade

By Aulizia and kirixchi

Narcissa passed the rest of the week with equal dissatisfaction. Although Lucius appeared at breakfast, he confined his remarks to the weather and occasionally to sport. He spent his days in London, and returned long after dinner was served. Once or twice she engaged him in conversation before they went to bed, but never on a matter of substance. He wasn't angry, and she supposed that ought to be a relief, but it seemed almost worse that he seemed to regard her as a little girl who had never grown up.

Happily, Narcissa had the weekend to look forward to. Bellatrix and her husband, Rodolphus Lestrange, were down from Scotland for the week and, finding Narcissa no longer in residence at Ravensden, had arranged to pay a call. Lucius couldn't avoid the visit. In spite of missing his wedding, Lucius had always been one of Rodolphus's closest friends, and he wouldn't dare to snub him twice.

The Lestranges arrived early Saturday afternoon. Mr and Mrs Malfoy were waiting in the drawing room to greet them, but the instant that Narcissa saw Bellatrix and Rodolphus together she wondered if the visit had been a mistake. There was such an ease… an informality… between the other couple that Narcissa feared it would too painfully and too obviously reveal the sham of her own marriage.

Marriage, the word taunted her cruelly as Lucius and Rodolphus began to discuss business. She wasn't married, not in any true sense of the word.

"Cissa," Bellatrix said loudly only a little while after they arrived, "If our husbands insist on being complete bores, discussing stocks and shares, will you take me on a tour of your house? I've always wanted to see the private rooms."

Before Narcissa could answer Rodolphus spoke. "Don't take her," he begged, flashing his sister-in-law a smile. "She just wants to compare this place with Shadowbarrow to see who caught the better man."

Bellatrix pouted prettily, but indulged her husband to a coy smile. Narcissa, on the other hand, didn't dare look at Lucius as she was tugged out of the room. She did wonder if his mind was working along similar lines to Rodolphus's though… except of course Lucius would be considering which of them had married the better sister. She knew there was only one answer to that quandary.

"I must say, I was a little surprised that you and Lucius were so keen to have us come and visit," Bellatrix remarked as soon as they were alone, deciding for herself which passage she wanted to explore first.

"Oh, why's that?" Narcissa asked, sensing instinctively that she wouldn't like the answer.

Bellatrix raised a suggestive eyebrow at her little sister. "You and Lucius have been living under the same roof for all of a week." She giggled, and to Narcissa's amazement actually blushed. "I know I wouldn't have wanted anyone interrupting my first week at Shadowbarrow with Rodolphus."

Narcissa stared fixedly at the floor, praying for something witty and clever and distracting to say to change the topic, however, Bellatrix managed the latter all on her own.

"Although, I suppose it's not quite the same, Lucius only asked us to stay because he doesn't want you left alone tonight," she scowled angrily. "I still don't see why they won't let me go along."

"Go along where?" Narcissa asked, looking utterly perplexed by everything her sister had just said.

"Oh!" Bellatrix exclaimed. She almost clapped a hand over her mouth. "I thought- I assumed Lucius-" she stopped abruptly. "Never mind, forget I said anything," she rushed on quickly. "We'll have a lovely girl's night in, and you can tell me everything there is to know about your dear husband!"

Narcissa doubted very much that it would take all night. In fact, it was highly unlikely that she could fill a quarter hour with information that her sister did not already know. After all, Bellatrix knew Lucius from school, and through his association with her husband. Narcissa barely knew him at all.

"Why so glum, Cissa?" Bellatrix asked shrewdly, frowning at her sister's pallor and downcast eyes.

"I'm just…tired." Narcissa answered slowly. It was partially true. In spite of her comfortable mattress and beautiful room, she hadn't been sleeping well at nights. She was too keenly aware of Lucius sleeping beside her in the other room. He was so close, and yet he might have been a million miles away.

"You look tired," Bellatrix agreed.

"I haven't been feeling well either." Narcissa embellished, keen to have her sister accept this explanation- perhaps inferring that a touch of homesickness had settled in. This plan backfired, however.

"Gracious, Cissa- he hasn't got you pregnant yet, surely?" Bellatrix gasped.

"No!" Narcissa yelped and shook her head. "That would be impossible!" She blurted, and then wished that she hadn't. Any one of her empty headed friends would have entirely overlooked the remark, but her older sister did not.

