My Date with the Battousai's Daughter
Chapter 4 –Remembrances
Back at the dojo Sakura listened overwhelmed, trying to come to terms with what her mother and Yahiko were telling her. She knew that her father was the legendary Hitokiri, ever since an incident when she was a child. But it is possible to know something intellectually yet never truly believe it until one is faced with the truth. She had always dismissed the stories as exaggeration, but now, having literally come face-to-face with the reality of the Battousai, Sakura sat huddled on the front porch pondering the thoughts and memories that came flooding through her.
Seven-year-old Sakura sat in the soft green grass by the river with her friends Sasame, a pale, shy girl with light brown hair, and Yuji, a kind, though unruly, ten year old boy. One of their favorite games on days like this, when it was too hot to play, was telling stories.
Sasame had just finished telling the story of the "Emperor and the Elephant" when Yuji asked, "Do you want to hear a really scary story my Dad told me?" His brown eyes twinkled mischievously through his black spiky bangs.
Seeing his enigmatic smile, the girls squealed and giggled.
"What's it called?" Sakura asked excitedly.
"The Hitokiri Battousai." He said in a low voice.
"Sure Yuji, you tell the best stories!" Sasame chirped, an eager smile lighting up her usually reserved features.
"Many years ago, during the time of the Bakumatsu Revolution," Yuji began, "there was a demon called Battousai who was the deadliest of all the Ishin Shishi rebels. Whenever they wanted someone dead they would give Battousai a black envelope with that person's name in it and before the night was over they would be gone."
He paused dramatically, taking a deep breath, and the two girls leaned forward in horrified delight, anxious to hear the rest of the story.
"He was seven feet tall with burning coals for eyes and his hair was stained red with the blood of the men he had killed. In the streets of Kyoto he stalked his prey, bringing divine retribution to the supporters of the Shogunate. They say he could come and go like a deadly shadow, undetectable by human eyes until it was too late. The last thing men would see was a red blur and a shining silver arc that would end their lives before they could utter a scream."
Sakura shivered. "Where is he now?"
"That's the best part." Yuji continued, "After the battle of Toba Fushimi he disappeared. Many say he is still out there, meting out punishment against those who would dare defy the Ishin Shishi or his idea of justice. Some say he has even been seen around here."
The girls looked around fearfully for a moment, as if expecting Battousai to come popping out from behind a nearby tree.
"Oh come now, Yuji," Sasame jeered, her sharp voice breaking the mood, "you know it's just a story your dad made up so you'd stop sneaking out at night."
But Sakura wasn't so sure.
That night, the little girl awoke with a soft cry, fearful tears in her blue eyes. Her father was at her bedside almost instantly, wrapping her in his arms and drying her face on his yukata. Her brother Kenji slept soundly in the next room.
"Little flower, did you have a nightmare?" He asked her gently with a reassuring smile.
"Yes Daddy."
A little more sternly he asked, "Was Yuji telling his stories again?"
She nodded silently.
With a resigned sigh and an understanding smile, he pulled her onto his lap. "Tell me my little one, what is it this time?"
She told him the story, and a feeling of horror swept through Kenshin's heart.
"No matter how hard this unworthy one tries," he thought, "the past will follow me always."
"You should know Sakura that Battousai was not a demon, indeed he was not." He stated suddenly.
"He wasn't? How do you know Daddy?" She asked; her face full of innocent curiosity. "Did you see him during the revolution?"
"You could say so." He answered, repressing an urge to scream. "No, Battousai was not a demon. He was a man, a man who did many terrible things, but only a man."
"Why, Daddy, did he do all those things?"
Kenshin hugged her tighter before he spoke. "Sometimes people can get swept up with false senses of justice and duty. He actually thought he was protecting people through what he did, but do you think it is right to protect one life with the taking of another?"
Sakura nodded her head slowly in understanding, but one thing still worried her. "What happened to him?" She asked.
"Battousai died in the battle of Toba Fushimi."
