Again: I don't own anything. I don't even own myself. Eoin Colfer's characters are, obviously, Eoin Colfer's. So, stop with the lawyers, already!

NTS: Updating three minutes after the first update... not the best of ideas.

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Artemis wasn't in his best state of mind. In fact, he was bored as hell. And covered with chalk dust. He didn't exactly look... well, sane.

--

Wait a minute! We did that part already! hits fast forward

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The book was heavy and leather bound. The enscription on the spine was not ment for human eyes. He blew the dust off the cover, despite the fact that there wasn't any. He opened it to a random page.

Ah, now THIS looked promising.

He'd need a pregnant woman, though.

--What? No way! Scratch that.--

He wouldn't need a pregnant woman, though. Why that was a problem was beyond him.

The book was written in the silvery blood of the spirits of the hefferworld. It smelled strongly of beef.

"Ooga knockers, ooga knockers!" Arty chanted, dancing around the circle. Unfortunately, something went horribly wrong!
Well, two things. Come to mention it, three things. The first was that Artemis wasn't a good dancer. Don't look, children!!

The second was that, because of the bad dancing, Artemis scuffed the chalk on the floor.

The third escapes the author's mind at the moment. She supposes that brings the tally up to four problems. She doesn't really care, though.

Artemis had no way of knowing these things, though. Well, actually, he probably knew he was a bad dancer. The author apologises for all these tangents she's going off on.

The room filled with a bright pink light, which started at the innermost circle and spiralled its way to the walls. It did this in three fiftieths of a second, and so it seemed that the girl was just standing there suddenly.

"Teh frak?" she said. She looked around.

Arty looked confused. The girl was tallish, thinnish, palish, and nothing like a fish. She had long dark hair and dark eyes, and was wearing a pair of jeans and a black shirt. She did not look like an Al at all.

"Are you an Al?" he asked, just to be on the safe side.

"What? No! That's silly! What kind? The kind that plays the accordion or the kind that wears a pointed hat covered in bells?"

"The demon."
"Yeah, see, you did the dance wrong. You didn't summon a demon, you summoned... uhm... what was it again?"
"You?"

"Yeah, that's it. So, what did you want an Al for, anyways?"

"I was bored."

"Ah, yeah. I got an Oni like that, once. Bad times for all. Cured the boredom, though. You need a shower."

Artemis looked down at himself. His once well groomed clothing was now pale and ragged looking in the thick layering of dust on it. He brushed hs hands off. "Well, you need... a banana."

"Huh?"

"Yes. I suggest you find one while I get cleaned up." he walked out of the room before the girl could protest.

"What an odd person..." the girl went off in search of a banana.