"I wouldn't say impossible…" Bellatrix contradicted slowly.

At last, the weight of her secret was too much to bear. "Yes," Narcissa squeaked quietly. "Impossible."

She waited for a moment until the words sank in, and then lifted her eyes to Bellatrix's astonished face. "But…" Bellatrix stuttered, her mouth working although words were reluctant to come out. "But…he seemed so pleased!"

"He did?" Narcissa's interest perked.

"Yes…" Bellatrix answered dismissively. "Rodolphus teased him about it. Cissa, it isn't possible that you haven't-"

"We tried!" Narcissa interjected, well aware that she was only digging a deeper hole.

"Tried?" Bellatrix smirked.

Narcissa took a deep breath. Then, the whole embarrassing affair came tumbling out.

"You took sex advice from mum?" Bellatrix asked when she was through.

If possible, Narcissa's blush deepened. "Bellatrix, that's hardly the point!"

The elder sister laughed. "Silly goose. It doesn't hurt- at least after the first time and that's only for a second…you were actually afraid?"

Narcissa nodded dolefully, annoyed that her sister could find humour in the wretched situation. "He's avoided me all week. He won't even be in the same room with me."

"He's trying not to tempt himself," Bella said, the authority in her voice reassuring her sister.

"Do you really think so?" Narcissa asked.

"Of course," Bellatrix took her little sister's hand and squeezed it. "A little encouragement is all he needs."

"But I don't know how to encourage him," Narcissa sighed mournfully. "I can't even tempt him into conversation let alone-" she ground to an embarrassed halt, unsure as to when that had become her goal.

"Bed?" Bellatrix supplied with a wicked grin. "I never thought I'd say it, but poor Lucius. You must be killing him," she laughed again, causing Narcissa to scowl at her, but Bellatrix was enjoying herself far too much to stop. "He's had you held up in this house all week, all to himself, and he's afraid to touch in case you cast a shrinkage hex on his-"

"Bellatrix!" Narcissa gasped.

Her sister smirked. "I'm sorry," she said, not looking sorry at all. "But at least you've taken his over inflated ego down a notch or two, which can't be a bad thing. Honestly, Cissa," she laughed, "you must be the only woman in England to have ever kicked Lucius Malfoy out of your bed!"

"Do you think I don't know that?" Narcissa wailed, her bottom lip trembling. "If you and Rodolphus think Lucius seems happy then it must be because he's off enjoying himself with someone else."

Bellatrix's face turned serious. "Cissa, I didn't mean-"

"Of course he is," Narcissa interrupted firmly, warming to her topic. "He never wanted to be lumbered with me in the first place!"

He had wanted to be married to Andromeda. At the very least, he had expected to be married to Andromeda. Thinking about her eldest sister sent a pang of anger and regret searing through Narcissa's heart, and just a little twinge of… jealousy?

"He told you that?" Bellatrix asked frowning. Narcissa was forced to shake her head. "No, I thought not," Bellatrix continued brightly, "in which case, let's see if we can't set things right for you." Narcissa raised a wary eyebrow. "I'm going to spend tonight teaching you exactly the encouraging techniques you're going to need to have your husband eating out of the palm of your hand."

"Bella, I'm not sure-"

"Unless you'd rather simply walk up to Lucius and tell him that you've had some sense talked into and you've changed your mind – you would rather like him to shag you senseless now?"

"Bellatrix!" Narcissa exclaimed, looking shocked and just a little bit curious. "You can't say that," she fought down a smile.

"I just did," Bellatrix smiled wickedly. "Now, was that the dinner bell?" she asked, listening to the echo of a delicate tinkle that had just filled the corridor. Narcissa answered with a nod. "Excellent, I'm famished, and you, my sweet little sister, are going to need your strength."

..ooOOoo..

Narcissa wasn't sure how she had let her sister talk her into this.

In spite of her sister's pronouncement that Lucius was "going to swallow his tongue" she was certain that she looked ridiculous. The short silver slip and tiny knickers that Bellatrix had pulled out of the bottom drawer had looked more substantial before putting them on. Now that she had, they barely covered her ample curves. To Narcissa's mind, her hair and makeup (purposefully tousled locks and dark, smoky eye shadow) only made things worse, though Bellatrix did not agree.