Kenshin tucked Sakura under the covers and sighed to himself. "If only that were indeed true." He thought. Though without the control he once had, Battousai still lived within him. Try as he might, a part of Kenshin remained as he was during the revolution. This part of his personality only emerged when Kenshin was filled with extreme anger or stress, but Kenshin and all those who loved him lived in fear of it.
"At least this child never has to." He thought as he bent down and kissed her on the forehead.
Seeing the pained look on his face, Sakura decided to drop the subject. "I love you Daddy." She said.
Kenshin smiled "I love you too little flower. Good night."
Kenshin went back to bed but did not sleep. Kaoru cradled his head on her lap as he cried, his body shaking violently with the force of his pain.
"What more can be done koishii?" He said as he sobbed. "Somehow the past always comes to harm those whom this one loves."
Kaoru spoke, harsh and caring at the same time. "Kenshin, you really are the idiot you make yourself out to be if you don't know how much good you have done for everyone."
"But no amount of good can change the past."
"Don't you see anata?" As she spoke, she lifted his head up to look into his eyes. "I can't think about the past. My life is happening now here with you. Our happiness is here. Of course you can't change what you've done, but like I said when I first met you, I don't care about your past. So stop torturing yourself Kenshin!"
Kenshin hugged her tighter and a small smile crossed his face and lit up his eyes. "Oro, how did you get so wise Kaoru-koishii?"
"Well after eight years of marriage to someone like you I better have learned something."
Kenshin smiled a little wider and he leaned forward to press his lips against Kaoru's. "Like how to cook koishii?"
"Darn you Kenshin!" She growled, playfully smacking his head. "You know you still cook better than me."
"Ororo."
Hearing her husband's unique groan of defeat, Kaoru tried and failed to stifle a laugh. Across the hall, Sakura turned over to go to sleep. She didn't know what had made her father so sad, but the laughter told her that things were all right now.
The next morning Kenshin sat Sakura on his shoulders and went out to buy tofu.
"Why do we have to buy tofu anyway?" Sakura complained as she played with his hair. "It will just get ruined once Mom gets hold of it."
"Sakura…" Kenshin reprimanded, suppressing a grin. "You really must try to be more respectful of your mother."
"I apologize Father, I didn't mean it." Kenshin rarely corrected her, but to avoid her mother's temper, Sakura had learned it was best to listen attentively when he did.
"Besides," Kenshin added cheerfully, "I am making dinner tonight."
Hearing this, Sakura began giggling. Kenshin smiled and reached up one hand to tickle her neck. As he tickled her giggling became hysterical laughter. She shook and squirmed, grabbing hold of her father's ponytail and tightening her legs around his neck.
"Dad! Stop!" She pleaded to no avail. Finally she gave his hair a long firm yank, producing a loud yelp of "Orooo!" from her father's lips.
"Okay, you win." He said hoarsely, bending over as they both tried to catch their breaths.
"I see you have finally met your match." A voice said mockingly.
Sakura suddenly felt her father's shoulders straighten and tense like iron underneath her. She looked up to see a tall, thin man she had never met before wearing a katana and a police officer's uniform. Framed by short black bangs, his lean angular face held a snarling, taunting expression. As he walked towards them she felt frightened by the predatory glint that shone menacingly in his yellowish-brown eyes. Kenshin put his hands around her waist and quickly slid her off his shoulders before standing the small girl protectively close behind him, one hand on the back of her head.
"Saitou." He stated the name as if it were a dagger he could fling at the man.
"So this is your little one, is she?" Saitou said in a casual, mocking tone. "Looks just like her mother."
Kenshin only stiffened, pulling Sakura closer to him and glaring dangerously at Saitou. Though he was used to Saitou's comments when he passed him on the street, this was the first time Saitou had been callous enough to approach him in front of his children.
"No need to fear." Saitou said, sneering. "I have no intention of finishing our fight in front of children," pausing, he added as an afterthought, "Battousai."
As he looked down and saw Sakura's eyes widen in surprise and confusion, a certain part of Kenshin wished he had finished the fight with Saitou all those years ago in Kyoto.
