Shrek, Inuyasha Style
By: Fuji the Hobbit
Summary: The Shrek story starring the Inuyasha cast. Kagome plays Fiona, Inuyasha Shrek, and read the story to find out the rest.
Characters and themes from both Shrek and Inuyasha do not belong to Fuji the Hobbit.
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Shippo and Inuyasha ventured inside. The castle was dark, ominous, creepy and in ruins; everything you'd expect of a dragon guarded castle. There were skeletons lying everywhere.They were usually next to some scorched or broken wall.
"Are you afraid?" Shippo whispered.
"No, but... Shh!" Inuyasha ordered, also in a quiet voice.
"Oh, good. Me neither." Shippo gasped in terror when Inuyasha had startedwalking awaywithout him and he scurried back up to his source of protection.
"'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid, you know. It's a natural emotion. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation I might add." Shippo was talking in a calm but panicked voice. "With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it definately doesn't mean you're a coward if you're... a little scared, you know? I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that." Shippo whimpered terribly after his confession when he ran into a dead knight and it's helmet fell on his head.
"Shippo! Two things, okay?" Inuyasha held up two fingers. "Shut... up," he counted off, putting his fingers down as he did.
"Now, go over there and see if you can find any stairs." Inuyasha ordered as he took the helmet from Shippo's head and put it on his own head.
"Stairs?" Shippo looked startled and a bit baffled."I thought we were looking for the princess."
"The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower."
"What makes you think she'll be there?"
"I read it in a book once." Inuyasha called back over his shoulder.
"Alright. I can live with that. You take care of the dragon. I'll take care of those stairs." Then Shippo began muttering silly nonsense as he walked away, presumably to find the stairs if he could stay focused.
"I'll find those stairs. For sure. They'll never know what hit them! I'm vicious! I'm the stair master." He jumped up on a crumbling old stair and stuck his chest out as he ranted. He opened a large pair of doors and sauntered through them.
"Yep.Stairs. Damned things won't know what stepped on them. I'll fox fire those stairs! I'm so great... they'll crumble when they see me. Stair master on the way! You stairs better beware."As Shippo muttered his incoherence a large eyelid, almost as large as himself, opened to a yellow slit. Shippo, totally oblivious to the threat to his person, continued on in the same fashion.
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Inuyasha continued on his way through the castle, picking up any armour he came across that fit his specifications. He was about to call out for the dragon when he heard a roar from another part of the castle.
"Well, at least I know where the dragon is." He muttered. "The only thing left is where the princesses tower-"
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"Dragon!" Shippo screamed as he ran, narrowly missing a burst of flame. He ran back through the corridor he had just escaped from, the dragon hot on his tail. When Shippo found Inuyasha he gave an extra spurt of speed to get out of harms way.
"Damn filthy demon!" Inuyasha snapped, pushing Shippo out of the way as the dragon took aim and shot more fire at them. Shippo cried out when Inuyasha was engulfed by the flames, but had little time to dwell on it when the dragon came after him again. Shippo ducked and covered his head seconds before fire seared the air above him. Paralysed by fright, he didn't move, save for the trembling of his body, and the dragon leaned in to make a quick meal out of him.
The demon would havegotten a nice little appetizer had Inuyasha not grabbed it's tail and yelled, "Oi! You're fight's over here!" Shippo scurried away when the dragon reared it's head to snap at the half demon attached to it's tail.Inuyasha hung on for dear life as the demon swung it's large tail back and forth and up and down and around and around to get rid of the parasite-like half-demon.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Inuyasha cried at every swing until finally the dragon managed to throw him into the air, soaring like a bird. He made a grand arc before coming down through a roof into a tower.
The dragon, satisfied with the desposal of that annoyance, continued it's perusal of the small terrified kitsune. Frustrated at being too large for the tiny human structures it blew fire into the base of one of the smaller towers, causing Shippo to come running out onto a raised catwalk near by followed closelyby the demon's fire. He ran over the small catwalk attempting to get acrosswhen a large tail came and destroyed the rest of the path in front of him. He gasped in shockand turned around to try and go back over the catwalk the other way but was stopped by the demons tail crashing in his path again, destroying his last route of escape. He tried valiantly to run back the other way again and the path was made even smaller with yet another crash of the dragon's tail.
Shippo was now trapped on a small square of stone at the mercy of the demon that was now rearing up in front of him.