"Trust me," her older sister had soothed. "You won't regret it."

Perhaps she would have felt less agitated if she were in the familiar confines of her own room. Even after a mere week, she had developed a certain comfort level there. At her sister's goading, however, she had consented to a further part of the plan- she had sneaked into Lucius's bed so that she would be waiting for him as soon as he returned home.

If he returned home, Narcissa thought as she rolled onto her side and stared at the little alarm clock again.

A crawling sensation of dread moved along her spine, causing her to shiver in spite of the quilted blankets. She didn't know where Lucius and Rodolphus were, but Bellatrix had given her enough information to make a calculated guess. It had to do with the cause- she was sure of it, and the forced gaiety that her sister had insisted upon all evening had only made her worry more.

Narcissa didn't ever think that she would forget the hideous shock of seeing her father in bloody robes, or the hollow, aching pain that she had felt when Regulus died. Her cousin had only been a little boy- a little boy who had made a mistake- but he had found no mercy. What if something happened to Lucius? It was torture living in the same house with him while he lingered beyond her reach. How much worse would it be if he were actually dead?

Of course, if he died, Narcissa's life would be her own again… The treacherous little thought refused to completely go away. She would be single again, young, beautiful, rich…it seemed like all she had ever wanted- so why did it terrify her so? Narcissa was confused by her feelings. She couldn't understand why she wanted Lucius so badly- he was the only thing in the world she couldn't have.

Perhaps that was it, Narcissa thought glumly. Two years as a Malfoy- even if in name only- had made her accustomed to indulgence of whims. Wasn't it natural to crave what you could not obtain?

She worried that it was more than that- but wasn't ready to face that question yet. First she would share his body. Then, perhaps, she would wonder about reaching his heart.

Narcissa sighed at herself for even considering the preposterous proposition, and tried to focus instead on what she was going to do. Her skin grew warm as she imagined Lucius's hands on her body again, his lips on her breasts, his weight settling on to her…she snuggled guiltily into the blankets revelling in the treat of being surrounded by his scent. It would be so easy to lose herself in daydreams- to actually fall asleep.

Just as she was drifting off, however, she heard shuffling footsteps approach the door. Her initial instinct was to dive out from under the covers and make a dash for her own room, however something, very possibly fear, kept her rooted to the spot.

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was a Black by birth – Blacks were strong, they did what was necessary, and they certainly did not panic!

Narcissa propped herself up in her elbows, striking the sultry pose that Bellatrix had spent over an hour helping her to perfect. She waited in the dark, her heart racing, for the handle to turn and the door to open revealing her husband.

The handle did turn, and the door did open, but her husband was not revealed.

The candles in the passage must have been extinguished, because Narcissa couldn't even make out his profile through the shadows. She waited, heart still pounding, expecting at any moment for him to cast a light and discover her, but she heard only the shuffle of feet and then felt the bed give as Lucius crawled into bed beside her.

Narcissa felt her nerves give way a little, replaced by an instinctive worry. Surely Lucius didn't usually sleep fully dressed? Something had to be wrong. Seizing her courage she edged her way closer to his body, reaching out a hand touch him gently as he spoke his name.

Lucius jolted in surprise, leaping away from Narcissa with such speed that he twisted off the bed and hit the floor with a crash that was followed by a low moan of pain. Narcissa quickly crawled over the mattress, clicking her fingers at the bedside lamps before peering down at her husband, and unwittingly privileging him to a very generous view of her deep cleavage.

"Lucius?" she whispered hesitantly. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"What am I-" he growled incredulously, but stopped himself. "What are you doing in my-" this sentence broke off when a spasm of pain crossed his face.

"Lucius?" Narcissa gasped, slipping off the bed and kneeling by his side. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he groaned, using the bed to push himself to his feet. Narcissa followed when he swayed and stumbled backwards, seemingly unable to support his own weight. Without volition her arms locked themselves around his waist, not that she could possibly support his full weight if he fell, but she knew she had to try.

She was surprised when he accepted her support, leaning on her heavily as he eased himself down onto the edge of the bed gingerly. She was once again in Lucius arms, and once again her heart was racing in fear, except this time her fear was for Lucius and not herself... because, as she held onto him tight, Narcissa could feel the sticky warmth of blood coating her fingers.

