DISCLAIMER: Anyone else think I'm losin my touch with the screwed up disclaimers? I think I'll need more time now to think one up. In the meantime please accept my boring, no-effort disclaimer: Me no own Animorphs, ya heard?
NOTE: Jeez, you guys flooded me with reviews so that that I couldn't do my usual ritual of me being my own first reviewer! Now you done jinxed my entire story. Now I don't FEEL like continuing. Hmph. Hee hee, just playin. But for real, I think there's a curse hanging over this story now, beware!
F-RECAP-LE: Let's see, we find out Rachel's mom and Marco's dad are dating **gasp** (yeah yeah, okay, the shock must've worn off by now, huh?) Anyway, they're supposed to have their date at the new movie theater downtown. Unofortunately, Erek informs our 'Morphies that it is almost completely run by the yeerks. Dangit, what's a 'Morphy to do??
Rachel -
What do we do? I asked. My mom and Marco's dad were halfway through the parking lot, chatting like old friends. I watched in horror as Marco's dad started to lower his hand from my mom's back ever so slowly. Oh my god, Marco, call off your dad!
Woo-hoo, sly dog! Marco whooped. I fought back the urge to make him plummet to his death.
That's sick. That's disgusting. That's just -
Rachel, calm down. Marco was just joking. Cassie said.
I knew that. The idiot thrived off pissing me off. Actually no he didn't. If he actually did, he'd be like 20 feet tall by now. A lot more than his what, 3 feet?
Hee hee. Marco chuckled sheepishly.
Alright, you have your fun. But when they have kids. . .
OH GOD! Marco cried. Don't say that!. No. No no no.
They'll probably do it in your house. Since my mom's bed is really small. You might walk in on them having -
STOP! Marco, Jake, and Ax yelled.
Okay, okay, jeez. Little boys can't take their own medicine? I laughed.
I do not think I am ready yet to be informed specifically how humans conceive children. Ax said with a blush in his voice.
Focus, people. They're on line already. Jake informed us. I looked. They were 7th on the line. We had to get them out of there.
We should call them! I said suddenly. My mom told me to call her if we needed her back home.
What is your phone in your feathery little pocket or something? Marco asked.
Shut up -
Guys! Tobias interrupted. How bout a payphone?
We need change for that. Cassie said. We hovered helplessly above the theater, wracking our brains for ideas. At least most of us were. Ax was eyeing a Sno-caps wrapping on the ground. Luckily, owl's wings are completely silent, so we didn't catch attention. My first impulse was to cause a diversion, but I didn't want to hurt my mom. We had to find a safe way that guaranteed everyone's safety.
Poop! Marco declared suddenly.
What the hell? I demanded.
Poop on your mom! Then she'd have to go home and change! Marco clarified.
You're kidding. Tobias said.
No, that might work! Cassie said. Rachel's mom is as picky about being clean as Rachel is!
Hey. I said. Why my mom? Let's poop on your dad.
My dad won't care. He'll just whip off his jacket. Marco said.
I thought about it for a few seconds. Finding no way out of it, I sighed and gave in. Oh fine. Poop on my mom.
Bet you never thought you'd ever say THAT. Marco said almost joyfully.
We flew above the ticket line, were my mom stood 3rd in line. Marco's dad still had his arm around her. They were way to close for comfort. My mother laughed at whatever stupid thing Marco's dad said. She really looked pretty happy. Happier than I'd seen her in a while. Maybe it was all right if. . . I shook it off.
No way, that's gross. I thought to myself.
What? Rachel, it's the only way. Jake said.
I hadn't realized I was talking out loud. Oh, um, yeah. I was just. . .never mind.
Alright, ready. . .aim. . .FIRE! Marco let loose a small white-and-green. . .projectile.
"Eeeeeek!" my mom cried.
'Eek?' Ax wondered.
SPLAT! Marco's dookie hit home.
SPLAT! Jake's projectile hit my mother in the shoulder of her yellow blouse. A blouse I'd recognized as the one I gave her last Christmas.
"Hey, what's going on?" Marco's dad raised his eyes up to see where the poo was coming from.
We can't let him see us! I said. He might say something about birds, and the yeerks will know we're onto them!
He can't. It's too dark. Not unless we accidentally fly into one of those moving spotlights. Tobias assured me.
SPLAT! Ax dropped a projectile in my mother's hair.
"Oh my God, what is this?" mom yelled. The rest of the people on line were staring. And also backing away, so as not to come in range of the crazy invisible pooping birds.
"Naomi! Are you okay?" Marco dad asked.
Is she okay? She was just dumped on! I can't believe this dork! I muttered.
Hey, watch it. Marco said. He crapped again. I started to think he was enjoying this a little too much.
What the - stop Marco! I said. I flew over his Dad and fired right on to his over-gelled hair.
HEY!
You started it!
Will you guys please shut up!? Listen! Jake grabbed our attention.
"I need to go home and change." Mom said, disgusted.
'I'm sorry. I didn't - "
"It's okay Jeremy. It's not your fault." Then my mom looked up at Marco's dad. She started to laugh. Then Marco's dad started to laugh. The rest of the people on line stared at them strangely and cut them in line. They didn't appear to notice. Apparently being covered in owl crap was hysterical to them.
You've GOT to be kidding me. I said in awe.
No way. Marco said in the same bewildered tone.
Why are they laughing? Is this funny to most humans? Ax asked, thoroughly confused.
"Well, I should take you home. To wash up." Jeremy took my mom's hand.