"No! I'm too small to die!" Shippo gave a small scream when the rock he was trying to back up onto crumbled away.
"My, what large teeth you have." Shippo trembled. The dragon roared at him loud enough to blow his ears back.
"I mean... white sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food-" the dragon was now regarding Shippo curiously, "-but you must bleach. 'Cause, you know, that is one dazzling smile you got there. And, er...do I detect a hint of minty freshness." Shippo was no longer cowering as he poured on the charm for the dragon. The demon was looking very flattered rather than intimidating and fearful.
"And you know what else? You're-" He broke off as the dragon leaned its head close to him and batted very feminine eyelashes.
"You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're exuding irresistable feminine beauty!" The she-dragon was thoroughly contented with Shippo's praises and flaunted all the femininity she had, batting her eyelashes more.
"What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?" She blew a heart smoke ring around the kitsune.
"Ooh." Shippo said as he understood. "Oh. Oh, well gosh... I'd really love to stay but, you know, I'm... uh-" he coughed, "-I'm an asthmatic, and I really don't know if it would work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings." Shippo paused for a moment to consider his options. "Inuyasha!" Shippo screamed as soon as he turned around. The dragon reached over and picked Shippo up by his tail, carrying him off into the castle.
"No! Help, Inuyasha! Inuyashaaaaaaaaa...!"
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Inuyasha picked himself up off of the floor and shook his head to clear away the fog. Unaware of the woman behind him, who lay down with a bouquet of flowers clenched in her hands and placed on her breasts when she noticed his sudden entrance, brushed himself off.
Turning around he gazed upon a young woman with raven hair.She was laying on a bed wearing an elegant, electric blue dress as a small smile graced her face in her 'slumber'.
He walked over to her and kneeled downon the mattress. He reached down and grasped her shoulders gently and studied her face. He gave a slight nod and roughly shookher awake.
"Oh! Hey!" she criedwhen Inuyasha shook her.
"Wake up!" he ordered harshly.
"What?" she demanded irritably, looking up at the charred face of her rude alarm clock in dismay.
"Are you the priestess, Princess Kagome?"
"I am," she replied airily. "Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me."
"Aww that's nice." He commented sweetly. He then continued in his harsh voice."Now, let's go!" He proceeded to head out of the room dragging the lady along with him.
"But wait... Sir Knight! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" She asked falling back on the bed putting her hand to her forehead with a romantic flourish.
"Yeah. Sorry lady. There's no time." Inuyasha reached forward and hauled the priestess away.
"Hey, wait. Wait a minute!"She interrupted in an angry voice. "What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out younder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed."
"You've had lots of time to plan this, haven't you?" Inuyasha asked as he turned away from the lock he was trying to break.
"Mmhmm." Inuyasha ran forward and broke down the door with his demon strength.
"But we must savour this moment!" Kagome cried, racing down the stairs of the tower to keep up with her 'rescuer'. "You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick!? Or... something!" She finished as she wrenched her hand away from him.
"I don't think so." They both came to a stop.
"Can I at least know the name of my champion?"
"Um, Inuyasha," he said somewhat hesitantly.
"Sir Inuyasha." Kagome cleared her throat delicately. "I pray that you would take this favour as a token of my gratitude." She held up a lacy handkerchief that Inuyasha eyed critically. He then grabbed it and used to clean his brow.
"Thanks." He handed it back to Kagome who held itas if it were trying to bite her. Then the dragon roared.
"You didn't slay the dragon?" she asked incredulously.
"It's on my to-do list, okay? Now come on wench!"
"But this isn't right!" Kagome cried while struggling in Inuyasha's grasp. "You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did!"
"Yeah... right before they burst into flame." He said sarcastically, pointing to one of the crispy knightsthey had just passed.
"That's not the point..." she trailed off as they entered what looked like the dragon demon's kitchen complete with a cauldron and recipe book titled '30 Excellent Ways to Cook Humans'. "Wait... where are you going? The exit's over there."
"I have to save my ass," Inuyasha said.
"What kind of knight are you?" Kagome demanded frustrated.
"One of a kind," Inuyasha answered smugly before opening the door Shippo's frantic voice had flowed forth from.
He heard Shippo trying to deter the dragon. "Whoa, slow down. Slow down lady. Please! I believe it's healthier to get to know someone over a longer period of time than what you're suggesting." Inuyasha crept in and looked down into a pit full of treasure where the she-dragon had the fox.
