Shrek, Inuyasha Style
By: Fuji the Hobbit
Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek,and read the story to find out the rest
Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit
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The story opens upon a small shack in the adventurous times of Feudal Japan. The shack belongs to a half demon named Inuyasha. Because of his half breed heritage, Inuyasha lived in self exile. Many of the minor demons who were quite harmless and friendly lived among the humans peacefully. However, this was all about to change due to a certain Prince Kouga.
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A lone leather bound book lays in the darkness. Opening by itself, a beautiful tune plays as someone begins to read its tale aloud.
"Once upon a time there was a lovely Priestess. She was greatly loved-" The page was turned.
"-but she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort. This horrible enchantment could only be broken by True Love's First Kiss." The next page was turned.
"She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon demon."
"Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed."
"She waited in the dragons keep; in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss." The reader scoffed and threw the book out of the tree he was sitting in and into the water below.
"Yeah, right. Like that's ever going to happen." The figure jumped from the tree and he came into view. He was a tall young man... er, half demon. He had a fit body covered by a red hoari and white hakama. He had silver dog ears sticking out of his long, flowing silver hair. His hands and feet were tipped with claws, his mouth was complete with fangs and he had beautiful golden eyes. Looking down he shook a leaf off his foot and stood proudly with his hands hooked into his belt.
He looked over to his home. It was an average sized haphazardly built log cabin complete with overgrown weeds, ferns and other wildlife. Inuyasha sighed happily at the home he was proud of with a look of contentment on his face.
Inuyasha took a nearby bucket and, after removing his clothes, jumped into the dirty pond he had thrown the book into. It could have been easily cleaned, but it never bothered him so he just left it. He made a grand splash and resurfaced spitting water everywhere. He ripped out some soap weed by the shore and lathered his body with it. When he got out he somehow looked cleaner. No one ever knew how he did it. It was one of those unsolved mysteries of life.
Once he was dressed he skipped over the pond as close as he could get to the surface and picked a large fish out of the water with cat-like grace. He looked at it, satisfied with its size, and threw it in the bucket with a little water. Next he hunted. Stalking his prey with natural stealth he was able to easily catch an animal that would last him for a day or two. He dropped his food off at home and walked to the edge of his property. He began to mark his scent around his territory so that the minor demons would stay away. Meanwhile...
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In the nearby village several of the inhabitants had been spending all day preparing to capture the half demon that lived in the shack not too far out of the town. Lately, many posters had been posted around the kingdom calling for all the minor demons running around to be captured and turned into the nearest military encampment. There was a special reward for any half demons that were caught. The villagers formulated their plans in the dirt with sticks before grabbing spears, pitchforks and torches.
Back at Inuyasha's cabin he was leaning back in his lay-z-boy reclining chair. He was munching on the fish he had caught earlier and had just finished cooking after building a fire.
The village men were seen running through the forest with their spears and pitchforks up and torches alit.
Inuyasha's ears perked up and twitched at the distant sounds of a disturbance in his surroundings and he got up and walked over to the window. A dark look crossed his face when he recognised the noise as the men from the village. Inuyasha stepped back, slipping into the shadows.
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A group of ten villagers were standing in the cover of some bushes overlooking the half demon's house.
"Think it's in there?" one villager muttered.
"All right! Lets get it!" a man started charging, but was stopped by another villager.
"Woah, hold on. Do you have any idea what that thing can, and probably will, do to you?" The second man asked.
"Yeah," another one butted in, "it'll cut you up and feed you to its children." The villagers jumped and turned around as someone chuckled heartily.
"Yes, well actually, that would be a bird demon." Inuyasha stated. The villagers all gasped and backed up a bit.
"Now dog demons-- They're much worse. They'll let you go and chase you down for their amusement."
"No!" one of the men cried.
"They'll rip out your intestines!" Inuyasha began to advance on the men and they, in turn, began to back away. "Squeeze the blood out of your heart!" He said, making motions with his hands to heighten the effect. He paused with a thoughtful look on his face. "I've heard it's quite good fresh."
"Back! Back, beast!" A man cried leaping forward with his torch and waving it in Inuyasha's face. "Back! I warn you!"
The half-demon had a look of amusement on his face as he moved forward with his demon speed and closed his hand around the flickering light of the torch, putting it out before the man hurt someone. The men gasped and the man who held the previously lit torch said, "Right," in a quavering voice as he dropped it on the ground.
Inuyasha drew in large breath and roared at the men. They all screamed in terror; stopping abruptly to freeze in place. Inuyasha roared until the torches had all been put out. The men stood in their places, frozen and unable to move for fear of death by the monster. Seeing the men weren't going to move Inuyasha leaned forward and whispered, "Boo." He also curled his upper lip so that one of his fangs protruded and glinted in the moonlight. The men ran away quickly, some dropping their 'weapons' in their haste.
