If I owned Harry Potter, I'd be writing the sixth book, not procrastinating doing my math homework.....well, actually, this being me, I'd probably be procrastinating writing the sixth book. So be happy that I don't own HP.
Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers; I really don't love y'all enough. Please, if you're reading this, take the time to send me a teeny tiny review letting me know what you think, good or bad. If you like it, tell people. Please. For me. Because it's true, I really do update faster when I've got more reviewers.
Last chapter, James and the marauders decided on the perfect prank...James was going to pretend to be in love with Lily. That was sure to annoy the heck out of her...But does he have the guts to actually keep up the charade? And how goes the first day of classes...?
Chapter 9: The Legendary Potter Charm:
The next morning dawned bright and clear. Lily woke early, something she only ever did on the first day of a new school year. Somehow, there was just something magical about all the new beginnings and budding opportunities of starting new classes.
Lily hummed a song in the shower, making it up as she went along. She practically skipped back into the dormitory, changing into her plain black robes as if they were made of gold. She tied her hair back in a French braid, noting contentedly that, for once, not a hair was out of place. Lily was sure that nothing could dampen her mood, that nothing could ruin her day.
The other girls in the dormitory didn't quite agree. Kelsey was feeling ill; apparently she'd spent the whole of Sunday in her bed with a headache (A/N: No, this is not a typo. Honestly, you've read the first 8 chapters. You should know that James doesn't pay much attention to his girlfriends. He was wrong when he said Kelsey had a stomachache...). By the look of things, she'd rather spend today in bed as well.
The others looked much the same. They, of course, didn't have the excuse of being sick, but they clearly preferred their beds nonetheless.
"Lily," Alanna grumbled. "Why do you have to be so happy this morning? We are about to start one of the hardest years. We should be swamped by homework by our second class. For the next few months we will have no free time whatsoever. I see no reason to be happy."
Lily felt a smile suffuse itself onto her face. She didn't argue, after all, Alanna was only stating the facts. But nothing was going to bring her down this morning.
Sara and Alanna exchanged glances; if Lily was going to act like this all day, they might very well have to smack some sense back into her.
"Lils," Sara moaned. "Alanna's right."
"I know," Lily said in a most agreeable fashion.
"And even besides all the homework, we've got problems."
"Of course we do." Lily refused to rise to the bait.
"I mean, think of Potter and his gang. They've got something up their sleeves; they always do, first day of school. And it looks like they're focusing on us this year around."
Lily smirked, an expression she didn't usually wear. But today was special, after all. "Who says they have to be the only ones with something up their sleeves? If Potter or any of his cronies come anywhere near me, I guarantee they'll find a little something more than they bargained for."
Alanna and Sara shared another look; this was getting ridiculous. They both opened their mouths to say something, but Lily ignored them. She picked up her bag, and skipped out of the dormitory, and down the stairs. Alanna and Sara rolled their eyes, then turned to follow.
Down at breakfast, Lily continued to wallow in her happy mood. She entered merrily into a heated debate about the merits of divination with a housemate, Claudia Reddin, a sixth year. Claudia maintained that divination was a useful subject, an important skill that witches and wizards could use to prepare themselves for the future. Lily, on the other hand, was quite certain that the lack of concrete evidence surrounding the subject made it all quite useless. The two girls were both very intelligent, and the friendly debate occupied them all through breakfast.
Inevitably, though, Gryffindor table, and the whole Great Hall, of course, filled with students. Some, like Lily, were excited to begin the new year, but others were reluctant to dive into the mess of work they knew awaited them. The chatter filled the Great Hall to bursting, and even the more unenthusiastic students were soon affected by the bustling atmosphere.
Never a group to miss a meal, the marauders soon appeared at the table. They were smiling, Alanna noted to herself. The marauders were all smiling quite happily, which was hardly characteristic for them, knowing they were about to start in on a new year full of homework. That could only mean that they were planning something.
Alanna glanced at her two best friends. Sara was bickering good-naturedly with her twin, as always. Lily, on the other hand, still appeared to be on her "high" of happiness. Neither of them had noticed the arrival of the marauders.