"You're hurt," she gasped, terror seeping into her veins as her mouth ran dry. She waited, hoping desperately for him to deny it, but no contradiction came. "Lucius!" she sobbed, as he slumped back against the pillows.

"It's nothing," he sighed heavily, eyes falling shut. "Go back to bed. I'll be all right."

"No," Narcissa whispered firmly. "I won't leave you."

The silver fabric of her tiny lingerie was stained scarlet now, but she paid it no notice, vastly more concerned about her husband.

She didn't bother to quiz Lucius on what had gone wrong. The details seemed immaterial until she had gauged the scope of the damage. Dismissing Lucius's feeble protest, she settled him back on the bed, and then set about removing his clothes.

Narcissa hadn't brought her wand into his room, and she didn't want to risk actually peeling the fabric off of his body, so she reached for Lucius's instead.

"No!" He gasped hoarsely, starting to sit up until his efforts were halted by the pain.

Narcissa blinked, but did as she was told.

"The…other one…" he murmured, his eyes drifting dangerously.

"Other one?" Narcissa's voice held an edge of panic, but she forced herself to remain calm as she tried to figure out what her husband meant. Rooting around in his robes, she found a second wand- the one that she was used to his using at home.

When Lucius nodded, she used the little length of ebony to relieve him of his shirt and trousers. The unfamiliar wand felt clumsy in her hands, but did the trick. Soon she was able to see the slash of crimson running crossways along his chest. After a momentary fright, she was relieved to determine that it wasn't deep and seemed to be closing.

She cleaned it gently with a conjured cloth, and then frowned again. It hardly seemed enough to cause such excrutiating pain.

"Stunners," Lucius whispered his eyes falling shut even as he seemed to read her mind.

Narcissa nodded, and then jogged his shoulder to keep him awake. If he really had been hit by a blast, it wasn't safe for him to go to sleep until he had received medical attention. "I'll call a doctor," she started to say, but he stopped her.

"Cissa, don't."

"Don't? But…" She frowned with confusion. She suspected that her husband had been involved in unsavoury activities- but she also knew that there were plenty of mediwizards who could be paid for their discretion. "I'll just call-" She started, the name of her father's personal physician on the tip of her tongue, but she never got to speak it, because there was a pounding on the front door. Magically amplified, it echoed through the entire house.

For a moment, she was stunned, but then she reached for her dressing gown.

"Your gown," he reminded her to scourgify the blood off of her clothes before she went into the hall.

Blood was pounding in Narcissa's ears as she hurried into the hall. Bellatrix was already standing on the top step. From her older sister's own bedraggled appearance she deduced that Rodolphus had returned in a similar state. Mrs. Lestrange's eyes were wild and indecisive.

"Go back to your room," Narcissa said firmly. There was really no reason for whomever was calling- and she felt certainly that their appearance so soon after her husband was not coincidence- to even know that her sister and her husband were there. Feigning a poise she didn't feel, she headed for the door. "Open it," she said to the elf. He did so, and she lifted her chin to meet whatever was on the other side.

"Miss Black?" She recognized one of the men. He was a young Auror who she vaguely remembered as being a few years ahead of her at school.

"Mrs. Malfoy," she corrected sharply.

He blinked, and then stiffened. "I'm sure you know why we're here."

Narcissa's heart began to pound again. She was too staunchly a Slytherin not to recognize a trap: she could either confess that yes, she did know, or to feign ignorance and implicate herself into Lucius's scheme.

She decided to create a third option: to attempt a bluff instead.

Narcissa sighed heavily. "What has my father-in-law done now?"

"Your…?" the younger auror looked at the man who had accompanied him: a wild-haired, grizzled looking wizard with a chunk of flesh missing from his nose.

"My father-in-law," she sighed heavily. "It's all right, I'll go and fetch him. I just need to change. It might take me a minute. I don't want to wake my husband. He gets in such a state whenever his father…"

"Your husband is here?" the younger wizard said in disbelief.

"Of course," she answered, still avoiding a lie. "He's upstairs in bed where I left him…and I'd like to keep it that way if…"

"Mrs. Malfoy," the second wizard stepped forward, assuming control of the interview. "Your husband was seen in London this evening in the company of Rodolphus Lestrange and other known Death Eaters who…"

"You are calling my brother-in-law a known Death Eater?" she barked as ferociously as she could manage. The aggressive approach seemed to be working. The older man was eyeing her suspiciously. "Mrs. Malfoy, I'm saying…"

"Are you coming back to bed, dearest?"

