WARNING: SPOILER! WILL USE AKITO IN FEMALE FORM!!! Akito is one of my most favorite characters in the anime so that will be accented upon only…slightly. She's just so fun to make fun of ya know? You have been warned.

Chapter 3:

Shin'ne YMCA

Akito never really noticed this before, but she was getting a bit chubby, even members of the Jyuunishi were looking at her funny whenever she passed them in the hallways of the Main House.

But then again, anyone would look at her funny since she's a sexist, crossdressing, cow molester (poor Hatsuharu) but that's just in my opinion, (but no one cares about my opinion so let's move on.) Oh, poor, sweet, innocent Akito! What wrong did you ever do deserve this?

But back to the point, Akito was getting fat and Kureno was starting to worry about her a bit.

"Akito-san, have you noticed a….WEIGHT CHANGE…recently?" Kureno had called in Hatori (from the other room) to give Akito a quick check-up.

"What are you talking about? What kind of crazy doctor are you? I am God dammit! I don't GAIN or LOSE weight. I'm just perfect! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Akito was about to sit up out of her chair, but all that weight was too much for her to bear so she just ended up rolling around on the floor as a result.

By this time, Hatori was already done writing out a prescription. "I want her on this until further notice," Hatori said like the high and mighty doctor he will never be since he's stuck being a doctorly slave to the Sohma clan for the rest of his life.

He handed the slip of paper to Kureno. "And I want her to join an exercise group to get her back in shape." Hatori whispered to him out of Akito's range of hearing, which wasn't very far. "Will do, mate!" Kureno said in that fake Australian accent of his.

The next morning, Kureno woke Akito up at the butt crack of dawn, pulled her into a scary men's tanktop that he kept hidden in the back of his closet (he knew it would be good for something) and some sweatpants, and shoved her into the family Mazda.

"I'm God DAMMIT!" Akito protested angrily and rather randomly about ten minutes into the drive. "Jolly good, sweetums. I'm taking you to a place where you can boss all the young chaps around and do whatever you want." Kureno had mysteriously replaced his fake Australian accent with a very bad British one.

"Uh, can't I do that ANYWHERE I go? Gosh, this place sounds so stupid." Akito whined annoyingly like Napoleon from Napoleon Dynamite. "No sweetums, this is a place filled with great opportunities. You can meet new people. Make new friends yet keep the old, one is silver and another is gold I always say…"

Kureno paused awkwardly after saying that last part. He didn't want Akito to find out that when he was in the 5th grade, he had secretly signed up for the local Girl Scout troop without her permission. Naughty, naughty Kureno! We can't have that now can we? It wouldn't've really mattered anyway since he wouldn't transform when a girl hugged him 'cause he mysteriously lost his powers when he Akito did some ::cough stuff cough:: when they were younger.

"…and all that jazz" Kureno added in matter 'o factly. Akito just gave him her weird 'dialated eyes' look she always gave when she's to confused to know what something is but inside can sense she won't like it. I bet you Akito didn't even know what a Girl Scout was.

"What is this…FRIENDSHIP… you speak of?" Akito asked, rubbing her hands together maniacally, I mean how was she supposed to know what friendship was if she was such a social freak (…and sickly) that she never left her own house until she was 19? "Oh, it's nothing sugar muffin, but I'm sure you'll meet a lot of interesting people while you're in this place."

The rest of the car ride was silent, since Akito was no longer in the mood to talk to her sex slave anymore. When they arrived at the…place in question…Akito stared at Kureno in amazement (when they finally managed to get her out of the car that is.)

"THIS is your place of many splendors? This is the…" (a brief pause while Akito tried to make out the strange "symbols" on top of the large building) "YMCA…YOU TOOK ME TO THE YMCA?! How could you do this to me? Only health freaks go to the YMCA! I demand…" Kureno just dragged Akito into the building and up to the main desk, ignoring the angry remarks of flaming passion Akito threw at him.

"How may I help you?" The woman at the desk asked, trying to also ignore the fact that Akito was now holding one of the decorative potted plants above Kureno's head in a rather threatening way.

"We'd like a membership please…" Kureno couldn't hold in his pent up rage for much longer. "Alright, two male memberships. The mens locker rooms are just around the corner."

Kureno tried to correct the woman, that Akito was nothing but a genderly confused female, but Akito gave him such a dirty look (as if she WANTED people to think she was a man) that he didn't have it in him. He just took the membership cards and slunk around the corner, head hung low, with Akito trailing behind.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!….

AUTHORESS NOTES!: Hey people, its been a while since I've posted. In this installment, I decided to make Kureno be a kind of "fatherly" figure towards Akito, even though she only thinks of him as a sex slave. Poor Kureno, he doesn't even have a real voice, that's why I have to keep making up all these accents to find which one is the true....KURENO! HOHOHOHOHO! The rest of the story will be posted later on. Will Akito actually find a friend at the Y? Will Kureno be able to hold his head up proud once again? Will the clerk lady realize that Akito is a woman pretending to be a man? All will be revealed in the next chapter!