Alanna sighed; if her friends weren't going to find out what was going on, the job fell to her. She stood, albeit reluctantly, and made her way to the area where James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were seated, halting a few feet away from the group.
"Why don't you just go over there and start it off?" Peter was asking.
"Seriously, Peter, have we taught you nothing?" Sirius said with the air of a grandfather imparting knowledge on an errant grandson. "Jamesie-poo—" That ruined the effect; no doting grandfather in his right mind would use the phrase 'Jamsie-poo.' "Do enlighten dear Peter as to the subtleties of a good plan."
James grinned at his friends' light banter. "See, Pete, if I ignore the lass for the time being, the shock value will be greater when I do choose to—"
James stopped talking, having caught Remus's eye. Remus shook his head minutely, and moved his eyes so they rested slightly above and to the left of James's shoulder.
"—when I do choose to go give Kelsey some flowers"
Sirius, sitting on the same side of the table as James, couldn't see Alanna, but Peter could. His eyes widened.
Sirius, though, not have a clue why the conversation had taken such an unexpected turn, frowned and opened his mouth. They had been talking about the proposed prank on Lily, but James's latest statement was completely off-topic.
James cut Sirius off before he had a chance to utter a word. "I mean, Kelsey won't expect me to know about her toothache, so she won't expect the flowers. It's better this way."
Alanna frowned. "Your girlfriend has a headache, Potter. Do you want me to write that down for you?"
Three of the marauders had already surmised Alanna's presence, but Sirius had not. He jumped a good meter into the air at hearing the voice interrupting the conversation. He struggled to regain his equilibrium. "You can write, Simmons? Well, isn't that a pleasant surprise. Bet the teachers will be real happy to hear it."
Alanna felt her face flush crimson. It was a badly kept secret that she struggled academically. Alanna felt a curtain fall down over her face, hiding the hurt that otherwise would have been visible there. "Whatever you four are up to, drop it," she advised, all the emotion leeched out of her voice. "Or I'll find a way to get you expelled, so help me." She turned to leave.
Sirius opened his mouth to out a nasty retort, but Remus cut him off.
"What we're up to isn't against any rules, Alanna," He answered softly. He knew what it was to be behind in class; after all, he had his—illness—to contend with once a month.
But James, oblivious to the effect Sirius's insult had had on Alanna, jumped in as well. "None of your business, Simmons. Get your nose out before I remove it myself."
Sirius smirked, "Stop it James, you know that might improve her appearance."
Alanna's face couldn't get any redder, instead it whitened. She spun, and walked right past her friends, out of the Great Hall.
Peter looked at his friends. James had gone back to making a sculpture of scrambled eggs on his plate, and Sirius was wearing an ugly expression. Only Remus was still regarding the doors to the Great Hall, as if willing Alanna to come walking back through them.
Peter usually made a point of not contradicting his friends, but he surprised himself by opening his mouth. "Sirius, you know, Alanna Simmons, she's actually quite pretty."
Sirius snorted. "Look, Pete, she's a skinny little prat. That's all."
It was Remus's turn to be surprised. "Honestly Sirius, you need to put a bit less store in looks. I mean, take you, for example. You're widely acclaimed as the most handsome boy at Hogwarts, but you've clearly got no more brains than a toad." Remus snapped his mouth shut. He hadn't wanted to provoke a fight, but it appeared he had done just that.
Sirius stared at him. "At least I'm a better friend than you are. I risk my life being friends with a werewolf, and you won't even back me up against some girl," Sirius hissed angrily.
Remus gaped. "I didn't know you felt that way." He, too, left his seat, stalking off to sit with Michael Hayes, the other 5th year Gryffindor boy.
By this time, James had tuned back into the conversation. "Do you feel that way, Padfoot?"
Sirius shook his head. Damnit, why did Simmons always have to mess with his mind like that? He'd been perfectly fine until she'd come along. But now his mind was roiling with the angry words he'd said to her and to Remus. Why did she make him feel so damn mean?
"I'll apologize to Remus in class. I just went a bit over the edge for a moment, is all."