Narcissa closed her eyes, barely able to contain the evidence of her relief as she felt her husband's presence behind her. She didn't have any idea how he had managed it, but she wasn't about to complain. Quickly, before the Auror's thought to separate them, she turned.

"Darling, its some Auror's. I think that your father's gotten in trouble again, only they won't say what he's-"

"We are NOT here about his father," the older Auror growled, growing frustrated. "Lucius Malfoy you were just seen in London committing acts which-"

"How could I be in London if I'm here now?" Lucius drawled, sounding completely unconcerned. He slid an arm around Narcissa's waist in an intimate gesture, though she was frightened by how much of his weight he shifted onto her back.

"A simple Apparation can-" the younger Auror started, but his partner cut him off.

"I'll need to see your wand," he said sternly.

Lucius arched an eyebrow, but complied, surrendering the strip of ebony that his wife had used to clean his wound.

The auror used a tape measure to judge the length of the wood. "Ebony, 11 ½ inches" he read off. The tape measure sputtered a little bit, and then spit out a piece of paper. Straining her eyes, Narcissa read:

"Ebony, 11 ½ inches. Dragon Heartstring, Registered Owner: Lucius Malfoy, Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire. Purchased 1968, Olivander's Wand Shop, Diagon Alley."

The wizard frowned, but continued to inspect the wand. "Prior incantatem!" He cast, and there was a little puff of silver smoke. A scarlet stain appeared on the floor and then vanished as if it had been hit by a spell.

"My wineglass," Lucius lied smoothly. Narcissa nodded, hoping that the Aurors would believe that it hadn't been the blood she'd mopped off of her gown.

"Prior Incantateum!" the wizard said again. This time, a pile of clothes appeared on the floor. A third effort zapped one of the elves. The wizard continued to cast the spell until the air was finally split by the CRACK! of Apparation.

"Aha!" the Auror said. "I knew it! How will you explain that Malfoy?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I came home from work this evening. I have an office in London- perhaps you've heard of it. Now, if there's nothing else…"

Frustrated and embarrassed, the other wizard had no choice but to return the wand. "Good day, Mrs. Malfoy," he snarled, but did not bother offering this pleasantry to her husband.

Lucius remained where he was as Narcissa nodded for the elves to see them out. They waited for the CRACK of Apparation to fade, and then Narcissa turned around. "Oh, Lucius, I-"

He stumbled, and she was barely quick enough to catch him before he hit the floor. "Dobby!" she called for one of the elves. "Help me! Let's put him in the drawing room!"

Shaking, the creature did as it was told, and then Narcissa shooed him away.

"How did you…?" she began, but then she noticed the little flask of vitalis energy potion in Lucius's pocket. "That was so foolish," she began to scold, but she was actually more relieved than anything else. "You should have let me take care of everything," she murmured, trying to make him as comfortable as she could manage on the sofa, before dropping to her knees beside him.

"You shouldn't have had to, but-" Lucius forced his eyes to open a fraction. Narcissa watched; the effort it cost him seemed terribly disproportional to the tiny little movement. "But thank you," he rasped, holding her gaze for as long as he could manage, his eyes burning with an intensity that was only partially driven by pain.

Narcissa could feel a blush sweep over her cheeks. She wouldn't say that she had enjoyed the experience, but thwarting the Aurors had been strangely exciting in a way. She chewed her lips nervously, or it would have been exciting, if only Lucius weren't so badly hurt.

"I really think you need a mediwizard," she said softly, taking one of her husband's hands in her own. His skin was alarmingly cold, but he shook his head as much as he could bear.

"It'll pass," he promised, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze as he spoke.

He said that as if he knew from previous experience, Narcissa thought nervously. Had he come home like this before? She fretted, unconsciously stroking some warmth back into his hands. And what was he involved in exactly that was so very dangerous? For the first time Narcissa wished that she had taken a more active interest in the shifting politics of the time, instead of trying naively to pretend that the world was not changing.

"Lucius, why were you in London tonight?" she asked quietly.

"It's better if you don't know," he said quickly.