"Just call me old-fashioned," Shippo chuckled nervously. "I don't want to just rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally or physically ready for a commitment of, uh, this- Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. I'm still a little kid you know." Shippo explained. The dragon reached down and stroked Shippo's head lovingly.
"Hey! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Whoa, wait... what are you doing?" Shippo demanded as the dragon pulled away from coddling the kit and lit the chandelier hanging above her head.
"Okay, alright. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time." Shippo used his magic to turn into a donkey. "See, you don't want me. I'm a real ass in relationships."
Inuyasha was on the railing behind the loving couple and was looking around for some sort of strategy.
"We really should get to know each other first as just friends or aquaintances." Inuyasha had found a good idea. He grabbed a chain hanging from the ceiling and yanked on it a couple of times to check its sturdiness. Then he jumped and swung over the dragon's head a couple of times while looking for what to do next. Above him the chain was rolled on a crank. He climbed up the chain a little then jumped down and used his weight to make the chain unroll. He swung andlanded on top of Shippo, knocking him down safely to the gold below. He pushed Shippo just as the dragon was about to kiss him and the demon ended up kissing Inuyasha's ass instead, much to Inuyasha's shock.
The dragon opened it's eyes expecting to see a donkey. It saw Inuyasha's ass instead, much to it's shock and dismay. The demon roared in anger, only to crank up the volume when the chandelier landed aroundits neck like a collar.
Inuyasha jumped off thestone platformasthe dragonroared ran up some stairs, grabbing Shippo as he passed him. They passed by the dragon on the next level, fire close on their heels.
Inuyasha picked Shippo up as he jumped down a hole and ran towards Kagome. She opened her mouth to speak but Inuyasha hoisted her up too.
"Hi Princess!" Shippo greeted from Inuyasha's back.
"It talks!" Kagome gasped as Shippo changed back from a donkey to a fox.
"Yeah, it's getting it to shut up that's the trick," Inuyasha joked. He stopped at a hole too large to jump and a fallen stone column leading to a level below. The dragon made a snap at them and Inuyasha slid down.
"Oi!" Inuyasha's eyes crossed momentarily as he slid across one section of the column that was lowered from the rest leaving painful consequences.
After jumping off from the column he groaned and his first few steps were wobbly prior to running. He looked up ahead and saw checkered columns in a large room. He grinned and led the dragon still hot on their trail, twisting and turning around the stone pillars.
He turned another corner and the dragon was standing in front of them. They all gasped at the same time and jumped out of the way as the dragon shot more fire at them. A short distance away he set the two of them down.
"Okay you two. Head for the exit!" They ran without hesitation and Inuyasha picked up a sword. "I'll take care of the dragon." He rammed the sword into a crisscrossed section of chain to hold it and ran for the door.
"Run you idiots!" He called as he caught up to them waiting for him, the dragon having also spotted them.
They ran out the front entrance and the dragon sent more fire following them, all the way to the rickety rope bridge. It didn't get our hero's but did burn enough of the bridge to free one end.
Kagome screamed and Inuyasha took a hold of the bridge. Shippo tried valiantly to hang on but slipped. Fortunately, Inuyasha caught him by his tail.
The dragon charged out of the castle among the flaming ruins and jumped to take flight; Kagome screamed again, her hands beginning to glow with purification powers. The dragon, however, was detained by the sword Inuyasha had wisely placed among the chains and all it could do was fly to the end of the chain.
The trio sighed and began to climb up the bridge while the dragon sat back at the castle entrance, whimpering pitifully.
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A/N: Well I managed to update on time this week, unfortunately school is starting tomorrow. Blah. Anyways credit to Kushielle for doing a bang up job of betaing, and painfully pointing out all my errors mock glare
Review Responses:
stackles: Ah, yes. That is the one I checked out. Thanks for all your reviews.
Do a DAMN GOOGLE SEARCH: Ah.. your review was interesting, to say the least. I had a bit of trouble reading it, but I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for your reveiw.
RockyShoreline: Unfortunately no. Naraku is simply too evil for something like this and Sesshoumaru is too cold. I might be able to work Sesshy into the sequal, much to the horror of my beta considering what I'm going to do to him.
CatHanyouNelia: I know, I'm a total Shippo fangirl too. But gasps you don't like Kouga O-O He's practically my favortie character! At least when he is portrayed correctly.
Thanks to the following who also reviewed:
Daddy's Pixie, omae, nekoinuhanyou