You sure did, James thought. Where the hell did that come from? But all he said was "Alright. Speaking of, what is the first class?"
The Gryffindor table hushed as the schedules were passed down the length of the table.
MONDAY—
8:00-9:30—Charms
10:00-11:30—Transfiguration
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Potions (w/ Ravenclaw)
TUESDAY—
12:00AM-1:00—Astronomy
8:00-9:30—free period
10:00-11:30—Herbology
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-3:30—Divination
4:00-5:30—Muggle Studies
WEDNESDAY—
8:00-11:30—Double Defense Against the Dark Arts (w/ Slytherin)
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Charms (w/ Ravenclaw)
THURSDAY—
8:00-9:30—Potions
10:00-11:30—Care of Magical Creatures
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Transfiguration (w/ Slytherin)
FRIDAY—
8:00-11:30—Double Herbology (w/ Hufflepuff)
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-3:30—Defense Against the Dark Arts
4:00-5:30—free period
James frowned. "That is one ugly Monday if I've ever seen one."
Peter shrugged, "At least Tuesday won't be a problem."
Sirius didn't say anything. The new year was making him decidedly sick to his stomach.
Lily was forced to give up on her debate when the schedules were passed out. To her surprise, she found she was holding an extra one, one with the name labeled as "Alanna Simmons."
"Sara, d'you know where Alanna is?"
Sara shrugged. "Probably in the toilet."
Lily nodded, and glanced down at her schedule.
MONDAY—
8:00-9:30—Charms
10:00-11:30—Transfiguration
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Potions (w/ Ravenclaw)
TUESDAY—
12:00AM-1:00—Astronomy
8:00-9:30—free period
10:00-11:30—Herbology
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-3:30—Arithmancy
4:00-5:30—Ancient Runes
WEDNESDAY—
8:00-11:30—Double Defense Against the Dark Arts (w/ Slytherin)
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Charms (w/ Ravenclaw)
THURSDAY—
8:00-9:30—Potions
10:00-11:30—Care of Magical Creatures
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-5:30—Double Transfiguration (w/ Slytherin)
FRIDAY—
8:00-11:30—Double Herbology (w/ Hufflepuff)
12:00-1:30—Lunch
2:00-3:30—Defense Against the Dark Arts
4:00-5:30—free period
"Well," she said, smiling, "at least today ought to be fun."
As it grew near to 8:00, the students began filing out of the Great Hall. James sighed; off to one hell of a Monday, the beginning of what was sure to be one hell of a year.
"Ah well," he muttered under his breath. "At least Quidditch ought to be starting off soon."
He wandered off towards the charms classroom with Sirius and Peter. Flitwick arrived just behind them, and they headed quickly for the back of the class, taking their customary seats.
"Alright, everyone, welcome to the first day of classes." Flitwick began his speech, but the marauders were no longer paying attention. Flitwick's voice seemed to fade into the background as they put their minds to more important matters.
Sirius unceremoniously poked Remus in the back. No response. So he did it again. Finally, Flitwick turned his back to the class, presumably to retrieve the objects on which they would be charming. Sirius moved up next to Remus, who was in the row in front of his.
"Remus," he hissed.
"What?"
"Look, hey, mate, I'm sorry, I just got a little, you know, upset. Because of the whole back to school thing and all."
Remus didn't say anything, just turned to face forwards again.
"Mr. Black, back to your seat, if you please. I'd hate to have to take points on the first day."
Sirius moved reluctantly back to his desk, trying to ignore the triumphant glares coming his way by none other than Lily Evans and her gang of girls. One of whom was Alanna Simmons, who seemed back to her usual, haughty self.
Sirius had to use all of his self-control not to stick his tongue out at her.
The rest of the class went as charms always did. They reviewed, mostly easy things like levitation and color-change, but Flitwick assured them that the class on Wednesday would be considerably more difficult.
This pronouncement was met by smiles (Lily Evans), smirks (James Potter and Sirius Black), frowns (Alanna Simmons), and sighs (from the rest). It seemed no time at all before it was time for transfiguration.