"Lucius!" Narcissa exclaimed indignantly. "You can tell me, you can trust me, didn't I prove that tonight?" she raised her eyes to his imploringly. Hadn't she finally done something to please him? She didn't want to be treated like a little girl anymore!

"It's not a matter of trusting you," Lucius groaned as he tried to sit up.

Narcissa hurried to help him once he became clear that he was determined to get up and take himself upstairs to the more comfortable quarters of his room. "Well then what-" she began, trying to ignore the curious quickening she felt in the pit of her stomach as her hands slid over the hard muscles of her husband's body.

"It's a matter of protecting you," he sighed, once again accepting her support as he attempted to stand.

Narcissa frowned, unsure if she should be offended by that remark or not. He tried to make for the door, not leaning quite so heavily on her as he had done earlier in front of the Aurors… despite her irritation, Narcissa felt her body flush with heat when she remembered the intimacy of his arm draped possessively around her waist. His hold on her now was almost paternal, she realised disappointedly.

"Bella knows," she pointedly out churlishly, trying to shake off the way her body wanted to curl into his touch.

"Bellatrix is… different," Lucius sighed wearily.

No, she was nothing like her sisters. Lucius's comment cut Narcissa to the quick. There was perhaps nothing he could have said to silence her more effectively than this reminder of what she was not and could never be. Of course Rodolphus trusted Bellatrix. He'd always trusted her. He loved her and they shared an intimacy that did not admit to any secrets. Whereas Narcissa was…What? She asked herself. A pretty ornament for parties? A mistress for his house? A vessel for his child- no, not even that!

Narcissa drew the white silk of her dressing gown more tightly around her shoulders, grateful that Lucius hadn't seen, or hadn't noticed her attire. Her hopes of enticing him would have to wait for another night.

"Shall I stay with you?" she asked, lingering in the doorway of his room. She didn't think that he should be left alone, but she could have predicted his answer.

"No," he answered firmly. "I'd keep you awake. Everything will be fine in the morning."

Rebuffed, Narcissa did as she was told. She drifted one door down the hallway to the endless snowy white of her room. Obediently she crawled into her bed and closed her eyes- but she knew better than to hope that she could sleep.

..ooOOoo..

Narcissa was waiting for spring.

Although the calendar on her wall read "June", a terrible coldness had settled on her life. She was reminded of the first time she had ever met her husband- how cool and aloof he had seemed then. Now that sensation had spread, so that everything he touched was covered with frost. Even the beautiful things in her room ceased to please her. She wanted Lucius- but he kept pushing her away!

It was a week after her sister's visit when Narcissa finally gathered the courage to try again. She dressed and groomed herself to perfection, and then slipped into her husband's chamber. This time, he was not detained by danger. Like clockwork, just as the clock chimed twelve, her husband slipped into his room.

Lucius was so settled in his routine that he didn't notice his wife. She watched unobserved as he went through the motions of preparing for bed, kicking off his shoes, and then striding to the bathroom. She heard water running and the patter of steps. When he returned, he was clad only in a pair of loose silk pants.

Narcissa's pulse had been racing since the moment he stepped through the door. Fear and worry was surging through her veins. As she watched him, however, a new kind of excitement took precedence. She squirmed on the bed as an ache settled inside of her womb.

He was almost too beautiful.

Narcissa couldn't fathom that she had once discounted his physical appeal. Watching him move about the room- putting away his robes and loosing the leather thong in his hair- ignited a craving she could not suppress. She wanted him. She wanted him to kiss her, to touch her, to take her in ways that she didn't yet fully understand. She wanted to be completed, and she was beginning to understand at last that only

Lucius could fulfil that request.

"Lucius?" she finally spoke as he settled down at his desk, looking as if he was going to answer a letter before coming to bed. His response was instant- and disappointing.

"Narcissa!" he said, jumping instantly to his feet. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" she had anticipated this question. She had rehearsed what she was going to say but now, at the moment of truth, she had forgotten. She could only mumble dumbly, "…thought I would say goodnight," and offer her husband a shy and hopeful smile.

"You shouldn't be here," he said, dashing her hopes.

"I want to be here." There was the faintest whine in her voice. She couldn't help it. She didn't understand.

"You don't have to be."