He straightened and glared into Saitou's eyes, speaking forcefully and accusingly: "Tell me Wolf, where is the honorable man this one once knew who compelled respect even from his enemies? Has all of your honor turned to hatred and cruelty? Go back to your children Saitou, and never come near mine again." With this ultimatum, he picked up Sakura in his arms and turned to leave. Saitou simply sneered and continued on his way in the opposite direction.
"Daddy, who was that man?" Sakura asked as they walked through the marketplace.
"Someone who knew me long ago..." Kenshin said with a sigh.
"But why did he call you…?"
Kenshin cut her off. "Please dear," he said tightly, "we will talk about it later, we will."
Sakura held silent as they went to the tofu stand. Kenshin tried to act as if nothing was wrong, but the shopkeeper could not help but wonder at what had happened to the normally boisterous and affectionate pair. As they walked home Kenshin hung his head, avoiding her eyes. Sakura cleared her mind, trying to will herself not to think about what had made her father so troubled before they got home, but the stranger's words kept coming back to her—one in particular. Entering the gate, Kenshin sat wearily on the porch with a sad expression on his face and with a slow wave of his hand gestured Sakura to sit next to him.
After what seemed like an eternity Kenshin broke the silence. "Sakura, there is something you must hear. Something this one had hoped you would never have to know, but now this one realizes there is little choice."
"What is it Daddy?" she said, almost afraid to ask.
"How do I say it?" Kenshin thought to himself. "How do I tell my child that I am the one who gave her the nightmares, that I was a nightmare?"
About blood and white plums?
"Sakura," he said carefully, "Do you remember when your mom told you that I fought in the revolution?"
"Yes Daddy, she said that's where you got that awful scar." Sakura giggled nervously, looking at the faint cross-shaped scar, then stopped, thinking, "He called you 'Battousai', didn't he, but…no." Her eyes widened and she began to shake her head in denial.
Seeing her face, Kenshin put his hands to his temples and sighed again. "Yes dear, it is true."
"But that's impossible!" She shouted, her voice near hysterical. "You're the kindest person I know! How could you be him?" Suddenly she remembered the words her father had spoken to her last night: 'Sometimes people can get swept up with false senses of justice and duty.'
"Yes my child, it's true." Kaoru said, coming out on the porch. "Your father was once a very different person than he is now." She sat behind them and put a hand on each of their shoulders.
Kenji stood behind them, anger and shock apparent on his face. "But Dad, what happened to you that could make you do things like that?" He asked.
"When it all started this lowly one only wanted to help people, to help those suffering from the cruelty of the Shogunate government." Kenshin began, his voice low and even. "So…I left my master and went to fight in the war. The people I worked for told me I was 'paving the way for a new era'. I believed them, and out of some twisted sense of duty did what they asked. But with each mission a part of my soul was torn away. It's not surprising they called me a 'demon'."
"But then why are you like you are now?" Sakura asked.
"The violence I lived with killed someone whom I cared deeply about. When that happened I saw the horror of the life I was living. I decided that when the war ended I would throw away my katana and never kill again."
Kenji looked down at his father's sword, "Is that why you carry the reverse-blade sword?"
"Yes, when I left the Ishin Shishi someone convinced me that I must use my skill to protect others without killing. I went out wandering, trying to do some good so I could make some repayment to the world for my sins."
"And that's how he met me." Kaoru said with a smile. "He saved my life."
Kenshin smiled at Kaoru, unwilling to go into the complications of that statement.
They all sat silently for a moment before Kenshin stood and picked up the bucket of tofu.
"Perhaps now would be a good time to make dinner." Kenshin walked into the house.
As Kaoru was about to leave, Sakura said, "I just got one more question Mommy."
"Yes dear?"
"If Daddy really was so scary, than how come he's such a softie now? I mean how come he's so nice and does all the cooking, and laundry and everything?"
"That's just who he really is, dear." Kaoru answered smiling gently. "He wasn't himself when he did those things. The person we know now, that's who he really is."
Sakura took her mother's hand and walked into the house.