"You too." She said, pointing at his hair. Then they set off towards their car, hand in hand, to wash the bird crap out of their hair.
This would make one VERY demented movie. I commented.
So, mission accomplished? Cassie asked hopefully. I don't want to know what Jordan and Sara have done to my house.
We have to do something about the rest of those people. Jake said. We need to save them too.
Well, then I say we break something. Put this place out of order. I suggested.
Yes, we do that. But not you and Marco. Jake said.
WHAT!? Marco and I exclaimed.
Rachel, you need to pick up Jordan and Sara and get home before your mom does. What happens if she comes home to an empty house? You too, Marco. Just tell your dad I went home. Jake said.
But - but -
No buts, Rachel. You guys need to go home. Jake said firmly.
I was enraged at first, but I slowly calmed down. He was right. And this movie theater might keep us busy for a while, I couldn't afford to be grounded.
Fine. I grumbled.
Well then let's a-go, Xena! Marco said.
I have to fly with this goober? I moaned.
Just go. You have to beat them. Jake said.
Fine. Come on, dipstick. We flew after our giggling parents.
- - - That's it fo' now. Was it short? It felt short typing. Oh well, I had to end it someplace. And I had to respon to the reviews which I think is as long as the actual chapter. . .
THE HAPPY KORNER (Ohhh, so happyyyy!)
DH - o0o0o 3 funnies! That makes me feel good, thanks!
Moon*wolf2 - Well, we gotta have the fun. Without the fun it would be. . .unfun. I feel sorry for Erek too. You should read my other story THE TASK. Then you'd feel sorry for Cassie. Hee hee hee! **sings** I looove making their lives difficuuuuult!
SurrealSerpent1 - Yeah, it's going to be pretty long. As long as THE SOMETHING and THE ISLAND. Glad you enjoy so far!
SouthernBelle - I was going to (since it's a really great story) but I came online one day and saw a story with almost the exact same plot. I guess the "great minds think alike" junk is true. I forget the title, but I probably won't post a story like that until the one I saw is forgotten, lol! But it really was good!
Myst4 - Uh, I dunno if Cassie doesn't eat beef. I just assumed cuz she loves animals so much she wouldn't eat them **shrug. And yes, hawks can get pills up their butts. They did it that book were everyone got sick AND I double checked on the 'net. Very strange things pop up when you type "pill up hawk butt" in a search engine….
*ROGUE* - Yes! People are happy I'm back. See there I was lying under my bed thinking no one loved me! Heehehehe. Okay, I'll input more Jake-Cassie just for you.
Freak show - "let the freakness eat my guts"? :\ that's scary! **runs away and hides holding a cheese grater as a weapon** Hehe, I might actually leave it untitled. That is, unless someone thinks of something better.
Jinako-chan - Well, you're sniffing something right, hehe. Your nose is definitely working. For Super Smash Bros I use Kirby, Link, or the Iceclimbers (cuz they cute). And guys think ANYONE is hot. My best friend is a guy and he thinks my mom is hot (I had to slap him with a wet cheeto and pull his hair for him to get over it).
Super Hurricane - LOL anomaly indeed. Freaked out, whacked up, and demented anomaly. Trust me, the screwed-upness will definitely get worse. **cackles at her own insanity**
Stink E. Burrito - I start school the 4th, so soon I will feel your pain. I'll try to get another chapter out before school starts. Hopefully this years batch of demons (teachers) won't be as bad as last years.
Chelz-Aelle - Harry Potter is better?? TRAITOR!!! **grabs a torch and corners you into. . .um. . .a corner** BURN!! Hee hee hee, just kidding. Fine, be like that. LoL. Okay, I will write more but I'm, going to cut out any Harry Potter references I have in my stories as protest! (Just kidding, I love Harry Potter).
Aniangel - JeEz, people are making me blush. Or it might just be because its like 99 degrees and I'm sitting at a really hot computer. Anyway, glad you like. God, your alter-ego is mean! You should lock it up in an electric cage like I do with mine. **tosses alter ego a banana. It growls at me**
Silent Hunter - As usual, Me glad you likey!
DawnOfEast - Where have I been? Uh, nowhere, hehe. Just been lazy. Well, I don't know if you can think up a title for me just yet. But thanks for offering. I'll need a lot of help.
Early - Heeheehee! I do the exact same thing. I say the exact same thing too. And thanks for adding me to the favorite authors list. According to the thingie, I'm on 26 of them :o You're already on mine (though you haven't updated in a looong time. Hurry up! Hehe.)
Prinki - Will do, chief!
BlackOpal - **sigh it came to me in a dream. . .** Hee hee, actually no, the plot really came from me and my cousin. See we hate each other's guts (she bites me. And she 16!) but our delusional parents think we love each other. They were asking me to move to beautiful San Francisco with them for a year. Live with the wrist biter? He-ellll no! But at least it made me think of Rachel and Marco. . .
Senydegger - **coughRATCHET AND CLANKsough** Hm, what? Eh, never mind hee hee. Hey, you said Freak Apple Records. I believe at the end of THE ISLAND I mentioned that specifically as something I owned! I demand a disclaimer or I will sue your butt bald!! (Just kidding). Anyway glad you enjoyed stick around for the ride!
Oediapl Kat - You're right you've read all my junk so I owe you, hehe. Actually I owe all of you. I remember starting it a month ago, but it hasn't been updated like forever. I think you just updated it recently though, I'll go hunt it down. Rachel and Maroc lived unhappily ever after? Hee hee hee, good idea. . .