Inuyasha stood there laughing as he watched them leave. "And stay out!" he called after them. Then he noticed a piece of parchment on the ground. He picked it up and read it aloud. "Wanted. Lesser and half demons." The half demon sighed and threw the parchment back on the ground as he returned to his house.
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It was day. There were carts of lesser demons being carted off by wolf demons and men working together. There were all sorts of demons. Cat demons, bug demons, bird demons, squirrel demons, bat demons, pig demons, ox demons... you name it, it was there.
At a table a bear demon was being sold.
"Give me that!" One of the wolves yanked the pillow out of the bear's grasp. "Your sleeping days are over." The bear was taken to a cart and it's seller was given money.
A small child kitsune, who was disguised as a mushroom was being held in a powerful thunder demon named Manten's arms. He looked around at the many other demons being carried away. A family of fish demons were being separated into jars and you could hear the children screaming "Momma!" while other demons were crying as they were being locked up in various carts.
"Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again!" Shippo pleaded in a hushed whisper. "Please! Give me another chance!
"Oh shut up," the powerful demon said in irritation. He was about to hit the kitsune but stopped as they moved ahead in the line because the wolf at the table called "Next!"
Another man stepped forward with a moth demon cocoon. "I've got this," the old man said.
"I'm a butterfly!" it yelled as it broke out of it's cocoon, but was quickly captured by one of the men.
"Five shillings for the deranged bug. Take it away."
"Master, please! Don't let them do this!" the moth called out. The master did not do anything and let one of the men take the moth away. "Help me!" the moth cried.
"Next. What have you got?"
"Well, I've got a kitsune," Manten said as he dropped the mushroom on the table.
"Right," the wolf said skeptically. "Well, that's good for ten shillings... if you can prove it.
"All right, little fella. Show them your fox magic." The kitsune remained a mushroom and sat still on the table.
"Well?"
"Oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous." Manten spoke sweetly. "He's really quite a handful." Manten's voice lost it's sweet tone as he turned on the mushroom. "Do something, you boneheaded dolt--" The wolf interrupted him.
"That's it. I've seen enough. Guards!"
"Hey, no! He is a fox! Really, he is!" Monten cried desperately. He picked up the mushroom and made it dance. "I'm a fox. I'm a great fox. I'm the greatest damned fox you ever saw."
The wolf made a little circle with his finger around his temple. "Get him out of my sight."
"No! No, I swear!" Manten was being pulled away by a wolf and a human. "He is a fox!" When Manten was being pulled away he kicked the mushroom and it flew into the air, using his fox magic to keep him afloat. Shippo popped back into his fox form and floated for a moment. "Hey! I can fly!" he exclaimed.
"He can fly!" Said a bird demon.
"He can fly!" Three pig demons echoed.
"He's a fox!" The wolf at the table cried in dismay as he began to stand.
"Ha, ha! That's right idiot! Now I'm a flying foxy fox!" The kit chuckled some more. "You might have seen a fox, or even a foxy lady, but I bet you've never seen a foxy fox. Ha, ha!" Unfortunately the fox's triumph was cut short as he began descending from the air, his magic too weak to support him.
"Uh-oh," he said before he plopped on the ground.
"Sieze him!" The wolf ordered and the guards tackled the kit, but he managed to wriggle out of their grasping hands and ran into the forest.
"After him! He's getting away!" Shippo ran through the woods, over a rock, under a fallen tree, and made a right. He looked back to see where his pursuers were when he ran into something hard. He gasped as he looked up at the half demon who'd turned around to see what had bumped into him.
"Get him! This way! Turn!" Shippo was about to run away from the Inuyasha but he looked back the men were right behind him. Between them and this guy, he chose this guy and ran behind him for protection.
The guards and wolf stopped as they came upon the half demon. Inuyasha pulled a stern face and stood up tall to face the trespassers.
"You there. Half breed!" The wolf called nervously.
"Hn?"
"By the order of Lord Kouga, I am authorized to place you both under arrest..." the wolf told Inuyasha. His voice became shakey and he began to falter as Inuyasha stalked over to them.
"...and transport you to a designated... resettlement... facility?"
"Oh, really?" Inuyasha asked in a falsely cheerful voice. "You and what army?" The wolf looked back to see that his men had all run away. The wolf gasped then ran away whimpering with his tail between his legs. Inuyasha left without a second thought to the chuckling kit.
The small kitsune noticed the half demon leaving and spoke up. "Can I say something to you?" Getting no reply, he continued on.
"You were really, really something back there. Really incredible!" The kitsune was running around Inuyasha who couldn't see him, only hear him.
"Are you talkin' to--" Inuyasha turned around to deal with the kit, but he suddenly wasn't there. "-me?" Inuyasha raised a well formed silver eyebrow and turned around to face a cute little kitsune standing in front of him. "Whoa!"