"Lucius," she abandoned her attempt to strike a sultry pose, sitting back on her knees and scooting toward him. She tried to catch his eyes, but he turned away. "I want to talk to you. I want to…to…hear about your day at work!" she blurted at last, knowing that it sounded ridiculous, but hopelessly out of her depth.

Lucius lifted a hand to his temple and rubbed as if he had a headache. "Go, Narcissa," he said wearily.

"But…"

"Go!"

..ooOOoo..

Lucius waited until he heard the door to his wife's room close before he allowed himself to turn around. He hoped that she hadn't seen the effect that only a few moments in her presence had on his body. Every inch of his skin seemed charged and tense- and she probably hadn't even been aware of what she was doing.

What on earth was she wearing?

Lucius remembered, vaguely, that he had sent round to the best shops in Diagon Alley, giving the shopkeepers a carte blanche to provide his wife's trousseau (he might have let Mrs. Black select them. However, as he would be paying for the garments regardless, it made sense to omit the middle step). He hadn't let her go home for her own things, and she hadn't been shopping to his knowledge. She must have found them in one of her drawers- tiny, seductive little nightclothes- the poor girl probably had nothing else to wear!

He cringed again when he considered what she must think- especially coupled with his behaviour on the night of her first arrival. Narcissa had been so sweet and tender- and he repaid her by acting like the worst sort of letch.

In spite of his self-disgust, Lucius also felt disappointed. For one, breathless moment he thought that she truly wanted to be in his bed. The way that she had been laying when he first turned around: her head propped on one arm, her gorgeous legs unfurled, her body twisted to display an exquisite cleavage- she looked just like he had imagined her there. She looked like she did so often in his dreams: hot and inviting.

That's all it is. A dream.

Lucius's headache returned with full force as he faced the truth. He had been waiting nearly a solid month for some sign from his wife that there was hope to make things right. Night after night there was nothing- nothing but the same, sweet tenderness she had offered him years before. Tonight, he thought that was going to change. He thought that she was finally reaching out…and she had wanted to talk about his work! It was truly disgusting how quickly he had misread her motives, too blinded by lust to see the truth.

He couldn't live like this any longer. It was the most wretched torture to have her dangling before his eyes when she was the one thing that he could never have. Were they doomed to be like this forever? He had tried everything he could think of to make her happy. Perhaps he really should send her home. She would have to return someday. He did require an heir, but fertility charms were available. They were uncomfortable, and expensive, and embarrassing- but then she would only have to endure him once. She could go on living the life she wanted- the life that she could have had if not for her sacrifice in becoming his wife.

Lucius wished that he could control his imagination. Automatically, it flared to life, tormenting him with pictures of what Narcissa's "other life" might be. Perhaps she would have gone to University in London and shared a flat with her friends…she would have had a debut- she probably would have been the debutante queen, surrounded by admirers and suitors.

The last image gave Lucius a particular pang. Was that the reason for Narcissa's discontent? Had she left a lover back at Hogwarts? Jealousy burned through his veins like acid. He didn't want to believe that it was possible- but she was only just out of school. She barely knew Lucius- and the bonds that bound them were the bonds of paper and not of heart.

It had to end soon. He simply couldn't bear much more.

..ooOOoo..

Narcissa couldn't bring herself to go down to breakfast the next day. She only summoned the courage to leave her room when she knew that Lucius had left the house. Even then, she didn't linger downstairs for long. She returned to her chamber to hide soon after midday, asking the elves to serve her dinner in her room- not that Narcissa expected her husband to return and dine at home with her that evening. His abhorrence of her company had been made perfectly clear to her after all - but she was still unwilling to take the risk of seeing him.

She hadn't thought it could be possible to feel any worse than she had done on her very first night at the Manor, but she had been wrong. Narcissa was completely consumed by her humiliation! Her mother, Bella, her own naïve intuition - they had all been wrong… Lucius didn't want her, he didn't lust after her - she must positively revolt him!

Narcissa held back a choking sob. She was sat curled on a chair in her room, an unread book in her hands, wallowing in her own utter worthlessness. Everything was a hopeless mess, but she didn't have a clue how she was meant to fix things! Not if she couldn't even talk to Lucius. Besides, she wasn't sure if things could be fixed, Narcissa thought glumly. It wasn't as if she and Lucius had a relationship to build on and patch up, they were virtual strangers really… except… when he was close, or sometimes… even if she just thought about him, she felt… something… there was something there. Narcissa frowned down at her lap, if only she could work out what it was and what she was meant to do about it.