Transfiguration, James thought sadly. The one class where it really isn't a good idea to goof. Professor McGonagall had made it quite clear on several prior occasions that anyone she caught misbehaving in her class would regret their lack of thought. It had taken four and a half years for the message to sink through to the marauders, but once it had, they had reluctantly decided to save their pranks for less—vindictive—teachers.
Unfortunately, this led to a dilemma. With McGonagall's class a no prank zone, the marauders had little choice but to attempt to pay attention. Not that the attempts were always successful.
"Mr. Potter, you couldn't by any chance enlighten us as to the nature of your thoughts. They must be interesting indeed to stop you from answering my question."
James couldn't suppress a slight jump as he realized that his professor was addressing him. "Well, yes professor. Actually, I was just reflecting on how beautiful you look today. Did you do something to your hair?" James treated McGonagall to his most charming smile.
Which she didn't fall for.
"Why thank you, Potter. If you're in such a good mood, perhaps you ought to come down and join me later on. Eight o'clock, let's say."
James sighed. "I would, but I've just got so much homework professor."
She smiled, baring her teeth slightly. "Eight o'clock, Mr. Potter. That's a detention. And you'll be there, or I'll be forced to take points."
James used a supreme effort of will to keep the smile on his face. Damnit, it's only the first day of school, and I've got detention already. Then he really did start to grin. Just as usual.
An hour later, the Gryffindor fifth years stumbled out of the class, wavering under the extreme amount of homework that had been assigned. They tottered down to the Great Hall, eagerly anticipating the lunch that was awaiting them.
James and his fellow marauders, of course, weren't loaded down as the other students were. Except for Remus, none of them intended to do their homework, not unless they were extremely bored. And probably not even then.
Besides, Remus wasn't among them, for the time being. He had obviously taken offense from Sirius's earlier comments, and wasn't ready to let them go. And no wonder. Sirius's thoughtless attack had hit harder than he had ever intended.
But the remaining marauders were unaware of this, as they were unaware of so much. In fact, their minds were taken up thinking of James's newest prank. Operation Lily-Love. Stage one was due to start any moment now.
James smiled, turning on his natural charm to its highest extent as Kelsey, his current, but soon-to-be ex girlfriend approached. He would have to handle the situation carefully.
"Kelsey, have a chat with me?"
Kelsey giggled and made her excuses to Jemma. Jemma didn't seem to have any desire to sit next to her boyfriend (Sirius), and instead moved to talk to some of her sixth year friends.
James kept his smile hitched firmly up on his face as Kelsey walked over, and promptly plopped herself down on his lap. It almost slipped, then, but James kept it up. One of the primary rules when breaking up with someone was to stay out of the reach of their arms. He'd been slapped before. James sighed; ah well, the sacrifices he made in the name of a prank.
"So what's up Jamesie?" Kelsey inquired, smiling innocently.
James winced. Not because he was afraid he'd hurt her feelings, but because he was afraid she'd hurt him. Physically. The innocent-looking ones were almost always the worst. "Feeling better, Kelse?" he asked warily.
"Now that you're here? I feel wonderful."
"Oh well, er, good." Damn! James thought explosively. So she's feeling well enough to pummel me into a good pile of mush. Why oh why couldn't that sore throat have lasted just a few hours later?
"Jamesie, are you all right? You look kind of green."
James could hear Sirius and Pete sniggering in the background. He was going to kill them, if he got out of this alive.
"Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. There's one thing though." James pulled every ounce of charm into his slightly desperate smile. "I don't think this is going to work out between us." He closed his eyes and waited for the impact of her hand on his face. There was a reason he'd stopped breaking up with girls in this way...
Surprisingly, though, the impact did not come. James peeked open his left eye. Kelsey was frowning at him, but her hands both seemed to be secure at her sides.
"What did you say, Jamesie?" she inquired, quite calmly for a girl who was being broken up with.
"I said I didn't think this relationship was going to work."
Still no outbreak of rage or fury.
