Cocabella: Are you guys sure we don't own Harry Potter? I mean, with our brilliance, we might as well have written it ourselves...

Charletto: YES, Cocabella, we are POSITIVE that we don't own Harry Potter!

Emmy: Well, Charletto, I dunno...

Charletto: We. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter. FACE THE FACTS AND DEAL WITH IT!

Emmy and Cocabella: (burst out sobbing)

Now You're Really Cooking With Easy Bake

My name is Dudley

But I am no dud.

I am not fat anymore.

My mommy says I'm a stud

Was it Atkins or Southbeach that did this to me?

The girls have yet to flock to me

There was a girl called Edna Mary Sue

Her hair is far from the color of poo

Will she ever know how I feel?

Will my wistful dreams of her ever be real?

She is second only to my love of cake

How can I love anyone more than my Easy Bake?

I have a gang

We're pimp

Bang

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I have a pimped-out cane

It's one pimp stick

With my rapper suit on, dude,

I look insane

I can rap, but I won't swear

Because I'm the kind of boy who writes his name in his underwear

I used to have a piggy tail

But that was not cool

You know what's cool? Sitting in a pool.

Dawg, that is so fly

It makes me want to cry

And it makes me want Cho to die

(whoever the hell Cho is)

In any case,

Burn, Cho, Burn.

(After countless lypos and the tragic disappearance of his Easy Bake, Dudley turned to his only love besides Edna Mary Sue: Male modeling. He was at one time the poster boy for Abercrombie and Fitch, and marriedeight times. Only once to a piece of food. His mummy died and his daddy and his psychiatrist think this is an improvement. He had three of his8 wives beheaded, and before joining them again in the underworld with Hitler, he turned his back on modeling and joined the Italian mafia. He never learned to speak Italian, but the food he married was a really long strand of spaghetti. Scientists and studiers of human psychology believe that this reminded him of his deceased mother. He currently resides in hell with Hitler and 5 of his8 wives (the spaghetti strand included).

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