A soft knock on her bedroom door interrupted her musings. She stared uncertainly at the painted wood for a full minute. That couldn't be Lucius, and yet who else would it be?

The knock was repeated, a little louder this time.

"Come-come in?" Narcissa called hesitantly. She rose to her feet as the door that led from her room out onto to the passage swung open. Lucius stood in the doorway, looking rather weary.

"You weren't at dinner," he sighed, as if to explain his intrusion.

"I had the elves send something up here. I didn't think you would come home," she mumbled staring fixedly at his shoulder, so she missed the flicker of surprise that crossed his face.

"You missed breakfast too."

"I overslept," Narcissa lied, baffled as to why he was standing in her room informing her that she had missed two meals that day.

Frankly, she was surprised he had noticed, but even more surprised that he seemed to care. It made her heart ache. He really did see her as a little girl who needed to be looked after.

"I've been thinking," he said slowly, speaking as if he was reluctant to do so, "about our… arrangement here."

"Oh?" Narcissa breathed, taking an unconscious step towards her husband even though she didn't want to hear what he had to say. Her stomach turned over nauseously.

"I never meant to inflict all of this on you so soon, Narcissa," Lucius sighed heavily, indicating at their general surrounds with an absent wave of his hand. "I suppose I got… carried away, impatient perhaps." Narcissa watched, her mouth dry, as Lucius took a deep breath. "So if you want to go home I won't stop you," he sounded like he was forcing the words out through gritted teeth.

"Go… home?" she breathed softly, her brow furrowing in a frown.

Lucius gave a stilted nod. "You could stay with your parents until-"

"But I don't want to go back to Ravensden!" Narcissa cried passionately, before she had given any conscious thought to what she was saying.

"You… don't?" Lucius stammered blankly, as if he couldn't comprehend what he was hearing. "But I thought-"

"Oh!" Narcissa gasped suddenly, her face crumpled. "Unless you want me to go? I'm in your way? You don't want me-"

"No!" Lucius growled, catching her hold tightly and dragging her against his chest.

For one glorious moment Narcissa thought he was actually going to kiss her, but just as the surprise of finding herself in his arms was giving way to delight Lucius took a frantic step back and pushed her away.

"I'm sorry," he rasped, closing his eyes and dragging a hand roughly through his hair. "I shouldn't have done that. Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you, but I-" Narcissa trailed off as something new occurred to her.

Could it be possible that Lucius still thought she was afraid of him, that he hadn't realised how very badly she wanted their marriage to be real? Was Lucius still, as Bellatrix had believed, trying to keep her at a distance because he didn't trust himself to get close to her? Narcissa cast her mind back to the previous night. Maybe she hadn't made it clear why she was in his room? She had assumed it would be obvious… but then… she had said something ridiculous about wanting to know about his day… perhaps he had taken her literally?

A tiny bubble of hope filled her heart, but could she let herself believe in it? She might still be wrong. Lucius really might find her repulsive? She risked a step towards him and decided to throw caution to the wind, or at least, she made a tentative attempt to do so.

"Please, please don't send me away again," Narcissa whispered, gazing up at Lucius with wide eyes, a little encouraged by the way he seemed fleetingly dazed and speechless.

"You-you don't mind staying here with me?" he stammered difficulty.

Narcissa had never seen him so uncertain. She gave her head a fierce shake. "I want to stay here with you, Lucius," she whispered.

His eyes flickered shut. "Good," he breathed, as if he had never felt such relief.

Lucius bent low, brushing his lips lightly against her forehead, still so restrained and reserved, but pulling back he almost smiled, Narcissa was sure of it, which had to mean that her theory was correct – he was certain that she would reject him if he tried to touch her.

How was she going to convince him otherwise? Narcissa worried suddenly.

Bellatrix's tips hadn't worked, if anything they had only made matters worse! She needed to think of something new, something foolproof, but at least she was convinced she knew the problem now. The bubble of hope in Narcissa's chest expanded a little. It didn't have anything to do with Lucius not wanting her, if anything it was to do with him wanting her too much!

A/N: Thank you for your patience over the holidays. Thank you also for your comments. We hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year.