"I'm breaking up with you, Kelse." James opened both of his eyes, confusion showing clearly on his face. He knew girls, no one could dispute that. And he had been sure Kelsey was the type to slap him black and blue. So why wasn't she...?
SMACK!
Kelsey got up from the table and stomped off.
James sat up again, feeling slightly woozy. He could see Sirius, Peter, and Remus standing above him, looking slightly concerned. Well, Pete looked concerned. Sirius just looked amused, and Remus was wearing an expression that suggested that he thought James had gotten exactly what he had deserved.
"Well, one friend out of three isn't bad."
"What?" Sirius asked, obviously confused. "James, I think your girlfriend knocked free your remaining brain cells.
Pete stopped looking concerned and started laughing.
James leaned up and landed a solid blow on the backside of Sirius's knees, causing him to come toppling down on the floor next to James. "Watch it, mate, or I'll show you exactly how many brain cells I have left."
Pete's laughter increased, and even Remus, upset as he still was at Sirius, found a smile suffusing itself onto his face.
"James," Remus began, "what did you do to the poor girl? You were only going out for a day or so."
James grinned, which made his face twinge. Merlin, but that girl has a solid swing. "Well, I bet she thought I was just dating her to snog her."
"Snog her, Prongs?" Pete queried, still laughing. "When did you have time?"
James felt his left eyebrow rise. "A gentleman never tells his secrets," he said mischievously. "Suffice it to say that I did."
Remus shook his head, and offered James a hand. "You are absolutely unbelievable. I don't know how I can bear being friends with you. With any of you," he added, looking pointedly at Sirius.
"It's my Potter charm." That from James.
"I'm just so cute, you can't help but love me," was Peter's contribution.
Sirius looked seriously at Remus. "Because I really don't mean what I say most of the time." He smiled hopefully.
Remus returned the smile, albeit hesitantly.
Sirius's smile turned into his usual grin. "Plus, my debonair good looks, and impeccable style are more than even you can resist, Moony my friend."
Remus snorted. "Well, you can all just keep thinking that, why don't you."
The charged atmosphere had all but vanished, but James had barely sat down again when he was accosted by none other than Lily Marie Evans. And she wasn't looking particularly happy at the moment.
"James Potter, you are despicable, I thought you ought to know."
Oh, go read a book, Evans. But no, that didn't fit with the plan.
"Stage two, now in progress," James heard Sirius whisper under his breath. Not a bad idea, come to think of it.
James called up his Potter charm. A ravishing grin and left eyebrow up in the air. "Look, Evans, I have something I needed to talk to you about. The reason I broke up with Kelsey. See, thing is, I wasn't in love with her."
"Big surprise that is, Potter." Lily muttered under her breath.
"Thing is, Lily," here James leaned forward, his eyes a mere three inches from Lily's own. "Thing is I do love someone," he lowered his voice, calming it into a breathy whisper. "Thing is I love you."
Lily didn't hit James, as satisfying as that might have been. No, she leaned forward, cutting the distance between them to a mere inch and a half. Maybe an inch and a quarter.
"James," she whispered.
"Yeah?" he replied, managing to look rugged and manly, as well as sensitive and quite in love.
"Being a good actor doesn't make you a good person. In fact, of all the people I know, I would have to say that you're the least decent. You're my least favorite. You're the last one I would ever date."
Damn. But then again, maybe there was a plus side in there somewhere. James kept up his act. "Lily-flower. That's wonderful news."
Lily's right eyebrow shot up. Not only at the sickly sweet nickname that very nearly made her gag and lose the lunch she'd eaten so far. No, mostly it was at the fact that James, insufferable prat that he was, could actually find a positive side in all that. He was either as thick as a troll, or just incredibly stupid. Assuming there was a difference.
"See, Lils, I may be last on the list, but at least I'm on it." James winked suavely, and leaned forward yet another fraction. There was now a total of .973 inches between the two competitors. "Don't worry, I'll move my way up."
Lily decided that things had gone far enough. She leaned back for a moment, and grabbed James's plate, still loaded up with food.
One must remember that James has a very large head. A difficult target to miss at such a close range. And Lily didn't miss.