Shippo continued to talk in a rushed voice like nothing was out of the ordinary. "Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you were great back there? Those guards!" Shippo was trying to stay in front of Inuyasha to talk to him but he just kept walking. "They thought they were just so great. Then you showed up, and bam! They were tripping over themselves like cubs in the woods. See, that really made me feel good to see that."
"Oh, that's great." Inuyasha said apathetically. Shippo just kept talking a mile a minute.
"Man, it's good to be free."
"Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?" Inuyasha asked in a low growl, not stopping his forward motion
"But, I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there all by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you." Shippo caught up.
"You're a mean, green,demon fighting machine. Together we'll scare the youki out of any demon that crosses us." Inuyasha growled low in his chest, took a deep breath, and roared in Shippo's face. Shippo, much to Inuyasha's dismay, was not frightened.
"Oh, wow! That was really scary." Inuyasha threw up his arms in exasperation and began to stalk away. "If you don't mind me saying, if that doesn't work, your breath certainly will get the job done. You definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath stinks!"
Shippo popped out upside down from a log, surprising Inuyasha. "You almost burned the hair out of my nose. It reminds me of the time--" Inuyasha covered Shippo's mouth but he still kept talking. Inuyasha sighed and removed his hand.
"Then I ate some rotten berries. I sure did have some strong gases eking out of my butt that day." Shippo continued like he wasn't interrupted.
"Why are you following me?" The half demon asked in exasperation.
"I'll tell you why." Shippo jumped down from the log and began to sing,
'Cause I'm all alone.
There's no one here beside me.
My problems are all gone,
There's no one to deride me.
But you gotta have freedom--
"Stop singing!" Inuyasha shouted. He picked up the kit by the tail. "It's no wonder you don't have any friends."
"Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest."
"Listen, little kitsune--"
"Shippo."
"Listen, Shippo. Take a look at me. What am I?
"Uh--" Shippo looked up at Inuyasha and guessed, "Really tall?"
"No! I'm a half-breed. You know 'Grab your torch and pitchforks.' Doesn't that bother you?"
Shippo shook his head. "Nope."
"Really?" Inuyasha asked in sincere surprise.
"Really, really."
"Oh," was all Inuyasha had to say.
"Dog, I like you. What's your name?"
"Uh, Inuyasha."
"Inuyasha? Hmm... Well, you know what I like about you, Inuyasha? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I really like that. I respect that. You're all right." They stopped walking as they came to a little hill that overlooked the swamp and Inuyasha's house.
"Whoo! Look at that. Who would want to live in a dump like that?" Shippo asked.
"That would be my home." Inuyasha stated and stated walking towards said house. Shippo frowned in dismay and changed his attitude immediately.
"Oh! And it is just lovely! Beautiful! You are quite the decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget." Shippo paused, glancing at a rock on the hill. "I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder."
Down near the house Inuyasha passed a couple of handmade 'keep out' signs. Shippo paused to look at them. "I guess you don't entertain much, do you?"
"I like my privacy."
"You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, I hate it when you have somebody all in your face. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big awkward silence, you know." Shippo paused an seemed to realize that said silence was occuring at that very moment. He suddenly blurted out, "Can I stay with you?"
"Uh, what?"
"Can I stay with you... please?"
"Of course!" Inuyasha said sarcastically.
"Really?" Shippo perked up.
"No."
"Please! I don't wanna go back there!" Shippo whined, as he jumped up on Inuyasha's shoulder. "You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak." Shippo paused, thinking for a moment. "Well... maybe, you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You just have to let me stay, please!"
"Okay, okay!" Inuyasha gave in. "But for one night only."
"Oh, thank you Inuyasha!" Shippo ran inside the house and jumped onto a chair.
"Oi! What are you... No!" he cried as he watched Shippo jump on the chair.
"This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swapping demonic stories, and in the morning I'm going to be making waffles."
"Oi!" Inuyasha made a motion like he was strangling something.
"So, uh... where do I sleep?" Shippo asked looking around.
"Outside!" Inuyasha yelled as he pointed to make it all the more clear.
"Oh. Well, I guess that's cool." Shippo sniffed dramatically, looking sad and lonely. "I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me. So I guess outside is best, you know."
He sniffled again. "Here I go. Going to sleep outside. In the cold. And the dark," he said as he slowly made his way outside. "Good night," Shippo said with a sigh.
"I mean... I do like the outdoors. I'm a kitsune. I was born outside."
Inuyasha sighed.
"I'll just be sitting by myself outside, in the cold and dark. Just sitting by myself outside." Shippo began to sing again in a sad mournful tone,
I'm all alone.
There's no one here beside me...
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AN: Well here is the first chapter of my crossover, hope you enjoyed it. I would greatly appriciate any ideas for making it more Inuyasha-ish, as in the events, not characters.
Credit to Kushielle for wonderfully beta-ing my story (after much whining and naggingxp)