For the second time in ten minutes, James sat up on the floor, feeling slightly off-balance. Merlin, but those Hogwarts plates were heavy.
"Good ol' Potter charm, eh James?" Remus leaned over James, eyes dancing with amusement.
"Good point, Moony," Sirius agreed. "So far today, it's gotten you detention with McGonagall—"
"—A hardy slap on the face—" Peter continued.
"—And a face full of food," Remus laughed.
"Makes us wish we were all born Potters, you know," Sirius finished, speaking for them all.
But James replied with a straight face. "I know. But only I'm special enough."
The author returns....
Wow, I never expected it to be that long. This author's not starts on page 13 (Microsoft Word)!!!!
Well, I hope it makes up for my long absence. I'm so sorry, it's been over a week since I last updated, and I'll try not to do that again. But I can't promise anything. During the week I have almost no time to write, what with soccer, babysitting, play rehearsals, practicing clarinet, and several hours of homework. Weekends are better, but I still have soccer games, soccer practices, and whatever else happens to come up. Like last week was Halloween, and I went to a party and went trick-or-treating. And I had to buy a dress for my formal. And the list goes on. I'm only to update today because I don't have school (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!). Let's see, I'll try to get another chapter out before next Monday, but I can't promise anything, as I've got a formal, a soccer game, and soccer practice....and all that. But I'll try.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to make sure I introduce the teachers (you haven't met some of them before), and any other important characters before I jump into the main plot of the story, but beware because all hell will soon break loose. Stage one of the plan was a success (pretty much), and you'll find out more about stage two next chapter. Also, you'll meet the potions teacher, and find out a bit more about Lily's friends.
Please, if you've wasted your time reading the whopping twelve pages of this chapter, I beg you to waste just a little more time dropping me a little bitty review. Tell me what you thought, if I could do better, and how, and what your predictions are for the future. Constructive criticism and ideas are always welcome. Plus, if you've written any stories of your own, and you tell me about them, I'll read 'em myself, and maybe even tell other people about them. Because that's what I'd really like y'all to do about my stories. Deal?
As always, if you're enjoying this, go ahead and read my other story "Oddments and Essays," if you do, I'll love you forever. And if you want to check out my outing for randomness, PinkytheSnowman and I have a collaboration name, SiriuslyInsane62442. Check out our story, "The Trouble with Evil Monkeys"
To my faithful reviewers, I give y'all a hearty thanks and a smiley face sticker:
Kimbery-Grace: so incredibly glad you liked it....a yellow smiley face sticker to you
Oh, hey, you reviewed chapter 4 as well. Well, in that case, you get a green smiley face sticker as well.
Tritainia: YAY! And I think it's amazing that you can speak two and a half languages. I have trouble with English, and it's my first language. (I'm kidding, guys. Well, kind of...) I would be honored to edit your stuff for you, of course. A pink smiley for you, a nice big one.
Gaby-Black: yay, I got 2 awesomes out of you. Thanks a biiig bundle. And here's a lovely indigo smiley sticker for you.
Oh, and you reviewed chapter 7 as well. A nice magenta sticker as well.
DobbyGrl: YAY! You think I'm funny. Most people just think I'm funny looking....Anyways, thanks, and a gigantuse red smiley for you.
Gillybear: WOW! Thanks so much, I'm so glad you think I had an original idea. That's actually one of the best things that's been said about the story. THANK YOU! A blue smiley sticker for you, with a giant smile.
A Cute but Psycho Bunny: I love you. You are one of my all-time fav reviewers....and the bunny-men too. Hmm, the bunny men are gay? And you want to madly make out with James? Well, so be it. A big smiley sticker for you, complete with bunny ears.
PINKYTHESNOWMAN: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!! YOU DID IT! THE INSTRUMENTS GOT THEIR REVENGE!!!!YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! JUMPS UP AND DOWN YELLING!!!!
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Lots of the people here have great stories, so CHECK 'EM OUT!
Thanks again, and PinkytheSnowman, you are my hero.....this chap is totally dedicated to you....
manchot du destin